plot twist!!!!!

More Lawyer AU

First of all, no one knows why Tony Stark wanted to be a lawyer. He was literally the absolute worst at law. He didn’t try at all, but he passed the bar, so he was a lawyer. You didn’t hire him unless you were absolutely hopeless because Tony liked challenges. He liked not being bored out of his skull. He’s been on jury duty approximately twice and only one of those times did he try to jump out the window. (Rhodey stopped him that time, that significant bastard.) 

His mortal enemy was Steve Rogers. Do-gooder lawyer who probably said things like “good golly” or “oh my goodness” on the regular. Disgusting. Steve Rogers was stubborn, but more importantly, he had stupidly organized speeches that could sway audiences. Ugh. 

They were enemies. Both were assholes. But they kept getting hired because they were the only two lawyers in New York that could get one hundred percent of the people on jury duty to show up early. So there’s that. 

“Ladies, gents, others of the jury,” Tony starts out, “let me start out by saying this looks really, really bad.” 

“Hey!” His client said. Tony shoots him a look. “It doesn’t look that bad.” 

“Dude, you kind of seem like you robbed a jewelry store. It’s looking real bad.” His client crosses his arms. 

“At least we agree on something,” Steve Rogers says. “If this man’s own lawyer says that it looks bad, how do we trust him?” 

“You trust me because I wasn’t finished yet,” Tony snarks back. “So, as I was saying, it looks bad. But just because something looks bad doesn’t mean it is bad. For example, Steve Rogers’ fashion choices look bad. He wears khakis about ten hours a day. I bet he has pajama pants that look like khakis. But is he a bad guy? No. Same with this guy I’m defending.” 

“You know I have a name, right?” The client says. “It’s John!” 

“How boring,” Tony says. “But, now I leave Steve to do this thing. Knock ‘em dead.” 

“Thank you,” Steve says. “Now, my client was robbed of not just jewelry…” Tony rolls his eyes as the jury laughs. Looks like he’s winning this round. 

Except for the fact that Steve won’t stop doing good one-liners. “Ugh, that’s not even the point I’m trying to make, sweetheart,” Tony says. The whole ‘sweetheart’ thing is meant sarcastically so it means absolutely nothing, okay? “I’m saying that there’s no way my client could stash the jewelry literally anywhere except the store or his pockets. They searched him, he came clean. They found something at his house, but that was his own necklace.” 

“If I”m being fair, I did steal that one, like, fifteen years ago,” John offers. 

“You are so not helping your case,” Tony says. “Shut up.” John goes silent. 

“And you aren’t communicating with me,” Steve says. 

“Oh for the love of god,” The judge, Maria, snaps. “We’re not here to settle a couples dispute. We’re here to see if John here stole something. Get to the point.” Tony and Steve both freeze, looking at each other. 

John ends up going free because Tony won the crowd over with his facts and one-liners and his comedic timing. 

“Good job, Tony,” Steve says. “I think they made the right decision.” 

“You sound like they use you in school promotional ads about not doing drugs,” Tony says with a snort. “But thank you, Steve.” 

“Oh fuck you,” Steve says with a grin. “I do not.” 

“Eh, grow a beard,” Tony says. no don’t that steve you’re gonna be like an attractive mountain-man. Steve just laughs. 

“I’ll get you next time in court,” he says. 

“Good luck,” Tony says. “You’re gonna need it.” Steve laughs again, walking into his car and settling down in the driver’s seat. 

“Oh shit,” he cursed. Looks like he actually has a crush on the rival lawyer. 

Well, order in the court and all that. 

youtube

new sims video! it’s wholesome family fun - DILS BOWLING DESTRUCTION 🎳

(definitely no shocking incident at the end)

Sochi Banquet

I love how tentatively Viktor approached Yuuri during the Sochi banquet. Look at how many shots it took for this boy to get to Yuuri.

I find this to be especially precious given how Viktor already got rejected by Yuuri earlier that evening.

For all of his being a celebrity, Viktor does not strike me as the kind of person who can easily brush off another person’s dislike of him. Hell, he made a career out of pleasing everyone, and while I don’t think he would cry over another person’s opinion of him, neither does he seem like someone who could just easily dismiss it or not be hurt. I mean look at this face:

His reservations about approaching the fascinating Japanese boy were therefore perfectly understandable. We can even clearly see that he kept his distance for a bit at first.

But like a moth to a flame,

this precious boy

can’t seem to help himself.

And for a while it doesn’t seem like Yuuri even noticed him there?

Oh, but when he did…

It became such an unforgettable night.

Lmao, for Viktor anyway.

Poor Vitya.

Poseidon took a deep breathe as he transformed. He’d been doing this for 3 years in secret. He fixed his tie then knocked at the front door of the apartment. A woman with dark brown hair and blue eyes opened the door. She smiled at Poseidon.
“Happy third anniversary, Sally.”
Sally embraced him, “Happy third anniversary, Paul.”

There’s a dating app that prevents you from swiping right too soon. Appetence forces you to take things slow by making you talk to a match before you can see what they look like. Both profile images are blocked out by a pattern that slowly disappears when you ‘like’ each other’s messages. Your match has to like 50 of your messages to see your full photo, and you have to like 50 to see theirs. Source Source 2

Potter Potter Potter
  • Draco: Ugh, it's always 'Potter Potter Potter!' Why is everyone so obsessed with fucking Potter?!
  • Pansy: *sigh* Draco, that's literally just you. You are the only one obsessed with Potter
  • Draco: What?! Don't be ridiculous. What about the constant rumors??
  • Pansy: You started every one of those rumors
  • Draco: The stories in the Prophet?
  • Pansy: You mean the stories you came up with and then gave to Skeeter?
  • Draco: Well explain to me all the whispered conversations I hear when I'm *trying* to get work done?
  • Pansy: You talk to yourself when you do your homework
  • Draco: The badges with his name on them?
  • Pansy: You made those
  • Draco: The songs about him?
  • Pansy: You again
  • Draco: It's not just me! The other Slytherins all make fun of him too!
  • Pansy: You threatened to ostracize us if we didn't regularly antagonize him!
  • Draco: Well surely you can't imagine I'm responsible for the rampant speculation about his sex life
  • Pansy: You literally started a betting pool about the size of his dick.
  • Draco: All the girls asking him to the dance?
  • Pansy: You offered fifty galleons to anyone who swore they would take him and then not touch him
  • Draco: The invasive fantasies about his mouth?
  • Pansy: You— wait, what?
  • Draco: The shrine to him under my bed?
  • Pansy: Oh my god