please be slytherin

anonymous asked:

Dating Draco headcanons? For the giveaway please! GO SLYTHERIN HOUSSS

Originally posted by rickdixonandthefandomlifeposts

  • Draco presented you with a monogrammed bracelet for your one month anniversary, which he remembered & you didn’t. The bracelet has his initials, of course. “Why would you want one with your own initials?”
  • He charges you 1 Galleon every single time you make a self-depreciating comment or joke, and during every Hogsmeade trip he gives you the money back - forcing you to use it to buy one item of self care or something that makes you happy. 
  • He charmed his pillow so that it smells of you on the nights that you’re apart.
  • He throws an absolute tantrum at the mention of any plans you’ve made that don’t involve him.”But Draco, it’s just a Doctor’s appointment.”
  • He once refused to play a Quidditch game, because you couldn’t attend, causing Slytherin to forfeit the entire match.
  • He waits for you every morning in the Common Room to escort you to the Great Hall for breakfast. If you’ve overslept, he brings your favorite food to you, in bed, and lectures you on why you ‘really must get more sleep so you can be at your healthiest, princess.’
  • He took a cane lashing from his father upon first bringing you home because his father refused to greet you properly and he spoke up, not willing to tolerate you being disrespected by anyone. 
  • Before the Yule Ball he arranged for Narcissa to take you for a formal dress fitting. He made sure to have a bouquet and card waiting for you at the shoppe and he paid extra to see to it that the seamstress provided an excessive amount of compliments whilst you were trying things on because he knows you lack confidence. 
  • On your Birthday each year, he rents out Madam Puddifoot’s Tea Shop so that you can host a private brunch with your friends whilst he tends to the last of your party preparations. 
  • Draco had overheard you say “I’ve always wanted a guy that would send me flowers for no reason at all, you know, just because it’s Wednesday” to your best mate during 3rd year and he took it quite literally, so now you find roses on your nightstand every Wednesday morning like clockwork. 
  • He uses “Spektor Crawley’s Slimey Hand Salve” before holding your hand because he knows how much you hate when they get sweaty. 
  • He still blushes every single time he see’s you. Occasionally, when you hold eye contact for just a little too long, he loses his train of thought and stumbles over his words. 
  • He says “tu me manques” instead of “I miss you” because that’s french for “You are missing from me” and he finds that better suited and he’s a total sap
  • He cuts your food for you each night when you’re having dinner, despite your many protests, because “a lady should never have to serve herself.”
  • Don’t act like Narcissa didn’t raise him to stand until you’ve sat at the table and to open doors for you because you best believe my boy is chivalrous twat.
  • He knows you’re a smart student but he insists on revising with you because he’s fascinated by your intellect and frankly, just loves hearing you talk. 
  • Let’s not forget that one time when Cormac touched your butt and ended up in the Hospital wing.
  • He gets extremely insecure when he feels as if he doesn’t know everything about you. “What do you mean you don’t know if your second toe is longer than your Big Toe?”
  • He’s so possessive that he can sometimes be accusatory over the weirdest things. “All I’m saying is that you didn’t have that freckle last time I saw you and suddenly it’s there!”
  • He gushes about you so much that the lads have given him a very specific rule; he’s only allowed to talk about you once daily for ‘no more than twenty minutes’ but its not like he gives a damn.
  • After sex he always slips you a small piece of parchment with a survey on it that reads ‘was that good for you? circle: yes or no’
Houses as Tiny Turn Ons
  • Gryffindors: People who lean back against walls with one shoulder while they talk.
  • Hufflepuffs: Hugs that linger just a bit because neither of you really want to let go.
  • Ravenclaws: Someone leaning towards you from their desk to help you with a question/problem.
  • Slytherin: That 'accidental' slip of their gaze from your eyes to your lips as you're talking.

you know what would have been great? if ron got sorted into slytherin.

imagine– we have this kid on the train, the first friend harry meets, with his corned beef sandwiches and smudged nose. ron is eleven years old and he wants gryffindor, because he’s a weasley and that’s what always happens. but it doesn’t happen.

what a way to redeem slytherin house– or, god, at least complicate it. because ron is petty. he is mean and sharp and ambitious and jealous– and he is loyal to the ends of the earth. he is all those things, and he is and always has been good.

potter becomes before weasley in the alphabet, so harry says not slytherin please and gets told might as well be gryffindor. percy and fred and george are all sitting there in red and gold, ruffling the already-ruffled hair of the boy who lived, smug, and then ron sits down and the hat spits out slytherin!

c'mon it’d be fun. just imagine–

  • the weasleys freaking out– but even that first christmas molly sends him a sweater in beautiful green and silver.

  • snape taking points from gryffindor when ron breaks rules or mouths off. “i’m in your house.” “hm, couldn’t tell which weasley it was…” /drifts away

  • sitting with harry in potions and in flying– whatever classes they happen to share. meeting up to study. scarfing down their breakfasts at separate tables so they can go hang out in the empty classrooms before the day starts. hermione reads while they play exploding snap.
    • the trio signing up for all the same electives third year. this friendship being something they earn and work for; not just the one that looked easiest. (not to bash canon ron&harry, the bros to end all bros, but by putting this very obvious obstacle between them– it makes it that much clearer to the reader that this is a love worth fighting for, because they’re fighting for it).
    • ron being jealous that harry and hermione get to share this house, this home, these hours, while he’s stuck with malfoy and parkinson and goyle– because that would eat him up some days, some months, this insecure kid who’s been the last at everything all his life. this kid who always leaves and always comes back.

  • ron, who constantly compares himself to his brothers– not as smart, not as popular, not as good. one more nail in that coffin, here, yeah? he’s not a prefect, not a quidditch star, not a troublemaker– and even when he becomes those things, someone else has always gotten there first
    • well, i guess he got to this house first at least

  • ron still snaps at snape in potions, after hermione’s been ignored three times, “you know, sir, i think hermione might know the answer.” he still pulls the bars off harry’s window with a stolen, flying car. he still shows harry around the burrow shyly, not knowing what a wonder a warm home is. he still stands up in the shrieking shack as best as he can with a broken leg and tells a mass murderer that if he wants harry he’ll have to go through him first. 
    • ron weasley is a lot of things, but one of them is absolutely a true friend.

  • in their second year:
    • when everyone calls harry the heir, they eye ron at his side and sniff.
    • when hermione lays petrified in the medical ward, ron sits at her side and reads her homework assignments aloud and thinks my house this was my house
    • when ron hugs ginny’s damp, shaking frame after the chamber, ron says sorry and sorry and are you okay and i’m so sorry and ginny calls him an idiot.

  • the trio spends more time in the library with hermione, since ron can’t come to gryffindor tower to study, and homework remains a thing that has to happen. fred and george constantly try to sneak him into the tower anyway. 
    • “c'mon, ronnykins, you belong here, you deserve it, no one’s gonna fuss, it’s your BIRTHRIGHT,” and ron fusses and rolls his eyes at them
    • and then in fourth year in one of those periods where he’s not talking to harry and harry’s not talking to him– he just snaps at the twins
      • because it’s not, alright?
      • not his birthright, not his house, and maybe no one would fuss if he snuck in, maybe no one would care, and that makes it worse not better, because then he’s just that weasley who should’ve been gryffindor
      • and isn’t
    • (and harry overhears this caterwauling, feels his heart fall to his toes, and goes and awkwardly asks ron if he wants to go a few laps on his firebolt). 
    • (because, god, harry-the-chosen-one, harry-in-the-cupboard-under-the-stairs, harry-who’ll-save-us-all– he knows what it’s like to have should have beens on your shoulders, and he knows what it’s like to not be wanted).

  • ron cheers for gryffindor during quidditch matches in those first few years, and sits with hagrid and hermione and neville. harry’s seeker, and fred and george are beaters, and ginny becomes chaser eventually, and honestly screw the slytherin team. they have each and every one of them said disparaging things about ron’s mother.
    • harry and hermione badger ron into trying out for keeper fourth year; he and harry have been practicing on the quidditch pitch because its a non-library-shaped place to hang out where both of them are allowed. ron makes the slytherin roster, and malfoy grudgingly provides ron a team broom after the captain chews him out for a bit.
      • “he may be a weasley, but he’s our keeper, don’t you want to win, draco”
    • but the sort of things they spit in the locker room, the words the players hiss or snigger, the slurs that come easy to their tongues– ron would like to say that he considered just walking out of the cesspit, but instead he snipes and sasses and shouts and sometimes tries to spell slugs at the worst of them. 
      • it doesn’t do much, that one irritated voice of protest– except that it does. and he’s got a new (hand-me-down) wand, after the gilderoy fiasco, so the slugs even come out the right end.
    • fred gives him a black eye with a bludger one time (though ron does manage to block the quaffle) and molly sends a howler to gryffindor table with the morning post. (“RON DID YOU TATTLE”) (“IT WAS CLEARLY PERCY, FRED, SIT DOWN”)
      • (the weasleys often have family conversations across the great hall, with hufflepuffs and ravenclaws covering their ears long-sufferingly between them)

  • in the lake, it’s still ron hanging there in the water, still and bloated. it’s still harry’s heart that stutters in his chest, for all it’s just a game, just a game, just a game, right?

  • ron listens hard and tries to talk himself out of fist fights, all that next year in the slytherin common room as they read aloud rita skeeter articles.

  • when hermione calls dumbledore’s army to its first session in that pub, there are green scarves in that crowd– ron and one of the beaters who ron’s gotten to help glare to rest of the slytherin quidditch team into submission.

  • ron beats draco to being prefect (i think i remember it was dumbledore and not mcgonagall who seemed to award prefect status– snape doesn ’t get a say).
    • percy is SO PROUD, as usual, but so are fred and george. “did you see the little malfoy git? green with shame, my god.”

  • when harry has the dream about sirius, ron isn’t there to wake. but when draco’s pulled out of bed to be a professional bully– er, i mean inquisitorial squad member– ron follows at a careful distance and curses draco from behind. 
    • they ride thestrals over london. harry finds the prophecy and ron thinks about the sorts of things that get decided at your birth.  
    • sirius black was a son of slytherin who had a lion living in his chest that he couldn’t hide away. 
    • ron was meant to be gryffindor, and through a haze of injury and fear he watches sirius die just out of harry’s reach.

  • just imagine: ron with his temper and his sharp words and his fierce loyalty. ron who looks into the mirror of erised and sees house cups and prefect badges and ambitions earned– he could belong in slytherin. there is nothing wrong with wanting things, and he wants them so bad.

  • there are so many reasons to fight a war, and so many ways. harry and his sacrifices, his loving resignation. hermione’s good right hook and bottomless bag of supplies. luna, brilliant and a bit batty. lee jordan’s radio and mcgonagall’s burning patience and brittle, certain bones.

  • just imagine: when the last battle comes, there is a slytherin on the field who is not snape.

  • when draco and his parents walk away, in that last battle, ron–
    • who slept in the same dormitory as the boy for six years
    • who heard draco’s nightmares and saw him paling and desperate all sixth year
    • who is as pureblooded as lucius’s spoiled whelp
    • who remembers grimacing at the thought of squibs
    • who has known magic all his life
    • who spotted draco penning letters home to his mother every sunday and hiding them when the other boys could see–
    • ron sees them going.
      • he sounds no alarms. he says no farewells.
      • he turns back to his friends, and his fight, and lets them be.

  • just imagine: when harry kneels on the train platform and his second son asks him “but what if i get sorted slytherin, dad?” harry can say, “the bravest man i ever knew was in slytherin house. whatever you are, wherever you go, we’re going to be so proud of you." 
    • and they can both gaze over to where ron is squawking beside his daughter’s trolley of luggage because crookshanks (who will live to be forty eight million years old) has latched onto his shins with a violent fondness.
Houses as things I've Said

Gryffindor: *listens to news report on how our phones give off the same chemicals as marijuana in the brain* Ha! Yo Chris, pass the phone.

Hufflepuff: If I’m not up by 11:40 make sure the fishes have a balanced breakfast.

Ravenclaw: Got water?
Yeah I’m 65% water.
Okay, but how do I drink you?

Slytherin: *Me buying 3 packs of 72 ego waffles* Shut up Alan! I have needs that you’ll never understand! You could never understand.

Hufflepuff: I am so awake and ready for the day, the sun is beautiful and I am so happy to be alive.

Slytherin: I’ve had 30 minutes of sleep for the last five days and I can smell sounds. Please kill me.

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Harry Potter pt.2 // houses✨

In which house are you? I would like to get to know you guys better!🤗( I am a Slytherin😌 )

• please like if you save or screenshot
• feel free to request your ideas
• follow for more lockscreens

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💚

Homestuck/Harry Potter cross-fandom survey

Im really curious to see if theres any common correlation between these two things, so please reblog this post and tell me your Sburb class & aspect and your hogwarts house.

Hogwarts houses for the signs (imo!)
  • Aries: Gryffindor or Slytherin (bold, intelligent)
  • Taurus: Hufflepuff or Gryffindor (homely, stubborn)
  • Gemini: hard to decide but Ravenclaw, Slytherin (chatty, intelligent, manipulative)
  • Cancer: Hufflepuff or Slytherin (imaginative, sensitive)
  • Leo: Gryffindor or Slytherin (proud, loyal, brave)
  • Virgo: Ravenclaw (organised, intelligent)
  • Libra: Hufflepuff, ravenclaw or slytherin (intelligent, kind, manipulative // this one is really hard to decide because libras can be quite the chameleons)
  • Scorpio: Slytherin or Hufflepuff (intense, sensitive, can be very protective of those they love)
  • Sagittarius: Gryffindor, Slytherin
  • Capricorn: Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Slytherin (loyal, very hard-working, don't want to cross them!)
  • Aquarius: Ravenclaw (intellectual, very much ideas based minds)
  • Pisces: Slytherin (emotional, can be manipulative)
JACK LAURENT ZIMMERMANN IS A HUFFLEPUFF I WILL FIGHT YOU

1) Damn right he’s “unafraid of toil”. How does he accomplish things? By working his BUTT off. Extra practices, extra training, 24/7 focus on his goal.

2) Community building. What’s most important to a Hufflepuff is their community and the people around them. Jack Zimmermann has given himself body, heart, and soul to hockey (and eventually to SMH). Everything he does, he does for them. This could look like a Slytherin, but unless you think Jack was like ”I’m going to train you until you’re not afraid of checking so that *I* can win at hockey” rather than, “I’m going to train you until THIS TEAM is the best it can be,” that’s a Puff move. 

3) Loyalist rather than idealist. Jack doesn’t wholeheartedly throw himself into hockey and history and SMH because he thinks it’s the “right thing to do” (Gryffindor) or the “smartest way to accomplish his goals” (Ravenclaw). He LOVES THE SHIT OUTTA THAT STUFF. It’s totally subjective and personal. 

4) Self-blame. This I’m taking from personal experience, as a Hufflepuff. A Puff’s tendency to try to see things from both sides of the story is great, and tends to make for a very empathetic person. HOWEVER, this can lead to a lot of guilt, confusion, and ultimately self-blame. Someone hates you? They probably have their reasons, because they are a person and deserve empathy…which to me, means that I have done something to make someone hate me. This is the dark side of the Hufflepuff people-oriented lifestyle–you can’t always control what people are going to think, feel, and say, and you feel responsible for it. Jack Zimmermann, hockey legacy, “fallen from grace” because he pushed himself just too damn far…shouldering total responsibility when his team loses. Ouch. Sure he lashes out sometimes, like “Bittle, it was a lucky shot”, but who doesn’t, when they feel the full responsibility crashing down on them and feel as if the infinite hard work they put into something doesn’t actually pay off?


You know who ISN’T a Hufflepuff??? ERIC RICHARD BITTLE. YES THAT’S RIGHT, SHOCKING, IT TAKES MORE TO BE A HUFFLEPUFF THAN BAKING THINGS AND BEING GENERALLY NICE TO PEOPLE. 

Bitty is a Slytherin and I will fight you on this too here’s why:

1) Fiercely loyal to HIS people. “Everyone else is a person, but so are they, so a Slytherin’s job, before everything else, is taking care of them and theirs.” This can look like a Hufflepuff, sure: taking care of the frogs, baking and feeding everyone, fussing over his friends…but Hufflepuffs treat EVERYONE as a human being worthy of kindness and respect, regardless of if they are close friends or strangers. We have a tendency towards forgive and forget (within reason). For Slytherins, it’s them and their people against the world. 

THAT is a Slytherin. Someone came in and threatened HIS PERSON. He’s not looking to give him the benefit of the doubt, he showed up and upset Jack and did god knows what to him in the past, he is DEAD TO BITTY. 

2) Takes action because HIS PEOPLE need him. This is directly from Sorting Hat Chats (see below) “When Nursey and Dex are at each other’s throats, disrupting team harmony, it’s only his baby goalie Chowder’s distress that drives Bitty to care at all.” Hufflepuffs are always there for a person in need, whether it be friend, stranger, or enemy (within reason). Bitty is gonna mother the shit out of Dex when he’s sick because Dex is SICK and Bitty can and WILL take care of him whether he likes it or not.

3) Slytherin loyalty is earned. While sure, Bitty enters SMH pies a-blazing (you know what I mean), he does not instantly throw his loyalty in with the boys. For Slytherins, you EARN friendship, trust, and loyalty. Look at the first comics, in Year 1. Bitty doesn’t feel bonded with any of the team at first, and considers quitting (and perhaps would have, if not for his scholarship and having to explain to his dad). He especially can’t stand Jack, and hates putting in all the extra work for checking practice even though he knows it’ll benefit the team and himself (compare this with Jack, who THRIVES on extra hard work and completely puts his faith in toiling over something to achieve his goals). Here’s the first time we see Bitty actually reach out a hand of friendship (literally heheh, yay fistbumps), once he’s been confronted with the unavoidable truth that Jack is actually a person with his own problems. We got there eventually, but while Hufflepuffs come from an assumed place of empathy and caring, Slytherins need to get there in their own time.

TL;DR: Slytherin loyalty and friendship is something that you earn from the bottom up, but once you have it DAMN they have no chill. 


Wow this got super long and took me forever. Oops. I am passionate about Check Please and Harry Potter I guess? 

Quotes and many opinions taken from the Sorting Hat Chats, if you’re a HP fan and you haven’t checked it out YOU SHOULD! It takes the sorting WAY beyond “brave, smart, nice, and evil” and gives you actual personalities. I AM MORE THAN MILDLY OBSESSED WITH IT.