player story

Playboy - 3

Monday morning rolled in again much to your distaste as you dragged your feet towards the school building with other students. You didn’t do much studying this weekend, the excitement of the party clouding your mind when you left that night with a few new numbers and friends.    

A familiar backside caught your attention, making a smile spread across your face as you called their name.


She stopped and turned around, smiling back when she caught sight of and let you catch up to reach her.

“I didn’t see you at the party on Saturday.” You said after greeting the younger girl and linking your arm in hers.

“Didn’t really want to go.” Yerim answered with a sigh, letting her head fall onto your shoulder. “I stayed home and caught up with some studying. Was it fun?”

You shifted your eyes and turned your head, trying to hide the growing smile on your face. “I guess so, it was alright for a house party.”

Yerim hummed knowingly, smiling at your obvious pleasure of the past weekend. “I don’t suppose you hooked up with someone?”

You smiled back and fluttered your eyes at the younger girl. “Noo, what kind of girl do you take me for?”

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So, little Exilus update today.

I’ve been debating whether or not to keep the partner/crew-members in the game, and if I were to do so, how I could expand upon them. 

Exilus has always really been a game about isolation (or, at least, isolating the player) which clashes somewhat with the idea of secondary NPCs who tag along with you, even if they provide help. Making them into actual characters would help them feel less out of place, but then that seems to compromise the game’s minimalism (or intended minimalism), in that no character ever talks directly to the player, and story can be occasionally gleaned from computer consoles and little else. 

At the moment, the NPC’s each have a purpose. Zora, the one I had in teh last screenshot, fires a powerful bullet that shoots electrical bolts.

The other two, Xiao Pingguo (the one in red) and Nostromo (the one in blue) will open low-level doors automatically for the player and teleport the player to the nearest checkpoint respectively. 

The issue is that I feel like these extra helper functions aren’t exactly necessary either, or could just be changed to items or player functions, which might be a good reason to remove the NPC’s as well.

But I dunno! How do other people feel about this?


The Polybius Mystery:

Polybius is an arcade cabinet described in an urban legend, which is said to have induced various psychological effects on players. The story describes players suffering from amnesia, night terrors, and a tendency to stop playing all video games. Around a month after its supposed release in 1981, Polybius is said to have disappeared without a trace. There is no evidence that such a game has ever existed.

The game has shown up in movies & tv shows like The Simpsons and Wreck it Ralph.

shit now i almost want to explain kiss players because the story of it is just so tragic and awful

fuck it, i’m gonna do it

so, believe it or not, transformers is actually pretty unsuccessful in Japan. Japanese audiences don’t like stories that focus on the bad guys as much as the good guys, they don’t like the idea of sentient robots being the heroes instead of human pilots, and they don’t buy toys of bad guys.

so Takara, the Japanese company that the American Hasbro is partnered with in producing and designing Transformers toys, is faced with a conundrum. they have this product that has relatively wide international success, but almost zero success in their home country of Japan. they can’t pull the plug on it because of their deal with Hasbro, so they’re left with this dud of a franchise in Japan while Hasbro rakes in the big bucks internationally.

Well, imagine you’re a business man in Japan and you need to change something to make it sell better in Japan. What do you do?

You open-palm slap the “naked anime girls” button as hard as you can and hope for the best.

Thus, Kiss Players was born. 

Takara and Hasbro had previously worked together to create a line called Binaltech in Japan and Alternators internationally. These figures were higher-end figures with officially licensed automobiles for their altmodes. They found pretty high success with fans in America due to their (at the time) high build quality. 

So, Takara took these high-end figures and started packaging them with figures of half-naked anime girls, trying to appeal to both nostalgia and otakus. The figures were also accompanied by a manga series detailing the adventures of the “Kiss Players,” a group of very young looking girls that were able to fuse with Autobots by kissing them. Fusing with the autobots involved the girls getting naked (with barbie anatomy, thank god) and piloting the robots from the inside. When the girls were done fusing with the Autobots, they would be… ejected from the autobots bodies covered in slime. 


There was also a character in the story called Legion, who looked like Megatron with a giant fleshy tongue that looked like a big penis. 


Turns out, nobody liked this series. Not even the Japanese otakus it was aimed at. It was that creepy. American fans were revolted by the series and Japanese fans completely disowned it because they said it reflected poorly on their country as a whole. 

That’s right. Japanese fans were so ashamed of Kiss Players that they claimed that it was damaging the reputation of the entire country because so many international fans were saying that they expected nothing less from Japan.

Needless to say, Kiss Players was a complete failure. Now, nobody talks about it. Nobody mentions it. If anybody posts pictures of figures they own of it, they always make sure to mention they threw out the anime girl it came with. If you bring it up in passing or post pictures from it, you get banned from most Transformers communities. Everyone, all Transformers fans across the globe, have elected to completely forget this one part of the franchise. Nobody liked it and everyone would rather forget it ever existed. 

An Almost Horrible Death

Background: My party- consisting of a Wood Elf Rogue(me), a Human Paladin, a Half Elf Cleric, a Teifling Ranger, a character who’s player was absent for this story, and a goblin we had captured called Dies Horribly(he happened to have a player for this story)- came across a dungeon in the woods. The absent character spent the time staring at the wall while Dies stood watch at the entrance to the dungeon, and the paladin, cleric, ranger, and rogue checked out a small room with a single chest.

DM- upon inspecting the walls you find several small holes. And the chest is sitting on a pressure sensitive tile.

Paladin(ooc)- I cover the holes with the tapestry I found

Rogue(ooc)- that won’t work though, arrows will completely tear the fabric.

Paladin(ooc)- I cover the holes with the tapestry anyway.

DM- okay, you cover the holes. Now what?

Paladin(ooc)- I try to pick up the chest.

Rogue(ooc)- I stand just outside the room.

DM- as you pick up the chest fire shoots from the holes, burning the tapestry and making your armor very hot. You then drop the chest back down and the fire stops.

Rogue- *to the ranger* we can go convince Dies to get the chest for us…

Ranger- okay.

*Rogue and Ranger quickly go to find Dies*

Rogue- hey Dies there’s this chest of treasure inside you should go get it for us.

Dies- Shiney!*runs off to go get the chest. He proceeds to pull the chest out of the room but getting so much fire damage he’s basically dead*

Cleric- I cast cure wounds on Dies.

DM- alright but he’s permanently scarred and will only have 4 hit points until you can find a higher level cleric.

And that’s the story of how Dies Horribly almost died horribly. And also why you shouldn’t ever trust a neutral evil rogue and ranger ever.

France nt: *better lighting than nyfw, 12 hr footage for every breath the players take, so hd you can see the pores on giroud’s face*

Italy nt: *couple of training pics, nb nb*

Spain nt: *pics taken from a phone but you can still distinguish the players*

Germany nt: *insta story darker than my asshole, glare bigger than my forehead, 2 players total the others presumed dead by a killer clown, big ass white text obscuring half the pic*

No but guys-

I just realised that Zimbits wedding would be a clashing of not only Samwell team to The Falconers, to Bad Bob Zimms and Uncle Mario, etc

Like can we take a moment to imagine? Three gens (sorta??) of hockey players all with embarrassing stories about Jack Laurent Zimmermann (and Smh with some about Bitty) 

But even more importantly, all the Hockey Bros being left completely struck dumb by (and a little scared of) The Bittles 

Invasion of the Southerners 

Coach Bittle there like “… Have y’all ever tried Football?” 

I may or may not write a HC list of this… 

Ran into another piece of shit on Overwatch tonight to warn you all about.

Husband and I were running comp with a friend, so we got placed with this guy named Sushi and his friend Weiss. We were attacking King’s Row and my husband was playing Tracer, myself Mercy, and the friend was Reinhardt. Sushi was Reaper while his friend was Hanzo. Sixth guy was Roadhog.

Match starts and no one except our Rein was going past the gates, mostly because the other team had a Bastion set up and a Roadhog ripping people into its fire. My husband starts moving to go up top and across to flank behind, however, gets picked off by a Pharah. Sushi starts screaming in voice chat about how awful my husband is and how he needs to switch. My husband immediately looks at this guy’s player profile. He’s level 691 and has his highest MMR at 2900, but was currently 2400. Usually that means that he got carried through placement and sucked the rest of the time… or has no friends.

So any who, my husband states “lolno?” As this guy screeches at him and of course, we end up losing terribly. I say in voice chat “Next time you yell at people in a match, make sure you’re not sucking too because I had to heal you and I know you were pretty awful yourself”. Normally I don’t argue with people but at this point he’s screaming in text at my husband and blaming him for the entire loss.

Big mistake on my part. He leaves voice chat immediately and the chat was as follows.

“Kill yourself you fat fucks.”

“Your fat fucking team blows and needs to die.”

“Fat cunt.”

“Ugly fat bitch.”

“Pig woman lol”

“Fat pig bitch lol”

So yes, if you ever see a player named Sushi whom is level six hundred plus and mains Reaper, tell him the pig bitch says “Hi”.

How are you gonna tell me after we stop talking that you wanna take the time to be alone and get your shit together but you’re already talking to someone else… Oh okay
Auston Matthews - Part 26

Don’t forget to vote for the player in my next story! I will be wrapping up this AM imagine in the next week or so, with over 60,000 words I think I am ready to start on a new project! Hopefully none of you unfollow me because you were only here for Auston… Thank you so much for all the support, this has been so much fun to write and I hope you all will be satisfied with the ending coming soon!

The next few weeks is much of the same, I start at school going three times a week Tuesday through Thursday and use my free time for research that I do at home. Much to my surprise I not only become friends with Auston’s teammates and their wives/girlfriends but I actually make a few friends at school, which is a first.

I pull into my drive way to see every cars already parked in my yard along the curb on the road. Walking in the front door I see that it must be another COD night because there’s eight boys scattered around my living room, none of them Auston.
“Hello people who do not live here,” I call out, dropping my school bag onto the floor and throwing my coat onto the rack.
“Hey Y/N,” several people call out and my two pups bound up to me, flipping over onto their backs for a good belly rub.
“Where’s Auston?” I ask, still not seeing him anywhere.
“Picking up food,” Mitch answers, his eye’s glued to the T.V even though he’s not playing right now and speaking through a mouthful of carrots.
I snatch the bag of carrots out of his hand much to his dismay.
“Hey!” He yelps, trying to get the bag back.
“You owe me two bags of carrots now,” I snap at him.
“But I only ate half!” Mitch complains.
“I know, but you were pissing me off earlier this week so it’s two bags or you give me the copy of my house key you had made!”
We stare at each other in defiance until Mitch sighs.
“Fine! Two bags,” he grumbles and pouts at the T.V as I stick my hand into the bag and grab a carrot, munching on it as I put the rest back in the fridge.
“This is why I have to hide the good food upstairs because I have nine man children raiding my house every day,” I complain as I look at the messy shelves in my fridge which had been nice and organized when I left for school this morning.
“Yeah, Auston told us where it was. Can you ask your mom to send more of those mint things from Michigan?” Morgan calls from his spot in the living room. I snap the fridge door closed and whirl around to face them all.
“You ate my candy?” I almost yell.
“Not all of it, we left at least half,” Mitch calls over his shoulder.
“It was in my closet! How could you have possibly found it?” I cross my arms over my chest as I step into the living room and in front of the T.V.
“There’s eight of us, didn’t take long,” Mitch replies trying to see around me at the T.V.
I open my mouth to retort but the front door opens and in walks Auston laden with takeout bags.
“You told them where I kept my good food?” I round on him and he freezes in his tracks, opening and closing his mouth several times before stammering out a response.
“They saw me eating one when they got here, they made me tell them!” He tries to defend himself.
“You ate some of it too?” I say in disbelief. “I can’t believe you would do that to me!”
At this Auston realizes I’m not actually entirely mad and visibly relaxes.
“Now I have to find a whole new spot!” I groan and smack his arm. “And you are not allowed to eat anything else of mine upstairs!”
I hear snickering behind me and Auston’s cheeks turn a faint pink. Mitch’s face is almost turning purple from trying not to laugh when I turn around and scowl at him.
“What now?” I snap, rethinking the words I’ve said in the last few minutes, which I frequently have to do with all of them around me. I roll my eyes and throw a pillow at Mitch when I realize what he’s about to choke over. “Oh shut up,” I grumble and walk back into the kitchen muttering to myself.
I spend the rest of the evening cleaning up my kitchen and making sure the trash talking is kept to a minimum in the living room. Eventually I find myself snuggled into the corner of my sectional, two warm bodies on either side of me and I almost immediately fall asleep, my head on someone’s shoulder, I don’t know who because Auston is sitting on the floor in front of me with his back against my legs.
I don’t know how long I’ve been sleeping when the person I’m leaning on shifts below me and I snap awake.
“Didn’t drool on me, did ya?” Morgan’s voice says to my side as I rub the sleep from my eyes, ignoring him.
I look around the room and see a few of the guys have already left, Zach is asleep on the chair and Auston is now sitting on the other side of me.
“What time is it?” I try to focus on the clock.
“Almost midnight, we didn’t want to wake you to leave,” Auston says and touches my leg. “Ready for bed?” He asks, standing and taking my hand to pull me to my feet.
“Night Morgan,” I call over my shoulder and he gives me a wink, settling down onto the couch and I know he doesn’t plan on moving until morning.
Auston gets me upstairs and waits while I change my clothes in my closet, he may have seen me naked a few times in the last few weeks but we have yet to do the big thing and I’m too shy to change in front of him. When I emerge he helps me into bed and kisses me goodnight.
“I’ll see you tomorrow after the game?” He whispers and I grab his hand, tugging him back to me as he makes to stand.
“Stay, please,” I say softly and wiggle over to the middle of the bed.
“I didn’t bring my bag this time, Y/N,” he whispers and I don’t let him take his hand back.
“Then sleep naked, but stay,” I whine and when he sighs at me I know I have him.
“I don’t think it’s very fair that I’m being held against my will and have to be naked…”
“Held against your will?” I scoff. “I didn’t have to try very hard to get you to agree. But if it makes you feel better…” I shimmy out of my shorts, and shirt, leaving my undies and bra still intact. I throw them to the side and snuggle back down into my sheets and pat the bed next to me.
Auston eyes me a moment before taking a step back from the bed and dragging his shirt over his head. He doesn’t tell me to look the other way like I always ask him to, so I don’t. I watch him in the near darkness, the only light coming from the light in the backyard which glances off his skin like moonlight. My cheeks heat on their own accord, as Auston meets my gaze before turning his attention to his pants. Once those and his socks are off, he quirks an eyebrow at me.
“You said naked,” he says reaching for the waist band of his briefs and I squeal.
“No no no!” I choke out and throw my hands onto my face, covering my eyes.
Auston erupts into laughter and I feel his weight on the bed.
“You’re safe,” he teases, his arm goes across my stomach and pulls me closer. I gladly move against him and marvel at the feel of his skin against mine, a shiver going through my body.
“Thank you,” I murmur, brushing my lips against his shoulder.
“For giving you a strip tease?”
I giggle and pinch his arm. “I guess that too.”
Auston turns onto his side and trails his hand from my stomach to my chin, tilts my head back and brushes my lips with a featherlike kiss. I breathe into him, thinking that it’s not fair that such a simple kiss does more to me than I could ever do to him. Laughing softly at that revelation Auston pulls back.
“What?” He asks, the room is too dark to see his face now that he’s in bed.
“Remember when I told you that I didn’t use to like kissing?” I ask.
I think he nods but I can’t tell and he soon says. “Yes.”
“I just think about it when you kiss me. I like it,” I say lamely, pushing my head into the crook of his neck even though I know he can’t see my face.
“I would hope you like it, I do it pretty often,” Auston laughs, his whole body vibrating.
“There’s more to it, I just can’t focus,” I say, and it’s true my senses are overloaded by his smell and touch, if I could see him I would probably be incapable of functioning.
‘Why’s that,” Auston breathes, his hand slipping down my bare side, his nail just scratching my skin.
“Don’t you do that, you know exactly what I’m talking about,” I mutter, trying to focus on anything else than his hand that has now hooked behind my knee, pulling my leg up to Auston’s waist. Auston leans his head down to my neck, his lips just barely grazing my skin.
“I really don’t, you should probably explain it to me,” he murmurs, continuing along my throat to my jaw just below my ear and I make a noise in the back of my throat, shaking my head slightly, the only body movement I’m capable of right now.
“Why not?” He asks, the tip of his nose against my collar bone before his lips touch the swell of my breast, I’m grateful that I didn’t get over confident and take my bra off earlier.
“Please stop talking,” I manage to get out while my breathing makes it nearly impossible to talk.
“But don’t you want to know,” Auston whispers against my skin, “that you have the exact same effect on me.”
“I doubt that,” I mutter, arching my back slightly when he pulls his lips away from my chest, I can feel his eyes on my face even though I can’t see him.
“You don’t think that you drive me insane? Y/N, you don’t even have to touch me for me to go insane with need for you, whereas the only way I can get you like this is to actually touch you. Every time you raise your temper at me,” he says, his mouth brushing mine with every word he says. “Every touch, every whisper, every look…” he continues this time kissing me in between words. “I want nothing more than to make you feel exactly how I feel.”
I tremble underneath him, his words doing more to me than I ever thought words could do. Overly aware of his thumb making slow circles on my thigh, I make another small noise and find myself unable to form words. So instead I snap to life and pull his head down to mine, kissing him so deeply that it takes us both by surprise.
Auston rolls so he’s completely over top of me, pressing my body down into the mattress, trapped against his every move. We spend the rest of night trying to one up one another, never taking it too far.
In the morning I wake before he does, which never happens. I glance at the clock to see he has to go to practice soon and slip out of bed. Dressing myself first, I gently prod him awake. Auston groans and rolls away from me.
“Auston,” I say, grabbing his arm and rolling him back to me. “You gotta go, don’t make me get Morgan or Zach up here. They would be emotionally scarred for life seeing you like this,” I tease, although I refuse to sleep without some sort of clothing on, Auston seems to have no problem with it.
Auston groans again, his hand wrapping my waist before slipping down to my ass.
“Nuh uh,” I scold. “You have to get to your morning skate, I can hear Morgan and Zach moving around downstairs so you better get up.” I pull out of his reach and he finally cracks his eyes open to scowl at me.
“It’s your fault, you kept me up half the night,” he grumbles, rubbing his face with his hands.
“Excuse me? I never woke you up,” I remind him.
“Didn’t you? Must have been a dream then,” he smirks at me and I smack his chest. The sound echoes in the room due to his bare skin.
“You have four minutes to get downstairs,” I huff at him and turn on my heel, wandering downstairs and letting my dogs outside.
Morgan and Zach say their good mornings to me and help themselves to my orange juice, waiting for Auston.
“Coming to the game tonight?” Zach asks me, his disheveled hair sticking all over. Although he is already dressed in a suit, he must have brought one last night.
“I actually don’t know if I’ll make it,” I say over my shoulder, getting a smoothie made up. “I have a group project that my partner wants to work on tonight. Riley asked me to work on it last night but I got a little distracted at the eight thieves in my living room.”
Morgan and Zach give me devilish grins as Auston makes it down the stairs finally, also dressed in a suit already. We figured out my first week living here that he should probably have clothes on hand for game days.
“You’re not coming? Is that what you said?” Auston asks and I’m surprised at his tone, disappointment seeping into it.
“I was just telling them, I want to, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to make it there in person tonight. I’ll be watching though, even if it’s from here,” I give him a small smile.
Auston nods and gives me a quick kiss on the lips before grabbing the smoothie I just finished making him out of my hands.
“Guess I should be going to,” Morgan says, making a kissy face at me and I roll my eyes, putting my hand on his face as he leans into me and makes a face at me before winking at me and joining Auston at the front door. Zach eyes me a moment.
“Should I even ask…” he starts and I point to the door.
“Get out,” I say and he laughs, ducking out the front door after his teammates.
I get settled on making my own breakfast and my phone buzzes on the counter. I see it’s my lab partner and accept the call.
“Hey,” I say cheerfully into the phone.
“Hey, how’s it going?” Riley asks.
“Project wise or general wondering?”
“Both,” he laughs, I can hear pen clicking in the background and know he must be anxious, he always gets fidgety when he’s worked up about something.
“I’m going well on both of those. What were your plans for the project tonight?”
“We should work on it someplace together tonight. I would say we can use my place but my roommates are a bit loud, could we work on it at your place? I know you said that you live alone,” he asks and I hesitate just a moment before answering.
“You can come here, that’s fine. Plenty of space and its quiet,” I say, though I’m not sure Auston will like it too much because now I really won’t be able to go to his game.
“Cool, can I come around six?”
“Yeah, I’ll text you the address,” I reply, an anxious feeling pitting its way into my stomach though I don’t understand why.
“Great, I’ll bring something to eat as well. See you then,” he says a little too eagerly, hanging up before I can say anything back.
I frown at the counter where I just set my phone, something not sitting right with me. However, I shake my head and turn my attention back to my eggs in the frying pan. Overthinking was one of the ‘negative’ qualities I got from my father and my mother was always quick to remind me of it.  

Punch ‘Em

So, I’m going to be DMing my first dnd game soon. 

My rogue (@magnoliadoll) and sorcerer (@pachupy ) wanted to do a little pre-gaming to figure out how it all worked since they’d never played before. They decide to rob a level 10 wizarding school as level 1 characters. Somehow, they managed to get in the door. They also had enough insight to figure out where all of the fancy magical items were kept. However, they ran into a few guards once they got there. 

Any rational rogue would try to sneak past them, or the sorcerer could’ve tried to pass as a student at the school and get into the room.


My rogue goes “I’m gonna punch the guard. The big one.”

She does 1 damage and the commotion brings six more guards to the area. So, it’s a level 1 rogue and sorcerer vs 7 level 10 Arcane Warriors. They don’t run away. They continue to attack the guards thinking they could win for another two rounds. Then they run away. 

The rogue picks up the sorcerer and hightails it out of there, but one of the guards crits and ends up killing the sorcerer. We haven’t even started the actual campaign yet and one of them already died. 

They’re screaming so I use some DM magic and let them try it again.

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