plo tcw

I want an au where Jango Fett survives the Battle of Geonosis and goes about his bounty hunter business with Boba during the a Clone War. All is good, he’s got his son and his credits and he is managing to avoid this war and his clones. All is good.

Until one day a small group of Jedi consisting of Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Plo Koon show up wherever he and Boba are currently living. Their reason for coming?

They are here to fight him for parental custody of the clones.

100% Totally Accurate Facts About Your Favorite Jedi

1. Depa Biliba is the reigning Jedi Temple Beer Pong Champion.

2. It’s well established that Anakin Skywalker eats live bugs.  Less well known is that Ahsoka has moved up the food chain to live small vertebrates.

3. Mace Windu has played Dr. Frankenfurter on stage.  Three times.  He’s got a lovely voice and the legs for the role.

4. 67% of all chupacabra sightings are actually Master Yoda.

5. Obi-wan Kenobi has “lost” a total of twelve robes since the war began,  However, at least three of them are in his Commander’s foot locker.

6. Quinlan Vos has technically only broken one bone in his life, his left radius.  However, he’s broken it on seventeen separate occasions, mostly by doing “Stupid shit” according to his commander.

7. Jocasta Nu can rap like hell, and has been a contributing artist on several underground albums.

8. Plo Koon is considered massively attractive for a Kel-Dor.  He rarely visits his home-world because he doesn’t like the attention.

9.  Kit Fisto cries whenever he sees baby animals.  They’re so small.

10. Aalya Secura is a Certified Tax Accountant, and does a side business on the rare occasion things are slow.

11. Shaak Ti didn’t realize she actually IS venomous until she was well into her thirties.  She didn’t realize she was dyslexic either.  Jedi healthcare is a goddamn mess.

Clones with De-Aged Jedi

So sauntering-down​ has been giving me de-aged clone feels, but what would happen if the JEDI were the ones to be De-aged?  Imagine the poor clones trying to cope.

Cody can’t get over how TINY General Kenobi is(He was a little guy before, but this is stupid cute) and won’t stop floofing his padawan-hair.  Obi-wan is still a snarky little shit, but his wit stings a lot less when one of his comebacks is interrupted by his voice cracking

The clones in Quinlan Vos’ unit are amazed how little he changes.  Quinlan didn’t really grow up, he just got taller.  Similarly, Gree has to deal with Yoda as an infant, and is amazed how little this changes things.  Yoda is still bald, , getting into trouble and largely unintelligible.  The only difference now is that Yoda is SO tiny that he now fits comfortably inside a helmet, which makes for adorable pictures that are immediately uploaded to the holonet.

Fives and other clones on Kamino almost don’t recognize Shaak Ti, her facial marking change so much.  The finally believe it’s he after she addresses the kaminoans attempts to experiment on her with her usual “Do-I-Have-To-Cut-A-Bitch?” tone.  Shaak seems to have forgotten much of what she has learned about patience and Fives ends up following her around trying to dissuade her from disemboweling people for being obstructive.

post-puberty Aalya’s Clothes do not fit Pre-puberty Aalya, even though they are nearly the same height, and Bly and the rest of the troops panic and scramble to cover her with whatever fabric they can find, which turns out to be their sleepwear and a tarp.  She looks fabulous anyway.

Ponds is amazed to discover that Mace needed eye surgery in his teens, and now that he’s a kid again, is so near-sighted he’s legally blind.  He and Trap take turns leading him around like guide-dogs until they can find a set of glasses for him.  His hair is back as well, and the texture fascinates them, though they try to be polite about it.  Mace knows it is only well-meaning curiousity and eventually lets one of them braid it while he squints at the reports.

There is panic among the Wolf Pack.  Droids? No problem!  Giant monsters? Got this!  Tiny Plo? WHAT THE FUCK DO WE DO!? The first issue is that Plo’s mask nearly falls off during the change, and only stays on because Wolffe Tackles him and pins it in place.  There is a scramble to find another mask, then the trials of trying to keep a telekinetic and perhaps too trusting six-year-old out of trouble on the outer rim.  The Pack forms a peramenent guard around the tiny Kel-dor, and wolffe spends most of his time carrying him becuase it’s the only reliable way to know where he is at all times.

The winner though, is Rex, who arrives at the temple days later looking a mess and like he hasn’t slept in a month with Baby Ahsoka in a harness on his chest and Anakin on one of those little kid leashes. The restraints do little to keep the out of trouble-  Ahsoka can still levitate things off his belt (Like blasters) and the leash is still long enough for anakin to run into traffic, off ledges, and into all manner of danger.“I am not prepared for this level of responsibility.”  Rex mutters before collapsing.

can i please have an au where the jedi council rubs their collective 2 brain cells together and decide that obi-wan, barely a knight, is not ready to take on a padawan; especially one who needs specific training like anakin.

but they see the importance of obi-wan fufilling qui-gon’s last wish, so they come to a compromise: anakin will be taught by two masters.

but there’s the issue of deciding who the other master will be, and obi-wan and anakin are fidgeting and standing in front of the council, anakin wringing his hands and looking nervous and scared and lost.

and plo koon just…. knows. it’s time to dad. he Has To.

Assorted Star Wars Headcanons

thecaptainphasma These are for you!

1. Mace Windu like animals a great deal more than he likes people.  If he was not a Jedi he’d have, like 17 voorpaks and something large and carnivorous.

2.  Anakin is vegetarian when he has the choice.  Growing up on tattooine, he didn’t get much meat and still has trouble digesting it.

3. Obi-Wan’s beard looked hilarious when it was first growing in.  It looked even more hilarious with his hair coming back in after the Rako Hardeen Arc.

4. Clones have all kinds of secret codes and signals they’ve invented for dealing with Jedi.  Cody invented “Code H”  for “The general has a massive hangover again.”

5.  Yoda and Mace absolutely gossip like teenage girls about everyone.  Friends don’t judge each other.  They Judge other people.  Together.

6. Padme was class president in 4th grade.  The office didn’t exist prior to her coming to school.  That’s the level of political organization we’re talking here.

7. Rex keeps a running tally on the ships Anakin has destroyed by shooting them down vs Ships Anakin has destroyed by crashing them.  The ratio is not favorable.

8. Wolffe will eat literally anything that slows down and enjoys hunting for food.  A visitor to the troop inquired as to what was to be served for dinner, only to be interrupted by a loud animal screech.

“Whatever that was.” Said the shiny.

9. Plo takes his troops to the opera, art galleries, festivals ANYTHING to get them involved in the local culture and expand their truncated  life experiences. Wolffe is secretly more interested in these than he pretends to be.  He likes Modern art and cotton candy.