please dont send me messages like this again

“I hate fujoshi! if you’re female and you like yaoi, you’re fetishizing gay men and you’re a bad person!”

Look I really don’t wanna answer any more asks about this topic or respond to any more hate being directed at me or my friends, so allow me to put this issue to rest as best I can because I can’t believe this is the discourse I’m dealing with in 2017.

There’s this thing that happens sometimes where gay men watch straight porn. Yup, that’s a real thing some people do, I’ve seen it happen. It doesn’t make the person doing it any less gay; he can be aroused by something without projecting himself into it personally. If he only wants sexual and romantic relationships with other men and he identifies as gay, he’s still gay.

And when it’s drawn images like hentai, yaoi and yuri, that’s even further removed from reality. I read all kinds of stuff in doujinshi I don’t wanna recreate in real life. It’s purely a fantasy. Erotica does not need to be self-insert to be enjoyed, at least not for everyone.

So there are straight men and gay women who like yaoi, or gay men and straight women who like yuri. Heck, you can even be asexual and enjoy porn - human sexuality is beautifully weird and complex like that.

None of these things are a fetish. They’re normal, healthy human sexual behavior. Sex is sexy - sometimes it’s really just that simple. (Besides, if you’re attracted to men or women, doesn’t it stand to reason that two are better than one? Seems like common sense to me.)

A fetish is sexual arousal caused by non sexual body parts, objects or actions, so sex is ruled out right off the bat. Sex is not a fetish.

So using that to justify your hate and harassment of female yaoi fans is already a huge pile of bullshit. Fujoshi hate is just policing women for their sexualities, and is steeped in a history of misogyny. The word fujoshi exists in the first place because women are shamed for having “deviant” sexual interests, but that irony seems lost on a lot of you.

“But you’re only shipping those characters because they’re gay, my sexuality isn’t your fetish!!!” Listen, I can’t speak for anyone else, but if I ship two characters together it’s probably because I like both of them and like the way they interact, it really has fuck all to do with whether they’re a gay couple, straight couple, lesbian couple or anything else. And it has even less to do with YOU, internet stranger whom I’ve never met, or your sexuality or your relationships, all of which I couldn’t possibly know anything about.

You have a problem with some of the harmful tropes common in yaoi? Cool, so do I. We can have a respectful discussion about those tropes, if you want.

You’ve seen fujoshi being homophobic? Call them out on it. Specific people, specific behaviors - not blanket generalizations that attack a huge group of people you’ve never met.

You’re not a bad person if you’re female and like yaoi. You’re not a bad person if you’re male and like yuri. Judge people based on how they treat others. That’s it.

If you still don’t get it after this, I have nothing else to say to you.

5

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