pleasefireme

At one point while browsing the Internet under the watchful-yet-lenient eye of JARVIS, the bots run across the site where employees submit their worst horror stories at work. It takes them all of ten minutes to cave and start plotting revenge on the employees’ behalf.

JARVIS helps.

Wishful Gif-ing

When Awful Coworker just barges into my office to ask if I can verbally tell them stuff I wrote in an email because they just can’t be bothered to read my email or pay attention in meetings. Also, interrupting me in the middle of my actual, you know, WORK, with no attempt to see if this is an okay time for me to drop everything and do their job for them.

You have to love it when the 9000-year-old attorney who’s the mentor of your boss, AND WHO DOESN’T HAVE A FUCKING COMPUTER IN HIS OFFICE AT ALL, sends edits to a large document via fax, written by hand, in nearly illegible script writing, and they contain huge inserts to said document, followed by these instructions:

“In the fifth line of page 7, I would suggest changing the last sentence to read ”…and is (legal language here).“

You FUCKING IDIOT, don’t you realize that when you add giant inserts to a document, IT CHANGES THE PAGINATION, and the fifth line of page 7 is no longer the fifth line of page 7 and NOW I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHERE YOU WANT THIS SHIT INSERTED BECAUSE YOU’VE GIVEN ME NO CONTEXT?!

I have a good idea where you can insert it, sir.

Ugh

I  am a manager at Wendys. Another manager refuses to do anything I ask like putting her hair up, or wearing gloves over her nail polish. We were arguing today, pretty heatedly, and apparently my issue with her is that I have a problem with women in positions of authority. I am a woman and we are in the same position, hierarchically.
Oh, and my hair is more likely to fall out than hers, even though my hair is in a bun, and hers is a 2 foot long ponytail.
Not sure how to argue with stupid. Someone teach me!

Tutorial: How To Survive The Job You Hate

Step One: Quit.
No, I’m totally kidding. Don’t quit your job until you have prayed about it and saved enough money to do so.

Step Two: Customer Appreciation
Depending on what field you are currently burrowed in, you may be in contact with repeat customers.
Form a positive relationship with these customers so that even on your worst days you have a bright spot.
Example: A sweet chain smoking flight attendant that laughs at my attempts to speak Spanish with my coworkers.

Step Three: Teaching Moments
Those rare, positive customers you run into should be diverse in every way. Developing these positive bonds will allow you to become comfortable in learning from them and teaching them in some instances.
Example: I meet people from different parts of the world every day. When they are receptive to me, I ask them questions about where they are from, their language, and tourist attractions in their respective areas. This brief cultural insight helps to make my day more interesting.
*So far I can say thank you and you’re welcome, and good bye in Danish, Spanish, and American Sign Language!

Step Four: Keep Looking
If you’re like me and a myriad of interesting customers couldn’t make you want to stay at your job then KEEP LOOKING. I firmly believe that eventually I will get the position and wage I deserve, I just have to keep looking. Completing 100 applications a week isn’t a guarantee that you will get a job offer, but completing 0 a week will guarantee that you won’t get any offers.

Step Five: Stay Encouraged
This one is pretty self explanatory, I think. Do what you can to maintain the job you are blessed to have (no matter how sucky it is).

-Ash

So I want to tell you all about my new role model at work. Let’s call her Ms. D'gaf because she is at that point in her career where she just doesn’t give a fuck. A parent requested a meeting with her to discuss his son’s C paper (he felt it deserved an A). When I asked her what happened at the meeting she said there was no meeting.
Me: I don’t understand.
Ms. D'gaf: I said no.
Me: What do you mean?
Ms. D'gaf: I said I wouldn’t meet with him.
Me: I didn’t know we could do that!
Ms. D'gaf: What are they gonna do, fire me?

And THAT is my new motto/teaching philosophy!
#myhero #wordsofwisdom #freshoutoffucks #fireme #seriously #pleasefireme

Made with Instagram

Started following pleasefireme, and after reading the tales, I am now making a slight adaptation to my career goals: I still want to go into IT, but now I want to become a senior staff member or a high-level manager. That way, I have the power to punish the fuck out of assholes who mistreat my employees, and when they ask for the manager, I can loom over them like Walter White and say “I AM the manager…!” MUHAHAHAHA!

There was a guy who came through my line today while I was on front cash and he had his iPhone recording and the flash was on and had it shined literally right in my face the entire time. His arm was reached over my register just to shine it in my face and just like how fucking rude can you be?? Why are you recording me ordering your food and trying to blind me?? He was super old and he kept laughing whenever I struggled to put the order in due to his light. Whenever I moved my head a little so I could see the register he moved the camera. It’s like he was taunting me and then continued to record me taking other peoples orders while he waited for his food. So fuxking weird I hate creepy old people

Please fire me. I work at Starbucks, and yesterday, I was asked to make a venti-grande cappuccino with hazelnut blended and no foam…. When I told her I couldn’t make this drink, because it was a hot and cold drink and it would just be cold(since she wanted it blended) she proceed to have me call my manager over so she could get a free drink because her server(me) didn’t know how to make the drinks.

I fucking hate society as a whole.
The three year old kid is running around the store, making a mess. The mom is elsewhere not giving a fuck that their kid is gone, so she loads a cart up full of stuff and asks an associate to call for a code Adam. If you work retail you know this alarm very well. And so an associate caught him, put the kid into her cart and she literally RAN out of the store with the cart of merchandise and the kid.
And all the associates could think is: Thank god she’s gone.

An asbestos removal co-worker of mine was once offered watermelon by sub-contractors from a southern company on this huge gas pipeline dismantling job in rural Iowa. Our supervisor advised them to let it go, saying, “I’ll tell you guys, there are a lot of bad people in this world, and most of them are from the South.”