please-ask-me

ALRIGHTY THATS A LAME BANNER BUT ITS OKAY BECAUSE YA GURL IS COMIN AT YOU WITH FIC RECS !!!!!!

since this is the first time i’m doing these i’m just gonna toss some of my favorite fics EVER into the air,, enjoy and please please please send me asks with fics you like / types of fics you’d like me to rec / etc. anyways,, here goes !

i. escapade 

mature | 146k | h&l, ziall

in the grand scheme of things, finding a date for a wedding should be no problem for louis tomlinson. he’s rich. he’s handsome. he’s reasonably well behaved. but when the wedding is for his lifelong best friend (and former boyfriend), and is happening in under a month, finding a date for the ceremony and accompanying festivities becomes more of an adventure than he ever could have planned for.

ii. young and beautiful

mature | 227k | h&l, ziam

louis, to his horror, attends an elitist university in which the name zayn malik means something, niall horan doesn’t stop talking, there are pianos everywhere, and harry styles, only son of a drug-addled, clinically insane ex-rocker, has a perfect smile and empty eyes.

iii. wild and unruly

explicit | 123k | h&l

harry is a cowboy sitting on the biggest oil reservoir in wyoming, and louis is the paralegal assigned to pressure him into selling his land.

iv. swim in the smoke

explicit | 101k |  h&l

“what about this, captain?” liam asks, nudging the boy kneeling between their feet with the toe of his boot. the boy hisses and swipes at him, slurring out something unintelligible around the makeshift gag niall had to stuff in his mouth. he misses by a mile and tries again, just as ineffectively.

harry looks down at him, at the way the sun streams over his face and shoulders, at the way the gag stretches his mouth, lips pink and chapped. he’s lithe and pretty, smudged all over with dirt. they had found him tied up below deck, mostly unconscious, next to a barrel full of gold. he’s clearly a prisoner, but there’s something familiar about him, something that niggles at harry’s brain. something he can’t quite put his finger on.

“put him in my cabin,” harry decides, turning back to deal with the rest of the loot. the boy screams out jumbled curse words at harry’s back, muffled by the gag, and harry can’t understand any of it.

v. strawberry milk fic

explicit | 333k | h&l, ziam

“so here’s the thing,” he starts. “i didn’t mean what i said a few weeks ago to like, hurt your feelings or anything. if you like painting your nails, then you should do that, and not like, care if anyone else doesn’t like it because their opinions shouldn’t matter, you know?” louis takes a breath, finally glancing over to see the boy wide-eyed and pink-cheeked. on a whim, he adds, “and like, i noticed you scraping it off and you haven’t been wearing any and i think you should because that’s what you like.”

or an au where harry paints his nails and drinks strawberry milk and is too nervous for it to be nothing and louis’ just trying to figure out whats wrong with him

vi. amazing sin

explicit | 56k | h&l, lilo, haylor

gears started turning in louis’ head. purely mischievous gears that had louis formulating a revenge plan against taylor. he’d had enough of sitting around and taking it. If she was going to call him a whore, then fine, he’ll act like one for real. “i’m going to say something, and as my friends you are obligated to love me anyway.”

“this can’t be good,” niall said, zayn just groaned.

“so I know we have this strict ‘no lashing back at taylor’ rule with me, but what if I can get press revenge a different way?” louis asked. he wasn’t expecting an answer, because they knew by now to just go with it. “what if I stole her boyfriend?”

or, the story of louis ‘steal your man’ tomlinson.

vii. your mess is mine

mature | 202k | h&l

louis is the father to the most brilliant little boy in the world who is all louis really needs, or at least that’s what he tells himself. harry is a gorgeous boybander fresh off a two year break and a massive scandal that’s left him a little broken and more than ready to move on.

they fall in love.

viii. the dead of july

mature | 117k | h&l

being an avenger means continuing to be captain america and smiling and being honorable for the public and harry does his best. but it doesn’t give him time to figure out who he is supposed to be once he takes off his uniform and puts the shield to the side. just being harry had always involved louis, and harry fears he doesn’t know how to exist without him.

or: harry is captain america, and louis’ been dead for 70 years.

ix. unbelievers

explicit | 136k | h&l

it’s louis’ senior year, and he’s dead set on doing it right. however, along with his pair of cleats, a healthy dose of sarcasm and his ridiculous best friend, he’s also got a complicated family, a terrifyingly uncertain future, and a mortal enemy making his life just that much worse. mortal enemies “with benefits” was not exactly the plan.

or: the one where louis and harry definitely aren’t friends, and football is everything.

x. and then a bit

explicit | 158k | h&l, narbara, zerrie

“we’d like to give the fans what they want.” magee states, placing his hand on the table in front of him and leaning forward. “we want to give them larry stylinson.”

or, take a parallel universe where louis and harry were never together, mix in a two year hiatus and an impending comeback, pour in a dash of lost fans, two tablespoons of strong friendship and a modest! employee with a good idea. add a squeeze of pretending to be a couple, lots of kisses and a tattoo or two. stir. serve: the mother of all publicity stunts.

(aka harry and louis fake a relationship for publicity. eventually it becomes a lot less fake and a lot more real.)

xi. with a whimper

mature | 132k | h&l

the man grips his arm tightly. “you’re not going to say anything.” it’s not a question.

louis shakes his head, his body twitching.

“fine,” large green eyes survey him before letting go. “it’s cold. take this. wear it.”

louis can’t help another flinch as the man’s long scarf is wrapped around his tender neck, it’s still warm. he touches the soft material. “thank you.”

the man bears his teeth. “don’t thank me. don’t ever thank me.”

dystopian au. louis has been alone for too long to remember how not to be, and harry has too much to worry about to deal with a scrawny, wild, stranger.

xii. here in the afterglow

not rated | 88k | h&l

“if you hadn’t noticed, i don’t have many friends,” louis whispers, the blossom of insecurity in his stomach unfurling and clawing its way into his throat.

harry is silent for a long time, and then he speaks; a soft, slow uncurl that makes louis’ stomach shake. “i’ll be your friend.”

1970’s au. in a tiny town in idaho, louis’ life is changed forever by the arrival of a curious stranger.

xiii. atlas at last

mature | 93k | h&l

he doesn’t know what he had been expecting out of the road trip itself besides burping contests and too much shitty gas station food with oli and stan, but in the brief moment before harry ambles up his driveway, louis idly wonders if this is about to become some sort of gay coming of age story.

maine to california in ten days. in which zayn’s an open-shirt hippie they meet somewhere in ohio, liam’s the pastor’s son running away from home, and niall’s the number they call on the bathroom wall.

it’s 1978. harry and louis are just trying to get to san fran in time for the queen concert.

xiv. you watched me sink

explicit | 38k | h&l

they’ve discussed it a few times - the boyfriend thing. it’s not like it’s some forbidden, horrific, abandon hope all ye who talk about furthering the relationship sort of subject. they’re mature adults. they’re in tune with their feelings, their hearts’ desires, the way those butterflies swoop in their bellies whenever they so much as hold each other’s hands. they like each other. a lot. it’s mutual, they know. but for now, they’re just content to enjoy the simplicity of what they have, and what they have is great.

when dating in secret stops being enough, then they’ll discuss that too.

or, the one where harry teaches sex ed and sneaks around with the drama teacher, and doesn’t realize how out of tune he is with his true feelings until everyone else figures it out for him.

xv. wear it like a crown

explicit | 141k | h&l, ziam

au. as part of a team of fixers hired to handle a gay scandal in buckingham palace, louis expects prince harry to be a lot of things—most notably a royally spoilt brat. never mind that the very same prince harry used to star in quite a number of louis’ teenage fantasies.

hope you enjoy these and i’ll be back next month !!!!

        I WOULD LIKE to return to this blog , i really would!! i may make a slow return ; my muse for ulfric is actually not hard to acquire. so, without further BABBLE, like this post for a STARTER. we’ll see how this goes.

Torn Up (Part 10)

Originally posted by wagnerhockey

All right, herein lies the end of the pre-written. I hope that everyone enjoys this chapter, even though it’s a little clunky in the beginning. Also, this one has a bit of steam, but nothing like what is to come ;) (Speaking of, would you guys be receptive to the idea of some smut in an upcoming chapter…? Please sauce me an ask if you have strong feelings)

Warnings: cursing, sexual innuendo, and some PG-13 steam

Previous chapters


Tensions were high that afternoon, even after Mitch ran to the store to pick up a couple of drinks. I wondered how the people who worked at the liquor stores didn’t suspect him of having a fake ID, how they would even sell him booze, before remembering that he was, in fact, a well known public figure.

William and Auston continued to be extremely short with each other, to the point that sitting between them got uncomfortable fast. Because of this, my text conversation with Steph regarding the boys’ odd behavior was almost incessant. Mitch tried to relieve the tension by being even bubblier than usual and inviting criticism, but William and Auston were too stubborn to let even ridiculing Mitch bring them together.

William and I also kept stealing little glances and touches, trying to get the other to react. It was the ultimate game of don’t get caught, and it was thrilling, though I was pretty sure the other three were on to us. The hand he had on my back eventually travelled down to find purchase in my back pocket, and my own was playing with the baby hairs at the nape of his neck, which I knew from past experience was something he liked.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hello yes you customer who keeps badgering me. Despite what you seem to think, hovering around my work area will not make the dishwasher finish the cycle faster. Nor will it grant me the power to conjure up a freaking spoon. So not only are you being a dick...but! YOU ARE IN THE WAY AND YOU HAVE NEARLY MADE ME DROP MULTIPLE TRAYS OF DISHES SO IF YOU COULD MOVE??? Also please stop asking me to take your order. THERE ARE SIGNS EVERYWHERE SAYING TO ORDER AT THE TILL...UGH!!!!

I CROSSED 400 FOLLOWERS!!!

YAY FOR MY TINY WEIRD BLOG!!!

YOU GUYS ARE SO AMAZING???

I’m like…not doing anything special to celebrate??? no drawings or anything you wonderful peeps do all the time??? But please, send me asks or chats or whatever you want to talk about. Thank you for making Tumblr fun.. <3 <3 <3

*Rags out*

alright guys I have some urls I’m not using so please shoot me an ask if you’re interested in

@starspeaces @fuckspock @spockspeare @spirkkiss @tedsturgeon @kirkwhom @khancelled @ashayarn @gaypiloting @spockvevo 

Cool Asks for Fic Writers
  • 1. Describe yourself how you would describe a character you’re introducing
  • 2. Is there any specific ritual you go through while/before/after your writing?
  • 3. What is your absolute favorite kind of fic to write?
  • 4. Are there any other fic writers you admire? If so, who and why?
  • 5. How many words can you write if you sit down and concentrate intensely for an hour?
  • 6. First fic/pairing you wrote for? (If no pairing, describe the plot)
  • 7. Inspiration, time, or motivation. Choose two.
  • 8. Why do you choose to write?
  • 9. Do you ever have plans to write anything other than fic?
  • 10. What inspires you the most?
  • 11. Weirdest thing you’ve ever written/thought about writing/etc.?
  • 12. A fix you wish you had written better, and why?
  • 13. Favorite fic from another author?
  • 14. Your favorite side pairings to put in?
  • 15. Your guilty writing pleasure?
  • 16. Do you have structured ideas of how your story is supposed to go, or make it up as you write?
  • 17. Would yo describe yourself as a fast writer?
  • 18. How old were you when you started writing?
  • 19. Why did you start writing?
  • 20. 4 sentences from your work that you’re proud of
my inbox is empty - fill it ‼️

🍊 tell me how ur day is going
🌼 tell me abt ur crush !
🍊 tell me ur plans for the summer
🌼 or ur plans for next weekend
🍊 tell me what u would wear to a festival
🌼 or just what ur wearing today !
🍊 suggest some films and tv I should watch
🌼 or books I should read

Questions to ask me!
  1. How are you doing today?
  2. How tall are you?
  3. What color are your eyes?
  4. What is your zodiac sign?
  5. When is your birthday?
  6. What is your sexual orientation?
  7. Do you have/want any tattoos?
  8. Do you have/want any piercings?
  9. Who is your best friend?
  10. What makes you happy?
  11. What are your top 5 favorite bands?
  12. What are your top 5 favorite songs?
  13. What are your favorite song lyrics right now?
  14. What are your top 5 favorite movies?
  15. What are your top 5 favorite TV shows?
  16. Favorite blog?
  17. Favorite color?
  18. Favorite book?
  19. Favorite animal?
  20. Favorite food?
  21. Are you a vegetarian?
  22. Biggest pet peeve?
  23. Are you single?
  24. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?
  25. Describe your crush?
  26. Describe your dream girl/guy?
  27. Who was the last person you held hands with?
  28. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
  29. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
  30. Random fact about yourself?
  31. Do you play any instruments?
  32. What are you bad habits?
  33. Do you smoke, drink or do any drugs?
  34. Are you outgoing or shy?
  35. Do you have trust issues?
  36. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?
  37. Where are you from?
  38. Where would you like to travel?
  39. Have you ever been arrested?
  40. What pisses you off?
  41. What turns you on?
  42. What does the most recent text that you sent say?
  43. Do you believe in luck and miracles?
  44. Do you believe in life on other planets?
  45. Do you believe in love at first sight?
  46. Do you believe in ghosts?
  47. Are you afraid of the dark?
  48. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?
  49. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
  50. Do you regret anything from your past?
Send me numbers please

Send me some numbers yo, I’ll answer them all.

Please, I’m extremely bored. :)

  • 1:Name
  • 2:Age
  • 3:3 Fears
  • 4:3 things I love
  • 5:4 turn ons
  • 6:4 turn offs
  • 7:My best friend
  • 8:Sexual orientation
  • 9:My best first date
  • 10:How tall am I?
  • 11:What/Who do I miss?
  • 12:What time was I born?
  • 13:Favourite color
  • 14:Do I have a crush?
  • 15:Favourite quote
  • 16:Favourite place
  • 17:Favourite food
  • 18:Do I use sarcasm?
  • 19:What am I listening to right now?
  • 20:First thing I notice in a new person
  • 21:Shoe size
  • 22:Eye color
  • 23:Hair color
  • 24:Favourite style of clothing
  • 25:Ever done a prank call?
  • 27:Meaning behind my URL
  • 28:Favourite movie
  • 29:Favourite song
  • 30:Favourite band
  • 31:How I feel right now
  • 32:Someone I love
  • 33:My current relationship status
  • 34:My relationship with my parents
  • 35:Favourite holiday
  • 36:Tattoos and piercings i have
  • 37:Tattoos and piercings i want
  • 38:The reason I joined Tumblr
  • 39:Do I and my last ex hate each other?
  • 40:Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?
  • 41:Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?
  • 42:When did I last hold hands?
  • 43:How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?
  • 44:Have you shaved your legs in the past three days?
  • 45:Where am I right now?
  • 46:If I were drunk and can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?
  • 47:Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?
  • 48:Do I live with my Mom and Dad?
  • 49:Am I excited for anything?
  • 50:Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?
  • 51:How often do I wear a fake smile?
  • 52:When was the last time I hugged someone?
  • 53:What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?
  • 54:Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?
  • 55:What is something I disliked about today?
  • 56:If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
  • 57:What do I think about most?
  • 58:What’s my strangest talent?
  • 59:Do I have any strange phobias?
  • 60:Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
  • 61:What was the last lie I told?
  • 62:Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
  • 63:Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
  • 64:Do I believe in magic?
  • 65:Do I believe in luck?
  • 66:What’s the weather like right now?
  • 67:What was the last book I’ve read?
  • 68:Do I like the smell of gasoline?
  • 69:Do I have any nicknames?
  • 70:What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?
  • 71:Do I spend money or save it?
  • 72:Can I touch my nose with a tongue?
  • 73:Is there anything pink within 10 ft from me?
  • 74:Favourite animal?
  • 75:What was I doing last night at 12 AM?
  • 76:What do I think is Satan’s last name is?
  • 77:What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?
  • 78:How can you win my heart?
  • 79:What would I want to be written on my tombstone?
  • 80:What is my favorite word?
  • 81:My top 5 blogs on tumblr
  • 82:If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?
  • 83:Do I have any relatives in jail?
  • 84:What superpower would I have?
  • 85:What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?
  • 86:What is my current desktop picture?
  • 87:Had sex?
  • 88:Bought condoms?
  • 89:Gotten pregnant?
  • 90:Failed a class?
  • 91:Kissed a boy?
  • 92:Kissed a girl?
  • 93:Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?
  • 94:Had job?
  • 95:Left the house without my wallet?
  • 96:Bullied someone on the internet?
  • 97:Had sex in public?
  • 98:Played on a sports team?
  • 99:Smoked weed?
  • 100:Did drugs?
  • 101:Smoked cigarettes?
  • 102:Drank alcohol?
  • 103:Am I a vegetarian/vegan?
  • 104:Been overweight?
  • 105:Been underweight?
  • 106:Been to a wedding?
  • 107:Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?
  • 108:Watched TV for 5 hours straight?
  • 109:Been outside my home country?
  • 110:Gotten my heart broken?
  • 111:Been to a professional sports game?
  • 112:Broken a bone?
  • 113:Cut myself?
  • 114:Been to prom?
  • 115:Been in airplane?
  • 116:Fly by helicopter?
  • 117:What concerts have I been to?
  • 118:Had a crush on someone of the same sex?
  • 119:Learned another language?
  • 120:Wore make up?
  • 121:Lost my virginity before I was 18?
  • 122:Had oral sex?
  • 123:Dyed my hair?
  • 124:Voted in a presidential election?
  • 125:Rode in an ambulance?
  • 126:Had a surgery?
  • 127:Met someone famous?
  • 128:Stalked someone on a social network?
  • 129:Peed outside?
  • 130:Been fishing?
  • 131:Helped with charity?
  • 132:Been rejected by a crush?
  • 133:Broken a mirror?
  • 134:What do I want for birthday?
  • 135:How many kids do I want and what will be their names?
  • 136:Was I named after anyone?
  • 137:Do I like my handwriting?
  • 138:What was my favourite toy as a child?
  • 139:Favourite Tv Show?
  • 140:Where do I want to live when older?
  • 141:Play any musical instrument?
  • 142:One of my scars, how did I get it?
  • 143:Favourite pizza toping?
  • 144:Am I afraid of the dark?
  • 145:Am I afraid of heights?
  • 146:Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?
  • 147:Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?
  • 148:What I’m really bad at
  • 149:What my greatest achievements are
  • 150:What I’d do if I won the lottery
Percy Jackson/Mythology Themed Asks
  • Percy: How do you feel about swimming? Being on the water?
  • Annabeth: Are you satisfied with your smarts/grades?
  • Bianca: How much would you give for others to make them happy?
  • Zoe: How updated is your language?- how cool are you with the kids?
  • Nico: Biggest fear?
  • Thalia: What is your home?
  • Grover: How important is the earth to you?
  • Luke: Do you have feelings no one would expect of you?
  • Ethan: What would you give up for your biggest dream?
  • Piper: Do you think your pretty- do others think your pretty?
  • Jason: Do you keep your promises?
  • Leo: What's your element?
  • Reyna: What's your type of strong?
  • Frank: Favorite animal?
  • Hazel: Favorite gem?
  • Rachel Dare: What's your art?
  • Chiron: What makes a hero?
  • Hera: Are you easily jealous?
  • Zeus: Are you a good leader?
  • Athena: What's your fatal flaw?
  • Hermes: Godly parent/ CHB cabin?
  • Aphrodite: What's your sexuality?
  • Hestia: Who is part of your family?
  • Hades: Opinon on afterlife?
  • Hephaestus: Could you love someone even if they don't look good?
  • Artemis: If you could- would you join the huntresses? How do you feel on immortality?
  • Apollo: Favorite song/ line?
  • Ares: How easily are you angered?
  • Mr D: What's something about you that people wouldn't assume?
  • Demeter: Green thumb? Or do you kill all plants you touch?
  • Ambrosia and nectar: What would ambrosia and nectar taste like for you?
  • Prophecy: Do you believe in fate?
  • Pandora's box: Are you good at keeping your hopes up?
  • Camp Jupiter: Which camp would you choice to be in?
  • Camp Halfblood: Which camp WOULD you be in?
Secret Sign Language MasterPost

This is for @zenlikejen. 

Disclaimer: I don’t own all of these gifs (only some) so credit to the original owners of those i don’t own.

Okay so it has been clear from the start that some certain members from the band One Direction have gone to the great lengths (and most kind lengths) of leaning sign language. These two members are Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson and despite them using their new talent as a way to communicate to the deaf fans, they also have mostly used it to communicate with each other, and each other only.  

We firstly have this:

Here we clearly see Louis gives a small thumbs up before tapping his chest multiple times with his left hand at which Harry doesn’t notice properly at first. Also Louis realizes he is tapping with his wrong hand for what he is trying to say so therefore corrects himself by switching to his right hand and this time Harry sees; like so: 

When Louis taps his chest, in sign language it means ‘Mine’, so basically he is telling Harry that he is his and Harry replies with a small thumbs up, a common thing which I will talk about further down in the post. 

Louis also glances at Harry here and touches his chest, a year later and they still communicate through signing, Louis again telling Harry that he is his. 


Harry here signs to Louis something along the lines of ‘Later we talk, before kissing’ but the second part can also mean ‘I want the truth’ as its unsure if he touches his lip or chin.

And Louis replies back with this: 

Which would make Harry saying ‘Later we talk before kissing’ more reliable due to Louis’ answer. 

Still complete cuties here.


Again during an interview, Louis seems to rub his hands together which research says could mean the letter ‘H’. In this case, H for Harry; or H was also a nickname that Louis could have had for Harry.

He then taps his chest twice again (meaning ‘Mine’) except he uses his fist more which may take away its meaning, but they could of changed it up more so that the signing was more personal to each other. 


Now during one of their songs on the TMH tour, Louis and Harry were stood next to each other on the stage. Louis glances at Harry for a moment to get his attention before crossing his fingers and then placing his hand back onto his microphone stand, fingers still crossed. 

Now some say that this means ‘Hope’ however others say because of how Louis did it, it means ‘Forever’ so I guess its your own choice to decide which one you want it to mean. 


Then we have this:

Now everyone knows that in sign language this sign with another person means ‘Lover’/ ‘Make Love’.

So really there is nothing much to say about this apart from the fact that it is adorable as fuck and the most cliche thing that a pair of platonic best friends could do together. 


No we are on to the famous ‘Thumbs up’ sign that they both constantly used to give each other on stage, during interviews and at any moment they were happy, having fun or in each others company. Now I researched this and found that it meant different to what the ‘Lovers’ sign that’s above. Many use the thumbs up sign as a way of saying good or as a positive attitude towards things like ‘I am good’ or ‘This is fun’ etc; except it also has another meaning. More discreetly, this sign can mean ‘I love you’ or ‘Love’ but is different from ‘Lover’ and ‘Make love’ so the two signs should not get mixed up. 

Keep reading

♡ sweet asks ♡

vanilla - how has your week been?

chocolate - what do you crave right now?

red velvet - what type of music do you like?

ice cream - if you were an animal, what kind would you be?

cake - describe your ideal location

mocha - what are three things that make you feel warm inside?

frosting - describe your appearance

marshmallow - do you sleep with plushies? if so, which are your favorites?

sorbet - describe an ideal summer day

butterscotch - describe an ideal autumn day

caramel - describe an ideal winter day

pecan - describe an ideal spring day

mint - what’s new in your life?

pie - “home is where…”

macaroon - list three things you feel inspired to do

fuck it i’m making my own

send an ask with a pairing and a number and I’ll write a flash fic! because i am bored of the current ones. Categorized by numbers for easy access, so 1-10 is cute fun fluff, 11-20 is angst, 21-30 is hurt/comfort, if you want to go in blind you might as well ask random numbers. 


Cute Fun Fluff numbers

1. I’m lost, you’re lost, want to walk with me for a while? 

2. “HOLY FUCK YOU CAN’T JUST JUMP IN FRONT OF SOMEONE’S CAR LIKE THAT AND NOW YOU’RE DYING HOLY SHIT WHAT DO I DO??” “It’s okay, chill, I’m immortal, please stop crying”

3. “i’m not a spy…what if you’re the spy? oh no what if you ARE the spy? i shouldn’t even be talking to you, you dirty spy!” (In fact, we are both secretly spies and no one knows.) 

4. WAS THAT A SHARK OR A MERMAID/MERMAN IDK BUT I’M SCARED NOW

5. “ICED MOCHA CHAI!” *both reach for the same drink, Romance ensues*

6. “you slapped my ex for me thank you what is your name”

7. “Star wars!” “Star Trek!” “Noooo!” “Yeees!” 

8. “did your dog just…eat my pants?” “…yes?”

9. where the fuck is my phone oh you found it thank you oh shit you’re really hot and now i don’t want to ask for it back because that’s really intimidating but i really need my phone shit

10. where am i? heaven? oh, wait, i just got blackout drunk and passed out and i forgot you were so pretty for a second and thought you were an angel

Hello Angst numbers

11. FUCK YOU ASSHOLE HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO ME

12. “did..you just…stab me…” “yes” “why?”

13. you are bleeding from the mouth why are you doing that holy shit are those sleeping pills did you just take an entire bottle of sleeping pills what the fuck happened are you okay no you’re not you’re bleeding holy fuck i need to call 911

14. HAPPY BIRTHDAY (and yes, it can go just as badly as you might expect. send the name lucifer if you want some real, crushing angst)

15.  where were you this late? why do you have a black eye?

16. “i just got a phone call and someone threatened to kill everyone else i ever loved if i don’t shoot you in the head tonight…i’m so sorry”

17. don’t drink and drive. don’t. especially not in the rain. or the snow. just…don’t drink and drive. 

18. we eloped a couple years ago and now you have amnesia and don’t remember me at all oh no and you want to see your relative, who swore they would "make you regret it” next time you set foot in their house/died recently but you don’t remember, shit shit shit, and you want to call the cops because i kidnapped you or something, shiiiit, what the fuck do i do??

19. one of you was tortured and is working through ptsd and the other has no idea until…well, now

20. drugs are bad. don’t do drugs. but one of you does, and the other one finds out. 

Hurt/Comfort numbers

21. I’m an EMT, you’re really hot but also bleeding out, car crashes suck, and you want my number and why is this your priority right now you’re literally passing out and possibly dying

22. superhero suffers a mishap and is injured (either burned badly or deformed or something you generally see in supervillain backstories) and is found by supervillain, but supervillain isn’t such an asshole as you might expect because hey that happened to me and no one even offered a kind word i might as well do something

23. immortality sucks. self harm/attempted suicide might be an issue in this one. just a heads up. will tag it if it comes up tho

24. childhood au; you tripped and skinned your knee, but i know where the nurse’s office is–oh darn she isn’t in what do i do what do i do? oh you want a bandaid uhhh i think you have to wash the cut off first but uh here this one has a dinosaur on it if you want it

25. mysterious stranger falls out of the sky and lands in your trash bins, then wants not to go to the hospital because fuck it it’s just a broken bone it’ll mend and anyway i don’t have any money

26. on the run, has a bad mishap probably with the government, runs away, shows up on your doorstep out of the blue with a “please help me i think i’m dying” and collapses. wyd

27. i just got out of azkaban and it wasn’t pretty

28. needles and thread. can go many directions at once. (think stitching wounds. think stitching lips. think piercings.)

29. running away from an abusive relationship/household/situation, help please?

30. they beat you up because you owe them money but i’ll help you, here, have an icepack also how much do you need 

random music asks
  • 1: name 11 bands you listen to regularly
  • 2: is there a band with only one song you like?
  • 3: what is a very unpopular band you're into? tell a little bit about them
  • 4: name a great band you recently discovered
  • 5: which rare recording of any band would you like to possess?
  • 6: is there an artist whose solo career you prefer over their work with their band(s)?
  • 7: which is you favourite side project by any band member?
  • 8: which song do you think should everybody listen to at least once in their lives?
  • 9: explain why your favourite song is your favourite song
  • 10: any bands you got into after seeing them live?
  • 11: any bands your friends got you into?
  • 12: a band which is the only band from their genre you like?
  • 13: an unpopular opinion on which is your favourite song by any band?
  • 14: _th favourite song by your _th favourite band?
  • 15: _th favourite album by your _th favourite band?
  • 16: favourite album artwork?
  • 17: favourite booklet design?
  • 18: favourite concept album?
  • 19: which bands would you like to see live one day?
  • 20: which was the longest concert you ever attended?
  • 21: a musician whose music you enjoy but whom you dislike as a person or vice versa?
  • 22: list 10 favourite songs by your top 10 bands (each)
  • 23: favourite singer (only for voice?) and favourite drummer/guitarist/bassist (only for playing their instrument)
  • 24: favourite songwriter/lyric writer
  • 25: somebody you absolutely adore as both a musician and a person