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I thought knowing both songs would make it easier to learn on guitar. It doesn’t.

my writing job is paying off I just got a review code for Birthdays the Beginning, the Harvest Moon dev’s new game 😍😩👌🏻

clutch god

i was on route 66 earlier and we did so fucking shit on attack it’s not even funny. we didn’t even cap first. how do you not cap first on route 66?

we swap roles for round 2 def, i end up as s76. it’s not really a contest at this point, who cares that i’m not tanking or healing. i don’t main dps, but hey, i’m a passable s76.

so the defence round kicks off nicely.

a minute or two in, we find out they have a hanzo. because he kills our zenyatta with a bodyshot. good start. we don’t have much time to noodle on top of gas, and drop down. both in-game and metaphorically, as in drop like flies. we’re down 3 in no fucking time and i’m not surprised.

i’m by the cart to help contest because i forgot the #1 rule of s76-ing (get to high ground). anyway our zarya was bubbled in front of me, and the moment the bubble goes down, there’s an arrow piercing my idiot skull.

my drive had been lost in round 1 already. when i sprint back, there’s a winston sitting (or eating peanut butter) up top in front of cave. we exchange hellos. i don’t shoot him, but i take a few steps back towards the fray. both teams are still fighting below. winston gets up and starts zapping me. i drop, turn to shoot him, almost die, but my teammates are there for me and he ends up dying. that’s what you get for breaking my heart.

even though the spot they needed to cap was laughably short along the payload route, they didn’t end up deathballing us (they were diving). i have no fucking idea how it happens, maybe we manage some decent grouping and ults, we nab picks here and there, but we manage to fucking hold until overtime. members of both teams are still on the cart; the match is still on. and then what?

so. as you can see in the video, i die (to hanzo, no less). but i’ve really done all i could. it was up to the few survivors to kill hanzo. just hanzo. just hanzo. hanzo was the only enemy left standing.

all they had to do at that point was kill hanzo. i could not have made it easier for them. 

oh i know what you’re thinking - ‘it’s just a hanzo’. and yeah, that’s more or less true. he already ulted (getting two kills before killing me, mind you). but listen. playing against diamond hanzos is nerve-wracking. generally speaking, they can aim. and if they can aim, all their scatters are OHKOs, the second you peek from his sonar sight you’re headshot, there are wolves/dragons tearing your team up every other fucking minute.

lucio and rein die to his ult. i’m killed. zarya dies after me. it was mccree and zenyatta against one hanzo - his name is bootymeat, for fuck’s sake - and someone in the comm says something along the lines of ‘please don’t let us lose to one hanzo’

i wasn’t with zen and mccree when they were dealing with hanzo, but they dealt with him. my hands were shaking. i was shaking. oh i know it LOOKS neat and easy and like no big deal (’obvious outcome! why’d you even make this post?’) when you just get to see the static victory screen and not the whole match, but i cannot tell you how fucking stressed this overtime made me.

this is one of those matches where you’re just glad it’s over when it ends.

Yesterday I finished a ranked game as Soraka with 0/0/20. My team asked me if I was smurfing since I was doing really well and just messing everybody up with silences and saving my team a lot. We were playing in silver and Soraka is a champion I am really good at even if I don’t play her often. When we were getting enemy base, enemy Janna said “gg, mad smurfing soraka, reported for boosting”. It was one of the funniest games ever, I felt really good that game.

Artwork by Sheepily