He only 40% paper machine - 60% less than any current politician He’ll get rid of the Queen He never had no one - not even a pig He has the best hair in the UK He hate Donald Trump He a man of the people
Noel Gallagher Who wins? Noel Are u serious?? Absolutely do not fight Noel Gallagher under any circumstances?? The man is 5′8″ but do nt be fooled he will d e s t r o y you
Johnny Marr Who wins? Johnny I mean sure, u look at those matchstick legs and think “I could take this punk!” YOU ARE WRONG. NO ONE CAN TAKE JOHNNY MARR. Also, consider this; if you fight Johnny Marr, I will fight you
Ian Curtis Who wins? Nobody Oh my gosh don’t??? don’t fight Ian what kind of monster are you??
Shaun Ryder and Bez Who wins? They do Yeah you should probably fight them I mean. Bez once lived in a cave in Morocco for two weeks and another time they kidnapped Johnny Marr so you won’t win but it’ll be a good laugh. Do it. Fight the Happy Mondays.
Peter Hook Who wins? Hooky lbr here have you seen those arms You should definitely fight Hook. You will lose but you should absolutely do it please get in at least one good punch to the face
Jarvis Cocker Who wins? You Have you seen Jarvis? He has a 29" waist, you could snap him like a twig and he won’t even fight back, he’d probably just swoon dramatically or throw a glass of wine at you
Lee Mavers Who wins? Lee Lee Mavers is the only man on earth that Noel Gallagher is afraid of. Avoid confrontation by asking him about how we have to harvest music in the cosmic net
Alex Turner Who wins? You Have you seen this nerd? I doubt he’s ever won a fight in his entire life. Easy pickings
Ian McCulloch Who wins? You What would posses you to fight Ian McCulloch who could be evil enough to hurt this child. Kiss him instead and you will emerge the winner
Mile Kane Who wins? Miles I dunno man Miles looks like the kind of guy who’d win a fight like this I mean. If you wanna go there I mean ok but you’re on your own and i’m not responsible for what happens
Bernard Sumner Who wins? Nobody Bernard Sumner has the least punchable face on the planet. Why would you do this to yourself, why would you force yourself to relive in perfect detail for the rest of your life the awful moment when you struck his perfect cherubic features. Don’t do that to yourself. Don’t fight Barney.
Liam Gallagher Who wins? Liam. Why is this even a question I would advise you to avoid fighting Liam if you possibly can, but I realise that it’s inevitable and inexorable. Someday you will have to fight him, and on that day you will lose. Just accept it, it’s easier
Stephen Morris Who wins? Stephen Stephen is the wild card here. Deceptively peaceful looking, you might think you can beat him but. The man collects TANKS. HE WILL RUN YOU OVER. AVOID AT ALL COSTS.
Who wins? No one remembers DO IT. FIGHT EVERYONE IN THE HACIENDA. IT’LL BE AMAZING. NO ONE WILL REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED ANYWAY.
Gillian Gilbert Who wins? Gillian Don’t be ridiculous. Why would you even consider fighting Gillian she is perfect.
Mike Joyce and Andy Rourke Who wins? You Yeah you… you could probably beat Mike Joyce but. Do you want to? The same goes for Andy I mean. Don’t be an asshole man why would you do that
Ian Brown Who wins? Ian I mean you could fight Ian but?? why?? Where Angels play, etc etc. besides, Mani is terrifying, why would you risk Mani’s wrath. Look into those eyes and tell me you would fight Mani. That’s what I thought.
Morrissey Who wins? Everybody Please. Please fight Morrissey oh my gosh just do it please please fight him. You can’t lose, if you fight Morrissey it will be a win for humanity. Fight Morrissey. Fight Morrissey with everything you’ve got, and maybe someday, we will know peace.
okay but im really scared to listen to that new song on morrissey’s album he’s probably gonna say “when you open ur legs marigolds are growing from your crotch” or some pretentious ass shit like that and im Not Mentally Prepared