please tell me if it doesn't work so i can go and cry in a corner

Tied Down

Requested: Yes by the lovely @yehpyahp

can i get 61, 67 and 100 with bucky please? you’re writing is so incredible by the way and i love reading your work x

Warnings: Cursing, depression. Sexual themes.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X Reader

Summary: Bucky doesn't believe he’s good enough for you and that thought pushes him to hurt you before you can hurt him. At least that’s what he told himself. Inside he feared the winter solider would come back and he didn't trust himself enough to stay. 

Prompt 61-  “You broke up with me! Remember?”

Prompt 67- “You can’t do this!”

Prompt 100- “I did it for your protection!”

Authors Note: Thanks for your request! Hope you like it! Also…..THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE COMPLIMENT! I’M CRYING! I am actually very proud of this one. Not edited because I’m me. 

Btw the song lyrics I used are ‘Tied Down by Jaymes Young.’ Highkey recommend his music..exspecialy dark magic.


Originally posted by caps-bucky


Bucky was a flight risk. You always knew this. You had excepted that one day you would get burned but you couldn’t deny the part of your soul that ached for him. For his touch, his laugh, his love. When he loved it was with his whole heart, his entire being. You felt secure and safe in his arms even in times of war and crisis. You felt loved and at home because Bucky was your home. 

When you first met you were instantly pulled into his waves of chaos, like an anchor you drowned. You made it your mission to bring the old Bucky out of him. The Bucky, Steve had told you about. You succeeded but not before giving him a part of your heart. 

That’s why the letter you were holding in your fragile hand hurt so much.

Dear (y/n),

I can’t do this anymore. I can not just lay in bed holding you close and forget about the monster I am. I know you tell me all the time it wasn’t me, but it was and I know one day you will wake up to realize this. That’s why I can not keep this up. I can’t allow myself to get hurt and I can’t hurt you. It’s only a matter of time before that part of me comes back and I will NOT allow you to be there when he does. I’m sorry but we are over. 

Tears flowed from your (y/e/c) like raindrops from the sky. The sobs leaving your mouth shook your body and the world seemed to crumble apart. You had always known one day you would get burned but you didn’t expect an inferno to erupt inside your heart. You hadn’t expected the flames to tear you down, but they did. 

The time didn’t stop and the world went on but, not for you, not without him. Your mind trapped you in the small room Bucky and you had once shared. The white sheets became your sanctuary and you isolated yourself from the world. 

Hours, days, weeks had passed but you didn’t move. It was unhealthy you knew and if it wasn’t for Wanda and Steve leaving small meals outside your door you didn’t really know how you would have been. 

It was now almost three weeks you had stayed within the four walls and you had planned to stay there until you heard a knock on your door. 

“Go away.”

The words left your dry throat in a small voice. The door opened despite your protest and in walked Wanda. 

“You need to get up (y/n).”

Her accented voice rang through your ears and you turned away from her, your head now facing the window looking out to see a light drizzle covering the street below you.

“Don’t ignore me. It’s been weeks this isn’t healthy. He wouldn’t have wanted this.”

Quickly turning to face her you stood.

“I don’t care what he would want! He left me, Wanda! Without even a proper goodbye.” 

You picked up the small piece of paper of your nightstand, the one that shattered you.

“He couldn’t even tell me in person! He left a bloody piece of paper.”

Wanda looked straight into your eyes and saw your broken soul. Gently she grabbed the piece of paper from your hand with and with a sigh she sat you down. 

“Let’s go out tonight. Let’s have one night free of Bucky thoughts. Alright?”

“I can’t.”

Your voice was soft and cracking at the thought of forgetting Bucky. You couldn’t imagine life without him, even the memory of him no matter how painful it was.

“You can and you will. It’s not forever (y/n). You are allowed to have fun.”

She was right and it brought your rage to the surface. How was this fair? He gets to just leave you broken and live his life. Standing you looked in the mirror and saw your reflection. Broken. For once you didn’t want to feel broken. 

“I-I don’t have anything to wear.”

Wanda smiled widely and stood.

“Don’t worry about that. I’ve got you covered.”

With a raise of your eyebrow, Wanda pulled you out of your room and into hers where Natasha stood with a wide smile. 

“It’s about time. I miss our little firecracker.”

Natasha said with an amused tone causing you to roll your eyes.

“Sit. Let us get to work.”

Wanda demanded, pushing you gently into a chair situated in the corner of the room. About an hour passes as the girls started to swarm you, makeup was being applied to your sensitive skin and your hair was being brushed out. 

“When was the last time you got ready (y/n)?”

With a light shrug, you answered.

“I took a shower this morning.”

There was a slight silence as the girls went back to work. Natasha walked to the small closet in the corner and pulled out a black dress.

“Put this on.”

Deciding not to argue you did just that and looked in the mirror. You couldn’t help but grin at what you saw. You saw the old you, the you that smiled at the stupidest things and made snarky remarks. The you everyone called firecracker because that’s what you were. Bright, loud, and colorful. All the best qualities about yourself seemed to vanish when he did and now you felt like they were coming back. 

Your (y/h/c) was down in light waves and the makeup on your face was light but highlighted all your best features. The black dress hugged your body perfectly. It was sexy but also conservative.  With a deep breath, you turned to face the girls.

“Let’s go.”

With more wide grins and eager nodded the three of you headed out to a club near the tower. It was a decent sized club not too large yet not so small you were sardines. 

The first thing you did when you entered the club was go to the bar. If anything was going to make this night tolerable, alcohol was that. The first drink you ordered was gone in mere minutes and you had another in your hand. Sitting on one of the old bar stools you looked over at Wanda and Nat on the dance floor. You couldn’t help but let a smile graze your face as you watched them.

“Care to dance?”

Turning around you saw a man with his hand outstretched to you. He was fairly good-looking, light brown hair and green eyes adorned his tan face. After a short internal debate, you took his hand. Tonight was your night to have fun, to forget. 

The man led you to the dance floor and with the alcohol kicking in you quickly pressed your back against his front and let your hips sway. His hands came and held your waist the two of you coming into a steady pace. All the thoughts in the world were leaving your mind and you were having a good time until the song changed.

These days the lovers trade their places
Dancing all around each other’s chairs
I can see the numbness on their faces
Jealousy fills up their hearts in pairs
So please could I be selfish with your body?

‘Cause I don’t think I could share you with nobody

The world came back into focus quickly and you felt your head start to spin, bile rose in your throat and you had to stop dancing to steady yourself.

Please. Not this song. 

Oh when I have you
I’m gonna brand you with my lips
And all of the world will know that you’re mine now
We’ll never lose faith
'Cause we’ll never forget this taste

My love has the power to keep you tied down

The reality of your current position became aware and you tried to pry the man’s grip off your hips. This was your and Buckys song and every pain you had felt was coming back. Guilt ran through your bones despite the fact you had nothing to be guilty for.

“P-please. I can’t.”

“Oh come on sweetheart.”

He pulled you closer to him, his lips connecting with your neck. Tears fogged your eyes and you felt dizzy.

Ohh, I’ll get you tied down, tied down
Ohh ill get you tied down, tied down

Frantic now you wiggled against him, your nails digging into his hands. He quickly moved his grip off your waist and looked at the blood dripping from his hands. 

“What the hell is your problem? Bitch!”

“Hey! Do not talk to her like that!”

Wiping your head around at the new but familiar voice you saw him. His black hair hanging just below his chin, his blue eyes had a flame of rage behind them and he approached the man you had just been dancing with. His metal and flesh hand grabbed the man by his collar and lifted him slightly off the ground.

“You don’t talk to a lady like that!”

Ohh, late at night you’ll hear the screaming echo
But we all pretend we never heard the cries in the daytime
Don’t you worry my touch won’t leave you hollow
I’m never going to let you change your mind

The world was suddenly becoming too much. Wobbling out of the room you took a seat in the empty hallway, leaning against the wall. You ran a hand through your hair and tried to steady your breathing. 

Oh, when I have you
I’m gonna brand you with my lips
And all of the world will know that you’re mine now
We’ll never lose faith
'Cause we’ll never forget this taste
My love has the power to keep your tied down

“(Y/n)?” 

Looking to your left you saw him. Perfect as always he stared at you with concern which only enraged you. 

“You can’t do this!”

“Do what?”

“You can’t just leave me and then show up out of the blue and save me. You can’t look at me like that!”

“I just wanted to check on you. Good thing I did, your taste in men has definitely gone downhill.”

He grumbled the last worlds and you saw red. How dare he? You had the right to do whatever you wanted to with whoever.

“You broke up with me! Remeber?”

“I did it for your protection! Not so you could get drunk and dance with random douchebags.”

“Did it for my protection? Please don’t fool yourself Bucky! You were scared so you ran away. Let me ask you something. If you were so afraid of having feelings and of me then why did you stay? Why did you pull me close? You messed with my head!”

Ohh, I’ll get you tied down, tied down
Ohh, I’ll get you tied down, tied down
Ohh, I’ll get you tied down, tied, ohh
Ohh, I’ll get you tied down, tied down

“You only wanted to fix me (y/n)! That’s all I was to you a project. You didn’t care about me.”

“Is that truly what you think! You taught me how to love Bucky. You showed me how utterly amazing it feels to have someone care about you and then you just left and you taught me what its like to stay up till midnight crying my eyes out, you taught me heartbreak. If I only wanted to fix you I wouldn’t have cared!”

“(Y/n). I-”

“I love you.”

You stated firmly, emotion dripping off your tongue and into your words.

“With every piece of my shattered heart but if that isn’t enough for you then let me go. Not over some piece of paper and a half-assed note you left last minute. Look me in the eye and tell me. If I can’t have your heart then you don’t get mine. That isn’t how it works. Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t love me. Let me go Bucky.”

“I can’t.”

And with that his lips were against yours, sparks radiated your body. His strong hand gripped your hips roughly and his metal hand caused chills to erupt on your skin. You moved your hands into his hair and toughed lightly causing a groan to come from him. The kiss was filled with passion and an unspoken love. 

Don’t be afraid to leave your mark
Give me the scars to remind me
Just how good you are (how good you are)
And if your faith turns into to dark
Pull me closer and know
That it’s enough to keep you tied down

You pulled him closer to you and moved your hands to the bottom of his shirt, his tongue licked your bottom lip begging for an entrance and you complied. You jumped up and wrapped your legs around his waist and he pushed you up against the wall his lips moving to your neck, a soft moan left your lips and you through your head back in ecstasy. 

Everything was drawing you in. His touch, his taste, his smell. Every fiber of your being craved him as his did for you. The world was fading away and you two were all that mattered. The lights flickered in the narrow hallway you two occupied and he pulled away softly. 

His deep blue eyes locked with yours and you saw the lust and passion that took over his irises. 

“I love you (y/n). I don’t want to be away from you any longer. I can’t. I need you, crave you. I’m so sorry. I should have never left. I. Am. So. Sorry.”

“Don’t ever leave me again James.”

“Never. I love you.”

You pushed your lips to his again and the sparks came back, filling the small space once more. In those couple of moments, your world was being pieced back together and you felt whole again.

Ohh, I’ll get you tied down, tied down
Ohh, I’ll get you tied down, tied down
Ohh, I’ll get you tied down, tied down
Ohh, I’ll get you tied down, tied down
Tied down
Ohh


Tag List:

@petah-parkah-and-potahtas  @lesfleurslily @xxladybananaxx  @hp-world-imagines @messrs-howler

The Curse of the Dragon Witch Part XII: Macbeth

Macbeth is bad luck in the theater.
Warnings: car accident, mention of injury?, death, vomiting, animal death… I think I got everything, let me know if I missed something you need. Let me reiterate that: death. Please do not read this if that’s going to be too much of a trigger for you. Keep yourself safe. I do promise it’ll all work out in the end. And I mean that. Just… right now it’s not.

Tag list is at the bottom. Please send me an ask or DM me if you want to be added to it. I often lose track of people who comment. 

Feedback and screaming are all welcome. It was difficult to think of a fear for Roman… I hope I did an adequate job. But hey, I’m not too sick to write so here we are.

You can read this chapter on AO3 if you wish, or catch on this fic from the beginning on AO3. 


Roman was choking, his throat and lungs filling rapidly with a burning sensation, some kind of liquid. He tried to cough but only found himself choking more, sputtering, swallowing more of the stuff. There was no air to breathe, no air with which to scream. A massive heat surrounded him from all angles, making him feel weak, sleepy. He tried to blink but couldn’t tell if he had; there was only darkness, everywhere, darkness.

He began to see something swimming in his vision; a light brown platform, surrounded by thick velvet curtains. A stage? It began to become sharper around the edges as Roman began to lose consciousness, drifting into a nightmare.

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anonymous asked:

Could you pretty please write a fic about Eren thinking something is happening between Mikasa and Armin. He sees then sneaking off together, Armin going in and out of her room, Armin holding Mikasas hand. He sees it all, it bothers him and he doesn't understand why, shouldn't he be happy for them. Instead he wants to yell at them, maybe punch Armin and cry. All that's really happening is Armin is asking Mikasa for advice on how to woo Annie and Armin listening to Mikasa talk about Eren.

Latent

Pairing: Very lightly implied if you have a microscope Eren/Mikasa; light mentions of Armin/Annie  || Rating: K  || Words: 872

Warnings: none

A/N: Thank you for the request!! I always love me some Armin/Annie :3 Also, thank you to all who are sending me requests! Some are turning out to be longer than others, so please know I am definitely working on them :)

This is ridiculous. Wrong, and utterly ridiculous. He’s never minded business that wasn’t his own and has longed since learned to respect the privacy of others. But this - whatever it is between them - has left him confused, distracted, and preoccupied with thoughts and questions.

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Imagine- Andy and you get into a stupid argument that results in a temporary break. (Imagine #4)

    It’s been about two weeks since the fight, You both still check up on one another but that's been about the extent of it. You’re still completely heartbroken over the incident, But you’d never let Andy know that.

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I don't even know your name.
  • *based off the song by Shawn Mendes*
  • *I kinda cringe at this but it's worth a shot*
  • I saw you standing there, My mind was taken over by your brown eyes that somehow shined in the dim room.
  • I dont know if I was drunk or not, I didn't remember much from that day.
  • It was long before I saw you sit down. Alone.
  • I would have walked up to You, Would have talked to you, I would have done anything to see them eyes again.
  • But I was pulled back by Pj, He asked what drink i wanted, I replied to him quickly without thinking.
  • As I turned around you weren't on the sofa any more, I searched the room for you, only to see you beside Me, ordering from the bartender.
  • _______
  • I said hi and you replied with a slightly drunk smile, But I could tell it was genuine.
  • "Hey", You said, taking a sip of your drink.
  • "How are You?", I asked, trying to make small talk.
  • "I'm good now that I have someone to talk to", You smiled.
  • I remember, we talked for a few hours, I made a stupid joke and you laughed at it, Your smile was somehow beautiful.
  • We ordered more drinks, both of us becoming even more intoxicated.
  • You led me to the bathroom, your hand in mine.
  • You pinned me against the wall, Gently somehow, You were so gentle with everything you did, wether that was with the way you spoke or the way you touched Me, You were always so gentle.
  • You had your lips against mine, my hands tugging at your shirt.
  • It was a drunken mess but it felt right, I knew I wouldn t regret it.
  • We didn't take it far, we both knew that was going too fast.
  • I led you away, we smiled at eachother, My head hurt from the amount of alcohol I had consumed but it didnt matter when you smiled at me and the pain was gone.
  • We saw a group of people, you looked like you were trying to hide from Them, they had cameras, I understood.
  • But of course they saw you, we both saw them walk up to us and you quickly scribbled on a piece of paper, I took it without looking at it.
  • And then you were gone, Taken with the crowd.
  • _________
  • Turns out you were a celebrity I had never heard of.
  • I walked- no, I staggered home and almost immediately collapsed on my bed, The alcohol I had drunk that night was too much.
  • I forgot to check that piece of paper.
  • I think I dreamt about You, I don't remember properly.
  • I only remember waking up, In the dream, I only saw a tall silhouette, somehow the dark eyes glowed and it's the only feature i could see.
  • Nothing happened, I was propped on my elbows, just watching the shadows and it was doing the same.
  • Then I woke up.
  • Everything was so quiet and lifeless, my head hurt so much and my throat was dry, I went to the kitchen and downed a few pain killers with water.
  • I remember staggering to the kitchen and putting my clothes into the washing machine, a piece of paper fell out of the pocket of my jeans, I checked it and saw a number written messily on it.
  • Someone picked up the call on the third ring.
  • "Hello?", They said, they're voice hoarse.
  • "Who is this?"
  • "You called Me.."
  • "I found your number on a piece of paper in my jeans"
  • "Ah, You", I could hear your grin, "How are You?"
  • "You still haven't told me your name"
  • "That doesn't matter right now"
  • "But-"
  • "We made out last night"
  • "Oh...um"
  • "Don't worry, It was great"
  • _____
  • You were always on my mind, I couldn't  sleep properly, couldn't eat, I could barely form a sentence.
  • It had it been a few days, I hadn t called you, I was too shy.
  • I got through work somehow, altough I was constantly drawing you on my notebook, I would get weird looks from my co-workers but I didn't really care, How could I care about other people when you were on my mind?
  • "Why do you keep drawing that one random person?", Pj asked as he say down to eat lunch with Me, of course I left my sandwich untouched.
  • "Um-I, No reason, I just like drawing it", I spluttered, stuffing my notebook into my briefcase and bending the pages slightly.
  • "You know, He looked a bit like someone I keep seeing in magazines", Pj told me.
  • I knew he was talking about you, "W-what's his name?", I asked, desperate to know who you were.
  • "I don't know, I just keep seeing him"
  • I sighed without replying.
  • "What?"
  • "Nothing", I said, getting up and leaving.
  • I took my phone out of my pocket and picked the contact I had saved as 'nameless'.
  • _______
  • "Hey, you", You said down the phone, it made me blush, I'll admit that.
  • "Hi, Can you please tell me your name?"
  • "Why would you want to know my name? Names are just sounds we use to label ourselves"
  • "Shut up, you dork", I laughed, I could hear you laughing to.
  • "I dont know your name either actually"
  • "You mean the sound used to label me?", I smirked.
  • "Yes, I dont know the sound that is used to label you"
  • "That sound is Phil"
  • "Nice sound"
  • "Thank you, altough, you should probably thank my parents"
  • "Ah, Yes, the parents, when do I meet them?"
  • "After you tell me your name.....and buy me dinner"
  • "I'll have to wait then"
  • "Why wont you tell me your name?"
  • "I don't know, it's fun to know you're thinking about me"
  • "Seriously?"
  • "Yeah, Its cute"
  • "Shut up!", I laugh down the phone.
  • "Make me"
  • "I will if we meet up"
  • "Sounds like a plan"
  • You told me to meet you at the coffee shop that was just around the corner from me.
  • It wasn't long until you had your lips against mine and my hands travelling up to your hair.
  • The coffee shop was luckily empty, apart from the woman behind the bar that was listening to music through her headphones and couldn't care less that we were making out in the corner.
  • I pushed you away, "I-I still dont know your name", I muttered, Looking into your lustful eyes.
  • You held a finger to my lips, "soon", You whispered softly.
  • _______
  • The morning after tore me apart, The daily newspaper was delivered, I looked through it and suddenly stopped, dropping the paper immediately, Running into my room and grabbing my phone, I was reading the words over and over, They were imprinted into my mind:
  • Dan Howell caught making out in corner of local coffee shop with mystery man.
  • Followed by a picture of us on the green armchair that I remembered as a place of happiness.
  • I didn't even think this sort of stuff would be printed into a newspaper, It wasn't news-worthy.
  • I called you, You answered, The fist thing you said to me was "I'm sorry", Followed by a small sob.
  • "I-Dan.."
  • "Well now you know my name"
  • "Yeah"
  • "I'm sorry", You said again.
  • "Its-It's okay", I replied.
  • "Really?"
  • "Yeah, Dan, It isn't your fault"
  • "Thank you so much"
  • "Its no proble-", I heard shouting coming from your end of the line.
  • I could only hear a few "Dan Howell!"'s and one person shouted, "Who was that man?!"
  • "Shit, They found out where I live"
  • "Dan?"
  • "Ive gotta go"
  • "Dan?", The line went dead.
  • I didn't hear back from you since.
  • ______
  • I hadn t heard from you in at least a week, your calls went voicemail, you didn't reply to my messages.
  • I searched your name, It said you were some sort of ex-band member.
  • It made sense.
  • I had no idea where to start looking, I didn't know where to go, who to talk to.
  • I called again, It went to voicemail, again.
  • I spent hours everyday, just wandering up streets, Looking  for any sign of you, I found nothing.
  • I searched through magazines, nothing.
  • Nothing.
  • I couldn't take it, I sat in bed, tugging at my hair, Craving you and your beautiful smile, your eyes that seemed to brighten my day, your soft voice and kind words, I missed it all.
  • _______
  • Even the lack of the 10 minute phonecalls we had was killing me slowly.
  • I missed your cocky personality.
  • I missed your stupid remarks.
  • I missed your lips.
  • I missed your name.
  • I missed you.
  • If I couldn't sleep, eat or work earlier, I definetly couldn't now, It wasn't good, It wasn't healthy and I didn't know why you were doing it to me.
  • ____
  • I remember when I found you, I should have been happy but you were shaking, You were crying, you were curled into a ball in the corner of your living room, your for head resting on your knees.
  • You called me, told me the address, I got in the back, past the paparazzi, You told me you couldn't take it anymore, you wanted to be normal, you did want people chasing you around with cameras, making everthing you do public.
  • And I understood.
  • I sat down next to you and wrapped my arms around you, I felt your body relax and I laid your head on my lap, stroking your hair in a comforting manner.
  • You were breaking and I was trying to fix you, bit by bit.
  • It was slow, but it worked.
  • I snuk you through the back of your house, you had a small bag of only important belongings, I held your hand, Running my thumb over he back of it.
  • We walked back to my flat, I let you sleep, you needed it, I saw the bags under your eyes and the way your hands shook slightly.
  • I got in bed beside you and you immediately wrapped your arms and legs around me and nuzzled your head into my chest.
  • I hugged you back, It was comforting for the both of us.
  • "Thank you", I heard you whisper, And you hugged me a little tighter, I stoked your hair.
  • "No Thank you", I whispered back.
  • ________
  • We had been together for 2 years and engaged for 3  months.
  • remember when I proposed.
  • We went on holiday, to Paris.
  • I brought you onto the Eiffel Tower, I giggled when you covered your eyes, you were scared of the height.
  • I told you not to worry, I held both of your hands and told you I was there for you and wouldn t let you fall, I would never let you fall.
  • You smiled at me and kissed my cheek.
  • It was such a beautiful view, you were looking out the window when I laced my hand in yours and kissed it.
  • I got down on one knee and saw your lips stretch into a smile.
  • I pulled out the ring and uttered the words I had been wanting to say since I laid eyes on you.
  • "Will you marry me"
  • You said yes, You said yes and slipped the ring onto your finger, you pulled me into a kiss, cupping my cheeks, I held your waist gently.
  • It was beautiful.
  • ______
  • The wedding was even better somehow.
  • Our families both came together, our friends joined to.
  • No one disturbed the wedding.
  • We said "I do"
  • We told eachother that we Loved one another.
  • It was all true, every word.
  • ' Till death do us part.
  • I remember the after party, we cut the cake and you smashed some into my face as a joke, I laughed with you and did the same.
  • You held my hand while Pj gave the best man speech.
  • We watched our mother's tear up and our father's hug us with a pat on the back.
  • We were told we were perfect for eachother, 'a match made in heaven'
  • We were.
  • We were told our love was from a movie.
  • It felt like it.
  • We were told to take care of eachother.
  • And we did.
  • For a while.
  • _______
  • I miss you.
  • We were married for 3 years.
  • It was the best fucking three years of my entire life.
  • I remember waking up every morning to the smell do you cooking breakfast.
  • I remember how I would lace my arms around your bare back in the shower and wash your hair.
  • The nights we spent watching movies, a bowl of popcorn in front of us, we normally got too involved in eachother to focus on the movie, Sharing soft kisses.
  • The way we would talk about adoption.
  • That never happened.
  • We planned to travel the world.
  • That never happened.
  • I miss the way you would whisper in my ear at night, you would always say "We're in love, aren't we?"
  • It made me smile and I would kiss you before laying down and letting you rest your head on my chest.
  • I would stroke your hair until you fell asleep and let out soft snores.
  • I remember Christmas, we'd put the tree up together and you would make fun of my wrapping skills.
  • I loved it.
  • I loved you.
  • I love you.
  • Our movie-romance soon ended.
  • You became weaker, you couldn't do much.
  • I had to help you get dressed.
  • I had to help feed you.
  • You couldn't whisper to me at night any more and make me smile.
  • You were in hospital most nights and I wasn't allowed to stay.
  • I would grip the space on the mattress where you used to lay.
  • They never did diagnose you.
  • I guess, Just like your name, It was just a sound to label you.
  • You wouldn't have wanted to know What It was, you really did hate labels.
  • And I love you for that.
  • Rest In peace....Nameless.
  • I love you.
  • __________
  • The end 
  • You can call me a liar but you just witnessed the death of Danisnotonfire.
  • (Sorry not sorry)
  • P.s I wrote this at 12am

batmanandsuperman  asked:

can i request an angsty fic of barba/oc (wife) where maybe she surprises him at work for his birthday or anniversary and it doesn't go as well as she hoped cause Rafael gets snappy and is busy ??? i love angst idk why i didn't request it sooner lol

Yesssss queen! Angst is life!!! As long as there’s a happy ending, I’m down for all the angst. I hope I took this in the right direction. I can never tell if my writing is terrible or if I’m just being too critical. Now let’s set the mood for some romance…kinda.

Originally posted by twenty1-grams

You’d been planning this anniversary for 364 days. This was your first year wedding anniversary. Rafael had been so busy with work lately, you’d decided to do something extra special. Something that said, “I love you now just as much as the day we met.”
In hindsight, it might have been a good idea to check with his secretary before planning a large event in his office. But anniversaries only happen once a year. This was special. It was gonna be sexy, you’d snuck a peek at his schedule to make sure he didn’t have clients this afternoon. You let yourself into the office and stripped down, ready to bare your heart, soul, and everything in between.“

“Gentleman, follow me into my office and we can further discuss the terms of- what the fuck is going on in here?”

You were sat, completely naked on his desk with nothing but a few law books covering you when Rafael had entered the office with three of his fellow ADA’s.
You should have thought this through. He slammed the door on the men, excusing himself and striding over to you, tossing his jacket at your body.

“What the hell are you doing?” He snapped, as you scrambled to pull the shirt over your exposed skin.
You can feel tears of embarrassment prickle at the corners of your eyes.

“I was trying to surprise you…” You began, as if that would explain everything.

“At the place I work?” He pinched the bridge of his nose pacing, “I don’t have time for this today, SVU has finally collected enough evidence to prosecute our case and I’m already on a tight schedule.”

It suddenly occurred to you that he didn’t even know what today was. You were just his stupid wife that showed up naked. The shame and humiliation flooded your entire body as you turned away, pulling on your clothes.

“I’m sorry, it was a bad judgement call.” You whispered, thanking all the gods in heaven that your voice didn’t give away your pain.

“You think?” He scoffed but softened a bit. He did his best never to let his bad moods get to you. “Look, honey I had a lot on my plate, and this… I have to show my face around here. Just promise me next time you wanna spice up the sex life, buy some handcuffs or a nurse costume. Don’t strip for my colleagues.”

You nodded, thrusting his jacket back into his arms as you quickly strode past him. The men from earlier, still out front, watching you with morbid curiosity. You turned to see if Raf would even tell you goodbye, but he already had his phone to his ear, checking voicemails.

This had been so stupid. You rushed to the parking garage, getting into your car before finally bursting into tears. You didn’t cry easy, but the humiliation mixed with your husband’s complete lack of knowledge towards the significance of this date broke your heart. You cried in the car for about ten minutes before you noticed a knock at the window. It was Rafael.

“Seriously Raf, go away,” you sniffled, not bothering to look at him.

“Open the door, please?”

You made him wait five whole minutes while you composed yourself before unlocking the car. “What?”

He pressed play on his cell phone:
“Message from 9:55am: Hey baby! Happy anniversary!! I just wanted to say how much I love you. There hasn’t been a moment since I married you that I’m not glad you’re mine. Have a good day Rafi.”

He tossed his phone aside, “you were trying to surprise me for our anniversary… And I was too stupid to notice.”

“You are too stupid,” you glared, still furious and hurt.

“I’m sorry, this case got out of hand and… I’m really sorry.” He didn’t know what else to say to you. He felt like such and ass. It was written all over his face. You wanted to let him feel bad for a few more minutes, but you didn’t have it in you to see the man you love upset.

“You’re an idiot. And I’m even dumber because I love you so much.“you sniffled and watched him visibly relax as he pulled you into his arms.

“Do you know when I first knew I was gonna marry you?” He whispered against your hair, covering your skin with soft kisses now.

“No… When?”

“Your first SVU case, when we met and you were talking to the opposing council, you brought us both coffee. When I asked you why, you told me that it must not be easy fighting for people who sometimes don’t deserve it. And that might take its toll, so everyone deserves a little kindness in their lives.”
You remembered that day. You’d brought everyone coffee on both sides of the legal counsel.
“I knew at that moment,” he whispered. “That I want that kind of woman to be in my life.” You turned your head and pressed your lips together in a long kiss.
“I love you, Rafi.”
“I love you too cariño. Happy anniversary.”


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anonymous asked:

Bucky helping T'challa with his PTSD after seeing his father die in front of him. Bucky doesn't realize how bad it is until they're at some official event and a balloon pops, causing T'challa to nearly flip out.

Everyone in the palace is aware of how poorly James handles his past at times. It’s hard to miss the screams that echo through the corridors. Hard to ignore the man standing, hollowed and silent in the corner of rooms, appearing and disappearing like a ghost. The way fist-sized holes begin to appear in the walls of T’Challa’s quarters. The way he will sit, unmoving, for hours at a time. The way that the Dora Milaje are forced to take knives from him and again.  

Everyone is very aware of James’ problems. 

Everyone is only aware of James’ problems. 

James is far too wrapped up in his own nightmares of blood and bones and endless screams to notice the way T’Challa will sometimes jerk awake next to him. So far removed from anything approaching normalcy for so long, he fails to register that it probably isn’t normal for the King to already be awake, sitting at his desk and staring into space when James’ own nightmares jerk him awake in the silent and closed off hours of the early morning. 

In the end, James makes the same mistake that so many others have before him. He looks at the face that T’Challa presents to the world and takes it as truth. He takes the stoicism, the warrior’s strength, the calm unflappability, and believes it. He buys into the myth of the King who is somehow better than human and misses the man who lies beneath. 

If this is a fairytale and there is a monster, as there must be, it is the lie than anyone is perfect. That there is a single person on this planet who can manage to claw their way through this world without the world clawing back. That a man can be a man and yet somehow also be a god, remaining above and separate from all the blood and tears and laughter that forms us into humans. 

It was never going to last forever. 

The myth cannot stand up to the grating edges of reality, and childish beliefs in the lie of perfection are inevitably decayed. Our heroes and gods are revealed as nothing more or less than painfully, honestly human. 

Like in all good fairytales, It is a child in the end who kills the monster.

They are at a celebration, James doesn’t really know what for, just knows that he followed T’Challa down a large staircase to get here, sitting next to the King on a platform, listening to the steady drone of some official. T’Challa appears to be paying attention, eyes fixed on the speaker, but Bucky lets his wander, scanning carefully over the crowd, always searching for threats. He is looking away when the balloon pops, his brain having just distantly catalogued it as not a threat when a solid weight suddenly slams into his back and he finds himself pinned to the ground. He immediately begins to struggle, belatedly registering T’Challa’s voice telling him to stay down. He goes pliant with his King’s voice in his ear. 

A moment later, the weight is removed, and James rolls over, looking around to see who was hurt, what happened, how he missed an attack. 

Instead, he sees a crowd, wide eyed and beginning to whisper amongst themselves, staring at the King. The King, whose face is ashen as he stares at a small child at the edge of the crowd crying over a string, a bright flash of red still attached to the end, the last remains of a burst balloon. James stands and takes T’Challa’s elbow, guiding the other man off of the stage. Holding him, he can feel the shivers wracking his body. 

When others try to stop them, James gives them the flat dead stare that he knows makes people even more afraid of him and they step away. He guides the King far away from the crowd, not sure where he is going until he gets there, a small hidden courtyard with a single tree and bench, tucked away deep in the palace. He gets T’Challa to sit, then pauses, uncertain. Automatic instincts to protect had guided him this far, but now he didn’t know what to say, what to do.

T’Challa, for his part, stares down at his hands, fingers twisting and untwisting as he continued to shake. James kept a hand on T’Challa’s back, keeping his own breathing slow and steady and watching as the King slowly began to match it.

“I am sorry,” James finally said, making T’Challa look up at him in surprise. “I should have known better,” he says before the other man can speak, “that just because you are not injured here,” he gestures over T’Challa’s body, “doesn’t mean you’re not injured here.” He gently presses his hand to the side of T’Challa’s head. T’Challa shook his head. 

“I’m not… I can’t…. I’m the King,” he says, voice shaking. “I have to be strong. It is my duty to be strong.” 

“There is no strength in allowing yourself to bleed out when you could have asked for help.” James says, “You told me that, once.” T’Challa shook his head again. 

“I can’t,” he repeats. 

“Okay,” James says after a moment of careful thought. “Perhaps then you can let me help you. Just me,” he says, seeing T’Challa open his mouth to protest again “but please. Let me.” 

After a moment’s hesitation, T’Challa gives a single, careful nod. 

After all, gods are fallible and heroes grow old and die. But people, people working together to build something.

They can live forever. 

18 Without hope
  • Endy: ...*slowly strokes back of Koss' head looking at him in worried but rather calm way, still laying next to him*
  • Koss: ...*seems calm, then starts again to tremble during the sleep*
  • Endy: *places hand on his cheek*...ghhh..
  • Endy: ...*wraps arms around him*..
  • Koss: *during the night the runes didn't shine anymore, but now slowly their color is becoming more intense; Koss's temperature is slowly going up, and with that koss is more nervous, moving in the arms of Endy mumbling, but without waking up*
  • Endy: ...ehhh..whatshouldIdo...*whispers placing forehead on Koss' with suffering expression*..
  • Koss: ..fire.. it purifies..it destroys.. whatiswrong.. *mumbles and breathes slowly, like if it would be painful for him*
  • Endy: ...*grabs his shoulder and shakes him gently* Koss..?
  • Koss: ...mmh..*slightly wakes up, then a stab of pain in his chest makes him curling up* Aah! nhhhg-... ah-..
  • Endy: a-ahhh sssshhhiett..... *hugs him tight* ;----;
  • Koss: ..*suddenly the color of the runes, kinda pulsing before, becomes black like pitch* ...e-endy.. nghH.. *clenches teeth and some tears appear on the corners of his closed eyes*...i-ithurts..end-..AhGH!..ah-h..
  • Endy: n-nnghhhh.....*grabs his face staring at him worried as hell*..s-shhhh.. k-keep calm...
  • Koss: ...*gasps and looks at him with such a weak look, and suffering expression, tears slowly slide down on his cheeks wetting endy's hands* ...t-the pearl, endy.. t-the enchantment doesn't work.. because.. I.. ahnng.. I don't have it.. anymore.. *keeps to tremble* ..mychestisinfirenghh..
  • Endy: *looks at him with wide opened teary eyes*..h-how can I stop it, how can I take this pain from you *stutters while tears appear in his eyes* tell mee... TELL MEee!....*claws his shoulders a bit, curling up and crying against his neck*
  • Endy: If-If I could only take it for myself... all of your pain....
  • Koss: ..t-there's nothing you can do.. nhghh.. butIwanted to say.. j-just.. I'msorry.. forallthepainthatI.. gavetoyou...ahh.. I always.. m-made you worry forsomething.. *tenses his body for a moment because of the pain, and clenches teeth trying not to show it* I..shouldbemorecareful..r-right?
  • Endy: *shakes his head nervously* d-don't say such things like it's end.. d-don't.. T-There is always a solution for every problem.. K-Koss... pleaasee...
  • Endy: there is always.. a solution... *closes eyes clenching teeth, tears slides down his face while he slowly sinks claws into his own chest causing it to open a bit*...
  • Koss: ..*grabs his hand and puts it away, then hugs him tight pushing his chest against his* n-no.. y-you really think that I w-would let you do a thing like that.. and.. btw it wouldn't help.. *whispers with no voice, shivering* i-it's not my pearl.. *leans hand on his back and feels his scales* ..we're so different.. it would be useless or make me get worse more fastly..
  • Endy: ....*frowns tensing his shaky hands, feeling completely useless* I won't let you die...n-no matter what... I promissed myself I'll protect you when you need it since the first moment I saw you running into my place, standing at the door of my place, scared that I'm already dead....*stutters through clenched teeth, trembling*
  • Koss: ..*tenses his back many times, before he can find the strength to talk* I-I did nothing that time for you.. I was worried as hell b-but.. you were already good.. i-instead you protected me so many times.. Idon'tknowhowtothankyouforthat.. b-but we had also so many good moments together.. I never deserved you.. *curls up in his arms, trying to hide his suffering face*
  • Endy: you did a lot.. you can't imagine..*tries to calm down wraping arms around the little one*
  • Koss: ..y-yeah.. indeed I don't know.. nghh.. b-but..NGhkk.. *suddenly starts to cough hardly, almost without having time to breath, then turns, trying to sit on the bed and covers his mouth with his hand, starting to cough a lot of blood*
  • Endy: *sits next to him immediately and starts to pat his back*...K-Kos--...*stares at the blood, completely thrilled, saying nothing*..
  • Koss: ..*all his body shakes like a leaf, covering his mouth also with the other hand, and keeping to coughs tries to stands up; his legs are weak and he stumbles and leans against a wall* ..ngggh ohmy.. *looks at the blood with kinda frozen expression, then looks at Endy*
  • Endy: *stands up and goes up to him quickly wrapping arms around*..fuck.. it's only getting worse and worse....
  • Koss: ..nhhg.. Aaagh.. n-no.. w-whyy.. I'mfine.. gnh.. *koss is burning, shivering because of the fever* ..sofine.. fireishelping.. *slowly flop down, leaving on the wall a trail of blood*
  • Endy: *kneels on the floor taking him in his arms, trembling, speechless with tears dripping down on Koss' face *...
  • Endy: *moves Koss' upper body on his lap bending above, totally powerless*..
  • Endy: ...don't leave me...
  • Endy: ...please...*bursts into tears resting frowned forehead on Koss'* Don't leave me.. you're the only one I can still call my brother... http://i.imgur.com/TffkNbW.png remember...?
  • Koss: ...nghhh.. aa... *snuggles on his lap, while a lot of tears slide down on his cheeks* ..I-I don't want to leave you.. *claws his back, hugging him, while memories are wrapped in a dense fog of pain*..ah-nd.. you are a brother for me as well.. thebestoneever.. *closes eyes full of tears, feeling the taste of his own blood*
  • Endy: p-please don't close your eyes..s-stay with me.. Koss.... pleasee...*grabs his face*
  • Koss: ...*whispers slowly*..I-I'msorry....
  • Endy: ...*suddenly hugs him tight, feeling Koss' body weak almost like a marionette, presses him against his chest*..Don't leave me!.....DON'T LEAVE ME! *trembles screaming through the clenched teeth*..
Heartbroke Part 2 - Requested (Ashton)

Hey, so im not sure who but a couple of people re-blogged part one asking for a second so here it is, if you haven’t read part one you can find it here, ENJOY!!!!

*Can I come for Billy at twelve? X* your heart cracks a little more as you read the message from Ashton. You hate it, talking about what time he can collect his own child, you hate not having him in bed in the morning, you hate not getting random messages, you hate everything about it, everything about this flat, this situation, everything is wrong. And you’re broken, you don’t show it, not to anyone, you smile and tell them you’re great, that you and Ashton are okay for Billy, that being a single mum isn’t that bad, but it’s all bull shit, and the tears when you climb in the empty bed every night prove it.

*Yeah, pick him up from your mums* you hit send and call to sort things with Anne, for Billy to be at hers when Ashton wants him so you don’t have to see him.

Every time he texts you, calls you, you hear his name, Billy tells you about him, every time you glance at the pictures of him and Billy around the flat you break a little more, day by day losing more of yourself in you never ending broken heart.

*I was hoping to see you, I really need to see you, just a couple of minutes, to know you’re okay* his reply comes quick and your breath catches in your throat.

*Not today* and then you throw your phone onto the sofa before picking Billy up.

———

‘Thanks for doing this Anne. I’m really sorry I’ve put you in this position’ you apologise for the millionth time since it happened, she shakes her head as she hands Billy over to Harry on the floor.

'Stop apologising, I’m not stuck in the middle, I know he was wrong, and I’m gonna help you however I can’ she explain, you nod a little before giving her a hug.

'He’s staying with Ash tonight, and he is taking him into nursery tomorrow, thanks again’ you tell her, as you both walk to the front door. You open it to see Ashton, you freeze. You haven’t seen him in three weeks, his hair is normal, the bandana around his head making it look like it has a style when in actual fact it’s just out grown. He seems good, great, normal, and you’re not sure whether this sound hurt or make you feel a little better but it does neither, because your frozen, you know you have stopped breathing, your breath caught in your throat.

'See you later Anne’ you words have come without you thinking about them, your voice back to the normal cover up, and go step down out of the door, Ashton steps to the side a little and you glance down at the keys in your hand as you walk to your car.

'Wait, I wanted to catch you’ Ashton’s voice follows you sounding rushed and it now you notice, now when you turn to him you notice the change, his voice is broken, his eyes dull, he looks just like Ashton until you look into his eyes and you mean really look in his eyes, and you see it nothing.

'I know you don’t want to see me but your my wife, just please, give me five minutes to talk’ you want to say no, your head is screaming no but your heart is telling you to follow him to the ends of the earth, and then you notice Harry, Lauren and Billy standing in the down stairs window watching as Anne staying watching from the front door and you know you can’t say it.

'Take as long as you need’ Anne calls, Ashton doesn’t even turn to his mum as he shouts thanks, his eyes glued to yours. And you nod, it’s hardly a nod really and if he wasn’t staring at you he probably would have missed it and you probably would have had time to change your mind before the smile fills his face.

————-

'I don’t know what to say, no that’s wrong, I have loads to say, I guess I don’t know where to start’ Ashton speaks as you both walk through the empty street.

'How about why?’ Your voice is weak, but you don’t care, it’s only Ashton no and he deserves to know how much he had fucked you up. You can’t bring yourself to look his straight in so only know he is nodding from the corner if your eye.

'We could start there, if I had an answer, but I don’t, I don’t have the faintest idea why I did it, I was happy with you, I am happy with you, I wasn’t lonely, I wasn’t desperate for attention, I wasn’t looking for it, so I dunno is the answer, I really don’t’ he rambles one but his words seem to only hurt more.

'Then you just don't….didn’t care, because that’s the only reason I can think of’ your voice is becoming stronger, maybe because you have realised you can’t rely on him to make you stings, because no matter what his answers they aren’t gonna help you.

'That’s not true, that’s never been true, never, I have always loved you, always cared, you…you and Billy are the most important in my life, I would give everything for you two. Don't…don’t ever think that’s why, I…I’ he starts to stutter clearly losing it a little as he steps in front of you.

'Ashton I can’t listen any more, I can’t do this, I wanted to, I dunno I thought answers would maybe help but hearing you say that you have no reason, not even a shitty excuse for breaking up our lives, it’s not helping, it’s just hurting more.’ You explain, still not letting your eyes meet his.

'I was yours Ashton, I was whole heartedly yours, you had me, all of me. I took your band, your fans, your tours and I worked with it. I fit into your life. What that it? I was just easy; I could handle it all so I was just an easy option? You never loved me, am I just another tick on your life list. Be successful, check, get money, check, get a girlfriend, check, marry her, check, have a kid, check and what? Now you’re done, now your list is complete it doesn’t matter how you treat us? Have you got bored of having it all?’ You don’t have control of the words, every possible reason you have given yourself for him hurting you coming out and he looks shocked. His mouth opens like he is gonna say something and he closes it again.

'Th….that’s not true, tha….no, how could you think that?’ He stutters through, his face scrunching together a little although I’m crazy to ask.

'Because you cheated in me, you took a stranger into our home, past out child’s room and into our bed; you fucked a complexly fucking stranger in our bed. You made me fall in love, I fucking love you so much, you are my everything, my whole fucking life is surrounded by you, I live here thousands of miles from my family, and I do everything for you. I’m strong Ashton, I’m fucking strong and you broke me, your ripped me apart’ hour voice is building into more of a shout cry.

'I love you’ his voice is nothing, broken isn’t the word, it’s just nothing and it breaks your heart. 'You can’t love me’ you cry, the tears pouring from your eyes. Your breathing is a mess, your chest aching, your body draining of energy and you just drop to the floor, resting your back against someone’s brick wall fencing. And you take in huge breaths m, your eyes closed as you try to calm yourself. And you do, you start to breath probably.

Soft warmth gently brushes your cheek and you unintentionally nuzzle into his touch. Even after all these years he still sends shivers down your whole body. ‘I love you’ he whispers, ‘and I miss you, I’m so sorry’ his voice trembles a little but you keep your eyes closed your cheek in his hand as his thumb continues to brush your cheek. ‘I’m never going to be able to make it up to you, and I don’t expect you to ever fully forgive me, but I need you and I promise that I will spend the rest of my life proving how much I love you’ he finishes, you don’t have the energy to open your eyes, but you feel his breath on your lips only a second before his brush yours, so softly that he feels like a ghost but when he pulls your face a little closer, before his lips start to move you can’t help but move with him.

'Please come home’ he asks, his lips still so close that they brush yours as he speaks, you open your eyes to meet his deep brown ones and you nod, only slightly but it’s a start. And a start is enough. For now.

From Chelsea