i took a page from your book and got on okcupid to laugh at fuckboys and tl;dr this dude's like "come sit on my face like a throne" and katie. pls. i need a quirky one liner about thrones that doesn't include the iron throne because i'm pretty positive this annoying douche would totally turn it into a dick joke.
tell him you’ll sit on his face like a porcelain throne and shit into his open mouth
that thing that happens where you’re reading a really fucking good fanfiction and you have to put a hand over your face because you basically lose control of your mouth muscles, and you make all these mouth shapes that you don’t mean to make, and you just sit there like biting the shit out of your hand bc your mouth is no longer under your control bc the fanfiction is literally that good