Some of these will not apply to many people so pls take them with a grain of salt. Also I’ve been collecting these pretty much for the two years I’ve been in college so it’s not a guide, they’re just… random I guess.
Warning - specially tailored for super shy people aka me
There’s a thing called the ‘first week window of endless oportunities’. It’s when groups are still forming and everyone’s desperate to make friends. This is the time to put your best self forward (I’m not saying be fake, just a little extra friendly).
Leave. Your. Door. Open. Do it. Even if you have a roommate. Best way to make friends the first week.
Actually get out of your room. You’re not going to meet many people if you hole up in your room. If you have a tv room or people are watching a movie, I don’t care if you’re not interested in what they’re watching, go.
If you have the balls to go to the room nextdoor and introduce yourself then you probably can skip this section by all means do it!
But if you don’t, going from door to door asking for help with your laundry takes a lot less courage + you will learn how to do laundry. Asking to borrow something (pencil, hair tie, hair dryer) also works.
If you’re staying at a residence hall, ask to sit with people at lunch! Nobody is going to say no, i promise.
Similarly if you see someone alone, ask them to have lunch with you!
Also if you meet someone you get along with, as soon as you can, ask for their number ‘so you can go to the dinning hall together’.
Remember people’s names - it makes people feel like you actually care about them. I know it’s hard but make an effort. Also it just gets annoying when someone asks about your name for the fourth time. Use mnemonics if you have to.
Asking what someone’s major is and where they’re from is standard procedure when you meet them but it doesn’t make for an interesting conversation. Think of other questions!
Make sure to arrive about 10 min early to your classes. There’ll be very few people and so it’ll be easier to strike up a conversation (actually people will probably talk to you without you having to say anything which is g r e a t)
Say yes - as a rule of thumb, your social life should prevail over your academic life the first two weeks. This is the time where you’re not really pressed for time. Say yes to watching movies, say yes to going to lunch, say yes to going to campus events (and even to parties). Obviously don’t do anything that makes you really unconfortable but do try to step out of your comfort zone
Make friends with an upper-classman from your same major. Or at least be on speaking terms. Talk to them on Facebook, ask them about your major, just use any random idc excuse to introduce yourself, it doesn’t really matter how you do it.
Don’t go home every weekend, even if you live close by. You’ll miss out on the best of campus life and some of the most fun memories with your new friends.
Keeping your old friends
If you know you’re going home for the weekend, try to finish most of your assignments/studying and make time to hang out with your friends. Spending time with them is the best way to keep those friendships alive.
But! Don’t worry too much if you can’t come home or make time for your friends too often, you just have to make an effort to text them regularly. It will come naturally if it’s your best friend, but don’t forget to set a reminder to text other close friends at least once every two weeks.
You may think you don’t care now but you will once you come home for the summer.
If any of your friends are staying in your hometown for college, be ready for them to get another friend group. That doesn’t mean they’ve forgotten about you, but don’t be mad if they seem to have a lot more plans that don’t involve you. You can always ask to tag along some time and maybe even become friends with these people!
Some people you’ll just lose contact with. Don’t fret it.
Please print out or buy a calendar that has a whole page for each month. With boxes preferably *shameless plug*. You may think you have it all under control but there’s nothing like being able to see all your due dates, hang out plans and laundry days at a glance. (Also js but the pilot frixion are perfect to use on calendars because they’re erasable).
Hello graphic makers!! You’re probably aware that there is a huge problem on tumblr with whitewashing. Or maybe you’re not. As a predominantly disney-based blogger, the whitewashing I personally see are from the disney fandom, so I’m going to use screencaps from those movies to show you several quick techniques so you’ll see just how easy it is to have your pretty bright and pastel colour palettes and not whitewash characters of colour.
Arophobic Microaggressions: On the Ace Community and Should-Be Allies
Just some technical things, before I start talking: The bulk of the post will be under the cut, and you can find a version in Google Docs here. Non a-specs need to keep comments in the tags or to themselves, as this is an intracommunity issue, and REGs need to keep their hands off: you are not welcome in my community nor on my posts. Please be aware that I do respond to replies, publicly, especially if they’re hateful or in disagreement. If you want a private conversation, message me. If you’d like to read more, check out the Google Doc linked above for recommended reading or my aromanticism page. Thank you to @aro-allo-positivity for his help in editing this post.
In the past couple years, we’ve talked a lot about ace issues - from oppression to validation, and from discussion to action. Activists have campaigned to be included in LGBTQIANP+ organizations and succeeded in being recognized to various degrees. As an aroace woman, I’m very happy to see issues I face being talked about, and action being taken to bring awareness to my orientation. Interacting with acespec bloggers also means I see the problems, and arophobia is a pervasive problem in acespec communities. I’ve talked about it in the past, a bit, but only at surface level. The last post I made about arophobia got 1,700ish notes, and is still getting reblogged today. After making that post, I started noticing more and more arophobia, coming from even large acespec bloggers. I decided to write this post to help people notice arophobic microagressions (the macroaggressions are pretty obvious, generally) and be better allies to the aro community.
Continuation of my Humans Are Weird: Women Edition that no one asked for! What aspect of women in society will this entail? I do not know. Vallion will be telling the story, so let’s see what they have to tell.
Several Earthen moon cycles had passed since the porn incident and Vallion sensed their crew had settled into a dormant state. They did not like the feeling. It had been proven time and time again by the humans that, when things became quiet and calm, it was only a precursor for chaos and mayhem. They shared their thoughts with Lt. Gen. Noriko Murakami and Brig. Gen. Lillian Balogh during their refreshment break, termed “coffee break”, in the mess hall (though coffee could kill a H’hish within an hour if medical action was not taken, humans had no problem consuming the beverage. A H’hish could only consume it if the coffee was decaffeinated). Needless to say, the human women were far from helpful. Instead of easing their doubts and worries, the two multiplied it ten-fold.
The three of them were reclined in their chairs when Vallion brought up the subject. “I feel that something…ominous will happen soon; and I do not believe it is because of that awful movie I and the other H’hish were made to watch by your fellow humans.” Vallion was firm in their belief and gave the two women, one their superior officer and the other their subordinate, a stern, pointed look he often saw other humans direct toward each other in such situations.
“hey there! I don’t know if you’re still doing 1D requests but I was wondering if I could request a Harry Styles imagine?? idk if you know of it but there’s a comedian called michael mcintyre who has a chat show and he has a segment called ‘send to all’ where he sends a mass text from the guests phone and reads the replies - anyways I was wondering if you could do a request where the reader is a celebrity and secretly dating Harry and their relationship gets exposed or something through this?? xx”
Warnings: None?? tiny bit of language and fluff I suppose
Notes: This gif has no relevance it just fucking kills me omg (also I’m so excited to write for harry eek)
“Good luck love, I know you’ll be amazing as always. Thinking of you and can’t wait to finally hold you in my arms tomorrow. H x”
You felt your heart constrict and a buzz fill your body, a smile tugging up on your lips as your eyes scanned over the text your boyfriend had just sent you. Your thumbs hovered anxiously over the keyboard as you mulled over what you should reply with. You had just decided on replying with words teasing him about how he signed his texts just like his tweets when you were interrupted.
summary : these are the contents of nine love letters, sappily written and addressed to you, written by a very lovestruck peter parker. plus a bonus one, because the sap couldn’t resist.
technically a part two to love letters, but you can def read this separately.
author’s note : i didn’t think this through oh my god nine fucKING LETTERS I DID NOT THINK THIS THROUGH i still did it tho enjoy loves
Peter had a kind heart, the softest you’d ever encountered before, and it was the pure goodness inside him that made you begin to fall for him in the first place. He sat beside you, a respectable distance settling between your bodies simply because he was a commendable gentleman and despite everything, despite all his feelings and wants and thoughts about you, he didn’t want you make assumptions about the type of boy he was. He wanted you to continue liking him for quite sometime, which is precisely the reason he was sliding his letters over to you now.
They were his prized possessions from over these past few months, all ten of them, though you’d already had the tenth read to you, and while he had never really expected this moment to come to fruition, he was happy that it was. “So, um, should I read them out loud?” He sifted through the pile to find the first one, and held it out in front of him once it was located. You arranged yourself comfortably on the bed, legs crossed and a ridiculously large smile on your face that Peter couldn’t possibly say no to.
He cleared his throat, ducking his head toward the paper.
Hi. It’s Peter. If you’re reading this, which I highly doubt that you are because why would you be, you know it’s me, Peter, so I probably didn’t need to repeat that like eight times. Whatever. This is pen. I can’t erase it now so I’ll just keep it because the messiness of crossing out all these screwed up sentences would give me anxiety. I figured I’d write this to you because, well, I don’t have the balls to say any of this face to face. I can safely say that such a thing isn’t what I’m ready for. Maybe one day. God, I hope so. I know that if I got a letter like this, I’d be really happy, since it just means that someone was thinking of you and wanted to show it. I hope that one day, if you’re reading this, it makes you happy to know that I think about you. Or maybe you’ll be creeped out. I hope not. That’d be really depressing. Anyways, I just wanted you to know that I think you’re really pretty and I like when you smile at me in school and yeah. You make me happy. Thanks for that. So yeah. Next letter will be way more thoughtful and intricate. I’m new to this writing this. You don’t care. You’re not even reading this. Okay bye.
Peter was flushed with embarrassment by the time he uttered the last two words, looking at his knees and laughing a bit before looking back up at you. He was glad to see that you weren’t giving him a mocking smirk. “That was adorable,” you laughed, rubbing his back encouragingly. “Go on. Please.” You leaned down to kiss his cheek gently, and his face lit up where your lips met his skin. He found the next letter immediately and faced you as he read it.
As promised, I’ve taken it upon myself to gather my thoughts before writing this to you and I hope I am much more coherent than I was in the initial one. I’m trying here. I learned some new words, too. I more of a whiz when it comes to science and mathematics. I’m decent at English, but you probably know that because you sit behind me. You’re amazing in English class. You probably know that just because you’re you and you know how you perform in your own classes. All right, so maybe I’m not as coherent as I thought I was gonna be. Moving on. In English today the teacher passed out different essays to everyone and we had to peer edit each other’s work. I didn’t get your essay but Ned did and I forced him to give it to me. I think he was just putting up a fight because he likes to torture me, which is fine. What are best friends for, right? Well, I read your essay and you’re probably the most wonderful writer I’ve ever read from. Seriously. You have this way with words and it makes me wish I was more of a writer so that I could express the way you make me feel in better sentence structures than the mediocre ones I’m forming at this very second. You’re an excellent writer. If you ever write a book and you have a book signing in some Barnes and Noble in the city or in The Strand, I’m gonna be the first in line, without a doubt. I’ll buy like fifty signed copies. I swear. Write a book. You’d wow everyone, and I think everyone deserves to read a bit of the Y/N Y/L/N’s work. You’d be doing the world a disservice if you didn’t share your talents, but it’s up to you, of course. Just think about it though.
“Aw, Peter,” you cooed, throwing your arms around him and pressing your lips against his quickly, your face burning but your smile infinite. “You’ll be the first to read my book when it’s finished. You’ll be the one it’s dedicated to.” In response, the shy boy nuzzled his nose affectionately against your cheek, at a loss for words because this girl in front of him was everything he could have dreamed of and more.
We were partners in Chemistry today. I’m sorry if I came off like a rude, inconsiderate jerk. I’m gonna be honest right now. I’m shy. You make me shy. I was quiet because if I had talked to you the way that I wanted to, I would’ve be a stupid and stuttering mess and that’s not how I want to talk to you. I know we’ve had conversations before and they’ve been fine but a lot of stuff is different now and whenever we talk I get these butterflies in my stomach that make it hard to think or breathe or talk or look at you or hold things or do basic human tasks. So, that’s why I wouldn’t talk to you. I just didn’t want to look like an idiot in front of the coolest and loveliest girl I know, also known as you. Please don’t hate me. I don’t want you to hate me.
He coughed, embarrassed again, but he didn’t let that deter him from reading you the rest of the letters. He’d never let anything deter him from talking to you again.
I think I’m in over my head. With everything, not just with you. I can’t really mention specifics, not even to you despite the fact that we’re not acquaintances anymore. We’re more like kind of friends, which is great! It means progress. Progress is good. It’s the one good thing lately. I’ll keep it vague. I get beat up every night and then every day I get picked on by Flash. He doesn’t hit or anything- I don’t think he’d be very good at it- but being called Penis Parker all the freaking time takes a toll on a guy, you know? It pretty much sucks. And I can’t tell May what’s going on because I know for a fact that she’ll freak out and everyone knows that if May starts freaking out, I’m gonna freak out even harder, and that’s a scary sight to see. Plus I had to quit Robotics and I really wanted to take the team to the competition this year. I also quit band but I’m not as upset about that. The uniform sucks. It’s too tight. I guess I’m getting muscles. It’s kind of weird since I’ve always been scrawny but I don’t know, it’s interesting enough. I’m not complaining. Maybe you like that in a guy. I don’t know. I try not to think about what you like in a guy because I’m pretty sure your dream dude won’t be anything like me. It’s fine. I’m happy admiring from afar. I like you a lot. I’m good with just being friends if that’s your wish. I don’t know why I’m telling you all these things that I am, but I feel like if you were really here and watching me write this, if you could read this, you’d listen and you’d understand. You always listen, even when I’m rambling, even though we don’t talk much.
When he stopped talking and reached for the next letter, taking the faded blue piece of paper from his stack, he knew the feeling pooling inside his stomach was nothing short of elation. He was right, as he often was. You listened. You did.
Today, you punched Flash in the nose. No one saw it coming. But I think I fell in love with you right then and there. Or at least, I fell deeper in like with you. He called me Penis Parker again and you grabbed his shoulder and yanked him back, you told him to leave me be and he said that if you were sticking up for a nobody like me, you were nothing better. He was wrong. You’re a thousand times better. You stuck up for me and I’ll never be able to repay you for that. You just looked at me and I’ve never seen you look so fiery or so livid but you did and you raised your fist and you punched him and he was bleeding and you didn’t stop to help him, you grabbed my arm and you marched me away from them. No one has ever done something like that for me before. Ned says that it’s because you might like me, too, and I think I’m gonna hold on to the hope for a while longer. I want someone as kind as you to like me. And let’s face, you were a badass. It was epic. And I seriously hope you like me back, you amazingly awesome human being.
“You should really listen to Ned more often,” you said, leaning your head on his shoulder and pretending that you hadn’t kind of been tearing up this whole time. Peter pretend not to notice like the chivalrous boy that he was and nodded, chuckling. “Yeah, I should, right?”
This one’s gonna be short, because May is bothering me about who I’m always writing to and I promised I’d explain. I hope you don’t mind that I’m gonna tell her about you. These letters just help me blow off some steam and I guess it makes me feel pretty good to think maybe you’d potentially wanna read them someday. I don’t know. I think it’d be cool to give them to you, but I doubt that day will come. I think I already wrote that in a letter. Damn. I’ll move on. You got detention for punching Flash, sorry about that. Still, you told me that I shouldn’t feel bad about it because the guy had it coming. He totally did. You’re really cool. I’m gonna stop now because this letter is lame bye I like you.
You poking the dimple emerging on Peter’s cheek and he wrinkled his nose, cringing back. You kissed the little indent. He didn’t want you to ever stop kissing him. The little I like you placed at the end of most of the letters really sealed the deal.
Aunt May is now dying to meet you. I’m so sorry. I hope you never actually meet her because she’ll probably ask you to marry me and hit on you on my behalf just because she’s afraid I won’t be able to do it myself. She thinks you’re awesome. It’s probably because you punched someone. May is very big on girl power. I think you’d like her. Maybe you could meet her one day? I don’t know why I’m asking you’re not actually reading this and it’s a rhetorical question so yeah. Did I mention I like you? You gave me your book to read today after I mentioned that the series was something I was interested in. Seriously, you just whipped out the whole series and told me to read it whenever. You have the nicest smile when you smile at me. Please stop having such a nice smile. It’s unfair for the rest of us and I keep liking you more and more. It’s getting out of hand. Ned thinks so, too.
“See, that was a situation where you shouldn’t have listened to Ned.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Should I keep reading?”
“I wouldn’t forgive you if you stopped.”
I can’t stop thinking about you. It’s going to drive me mad. I like you so much it’s gonna suffocate me. Talking to you is the highlight of my day. My affection for you keeps growing and growing and growing as time passes us by and I don’t know what to do about because if I tell you I could either lose you or have the opportunity to be with the greatest person I’ve ever known besides my aunt and my uncle and Tony Stark, but if I don’t tell you I could lose you. Either way, I could potentially never be with you. And I can’t take the risk. Maybe I should just get over you. Maybe I’d be better off.
Without wait, Peter flipped to the final letter.
It’s been awhile. Sorry about that. I thought I’d try to move on. I tried to like Liz, I figured I could at least try, but she doesn’t compare even though she’s very nice to me, too. She’s not you. You’re the only you. You’re Y/N and I like Y/N not Liz and you’re Y/N and I no longer know what I’m saying. Michelle told me you’re avoiding me because of Liz and that you think I like her and it’s making you upset. Don’t be upset with me. That’s the last thing I wan. I just wanna scream HEY Y/N YOU LOVELY HUMAN BEING YOU I LIKE YOU DON’T HATE ME BECAUSE I LIKE YOU AND YEAH I LIKE YOU DATE ME LOVE ME. I said love. I’m gonna go now. Bye.
Peter placed it atop the stack, and you added the tenth one there as well. He wasn’t going to be embarrassed about his feelings. They were right there, right in front of you, his heart already read aloud and listened to you and appreciated by you. The thought seized him and made him lace his fingers through yours, shy smile shy eyes that met yours before closing and kissing you, and everything about him was soft. Soft lips that slanted against yours and kissed you in the way that anyone in love would want to be kissed, with love and with passion and as if he’d never want to do anything else for the rest of his life. Soft hands that tentatively found their way to your hips but didn’t go beyond there, soft hands that caressed your face in that adoring way he did and wound in your hair. Soft eyes that locked on yours and didn’t look away when you both broke for a second, your breathing labored. His forehead pressed against yours. He didn’t want to pull away, ever.
May casually strolled into the room, and Peter pulled back quickly but with annoyance, raising his eyebrows at his aunt. She’d let the boy have his kiss, happy- so happy- that her Peter was getting what he deserved, but she was still the parental figure and parental figures had to be responsible. That’s what she had been told, anyway. “Sorry, honey, I just wanted to be introduced to that girl you were telling me about just, like, two days ago.” She said cheerfully, smiling adoringly at her nephew and then at you. You grinned back, standing up to introduce yourself.
“I’m Y/N, it’s really nice to meet you, Mrs. Parker,” you stuck your hand out, but May pulled you in for a hug instead.
“You can just call me May.” She gave you a squeeze, very motherly, and you missed Peter’s outstanding beam as he watched his two favorite girls embrace. May lightly shoved Peter’s shoulder, then said, “Peter, are you gonna invite her to stay for dinner or what?”
“Maaayyyy, let me get my own dates,” he pouted, ushering her out of the room. When she left, her laugh still ringing throughout the apartment, Peter leaned causally against his doorframe in a painful attempt to look cool. “So, Y/N, would you stay for dinner?” Before you could reply with an obvious, May’s voice called, “Or forever? You could stay forever. I’d be on board with that!”
Peter blushed, rushing out of the room to tell her to keep quiet, but you didn’t mind one bit. Staying with Peter Benjamin Parker forever didn’t sound like a bad life, not one bit.
You hadn’t left Peter’s apartment until nearly ten o’clock, and even then, he had rode the train home with you to prolong the night. He kissed you at your doorstep twice, once on the lips, swift and sweet, and then once on the forehead, tender and caring. Then, he left, continuously looking back at your grinning face so much that he walked straight into your mailbox and nearly squashed a stray cat that had been wandering by. You smiled all the way up to your bedroom, thinking about the adorable idiot that had ensnared your heart in his hands. That night, he wrote you another letter, this time with the intent of giving it to you.
He delivered it at your locker a week later (he had spent that week editing it over and over again, making sure his feelings were true), appearing just as you were shutting the metal doors with an envelope in his outstretched hand. He was fidgeting, yes, but he was excited, and you took the letter in your hands after leaping into his arms and sending him flying across the hallway. He didn’t fall, though, which was a plus.
I’ve heard from a few people that I don’t know what love is because I’m fifteen and technically my brain hasn’t fully developed. Here’s the thing, though: I don’t care. There’s not one part of me that cares about what science says right now. They can say what they want. Maybe, just maybe, I don’t know what love is. Maybe I haven’t the slightest clue. But maybe is a word that means you can never really know and that everything just a possibility. So, there’s only a very slight possibility that I don’t know what love is, but there’s a greater possibility that I do. However, for now, I’ll tell you what I do know. I know that when you smile at me even for just a second I can feel my entire heart quicken in its beats. I feel my pulse racing. I know that when you look at me in that soft and sweet way you do I feel for just a second that nothing could ever possibly hurt me as long as you keep looking at me like that, forever. I know your laugh makes me blush and that when you kiss me I’m completely invincible. I know that every song on my playlist can connect back to you someway somehow and I know that the sound of your voice can make my whole day.
If that’s not love, then I have no clue what love is. I’m pretty sure it’s love, though. Correct me if I’m wrong, my love. I’m pretty sure that these feelings that flutter around my stomach day and night and make miss you even when you’ve only been gone for five minutes are love, because what else could they possibly be? I love you, and you’ve made the world, my world, a better place just by making yourself at home in my heart. So thank you for letting me love you and loving me in return. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay you, just like I can’t repay you for punching Flash, but I plan on spending as long as you’ll allow me trying to do so.
Your very in love boyfriend who knows this is too sappy but doesn’t care,
Peter Benjamin Parker :)
He added the smiley face in, a quick little doodle, and sometimes you liked to joke that the smiley face was what made you know you were in love with him. It wasn’t. It was everything else about that wonderful boy. But it the smiley face was certainly adorable.
Jimin sat on the edge of his bed, his laptop on his thighs and his hands in his hair. He had to do it now, he told himself. He had to call you now and confess what had happened. There was no way to hide it anymore. No way to pretend that everything was the same as it used to be. No more having to hide the guilt that had plagued him constantly these past 3 months. He finally pulled his head up to look at your smiling face on his screen. His fingers hovered over the trackpad as he willed himself to hit the call button. He took a deep, shaky breath and tapped on your name. It was time for him to tell you the worst secret of his life.
You were laying in your bed that evening, staring at your BTS poster taped to your closet door. The few people very close to you knew that you weren’t just an ARMY fangirling over the boys in the picture. You were always only looking at one boy. You were only ever looking at your ChimChim.
The chronic times apart hadn’t been easy for either of you. When Jimin had gone to be a trainee, leaving your hometown of Busan, you’d hoped that things wouldn’t be over between you two. You’d hoped that your connection was strong enough to overcome the distance. And it had been. Sure, being limited to video chats or talking on the phone wasn’t nearly as good as having him there in person; but you’d both learned how to navigate the rough waters of him being an idol with a secret girlfriend.
At first it had really bothered you that you had to keep your relationship a secret. Every time that Jimin claimed to have never been in a relationship before used to feel like a stab to your heart. The precious few days you had together when he got to visit home was filled with disguises to prevent fans from recognizing him and therefore wondering about you. You had a strong love-hate relationship with the other ARMYs. You loved that he was being successful. You loved seeing others see all of the good inside him. Loved watching their clever edits that were made with so much care. But then there was the ugly side of being an idol. Having to watch other girls screaming his name and reaching for him constantly. Having to watch him doing his fanservice and smiling his shy smile at them and answering their sticky note questions flirtatiously. It was all part of his job—you knew that. You knew in your heart, even without his constant assurances, that Park Jimin loved you and only you. The girl of his hometown.
At least that’s what you had to keep reminding yourself of more and more often lately. Five months ago, BitHit had asked Jimin to publicly date an actress that had been in their newest music video to help promote their comeback. It bothered you that BigHit often put things on only Jimin’s shoulders like when they told him that only he had to show his abs in their debut song. It had been a tough conversation but you told Jimin you understood. He was doing it for his career and helping hers as well since Jimin was always thinking of others. None of it meant anything. They didn’t even talk outside of their public appearances that were always so carefully crafted even when they were just “going to the grocery store.” The public ate everything up so easily.
Suddenly your phone sounded with a video call. When you saw the familiar handsome face flash across your screen, your mood instantly picked up and you were ready for one of your long five hour conversations that Jimin always called “conversations with friends” when asked about it in interviews.
“Hey, my ChimChim,” you greeted him happily with your favorite nickname for him.
“Hey, jagiya,” he said, his voice noticeably subdued.
“What’s wrong?” you asked instantly, sitting straight up in your bed. You took in his facial features that were filled with a mixture of anxiety and sadness.
“What makes you think something’s wrong?” He gave a nervous laugh.
“Jiminie, I know you better than you know yourself….What’s wrong?”
“Ay, Jaigya,” he sighed, leaning back and running his hand roughly through his hair. “I—I really don’t want to tell you this,” he said quietly.
Your stomach started to sink and you felt your throat starting to close up. There was something very wrong. You’d seen Jimin when he was feeling down more times than you could count but this was something else. This wasn’t just him having doubts about himself. This was him holding back. He was always so caring; always thinking of everyone else first. This was something about you.
“Are you breaking up with me?” you managed to squeeze out through the tightness in your throat.
“Y/n, it’s not that. It’s um…it’s something else.”
“Please just tell me, ChimChim. I don’t know how much longer I can take this,” you admitted.
You watched as his throat gulped on the screen. He ran his hand through his hair again, biting his lip as he did so. If you weren’t in such agonizing suspense, you’d be thinking some rather naughty thoughts right now. If only that’s what was happening you thought to yourself.
“You know h/n noona?” he asked.
“Yes, of course,” you responded quickly. How could you forget the beautiful, talented actress fake dating your boyfriend?
“Something happened one night…with me and her,” he finally said.
You stared at the image of your boyfriend on the screen, feeling like every inch of blood inside you was draining out.
“‘One night’?” you repeated softly. “What do you mean?” You had to hear him say the words. It wasn’t real until he said the words.
“Y/n, I was drunk,” he started. “I was drunk and lonely and missing you more than you could possibly know. And I—I slept with her,” he finally admitted. “I don’t even remember any of it. I just woke up next to her.”
You closed your eyes tightly to prevent the tears that had welled up in your eyes from falling down your face. You never in a dozen lifetimes thought Jimin would be that guy. Not your ChimChim. All of those pictures you would send him, all of those video and phone calls—they were all for nothing. You still couldn’t be there to satisfy him and he’d turned to someone else. You were so stupid to think that this would ever turn out any other way.
“Y/n, that’s not all of it,” Jimin’s voice broke in again.
You didn’t care anymore if he saw the tears. Let him see. Let him see how much he’d hurt you. “What else do you want to tell me?” you choked out. You hid the surprise from crossing your face when you saw that Jimin was crying on the other side of the screen.
Anger streaked through you. “Are you kidding me?” you burst out. “You’ve always made sure we were careful! Even with you wearing condoms, you asked me to take birth control even though I get to see you only two weeks out of the year! And then you sleep with her without using anything?!” You couldn’t stop the accusing words from coming out of your mouth.
“Jagi, I was drunk. I didn’t plan for it to happen,” he replied.
“How far along is she?”
Jimin stared at you. “Twelve weeks,” he finally answered.
“You did this three months ago and didn’t tell me?” you whispered.
“It was one time. I knew it would never happen again. I couldn’t bear to see you hurt like this.”
You nodded mockingly at him through your tears. “How long have you had feelings for her?”
“What?” He looked like you’d put your hand through the screen and smacked him.
“How long, Jimin?” you demanded.
“I don’t, jagi.”
“Don’t call me that,” you protested immediately. “I know you, Park Jimin. Even drunk, you would never sleep with someone you didn’t feel anything for. What are you going to do now?”
“I don’t know, y/n,” he admitted. “She told me she’s keeping the baby.”
You let out a small sarcastic laugh. “Of course she is. It’s your baby. No one could end a part of you…,” you trailed off, your heart squeezing even tighter as the realization that this was happening hit you. She was carrying your boyfriend’s child. She was always going to have a connection with him now. She was always going to have a piece of him that you would never have. And with that thought you realized what your next question needed to be. “Are you going to marry her?” He didn’t respond. “You will, won’t you?” you whispered. “You’ll keep her from scandal.”
“She doesn’t deserve it,” he said. “You don’t deserve this,” his voice broke. “I’m sorry, y/n. More sorry than you could ever know. I would never want to hurt you.”
“Oh, Jiminie,” you said slightly mockingly. “It’s way too late for that.” And with that Jimin broke down into a pile of sobs on the other side of the screen. You couldn’t watch this anymore. “Goodbye, Jimin,” you choked out and hung up the call.
Before you fell into your own mess of sobs, you sent a quick text to Jin. You need to go to Jiminie. He needs someone right now. Please don’t be too hard on him. Because even after all of this, you knew that you would always love that beautiful boy with the shy smile from Busan.
I am sad to say that I am resigning from the blog FatedFujoshis. As of today, the blog will no longer do scanlations and will be under new management. They will continue to pursue blcd videos since the girls want to continue/finish their projects. As for me, I am withdrawing from anything that has to do with the blog, meaning scans, videos, and overseeing the blog in action! I wanted to say a few thank you’s before I leave for good.
@sentimientoyaoi (Nikah), thank you for all your help. I don’t think we could have been able to put out great work like Katsura Komachi scans or others if it weren’t for them. They also introduced me to many players in the scanlation business, which open many doors for many things blog-related or friendship/contact wise. Yoru, I will miss your colored pages you did for us, you have amazing talent, always keep it up. (Nikah we’ll keep in touch :P)
@nijiniji-nikubou-scans, lol Nina, you are my lifesaver on so many levels lol. I think she oversaw all our projects, even including some blcd videos recently. Anytime I would hit rock bottom, you were there to help me getting the process done the way I wanted it. And thank you for letting me borrow your staff… I don’t think I abused you too much, Ash ;) ( But I won’t say goodbye to you guys, because we will remain friends on Facebook :P)
To @crappy-bl-scanlations Nagareboshi, my moon lighter translator, who will keep on helping my girls, I think I annoyed you soooo many times with Japanese proofing everything so we could put our best work forward. Thank you so much for putting up with my annoying million texts a day. Even though you made me redo a video 5 times and get mad, I knew it was for the best for the blog even if I was being snarky from being so analllll lol
To all the others, like @justpeachyicedtea The Anon, @fluffwords, @lustfulcat cat, Dhyzre, Fantaisy, (if I missed anyone else please don’t hate me ;P ) thank you for involving yourself with our group when we needed help on missing staff positions. I am overwhelmed with how everyone was ready to be hands on and help out with projects. Truly the yaoi community is very generous. So please don’t be hasty/nasty when projects are slow. All these groups take great pride in releasing awesome projects.
To my staff, thank you for helping grow the blog’s content, if it wasn’t for you guys, I don’t think we would’ve had so much content to share. Starting this blog with you guys was a lot of fun, I won’t miss the mentoring at lolol. Keep helping each other and keep going, the Yaoi community needs to hear more perverted moans lol! It was a pleasure to work with you all.
And as for the followers to, don’t be sad, more videos will be on there way, just without my editing! Love you all thank you for following me and the blog, it was a fun ride. -Katsumi xox
Hi! Can you please do a RFA+V reacts to an MC that constantly trash talks Rika please ❤️
A/N: God damn I hate Rika
lemme at her ~Admin 404
if y'all are reading this
and actually like Rika im sorry but she can catch these fists
(EDIT DUE TO ALL OF THE RECENT V/RIKA DISCOURSE: seriously guys i do respect if you like Rika, but you have to respect if I dont like her, okay? We’re human, we like and dislike different people and that is okay. Just be respectful, because honestly? Attacking others due to what they like is just /fucked/ up, okay? I love you all so please;; ^^;;)
-MC please stop that
-He like WORSHIPS his cousin
-Even after everything is done he still does and he just
-Why would you say such nasty things about his cousin???
MC that isn’t alright
-Throws fits all the time. Full on will pout and throw
himself to the floor until you apologize
-Loves you, but hates the things you say about his cousin
-He’s very loving to absolutely everyone and cannot wrap
his head around why you would say such mean things about his own family???
-You work on keeping your opinions to yourself and he’s
so proud of you <3
- but you mainly hold your tongue because you love him
and yandere yoosung is scary
-TALKING SHIT ABOUT PEOPLE IS VERY RUDE!
-He thought Rika was really sweet!
-Of course he was closer with V than he was with Rika and
all, but he never saw a reason to dislike her
-Every time you go to say something bad about her, he’s
right there with a finger to your lips
-“No MC, you don’t talk ill about people, it makes
you ugly on the inside”
- you talk bad about jumin though so like um should we
talk about that zen
-Now yes, you’re allowed to have you opinions, as long as
you express them without hate
-Hate is very strong, MC, don’t just throw it around
-Eventually you just…kinda stop? Because you don’t end
up saying anything anyway since he’s always right there to remind you that it’s
bad to talk about people
-She wasn’t very close to Rika (Since she joined the RFA
late and all)
-But she thought she was a nice and kind person
- so pure so innocent
-So when you say something negative about her the first
time she’s surprised
-First, she never expected you to be the type to talk
shit about others
-Second she just can’t see why you would say such things
-Most of the time she just lets you say what you want
because they weren’t close enough to know what she was truly like and defend
-Like she can’t confirm nor deny that she’s crazy, it’s
your opinion and she can’t change that
-Isn’t the type to talk shit but she’s definitely down
for a little gossip if you wanna tone it down a bit
-As long as you take into consideration other people’s
feelings *coughYoosungcough* and don’t
say anything to intentionally harm someone, whatever MC
-“MC you shouldn’t talk like that”
- i can talk how i wanna thank you very much mr
-He obviously knows she’s done some bad things but he
can’t talk ill about her
-Sure he used to have feelings for her and all but that’s
not what keeps him from being negative
-He’s just not the type so see a point in it
-What will talking shit bring you? What will it fix? What
use is it? There is no use for it
-You can talk all you want but most of the time he just
stays quiet and lets it slide
-But some of the words that come out of your mouth MC,
how can such a pretty mouth say such dirty words
- lets see how dirty your mouth can get, wink wonk im
-Just please don’t say anything extremely rude, he
doesn’t like it, people deserve some sort of level of respect
-Preeeetty sure he’d hate her at the end of it all because???
-She brain washed his brother and all this shit?????
-No thank you
-Wouldn’t say anything when you say negative things about
-Gets quiet and just nods
-He doesn’t bring anything up but if you’re already
talking about her, he’ll input his opinion if you want it
-Actually thinks it’s a little funny? Because you’re just
so feisty and just bring it up randomly
-Y'all could be laying in bed, 2 AM, almost asleep, and
you just whisper “god I hate her”
-And he can’t help but laugh because it’s just so out of
-Just wow MC, you can hold a grudge can’t you?
-MC that was the love of his life at one time
-Yes, he knows that she’s crazy but he still loved her
-Yes, he loves you now, but still
-He isn’t the type to hold grudges or to really talk ill
-Understands that you’re angry about everything she’s
done and everything she’s put him through
-Lowkey takes it as a compliment because wow you love me
this much to hate this person
-But is also like “MC hate is a strong word- MC YOU
SHOULDN’T CALL ANYONE THAT NAME THAT IS A BAD WORD”
- okay but listen v,,,,, am i wrong???? no i am not
-Just quietly listens to you rant and say what you want
most of the time because you’re allowed to have your own opinions
-But you can’t help but apologize because?? He’s so sweet
and it’s kind of heartbreaking to talk about his past love that way when it was
very obvious he really loved her
-“Fuck her she’s crazy” “I know
-Seriously I think he’d talk shit too
-Like sure at one point he was like “THIS IS MY
SAVIOUR” but once he’s gotten help and like out of her control
-Wouldn’t you talk shit too??
-At the beginning I’m sure he’d get angry and tell you to
just knock it off
-But as time goes on I think he’d start to realize how
terrible she really is
-So go ahead MC, trash talk all you want
-He’ll just nod along or tell you some things you didn’t
even know about her
-Loves the fire you get in your eyes when you talk about
it though because WOW
-You care about him that much??? To have these feelings
towards her??? That strongly???
Summary: the god of mischief wasn’t a very big fan of midgardian sources of entertainment, but you wouldn’t let him stop you from catching a 3d film you had been waiting for.
A/N: *gets up Dracula style* I’m ALIVE!!!!!! Hehe, did ya miss me? *cricket silence* I will take that as a no, so, um I am writing again. sorry for not writing for a while because I was soooo busy with school. Studying medical or simply science aint easy. So I read this thing somewhere and it inspired me to write this. I am too tired to edit it so please overlook any errors or mistakes. It is so sweet imma BARF. Hope you like it!
Warnings: FLUFF, embarrassed loki, protective lokie, cute loki, need I say anything else?
Word Count: 796
He was comfortable at last when you decided to disrupt his peace. Loki hated everything Midgard had to offer, the houses, the sources of entertainment, the transport system and oh, the people…
the lack of the of asgard’s beauty made living in Midgard very hard. And when he got these little peaceful moments he just didn’t want to be disturbed at all. Even if it was you, someone he didn’t quite hate as much as the others.
‘come on, loki! I really wanna watch this movie! It’s about space.’ you whined kneeling in front of him by the couch he laid on.
‘(y/n), for I have a slight liking for you and do not wish to kill you, I suggest you don’t disturb me.’ he said calmly. You huffed and got up.
‘loki, you are not going to ruin this night for me, you have to come with me.’ you crossed your arms. He looked at you with a smirk and said ‘no’. you rolled your eyes and got on your knees again and walked in that position close to him. ‘please? I promise I’d do anything.’ You looked at him pleadingly.
‘anything,’ he sat up with the smirk still intact. ‘now that seems tempting.’ He moved his face close to yours. but you were determined, and good at hiding the uneasiness and the heat that rose to your face.
‘don’t take it in the wrong direction.’ You warned and he let out a breathy laugh.
‘well, I believe I have no other option.’ He stood up. ‘my peace has been disrupted, I as well go outside with you.’ he said and you jumped with joy. His lips twitched into a smile looking at your happy face. ‘one beautiful girl I stumbled upon, wonder what it would be like to-‘ he shook off the thought.
‘eep! Thank you!’ you threw your arms around his neck and hugged him quick and tightly. He really wished to hug back, but something stopped him. you grabbed his hand and led the way and he followed, pondering over the things he felt.
Loki was invested in the movie to say the least, the glasses were uncomfortable but the experience was nice. The story was interesting and he had you by his side. Things were… good.
You couldn’t help but smile as observed him. his expressions resembled like those of a curious child, he would furrow his brows, part his lips slowly as he tried to understand something, he looked adorable.
You were snapped out of your thoughts as you were pushed back into your seat by an arm you recognized to be loki’s. you ran your eyes from his arm to his face to the screen to process what had happened.
‘i-I apologise, I- I, um’ he didn’t speak any further and ran a hand through his hair before he sat back in his seat again. apparently, he had though that the rocks that flew from the asteroid belt were going to hit you and he had made an attempt to ‘save you’.
To say you, turned back to watch the film but you were all giddy inside, you weren’t used to such gestures, you weren’t used to someone caring. It was the most adorable thing someone had done for you.
You both walked out of the cinema hall, he was awkward and a little embarrassed while you couldn’t stop smiling. You had chosen a late show so the night was dark and cool, he couldn’t make eye contact as he walked with you in the silence.
‘loki, um, why did you do that?’ you asked and he stopped.
‘nothing really, my reflexes took over.’ He shrugged it off still avoiding your eyes.
‘hmm,’ you hummed and slipped you hand in his as you two walked. he stiffened a little, he wasn’t used to such a warm touch.
You looked at him and smiled the loveliest smile at him and all his embarrassment washed off. You got on your tip- toes but couldn’t quite reach where you needed to, he gulped slightly, not knowing what to do until you chuckled at yourself and motioned him to come a little closer. He moved his face closer to yours and you kissed his cheek softly, keeping your lips there for just enough time to make his stomach flip and a thousand butterflies to erupt in it. you stood on your feet again and looked at his face, he looked dreamy and pink smudge was dusted on his cheeks.
‘that was the sweetest thing that has happened to me,’ you grinned looking at the blushing god. You tilted your head and kept a hand on his cheek. ‘you’re adorable.’ You said and he kept his hand on yours, giving you a genuine smile.
Re: conversations lately surrounding attribution and reposting other people’s work (that is, posting someone’s content on your own – even with credit – and not reblogging, retweeting, etc. the original post by the creator) — PLEASE DO NOT REPOST MY ART WITHOUT MY PERMISSION.
I grew up on Japanese art forums where reposting is seen as a huge taboo, and I very much maintain that perspective. Copyright laws are scrambling to keep up with things like Instagram and Tumblr and how attribution should work via social media, and I get that it’s complicated and unclear sometimes. I would prefer that no one repost my work and just reblog/retweet my stuff (and there’s no other choice on Instagram except reposting, so please just don’t on there), but if you are dying to, just ask for my permission first.
There’s a lot of good discussion out there on why attribution to the original creator is important (google it!); we literally make our money this way. You’d be amazed how many people don’t click through even on posts with credits/links to find the original creator, where links to a store, portfolio, etc might exist.
This is also why I hate “edits,” because it’s altering my content without my permission. But. Sigh. What can ya do.
I appreciate y’all’s understanding. Thanks! Three cheers to online etiquette.
Summary: You were what you could easily call an insomniac, but lucky for you there’s a cute coffee shop in your neighborhood that stays open all night. On any other night, you’d be the only one in the place, sipping contently at a latte and writing in your journal, but what happens when a handsome super soldier with a sketchbook draws himself in the picture?
Warnings: Fluff, cuteness overload, bad editting (sorrrrryyy)
A/N: This was an adoooorable request by @xxred-vengeancexx. I hope this was what you were looking for darling, enjoy xo
Also I’m a sucker for rainy atmospheres so I used a bunch of indie music for inspiration. Like Gregory Alan Isakov and David Gray. Totally recommend you guys listen them!
Just a short imagine I wrote while I was bored and wanted to post it :)))) This is not edited or proofread, so I’m sorry if there’s any mistakes. I know this is kind of a ‘basic’ topic but I really wanted to write about it so, here you go:)
Warnings: None :)
Word Count: 2196
He sat in front of you as he waited for his coffee. You were so excited to see him. He just got out of the airport and happened to see you in the coffee shop you usually did your school work at. You wanted so badly to hug and kiss him. But you couldn’t. You were in public.
His management doesn’t allow him to go public with you. He’s begged his manager many time over the past three years to finally let him be able to hold your hand in public and take you out on a date. Let him walk around with you. But he always just got the answer “After this comeback” to receive “Not yet, ask again next year”. One of the other managers finally explained to him that they wanted to keep the image going for the boys. Wanted to keep them single to the public to ‘keep their fans’. They explained that if one of them had a girlfriend, some fans will stop supporting, causing future albums and comebacks to go to shit. When the other boys stated they didn’t care and wanted to see their leader happy, they refused to listen, keeping Jaebum on close watch. Making sure he didn’t leak any information. That’s why you’re a secret.
Or not so much. To the public eye, and to his fans, you were just his best friend. Close to the other members but his best friend. Knowing him since before his debut, everyone knew you. Fans asking about you on his Vlives or in person, answering questions about you in interviews or to other idols to clear things up, which always broke his heart and just wanted to yell she’s the love of my life! Some fans even openly shipped you two. Telling you that they want you guys together when they saw you out and about. Everyone knew you, just not the way he wanted you to be known as.
He didn’t mean for the first time you guys saw each other, after two and a half long months, to be in public. Since you lived barely a mile away from the airport, he decided to walk to your house, get some fresh air. He saw you in the coffee shop and couldn’t wait another minute longer. Two and a half months was long enough. He walked in, very quickly let me tell you, almost tripping on his feet. When you looked up from your textbook and notes, about to make sure the clumsy person was okay, you froze looking into those soft brown eyes you’ve only been able to see through your small phone lately. You quickly got up, forgetting where you were and that you needed to keep your cool, knowing some fans or even paparazzi must’ve followed him. He gave you a sad smile, before walking the rest of the distance and hugging you lightly.
What he really wanted to do was hug you so tightly, you’d turn red and your bones would hurt. He wanted to twirl you around to hear that soft giggle he lives so much. He wanted to kiss those lips he loves and misses so much. He wanted to not let go. But he had to. Because you were in public.
After the moment where he inhaled your scent, something he hadn’t realized he missed until then, he hesitantly pulled away. He pointed to your seat and you sat down while he went to order a drink. You shuffled to put your stuff away, dropping a few things, but you didn’t care. Your boyfriend of three years was here.
And that’s what led up to now. You guys sat across each other, studying each other. His brown hair, messy from his hoody. His brown eyes slightly swollen and his two little moles right below his eyebrow. His slightly chapped lips that he’s licked a few times in the past minute. His eyes staring at your features, taking in your appearance. Your lips red and swollen from biting them in concentration so much. Your hair down and in its natural state. You eyes red from your lack of sleep.
He opens his mouth to speak but his cut off by the middle aged women bringing his coffee. “Here you go young man.” She kindly smiles as she sat the coffee down. She turns to you, her smile still bright. “You want your regular, sweetie?”
“Yes please, thank you Evelyn.” You smile as she nods and walks away. When she’s out of sight you finally look back to your boyfriend who’s been staring at you the whole time. You smile shyly, your cheeks heating up.
“With how long we’ve been together, you’d think you wouldn’t blush because of me anymore.” He smiles softly as he takes a sip of his steaming coffee.
“People say if you still have that effect on your significant other, that’s how you know they’re in love.” you shrug and leaning your elbow onto the table, chin on your palm.
He raises an eyebrow as his smile becomes wider, eyeing you. “So you’re in love? With who?”
“Just some guy. Super cute and tries to act like he’s not super soft when he really his. I miss him lots.”
“Then why don’t you do something about it?” He challenges as he leans back into his eat, arms crossed over his chest.
“Because we’re in public and we’d both probably get our heads chopped off if I do something about it.”
His smile drops slightly with your statement. He knew it was a joke, but he also knew how much it hurt you to be kept a secret. He knew deep down you were hurting with that statement, slight hate towards his job for not letting you guys be together publicly. But he also knew that you wouldn’t ever complain about it, because you knew it was his dream job. And you loved him too much to make him choose.
He sighs and leans forward, his arms crossed on the table. He looks up into your soft eyes that glow with the light that shines above you both. He looks at your smooth skin and flushed cheeks. “I’m sorry I put you through this crap, baby girl. I didn’t mean for me to surprise you here. I was walking to your place and saw you and I just couldn’t wait. Even though I basically am since I can’t even fucking touch you after waiting so damn long. I tried talking to them aga-”
“Babe, it’s fine. I’m glad you came here. As long as I get to see you, I’m okay.” You smile softly as you look up in time for the coffee and thank her quietly before looking back to Jaebum. “How long are you back for?”
“Three months. Maybe even longer. We’re just going to be preparing for a comeback.” He nods as he takes another sip of his coffee.
“I’m really happy you’re back.”
And you were. You weren’t unhappy with Jaebum at all. You loved him with all your heart and wouldn’t change that if you could. You did hate the fact that you could’t kiss him and if you could, you’d run away right now. You’d run away to a cabin in the woods where you;d be all alone. Just the two of you forever, you two in a little cabin watching the sun set and rise every day. You’d spend the day with just the two of you, walk around without anyone seeing and having to be cautious of everything you did around him. You wanted to have a normal relationship so badly it hurt. But you loved him too much, and if he was happy, you were happy. He’d never know how bad this hurt you to not be able to have a normal relationship with the man you loved since you were eighteen years old. You’ve wanted to gloat to people about you’re relationship and brag about how you found the perfect man in your childhood best friend. But you couldn’t.
“I know this hurts you Y/N. I know it does but you don’t want to say anything because you’re the most selfless person I’ve ever met. I want you to talk to me about it.”
“Jae, stop. Not here.” You mumble. The cafe is nearly empty except for another couple by the window in the front. The workers talking and not paying attention to the two of you.
“I want you to tell me how much you hate it. How much this hurts not just me but you too. Tell me how you want me to fix this. I hate seeing the way your eyes get glossy whenever we’re in public because we have to act like we haven’t been in love for the past three years. I want nothing more than to wipe those emotions away but I need you to talk to me. Don’t worry about me or about the fans or my job. Worry about yourself and talk-”
“Fine, Jaebum! I hate sitting here across from you and having to act like you mean nothing more than a friend to me. I hate how I have to act like this doesn’t bother me that I can’t kiss you or hug you more than ten seconds after I have’t seen you for nearly three months. I hate that your management basically controls our relationship and I hate that to the public eye I’m just some friend. I want people to know how much I love you. But I can’t do that.”
He stares into your watery eyes and licks his lips. His eyes forming tears he wish weren’t caused because of his job. “Baby girl, I wish nothing more than to be able to kiss you right now. Or anywhere for that matter. I don’t want to have to hide our relationship either baby. I -”
“It’s not your fault Jae.” You sigh and grab your bag. “I’m going to start heading home. You coming?” You ask him as you stand up and trudge your bag onto your shoulder.
Jaebum bites his lip and nods. He knows you don’t like to talk about this. Especially not in public where you guys can’t comfort each other. He sighs as he gets up. You were already out of the door, walking slowly by the window, waiting to hear the door open and close before continuing to walk to your house.
You’re about to cross the street when you feel someone tug on your arm pulling you back about a foot. You turn around expecting to see Jaebum’s worried face, thinking you were about to walk in front of a car.
But no. You were met with the soft lips of your boyfriend’s, smacking into yours. You gasp a bit before kissing him back, your hands flying to his face. His hands lay on your waist and he brings you closer. You hear gasps and squeals come from across the street or in the coffee shop. The sound of clicks and flashes coming from across the street are what pulled you back to reality. You pull away from him with a gasp, your hands now on his shoulder. His eyes widen as he takes in your appearance. “Jae…” You whisper as you stare into his eyes. He smiles softly at you and kisses your nose.
“I’m not hiding you anymore. I’m not going to let this hurt us anymore. It’s my relationship and I just kissed you in front of a bunch of paps who followed me from the airport, so there’s no going back on it now.” He shrugs and his smile widens as he pulls you closer, your body flush against his as he wraps his arms rund your body. Finally holding you the way he wanted. Finally kissing you after so long.
“Did you know-”
He nods before you can finish, interrupting you with a kiss. “ I heard them behind me when I was walking, When you walked out of the shop I saw them again and needed to do this.”
“Your managers and the boys-”
“The boys will understand. They’ve been encouraging me to do this the past two weeks when they found out I was surprising you. As for the management.” He shrugs and looks across the street, smiling and waving at the fans who squealed and waved. “They’ll have to deal with it. I don’t know what they’ll do. But until then, I want to hang out with the love of my life and cuddle her. I want to make up for the lost time. I’m with you. I love you. You mean the world to me and I can’t lose you.”
You smile brightly and pull him into a tight hug. “You were never going to lose me.”
He pulls away and grabs you hand. “Now let’s get away from them. I want to be alone with you.”
You smile brightly as he runs with you trailing behind him. You hear the girls yell for him and you. Yelling that they love you. He laughs and looks back at you. Happy because you’re in public.
Here it is people part two! I tried to make it as Fluffy as possible but it looked really impossible. But I hope you guys like this.
After what happened at the vault, you began to try and hang around more with Peter and Ned. You manage to balance your time. You were finished fixing the voice command for the suit. All you need to do was to install it on the suit but you needed the suit in your possesion to be able to install it.
“ ughh… How am I gonna install it? ” you said as you rubbed your face with both hands and muffled a groan.
You heard a familiar alarm beep. You immidiately rolled to turned and activated the holo screens as you placed the mic. Peter was putting on the suit.
( Time Skip. Sorry I don’t know what actually happened at the boat scene fully so yeah. I haven’t watch the movie yet but I am planning on watching it on youbtube. )
The incident on the boat technically was getting to Peter. He took of his mask before you could ask if he was ok. You watch him from the monitos as he sat on the edge.
“ Oh Peter … ” you mumbled.
Few moments later as you watch, Your dad arrived and began scolding the poor boy at fault. You couldn’t do anything just watch as Peter said he was sorry. It angered you. The way your father thinks he is a good person.
“ Ok, I think I’m gonna need the suit back. ” Tony said as your eyes widen. Peter begged him not to.
“ No. Please, I’m nothing without this suit. "he begged as Tony reasoned out with him again. You were had a frown as you watched the two. You wanted to comfort Peter but you can’t.
Tony got home as he was greeted with a frowning you.
” Is there something wrong Sweetie? “ he asked as you just called for Friday who showed a video to Tony behind you while the glare didn’t leave your space. Tony gave a ” uh oh “ look.
” You were there? Sweetie its not nice to earsdropping in a conversation.
“ don’t give me that crap dad! I understand what Peter did was kinda suicide but he atleast tried to help! ” you argued as Tony just walked away from you.
“ I don’t wanna talk about this, Y/n. ”
“ Dad! Don’t walk away from me! Peter is right You never ever listen! Dad this is why I went to Steve’s side on Germany. Dad, you maybe smart but you are still Human! Do you know how much mom worries for you when you fight evil things in the city? God! Dad please! Peter didn’t mean that to happen! You are not a God! You can’t stop death, you may lessen it but you are risking something. For Pete’s sake Dad! I need you alive! We need you! Do you know how much Peter wants to be like you? Dad, he even wanted to be your son?! His parent died in his early age but that didn’t cause him to rebel and learn to be good. You dad I Love you but sometimes I wished you weren’t my dad. I can’t always live up to your expectations on me cause once I fail you would disown me! ” you cried as your tears fell.
“ Y/n, I would never disown you- when did I- ” “ When I lost the world robotics contest when I was 7, you shut me out!! It took a year before you even started to talk to me again. I can’t take this anymore! I’m gonna say it! I Hate You so much! ” you cut him off as you dashed out of the livng room as Tony called your name. You ran to your room and changed into some jeans and sweater. You ran out of the Avengers Tower and took a cab.
You bought some ice cream and chips on your way. You now stood infront of the Parker’s apartment door. You took a deep breath and knocked. A few moments the door opened.
“ Oh Y/n? What are you doing here? ” Aunt May asked as she opened the door. You sent her a warm greeting. “ um I came to visit Peter. Is he home? ” you asked. May gave you as sad nod, she knew something happened. She let you enter as she walked you to Peter’s door.
“ I’ll leave everything to you Y/n. Thank you for coming. ” May thanked with a sad smile and gave you a small hug before leaving.
You looked at the door for a solid 5 minutes before a knock.
“ I not hungry aunt may. ” you heard the sadness in his tone behind the doors.
“ Actually, its Y/n. I came for the Star Wars Death Star lego model that Ned gave you to hide. ” you lied. A few moments before sounds of foot steps made its way to the door as it opened to reveal to you a red eyes Peter. You gave him a sad smile.
“ What is it? I know Ned didn’t left the model here. ” he asked a little straight as he looked at you in a very lifeless pair of eyes.
“ Can’t I just visit my Best friend? I bought Ice Cream on the way. ” you teased as you lifted the white 7/11 plastic that had the gallon of Ice Cream. He sent you a sad smile as he fully opened the door a signed that you are free to enter.
“ Here it comes! ” you joked as You looked at the laptop screen. Peter was constantly laughing as you got off his bed and hugged one pole of his double deck.
“ No Luke. I am Your Father! ” Darth Vader confessed at the scene at the laptop as Peter turned his gaze from the screen to your form as you imitated Luke’s signature act.
“ No! … Thats not true! Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!! ” you a screamed in a very squeaky and low voice so you wouldn’t wake any neighbors. Peter just laughed at you for a good twenty minutes which you didn’t really mind as long as you can keep him from crying.
“ Had enough yet? ” you smirked as you looked down at Peter who was holding his stomach in pain as a few laughs came out of his lips. “ No more please ahah- no more - I’m ok now. Hah” he laughed out as you giggled as sat beside him in his bed. You both leaned in the wall as you two stayed silent. You saw Peter’s eyes dropping in tiredness and drowsiness, which you found extremely cute because he was rubbing his eyes like a child as he yawned.
You did something that you didn’t even bother thinking of the consequences. Peter felt your hand hold shoulder and head circle him as he felt you pull him against you.
His breath hitched as he felt his head resting on you below shoulders and on your chest he felt your grip tighten as he looked up at you. You had your eyes close and your smile placed on your lips.
Peter thanked God that it was dark inside the room because his cheeks just exploded red as heat radiated on them. Your hugs never felt so warm to Peter. He gave into his urge to encircle his arms on you hips graspinf your frame into a hug. You smiled as the warmth. The drowsiness didn’t seem to make your mind work.
“ Thanks Y/n. I really needed this. ” he said as he smiled and hid his face on your neck taking in your scent. You were practically spooning him and you are the big spoon at the moment.
“ Any time Parker. ” you cooed and placed a kiss on his head.
That was when he finally concluded he was now in larb with you 70%.
Summary: being a superhero may be fun, stuff of every nerd’s dreams but it had its cons. Peter knew everything couldn’t always be good for him, he knew he had to sacrifice his happiness for the sake of your safety.
Request: @loser-with-a-lap-top: Could you do prompt #14 with Peter Parker where Peter breaks up with the reader in attempts to keep her safe, but she still doesn’t know he’s spiderman yet so she’s really confused on why he’s breaking up with her, and then she finds out and is even more upset that he was lying. Feel free to change what ever you want. THANK YOU😊
A/N: hey, baby boos. so get ready for an angsty fic this is gonna be rollercoaster of teen emotions. sorry but not sorry. It will have a fluffly end but this part is pure angst. stay tuned for second part because it will have some action. and steam, so wait for it. i had to write it on tumblr so I couldn’t edit it, but it so please look over any mistakes. hope you like it!
Warning(s): swearing, crying, break up. and teengers talking about ya know what. (yes that’s a warning. love me some shameless peter)
Peter sat on the edge of the building, thinking. he liked to do that after doing his daily secret superhero work.he liked to just breathe while he looked over the city while he thought about literally everything. but lately that everything had become gloomy, it wasn’t sweet, crazy teenager things mixed with being a hero it was… the ugly face of life kept well hidden under that.
everything was so good, but it wasn’t supposed to be like that right? he was Spiderman, he had an amazing girlfriend, i.e, you, school had gone good and Ned, his best friend who knew about his secret identity had actually helped him rather than running away. things were great; and he knew they shouldn’t be.
he lied down and rested his head in his arms. he exhaled deeply and closed his eyes, remembering that exact memory.
‘you see kid, when you become like us.’ tony pointed at himself. ‘you sign up for a really heavy weight being slammed up on your shoulders. I know you’re strong peter, but you gotta be really careful from now on. you have the weight of the whole world on your shoulders now and especially your loved ones.’ he looked at peter who was listening carefully but couldn’t quite understand what he had meant by the last line. ‘the bad guys, always find your weaknesses.’
the sudden ringing of his phone snapped him back to where he was. he sat right up and saw it was another missed call from you. after further scrolling and searching he saw how many messages you had sent him.
“no one’s home, make it quick and we can cuddle and make out.”
“taking too long, parker. be quick.”
“hmmm, let me see if Ned’s free.” was the latest message. he quickly called you.
‘i’ll be right there, don’t call that horn dog!’ he said urgently. your familiar chuckle answered, he knew you must be shaking your head at him too.
‘i’m way too loyal and in love with you to do that, mon amour.’ you said. he blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. he replied with a shy ‘yeah.’ and you grinned.
‘now, get your cute butt over here so that we can cuddle till we have time. see you, babe. love you.’
‘love you too.’ he smiled looking down.
No bed made covered in silk sheets, pillows filled with the softest feathers, could provide peter the comforts you did when you let him use yourself as a pillow while you massaged his head or ran your fingers through his hair. he nuzzled in your chest and you jerked up. he looked at you questioningly.
‘your hair tickled me nothing else.’ you patted his head. he returned to his position grinning.
‘they’re just, very nice.’ he looked at you grinning slyly before kissing you. ‘do I ever get a chance to..’ he trailed off and gave you that look of his no one lese got to saw. that smug, lusty look you hated but also loved.
‘fuck off, parker.’ you pushed him away laughing. he was quick to get close to you again.
‘I just mean no one’s home, you’re clearly not on your period, it’s a nice evening. everything points in that direction!’ he threw his arms in the air for emphasis. you covered your face to hide your burning face and lied down laughing.
‘oh my god, I hate you!’ you laughed. he got on top of you and pulled your hands away from your face.
‘no, you don’t.’ you both stayed in that position before he smiled deviously at you.
‘peter, no.’ you warned.
‘PETER YES!’ he shouted and started tickling you mercilessly. he couldn’t help but laugh himself as you tried to containing your laughter or push him away.
‘I love you, I don’t wanna hurt you! get off!’ you pushed at his chest as you panted. he stopped, huffed and rolled of you. ‘you’re an asshole.’ you panted.
‘i’m amazing, look I told you i’ll leave you tired and panting if you give me the chance.’ he said and you hit him with a pillow. he chuckled and lied beside you, pulling you in his chest. ‘i’m sorry, you bring out all my crazy.’ he kissed the top of your head. you mumbled something before you closed your eyes. he smiled at you and brushed away the stray hairs from your forehead. he loved you so much, he wished he’d never have to loose you and this moment could freeze here so that you two could stay like this forever.
‘the bad guys, always find your weaknesses.’
the words came back to him. Mr. Stark was right, it was his responsibility to protect you. he couldn’t put you in danger, aunt may had seen him in the costume and he couldn’t risk another person knowing about his identity or becoming a target because of him. He had made enemies on this journey and he had to take all the measures possible. he couldn’t lose more people, it hurts too much. Plus it doesn’t help when you are the reason your loved ones get hurt.
he sighed and looked at your peaceful sleeping face again, he didn’t want to do it. for once, he didnt want to be the self- sacrificing hero. he kissed your forehead one last time, got up and left.
the days passed away slowly and painfully, Peter wouldn’t talk properly to you. it was like something was bothering him, like a sad cloud was following him everywhere. then you finally asked him what was wrong, you really wish you hadn’t. or he hadn’t said what he did.
he looked at you trying to look strong and tough. only heaven knew what was going inside the poor boy’s head.
‘just tell me. please.’ you held his hand to provide him some strength but it only made it worse. he didn’t want to do it, he just wanted to hug you and never let you go but it things rarely happen the way you want them to. you cant have everything in the world.
‘I, I just think that we don't work well together. it’s not you it’s all me. i’m an idiot. i wish it didn’t have to happen and I am very, very sorry.’ he stopped abruptly so that his voice wouldn’t crack. you were taken a back, you throat went dry and you just wanted to cry.
you clenched your jaw in response and looked down. you never thought you would cry about a break but damn, it hurt. you nodded and rubbed your eyes.
‘I-’ he tried to step closer to you but you kept a hand in front.
‘goodbye, peter.’ you said with a voice devoid of any emotions and walked away.
you were hating this all so much, it hurt so much losing the person you thought cared about you. he had become some sort of a comfort blanket for you, you were left so vulnerable after that comfort blanket was ripped off from you.
you were walking away from the craft store to your home. you liked to take walks and occupy your brain with art so that you could feel better, it was like your own little therapy. suddenly, you heard some footsteps behind you. you started walking faster and they followed you, you were starting to think the worst but they were suddenly gone.
you turned around and saw that a man with a knife was webbed to the wall of the building. a relief washed over you, you took a deep breath and eased the grip of the bag in your hands.
‘you’re okay right?’ the red suit wearing superhero asked you.
‘yeah, i’m good.’ you ran a hand through your hair. he jumped down the building and hugged you tightly. ‘thank god.’ he breathed. you found it rather awkward and lightly patted his back. ‘it’s-’ you suddenly stopped. it was all too familiar, the voice, the tight hug….. ‘peter?’ you breathed.
‘ye- what? who peter?’ he sked and backed away. ‘i’m sorry girly, you mistake me for-’
‘peter parker, shut up.’ you shouted and he stopped. he punched the man hard to knock him out on his way to you.
‘(y/n), listen, I-’
‘the hell are you doing, peter?’ tears welled up in your eyes. ‘you leave me, then you follow me, then you turn out to be fucking spiderman, i mean what are you doing?’ your voice cracked. ‘do you know, how much it hurts when someone leaves you like that? it feels like you are the worst person in the world, and you know me, you know how I struggle with some things yet you left me. like everyone else.’ tears started flowing and you tried your best to wipe them all away. peter had never seen you cry, it broke his heart that he was the reason behind your tears. ‘you could’ve ripped my heart out, it wouldn’t hurt this much.’ you rubbed your eyes.
‘I am so sorry, (y/n).’ he kept a hand on your cheek. ‘I am just trying to keep you safe.’ he joined his forehead with yours. ‘I wish I didn’t have to do this.’ after saying this, he put on his mask shoot a web and was gone with a gust of wind.
he collapsed on his knees once he got in his room, it hurt so much. the knife wound on his back wasn’t as painful as much as his chest was aching with a broken heart. he took off his mask and stared it for a few minutes before throwing it against the wall. he changed quickly and curled up in his bed. but hell it wasn’t as effective as you. he hurt you and he hated it, he will eventually hurt everyone like this and he hated. it. he couldn’t save everyone.
‘peter? sweetie you, okay?’ aunt may creeked open the door. she knew he hadn’t been doing well lately.
‘no.’ he said, his voice empty. ‘I am not okay, may.’ she walked to him and sat on his bed, rubbing his arm to comfort him.
‘(y/n)?’ she asked.
‘I hurt her really bad.’ he covered his face in the blanket. superheroes don’t cry.
‘it’ll all be okay, don’t worry.’ she ran her hand through his hair and sighed.
1. If we ask you if you’re mad at us, or if you’re still friends with us, please realize that it is NOT a reflection of you. You didn’t do anything wrong. Our illness is constantly telling us you’ll leave us, or that you see us as burdens. Sometimes we need to hear confirmation from you to ease our anxiety. So please, please don’t be upset with us.
2. Recognize that it’s hard for us to maintain contact with others, even our best friends. Again, our illnesses tell us that if you really want to spend time with us, you’ll ask us. We’re terrified that you just hang out with us out of pity. So when you text us first or ask us to hang out first, that’s proof to us that you actually want to see us.
3. Text us every once in a while. Little gestures like that remind us that you still consider us your friends. And receiving a message like that, even if it’s something simple like a silly anecdote, really makes our day.
4. Understand that our mood swings are very difficult to manage. Even when we know it doesn’t logically make sense for us to be depressed/anxious/angry/etc about something, we can’t control our emotions, no matter how hard we try. Trying to use logic to show that our emotions are irrational doesn’t help. So be patient with us, while recognizing that you aren’t responsible for managing our emotions.
5. Sometimes we decide to take breaks from drinking, so please keep that in mind before asking us to drink. Alcohol can worsen our symptoms if we drink too much, especially when we relapse. I only drink if I feel it’s safe for me to do so. But sometimes I won’t drink for months because I’m not doing well and I know alcohol will only make it worse. If I tell you I’m not drinking for personal reasons because I’m struggling with my illness, please don’t forget that and definitely don’t pressure me.
6. Help us set boundaries with you. Sometimes I’ll be clingy and want your attention all the time. Other times I’ll be distant and need space from everyone. These changes might be confusing for you because they happen without reason. Be honest with us and let us know if we’re too far on either extreme.
7. For reasons I don’t completely understand, a lot of us with BPD hate being touched. This is also true for some survivors of sexual assault or abuse, and a lot of people with BPD have been sexually assaulted or abused before. Ask us if it’s okay for you to put your arm around us or hug us, especially when we’re in distress.
8. If you’re making plans with mutual friends of ours but aren’t inviting us, please don’t talk about these plans in front of us. It may well be that you aren’t inviting us because we’re busy and can’t make it anyway, or you know we won’t enjoy the outing (for example, if you’re going to hike and we hate exercise of any kind). However, if you’re getting a group together of people we know and could hang out with, we’ll feel especially isolated when we aren’t invited. We’re constantly looking for signs that our friends will abandon us, or don’t want us around, or secretly hate us. We’ll wonder why we weren’t invited, and this is especially triggering for us.
9. If we text you something that warrants a response (like a question or a personal issue), please do your best to text us back as soon as you can. When a friend doesn’t reply, especially a friend who frequently checks their phone, I interpret this as evidence that I’m worthless to them. It may well be that they’re busy, or that they didn’t receive the message, or that they just forgot to respond. Again, though I recognize that these are the most likely scenarios, I can’t stop myself from feeling this is a sign that she’s going to abandon me.
10. Not everyone with BPD will act out (like accusing you of abandoning us or starting an argument) or use manipulating behaviors, but some of us do. And we feel extremely bad about this. Right after we start an argument, we spiral into self-loathing about it. We know that acting out is bad. We don’t actually want to hurt or manipulate you. We struggle with our overwhelming emotions and while we can’t suppress these emotions, with help we CAN learn to express and manage them in healthy ways. And again, not everyone with BPD will act out.There are mentally healthy people who manipulate others and feel perfectly fine in doing so, and there are mentally ill people who act out under extreme distress, feel immensely guilty about it, and do what they can to stop these behaviors.