player's choice

I can't believe its not butter

After defeating a boss:

DM: “You open up the chest to find it is filled with gold bars.”
Fighter: “I want to try cutting it with my sickle to see if it’s real.”
Critical Success
DM: “You cut through it like butter”
Rogue: “Is it butter?”
Rogue licks bar
DM: “Give me a nature check to see if you know what butter tastes like”
DM: “You think it tastes exactly like butter”

Griffin’s evolution as a DM

Here There Be Gerblins: Okay, let’s give this a go…I’m not going to have fun, but we’ll follow the book and see where it goes from there.

Moonlighting: Fuck the book, let’s get some original plot and NPCs up in the mix.

Murder On The Rockport Limited: All right, we’ve got the plot, time to get this show on the road. We need more puzzles and mystery though…how about a full-fledged murder mystery with an adorable boy detective?


Crystal Kingdom: The plot is about to get wild and mysterious as fuck up in here, every NPC has a huge backstory, and there are going to be big consequences for the players’ choices. Also, I fell in love with the boy detective.

The Eleventh Hour: Time to get these players into an open world where they can really make their own choices and develop their characters as they have to face their own mortality and regrets. But then I’m going to turn everything we think we know about these characters on its head. Also, everyone is gay and/or non-binary.

The Suffering Game: *cracks knuckles* …I’m going to just wreck these fools.

I'm morbidly curious...

Context - We were looking through our inventories to see how much food we had left.

Druid: “Oh yeah, I forgot about these weird mushrooms I picked up forever ago.”

DM: “OH MY GAWD. Just EAT one already, I’ve been waiting forever for that.”

Druid: “But I still don’t know what THEY DO.”

DM: “If you don’t eat them soon, they’re going to HATCH.”

Entire Party: “….. W A I T.  W H A T????”

What we had…
Whatever we had, surprised us both.
It burned hotter, and went way farther than either of us had expected.
What we had was real.

What we had…
Whatever we had, was hidden in secrets and lies.
Not only did it break you and I,
But it broke her too.

What we had…
Whatever we had, didn’t last long.
Like a train coming to a quick stop,
You were there and then you were gone.
You were never mine to keep.

What we had…
Whatever we had, I think its safe to say we’ll never have it back.
But the lingering “what if” remains in our thoughts.
So well go about our lives loving other people…
But thinking of each other.

Context: in our group we have a half-orc barbarian/fighter who is literally a wall because he has a AC of 20,an int and wis of 7 and 8 respectively, and a charisma modifier of +4.

Barbarian: (trying to woo a bar wench and rolls a 19) YOURE PRETTY
Dm: you woo her so hard she gives you her panties as a token of her affection.
Barbarian: I eat them…

How do I dragon?

So, we had a pc Dragon knight who worked his way up to being a dragoon and eventually gained NPC status as a dragon. He was never really taught how to be a dragon. It never occurred to him that he could make deals for souls. So, when someone gave him the idea to try and he got curious. So he made a deal with a degenerate, xenophobic hic who got himself killed a day later. 

So, Maalik has this soul in a jar in front of him and pokes the jar.

“You’re going to give me diarrhea, aren’t you, you little shit.”

Okay so, I’ve been a huge fan of Pokémon for YEARS and I have never been more attached to a character like I have been to Gladion.
He is such a strong character in the game and I just couldn’t help by fall for him.
I know that it really hasn’t been done before, but based off all the positive feedback everyone is giving about Gladion, I hoped that maybe the player’s would get a chance to date him.

I know that it sounds weird, but wouldn’t it be awesome if the player got a choice to be Gladion’s girlfriend/boyfriend?

Like maybe after becoming the champion of Alola, Gladion would come up and congratulate the player and I don’t know, maybe ask them out? Of course there would be a yes/no button BUT HELL I WOULD PRESS YES TO FAST BECAUSE GLADION IS MY EDGY LITTLE BOY.

Edit: Lolol I know that the mc is 11 years old, but it would still be cute to see them with Gladion. Also, does anyone even know how old he is? I like to think Gladion is around 14-15

Because no one ever said saving the world would be easy. Get ready to slay every witch and soldier of Darkness that stands in your way… and look fabulous while you do it, too!

After getting such awesome feedback from my Sports Anime Workout Routine, I decided to make another one - this time, inspired by the kickass magical girls of the anime world!

Just like before, you don’t need ANY equipment for this routine! No gym membership required - you don’t even have to leave your room or put on real-people pants. (Bless.) If you’re more advanced and want to bump it up a little, add some 5-15 lb. weights on some of the moves, but otherwise, all you need is your body!

Here’s how it works: Queue up all of these songs, whether it’s in iTunes, YouTube, SoundCloud, or another music player of your choice. Hit “Play.” Your goal is to get through all of the designated exercises before the song is over. If you don’t make it, replay the song until you’re done! Then move on to the next one. Try to rest as little as possible between each exercise (and each song!) for the best results.

If you’re struggling and want to give up, keep pushing. It’s when you want to quit that the magic starts to happen. Believe in yourself and your own abilities. True power comes from within, after all!


Cardio: Sailor Moon Crystal - "Moon Pride"
Arms: Puella Magi Madoka Magica - "Connect"
Legs: Princess Tutu - "Hall Om Mig"
Core: Card Captor Sakura - "Platinum"

As always, if you still (somehow) have energy left after all of that, burn it out in the bonus cardio round:

Cardio Burnout: Revolutionary Girl Utena - "Rinbu -Revolution-" (Updated 03.01.15)

For more anime-related workouts, check out my workout tag! :D

Lucky him

After a particularly messy encounter with goblins a lizard man character with very low intelligence ended up with a lucky charm.
Lizard man: I choose to eat it
DM: eat it? Not equip it?
Lizard man: my character is hungry
DM: (shrugs) ok then
Me: does he become lucky from eating it
DM: know what, roll d20
Lizard man: (critical success) ha!
DM: (sighs) alright your character is now lucky

Confession #30

I just want someone to look at me and go “wow, I want to love her.” I want someone to think about me 24/7 and ask me out. I’m tired of being no one’s first choice, or even on their radar. I’m tired of being played. I just want to be loved. 

Our Kickstarter project is live!!! Please help us spread the word!

In this interactive novel, Lilya Martel has the opportunity to test a revolutionary virtual reality console, made by tech developer Jacob Lessard, that feels more “real” than reality itself. But when everything Lilya and Jacob assume about reality is thrown into question, they must confront their own beliefs about the nature of existence.

[^ screenshots from the demo]

There is a free alpha demo available (at the top of the Kickstarter page) if you want to get a sense of the game. The demo contains chapter 1 (of 10).

The story has elements of both sci-fi and fantasy, and is a character-focused exploration of some heavy metaphysical questions - what is “real” - and does it matter? To what extent do our perceptions define our realities?

Whether you can pledge or not, we would be incredibly grateful if you would take a look (watch the video!) and share it with your friends, or followers on social media. Every new person who knows about the campaign is important to us! Thank you!

What Westworld can teach you about being a better Dungeon Master

You canโ€™t deny it, youโ€™d love to roll some dice with this man.ย 

Westworld immediately grabbed my attention in part because it was a story about how stories are told, with all the challenges involved therein. Given that the whole show is about the running of a massive immersive game with thousands of interconnected stories I quickly realized that many of the lessons it espouses can also be applied to running Dungeons and Dragons.

Though I wonโ€™t be talking about the whole series in depth, there will be minor spoilers as I talk about setting and plot elements. So be warned before continuing onward.

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