Modern TSOA Headcanons
- After getting into a fight with his neighbor, Patroclus is sent to a boarding school.
- This is where he first meets Achilles, the son of Headmaster Peleus
- He doesn’t like Achilles at first. Patroclus thinks that he’s too in over his head.
- He blames this on the fact that everybody constantly showers him in affection.
- Everybody except this one teacher.
- His name is Chiron, and he treats the students equally. That’s why Patroclus likes him.
- Also he’s more of a hands-on teacher rather than a lecture one.
Which is good, since Patroclus has a hard time paying attention to lectures.
- His perspective on Achilles changes when he ditches History class one day
- Achilles finds him lounging in the mess hall, munching on a fig
- Much to Pat’s surprise, Achilles covers for him, and even shows him this neat trick which involves juggling figs.
- From that point on, Achilles and Patroclus are officially bros™
- Achilles requests his Dad to tweak Patroclus’ class schedule so that they share all their classes together
- They totally go through a “bro™”stage
- “Hey, Pat, do you think an undercut would suit me?”
- “idk, bro, your hair is pretty cool when it’s long”
- “hmmm alright, alright, thanks bro.”
- “Anytime, bro.”
- It takes some time for them to come to terms with their feelings and admit to themselves that they don’t want to be just bros.
- Patroclus makes the first move.
- They’re in Achilles’ room. It’s way past curfew and they’re watching Brokeback Mountain on Achilles’ laptop.
- It’s in the heat of the moment, really. As Jack and Ennis kiss, Patroclus leans in and kisses Achilles too.
- It takes about a five seconds for him to register what he just did and he quickly pulls away.
- He expects Achilles to be disgusted, but he’s surprised when he realizes that Achilles is blushing.
- Their relationship develops from there
- It isn’t obvious at first, they still act normally.
- Then as time goes by, they begin holding hands in public. Every now and then, Achilles throws his arm around Patroclus’ shoulders.
- After a year, they disgust everybody with their constant displays of PDA
- Peleus doesn’t really mind that Achilles is gay and in a relationship. As long as it doesn’t affect his grades, he’s chill with it
- But Thetis
- Oh boy, that’s another thing.
- Thetis isn’t mad about the fact that Achilles is gay.
- She hates the fact that he chose to go for Patroclus.
- “He was sent here because of disciplinary issues! What if his rowdiness rubs off on you???”
- “MOM his disciplinary record here is spotless ??”
- They hang out a lot with the older kids
- Even if some of them
- “Ughh if you two are gonna make out then go do it somewhere else! Some of us have a hard time eating lunch while watching you guys shove your tongues into each other’s throats!”
- “Aw, come on, Agammemnon! Let the kids do what they want!
- “Shut up, Odysseus! They’re almost as bad as you whenever you talk about Penelope!”
- Achilles is in the track team and specializes in Javelin Throwing
- Patroclus often helps out at the clinic
- They have a rival school that’s just a couple of blocks away.
- During one of the “friendly tournaments”, they meet a girl from that school called Briseis
- She and Patroclus hit it off immediately
- Achilles is highkey jealous
- There’s this Student Athlete from that school that rivals Achilles’ track record
- His name is Hector.
- Achilles refuses to challenge him directly since he begrudgingly respects the guy
and bc he knows that he could wipe the floor with hector’s ass anytime
- But then, during another friendly tournament, Hector accidentally elbows Patroclus in the ribs because of the tightly-packed wave of students
- “Oh my God, I am so sor-”
- “YOU, ME, FIELD NOW.”
- “acHILLES, PLEASE, IT DOESN’T EVEN HURT THAT BAD.”
- Inevitably, Achilles beats Hector.
Just, an AU where everybody is alive and happy and nobody has to die pls
UPDATE: I made some modern Briseis headcanons as a companion piece to this! Check them out here !