plus he is not evil here 8

Nobody here?

I got permission from everyone involved to send this.

During my very first D&D campaign awhile back the story setting was there were two guard captains that controlled the city, with the evil one controlling the majority of the guards which is why our party was hired by the council of heroes and the good guard captain to mitigate and hopefully stop his influence. The catch was us being hired was a secret until he was brought down. Over the course of the campaign we had several run-ins with the evil captain, and each time he almost killed at least one party member if not more. He actually succeeded in killing two pcs. Throughout the campaign many moronic things happened like the barbarian elf running naked through the streets in an attempt to cause a distraction for the rest of the party and the dragonborn cleric convincing most npcs in the poor districts that he was the second coming of Bahamut because he could use heal spells. By the end of the campaign there was a civil war in the streets of the city with us being trapped in an abandoned shack with the evil captain right outside with a dozen guard-knights threatening to kill a friendly and very helpful to us dwarf npc if we didn’t come out.
Evil Captain: Come on out, or short and stout gets it! I know you’re in there!
My Half-Orc Fighter: Uh…I would like to persuade him to leave? Can I do that?
The DM: Sure. Roll persuasion.
*Rolls Nat 20* Alright what do you say?
Half-Orc: Um…no we’re not!
Evil Captain: If you’re not in there, who’s talking?
Goblin Bard: I would like to persuade him as well.
DM: *sighs* Roll persuasion. *rolls Nat 20 plus 8 points in persuasion* *DM sighs yet again* What do you say?
Goblin Bard: The only person in here is me, your grandmother! And I’m very disappointed in you David! (The evil captains first name)
DM attempts insight check for evil Captain that has an ungodly amount of insight skill points *rolls nat 1* *DM sighs again*
DM: Dave is so distraught he drops his gear and as he walks off you see him taking off his armor as he goes home to rethink his life choices. With no leader the evil guards quickly surrender. Congratulations. *DM sighs*

The captains ranked (from my least to most favorite)


As requested by anon. :)


If you’ve ever wondered what I, Bleach Lists Girl, think about the captains, then wonder no longer! Here they are, nicely ranked from my least to my most favorite, including all captains from all times. Unless I forgot someone.


#20: Kurotsuchi

I hate Kurotsuchi. Which isn’t to say that I’m not interested to see him do things. It’s not a Kon situation, where I want him ejected from the show. Kurotsuchi is just impossibly, horribly, irredeemably evil, and i can't like him.

Kurotsuchi:  Don’t mind me. I’m just checking to see where Gin and Aizen are placed, o blogger who “hates” evil characters.

BLG: SHUT UP


#19: Love

I, um, don’t have a very good read on Love. I like that he’s so into manga. But other than that I find him a little boring, I guess.

Love: Meh. I’m not insecure enough of a hero to let that bother me.


#18: Yamamoto

I also found Yamamoto to be fairly boring. Mostly he leaned on his staff and ran meetings. He was never….cute, I guess. Or funny in a way I connected with. Except of course for his eyebrows. His eyebrows are forever my favorite.

Yamamoto: I see your eyebrows and raise you FLAMING ZOMBIE BANKAI

BLG:

BLG: No but your eyebrows tho.


#17: Rose

I mostly like Rose because I follow people who like Rose. I never connected with him much on my own. I’m not entirely sure why. 

Rose: Perhaps you’re not artistic or sassy enough?

BLG: Or maybe I just don’t think of guitars as people?


#16: Isshin

I’m not Isshin’s biggest fan, generally. I don’t like how he treats his kids, and he’s a little too goofy for me. But Isshin the captain is pretty cool. I mean, he’s all adorable with Masaki. He picks Hitsugaya up. That flashback arc did a lot for Isshin in my mind. Just not enough to raise him above #16. *cough*

Isshin: S'ok.

Isshin: Masaki only said I was cool once too.


#15: Tosen

Tosen was an interesting character, slightly hampered by the fact that, well, sometimes his scenes seem a little boring. But then he adopted all those menos grande. And that makes up for many speeches about justice.

Tosen: What do you mean “makes up for?”


#14: Kyoraku

Okay. Now we’re into the tough part. The rest of the captains I’m all really fond of…but there’s just so damn many of them. So sorry, Kyoraku. I like your powers and how you’re a sneaky bastard who I think is secretly really really dangerous. But, um, I like the others more than you.

Kyoraku: I have a feeling I’ll move up once my bankai is revealed.

BLG: YOU DON’T KNOW ME


#13: Ukitake

Oh gosh. There is nothing bad to say about Ukitake. He is adorable. And also he is adorable. Plus he has interesting powers. And silky hair. I just like the other captains better, I guess. I have no real reason.

Ukitake: A dislike for a man who keeps coughing up blood?

BLG: NO


#12: Byakuya

I suppose this one might surprise people the most? Byakuya is not among my favorite-favorite captains. This is weird given that he is pretty much my favorite character to write. I suppose the problem is that I love omake Byakuya (or as some might say, OOC Byakuya), but I am not so into actual, serious, canon Byakuya. Well, comparatively speaking. Since again, we’re into the captains who all make me happy.

Byakuya: See, Renji? The people appreciate my jokes.

Byakuya: I am funny.


#11: Komamura

Komamura is just so delightful. I love the fact that he’s the one captain who is just….good. A decent individual, noble, brave, kindhearted, fuzzy. This is despite the fact that Komamura is SO good that sometimes he scenes can get a little, um, *whispers* boring.

Komamura: I understand.

Komamura: I am only an anthropomorphic wolf who sometimes turns into a smokin’ hot human.

Komamura: How could that be interesting?

BLG: Y-you’re not sarcastic!


#10: Kenpachi

Kenpachi has awesome fights, and I am all about awesome Bleach fights. Plus, his squad adores him, he is somehow adorable in his constant need to fight Ichigo, and I like his relationship with Yachiru. Kenpachi is great.

BLG: Aside from the fridging Unohana part.

Kenpachi: But I’m pretty sure we can blame that on Kyoraku.


#9: Kensei

My love of Kensei is undoubtedly influenced by maounosekai’s adorable comics and headcanons. But also I just love that he is muscly, angry, yet adorable, and that he tries to comfort children using the world’s scariest smile. Plus, the apron.

BLG: And the cargo pants.

Kensei: I feel a little objectified here.


#8: Gin

So, um, what I said about disliking Kurotsuchi because he’s evil….that, um, doesn’t mean that I don’t really like Gin despite the fact that he’s evil. Or perhaps because of. Gin is delightful to watch. He is cruel and sassy and occasionally adorable. And a horrible person. I-I have no excuses.

Gin: I tend to have that effect on people.


#7: Soi Fon

Soi Fon is one of those characters whose real and omake personae are equally attractive to me. In canon, Soi Fon is a stone-cold, terrifying, hateful killing-machine. In omake, she is desperately in love with Yoruichi and secretly wants to be a princess. I like both sides.

Soi Fon: There are no “sides.”

Soi Fon: There is a real characterization and a false one.

BLG: Or a real side and a secret side?

Soi Fon: NO


#6: Unohana

Unohana being revealed as the first Kenpachi is my…..second favorite moment in Bleach (the first being when all the visored stopped Ichigo from killing Hiyori). I am just so endlessly delighted by the fact that those crazy headcanons about Unohana being a secret bloodthirsty killing machine were…true.

Unohana: Yes and what a fruitful career I had after that reveal.

BLG: Shhhhh….Kenpachi probably can’t tell the difference between “dead” and “lying very still.”


#5: Aizen

Aizen grew on me. I actually found him boring at first, with his lack of facial expression and his hair. But I dunno. I got into Aizen the super-intelligent, ridiculously overpowered big bad. 

Aizen: Yes and I’m sure my new bondage chair has nothing to do with your interest.

BLG: Well I do like things that are funny…


#4: Hitsugaya

Hitsugaya used to be my favorite character…then my favorite captain….now he’s at least in the top 4. He is an archetype that I happen to like very much: the tiny angry character whose anger is not taken very seriously by the show. Plus he went to human world and played soccer in an episode that is canon in my heart.

Hitsugaya: My anger isn’t taken seriously?


#3: Shinji

Shinji is fantastic. Sassy, frequently upside down, with an impossible smile full of impossible teeth. And no matter how many times he loses horribly, I remain convinced that he is secretly bad-ass. Just, um, very unlucky.

Shinji: Yeah!

Shinji: Wait.


#2: Urahara

But Urahara, though. So intelligent. So transparently-pretending-to-be-harmless-when-he’s-not. So probably-very-evil. So wearing that awesome hat.

Urahara:

Urahara: Not really sure what to do with that.


#1: Yoruichi

But Yoruichi is always my favorite. I would love to see more of her being a captain. Or being in Bleach. At all.

Yoruichi: People are going to start being bored if you always put me as your #1 choice.

BLG: Like I’ll let that stop me.