playing the victim

This girl use to be a friend until she defended a racist who came to a black neighborhood to terrorize them. A black community member physically defended himself.
She of course shamed him, and said he had no right to defend himself from this racist.
We argued. She didn’t listen and continued to tell me a black women how to react to racist white people, and oppression.
Of course she patronized. Didn’t listen. I got frustrated.
Then a black women, and a friend of my mine came to my defense.
We argued with her. She continued to use her privilege.
Then she had the nerve to use MLK as a reason for black people to be passive towards their white oppressors.
I unfriended her.
She DM me this.
After using anti black stereotypes against me.
You know…. The one where she looks like the victimized white girl while I’m the scary angry black girl who was picking on/bullying her.
Before I could reply she blocked me.
Now listen. It’s not like I wasn’t going to do the same. But before I could defend myself against that stereotype, and for her not to continue looking like the victim as these white girls love to be. She blocked me. 😂😂
It’s all good. Cuz I’m petty.
‘Twerks in pettiness.’
I screenshot the DM.
Sent a fb post out to all our friends, yes we share some friends, with this screen shot, and my response.
Cuz you know. I won’t let her set the narrative or get the last word.
All my legions of black girls came out…y'all are amazing, and defended me.
Dragged her on fb.
And we continued to #blackgirlmagic on that white entitled shit.
And of course we defended MLKs honor as a Black 'radical’ civil rights leader..and black revolutionary.
And Not this one dimensional iconoclastic imagery created by a white supremacist, and white nationalist state.

me: haha people who play victim are so stupid!!

crash, claus, my ex crush, or literally anyone: *has actual proof of me abusing people*

me: iitits s not myy faultltt iiit was  smy mentlal disordoeror uwuwuuwuwuwuwuwuwu God im so full of shit

Victim Blaming 2.0

Dear Tumblr,

I received an ask about this, so here we go. 

Things that ARE victim blaming:

- “its your fault”

- “how could you do this to me/us”

- “You brought this on yourself by doing [x]”

- punishing the victim for being a victim

Things that are NOT victim blaming:

- safety tips for preventing a crime (this includes lists of areas and activities to avoid/take a friend if you’re going there)

- teaching self defense or encouraging the teaching of self defense

- requiring proof of a crime in order to prosecute

- doubting a crime was committed in the absence of evidence

- being angry at being lied to

There is a massive difference between being a victim and playing the victim. Telling you to watch out for yourself, or ignoring the claims of a proven liar, is not victim blaming. You cannot victim blame someone who is not a victim. 


When You Try and Bring Up Hurtful or Abusive Behaviour, Do They Immediately Turn It Around and Play the Victim?

Gaslighting Is a Common Victim-Blaming Abuse Tactic – Here Are 4 Ways to Recognize It in Your Life by Kris Nelson

Another way to manipulate someone into thinking that they’re not experiencing harm or abuse is to constantly turn the conversation towards the abuser, making it seem like you are doing harm by even bringing up what’s hurting you.

If someone in your life cannot (or will not) let you speak to your experiences, and instead insists on turning it into a conversation about themselves, the conversation is not a healthy one.

Some red flag phrases for this tactic are:

“You always make me out to be the bad guy.”

“Constantly bringing stuff like this up makes me feel bad/is hurtful to me.”

“I’m actually the one hurting.”

“You don’t know what abuse is. Saying that I’m abusive is hurtful to me.”

“Pretending I’m hurtful/abusive makes you the bully.”

If these phrases are a constant in your life, if you feel like you’ve been conditioned into mistrusting your own memories and experiences, you have most likely been the victim of gaslighting.
Aussie Man In India Threatened With Skinning Over Tattoo Of Goddess
Aussie Man In India Threatened With Skinning Over Tattoo Of Goddess

“An Aussie man travelling through India was threatened with skinning, detained in a police station, and allegedly forced to write a letter of apology, all because he had a tattoo of the Hindu goddess Yellamma on his leg. Matthew Gordon, 21, and his girlfriend Emily Kassianou, 20, are one month into a six-month trip around India. 

Last Saturday they were lunching at a popular restaurant in Bangalore when men sitting at another table began to photograph and video them. “When I asked them to stop, they confronted us about Matt’s leg, saying he should be skinned,” Emily told Indian newspaper Deccan Chronicle. 

When they tried to leave the restaurant, the men - who were now joined by a police officer - were waiting outside.“The cop joined in with the politicians,” said Emily. “He said ‘This is India, have the tattoo removed’.” Deccan Chronicle reports that the complainant said they had simply asked Matt to wear jeans, and that Matt had responded with profanities, which is why the police were called. “

wow…it’s almost as though being white and getting a tattoo of something sacred to another culture, then attempting to enter that culture with said tattoo on display, might herald consequences……