planet domo

Dear Planet Domo.

(Based on real life experiences. Proceed with caution.)

I hate you. With every fiber of my lack-of-sanity-enriched being, I hate you. Fuck, even THAT doesn’t add to the amounts of hatred I have.

I don’t care if your gameplay involves the adventures of Domo-kun. I don’t care that the graphics are cute. Fuck, I don’t even care if my friends play it and I can have teammates to use for battling other people in Egg and Spoon races.

All I ask of you is for just a piece of popcorn.

ONE.
FUCKING.
PIECE.
OF POPCORN. 

God-damnit, I’ve been at it all day just to get some fucking popcorn to finish that Harvest Corn mission in Kansas, and STILL NO FUCKING POPCORN.

And this is why I don’t play Facebook games that often - they glitch, they irritate the shit out of me, and they waste my time. DDDX I’m already unproductive as it is, why must you be my cruel virtual mistress and make it even worse!?

However, I do want to finish this mission so I can go to fucking Hollywood, so I will still succumb to your stupidity and wait until I get the God-damn piece of virtual popcorn which DOESN’T MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE TO PAY POPCORN TO DO A MISSION THAT INVOLVES FUCKING CORN! HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK!?

WHY AM I QUESTIONING THIS GAME’S LOGIC!? IT’S ON FACEBOOK, FOR CHRIST’S SAKE!! 

OTL

Signed,
Draikanic T. Graticun IV