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We may not get to see each other everyday. I am unable to hold you in my arms every night. But my heart knows that you are the one, and I will never let go.
I’m afraid. I’m afraid that you are going to end up like everyone else that has ever left me. I’m afraid that one day you aren’t going to see the quirky little things I do as endearing or cute, but rather annoying and obnoxious. I’m afraid that you won’t see the things I say and do as you do now, that you will eventually grow annoyed of me. I’m afraid that you’ll see my flaws for what they are, disgusting. I’m afraid that you’ll up and leave just like they all do. please don’t leave me
—  I’m just so goddam afraid
I’m here. I love you. I don’t care if you need to stay up crying all night long, I will stay with you. There’s nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you. I am stronger than Depression and I am braver than Loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me.
I’ll never cry in front of you. I’ll never tell you how I feel. I’ll never wear my heart on my sleeve. I’m not an open book. My walls will always be up and guarded. I won’t tell you how I fight with myself about you, about how I shouldn’t want you, about how you’ll break my heart if I give mine to you. I won’t tell you how my heart constricts at the thought of you leaving me. I’ll never show you how scared I am of this… Of you… Of us. You’re real. You’re everything I want, and nothing is certain. Everything is blurred and we walk on this thin line between reality and fantasy. You’re a dream and a nightmare. I find peace in you when everything else is chaos. I don’t know what this is and that uncertainty scares me but maybe just maybe if I stay around, you will too.
—  2:31 AM thoughts