pls don't laugh ;a;

Literally the most embarrassing thing that I have ever written

Ok, so I have been suffering from a really bad writer’s block, so @eli-heichou suggested that I write a crackfic about Hange turning Levi into a lizard. I hate myself for writing this, but nonetheless hope that you guys enjoy it. I dedicate this to @consultinghulagirl and @incrediblyunprofessional because they’ve been feeling down lately.

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[So with the crackish rp with @gxldenlord while warming some milk for myself I noticed how funny it is that I’m using as icon reactions images from that Xellina/ValgaavxXellos doujinshi… And of course my mind linked them somehow.

So basically… let’s do another polyamory with @mazoku-priest? xDD]

dohlwhip asked:

[text] send me a picture and i'll be home quicker ;) [text] the fridge is fully stalked. I'm either or hallucinating or this is a miracle [text] are you lost? [text] got a spare ticket, do you want to come? [text] if I say it was an accident, you'll just say I'm lying brhea [text] need to bury a body, it's urgent [text] my mouth tastes like poor choices julipphire

[Text from Rhea] Send me a picture and I’ll be home quicker ;)

[Reply from Brayden] Send you a pic? I can’t send you a sneaky! That beats the whole purpose of the surprise. Besides, I’m sure you’ve fantasied about it enough… big….amazing….meat ball pasta dish ;)

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anonymous asked:

If I was dating you, I would cuddle the shit out of you and steal the last bite of your favorite food off your plate. We'd still cuddle but I know you'll be glaring at me so I behave like a good little sinner.

Drop an “If I were dating you…” in my ask box anonymously

{ oh my god you little shit…… I’ll warn like i don’t share food either so I will probably glare at you a lot bc of what you did. I’d still cuddle you but like…. betrayal…. ate my food… }

anonymous asked:

Cock and ball torture?

No | rather not | I dunno | I guess | Sure | Yes | FUCK yes | Oh god you don’t even know |

OH MY GOD I AM LAUGHING GJFHGJG omg i am a literal baby and i know i couldn’t handle that kind of stuff on ME, let alone a person’s peen oh my god please don’t do that, even though i don’t have one i’m sure it does Not Feel Pleasant 

When your mother is a cook,
and she is surprised at your inability
to use anything in the kitchen correctly…
Also when you can’t follow instructions on the back of a box…

I could probably burn soup to a crisp somehow.

And you all thought I was joking or exaggerating
when I said I could make my fridge exlode