pls check these guys out because oh my god

Modern TSOA Headcanons
  • After getting into a fight with his neighbor, Patroclus is sent to a boarding school.
  • This is where he first meets Achilles, the son of Headmaster Peleus
  • He doesn’t like Achilles at first. Patroclus thinks that he’s too in over his head.
  • He blames this on the fact that everybody constantly showers him in affection.
  • Everybody except this one teacher.
  • His name is Chiron, and he treats the students equally. That’s why Patroclus likes him.
  • Also he’s more of a hands-on teacher rather than a lecture one. Which is good, since Patroclus has a hard time paying attention to lectures.
  • His perspective on Achilles changes when he ditches History class one day
  • Achilles finds him lounging in the mess hall, munching on a fig
  • Much to Pat’s surprise, Achilles covers for him, and even shows him this neat trick which involves juggling figs.
  • From that point on, Achilles and Patroclus are officially bros™
  • Achilles requests his Dad to tweak Patroclus’ class schedule so that they share all their classes together
  • They totally go through a “bro™”stage
  • “Hey, Pat, do you think an undercut would suit me?”
  • “idk, bro, your hair is pretty cool when it’s long”
  • “hmmm alright, alright, thanks bro.”
  • “Anytime, bro.”
  • It takes some time for them to come to terms with their feelings and admit to themselves that they don’t want to be just bros.
  • Patroclus makes the first move.
  • They’re in Achilles’ room. It’s way past curfew and they’re watching Brokeback Mountain on Achilles’ laptop.
  • It’s in the heat of the moment, really. As Jack and Ennis kiss, Patroclus leans in and kisses Achilles too.
  • It takes about a five seconds for him to register what he just did and he quickly pulls away.
  • He expects Achilles to be disgusted, but he’s surprised when he realizes that Achilles is blushing.
  • Their relationship develops from there
  • It isn’t obvious at first, they still act normally.
  • Then as time goes by, they begin holding hands in public. Every now and then, Achilles throws his arm around Patroclus’ shoulders.
  • After a year, they disgust everybody with their constant displays of PDA
  • Peleus doesn’t really mind that Achilles is gay and in a relationship. As long as it doesn’t affect his grades, he’s chill with it
  • But Thetis
  • Oh boy, that’s another thing.
  • Thetis isn’t mad about the fact that Achilles is gay.
  • She hates the fact that he chose to go for Patroclus.
  • “He was sent here because of disciplinary issues! What if his rowdiness rubs off on you???”
  • “MOM his disciplinary record here is spotless ??”
  • They hang out a lot with the older kids
  • Even if some of them Agammemnon are douchebags
  • “Ughh if you two are gonna make out then go do it somewhere else! Some of us have a hard time eating lunch while watching you guys shove your tongues into each other’s throats!”
  • “Aw, come on, Agammemnon! Let the kids do what they want!
  • “Shut up, Odysseus! They’re almost as bad as you whenever you talk about Penelope!”
  • Achilles is in the track team and specializes in Javelin Throwing
  • Patroclus often helps out at the clinic
  • They have a rival school that’s just a couple of blocks away.
  • During one of the “friendly tournaments”, they meet a girl from that school called Briseis
  • She and Patroclus hit it off immediately
  • Achilles is highkey jealous
  • There’s this Student Athlete from that school that rivals Achilles’ track record
  • His name is Hector.
  • Achilles refuses to challenge him directly since he begrudgingly respects the guy and bc he knows that he could wipe the floor with hector’s ass anytime
  • But then, during another friendly tournament, Hector accidentally elbows Patroclus in the ribs because of the tightly-packed wave of students
  • “Oh my God, I am so sor-”
  • “YOU, ME, FIELD NOW.”
  • “acHILLES, PLEASE, IT DOESN’T EVEN HURT THAT BAD.”
  • Inevitably, Achilles beats Hector.

Just, an AU where everybody is alive and happy and nobody has to die pls 

UPDATE: I made some modern Briseis headcanons as a companion piece to this! Check them out here !