plan relief

theatre people as john mulaney quotes
  • Actors: You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair.
  • Director: In terms of, like, instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.
  • Sound techs: The more you do stuff, the better you get at dealing with how you still fail at it a lot of the time.
  • Light techs: No one knows what you're talking about, you idiot!
  • Stage manager: You ever have those days where something happens and you're like... whatever, this may as well happen?
  • Assistant stage manager: I like when things are crazy. Something good comes out of exhaustion.
  • Stage crew: I am very small, and I have no money. You can imagine the kind of stress I'm under.
  • Set builders: This is an on-fire garbage can. ...Could be a nursery.
  • Props department: Because it's the one thing you can't replace.
  • Costume department: Hi, I'm very gay, and I'd like a few dollars.
  • Makeup people: I don't look older. I just look worse.
  • Publicity team: You know how you lie to your parents?
  • Budget board: Eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs.
  • Audience: I'm really sorry about last night, it's just that I'm mean and loud.

HEY CAN WE JUST RECOGNIZE THAT HUNK GARRETT IS NOT JUST COMEDY RELIEF AND HE IS NOT JUST ALL SMILES AND NERVOUSNESS AND DOES NOT ALWAYS THINK ABOUT FOOD???

LOOK AT HOW SERIOUS HUNK IS WHEN THEY ALL MEET ROLO AND NYMA. HE WAS THE ONE WHO DIDNT TRUST ROLO ENTERING THE LIONS. IT WASNT ONLY BECAUSE HE WANTED TO RESCUE SHAY hunay hunay BUT BECAUSE OF WHAT HAPPENED WITH SENDACK AND HOW LANCE AND SHIRO GOT HURT BECAUSE OF IT.

LOOK AT HIS EXPRESSIONS. THESE ARE THE FACES OF A PERSON THAT YOU DO NOT WANT TO MESS AROUND WITH. 

THROUGHOUT THE EPISODE, HUNK WAS TAKING CHARGE IN THE MISSION BACK TO BULMERA TO SAVE SHAY. HE WAS ALSO IN CHARGE OF HOW THEY DEALT WITH ROLO AND NYMA WHEN IT CAME TO PROVIDING PARTS FOR ROLO TO USE BECAUSE OF COURSE HES THE AMAZING ENGINEER WE ALL LOVE HIM TO BE. HUNK IS VERY SMART BOY WHO SPECIALIZES IN  ENGINEERING AND DUDE NO ONE ELSE IN THE GROUP except possibly coran COULD HAVE HELPED ROLO WITH HIS SHIP THIS DUDE IS A MIRACLE WORKER.

HE WAS REALLY SUSPICIOUS OF ROLO AND NYMA AND DUDE

HE WAS RIGHT ABOUT IT.

HUNK REALLY NEEDS TO BE APPRECIATED HE HAS SO MUCH POTENTIAL AND I LOVE HIM. SURE, HE MAY BE OUR SUNSHINE PALADIN BUT WHEN HE IS SERIOUS, HE PROBABLY WONT HESITATE TO KICK SOMEONE’S ASS. HUNK IS UNDER-APPRECIATED. HUNK IS INTELLIGENT. HE IS STRONG. HE IS DETERMINED. AND WHEN THE TIME COMES, HE CAN BE FEARLESS.

TLDR; HUNK ISNT JUST COMEDY RELIEF. DREAMWORKS PLEASE GIVE US MORE HUNK HE HAS SO MUCH POTENTIAL AS A CHARACTER!!!! MORE SERIOUS HUNK PLEASE!!!

Muns For Charity

What are we?

This blog is created and managed by a community of artists and writers from the badly drawn/ask Yuri!!! on Ice fandom. We’ve banded together to take commissions to help raise money and awareness for various causes. The charities that we will be donating to are Planned Parenthood, Flint, Standing Rock, the Trevor Project, and United Muslim Relief. We have no plans to add any more for now as to maximize the amount we donate to each of them.

How can we commission a piece?

You may contact any of the artists at munsforcharity@gmail.com. When you commission anything, please put the name of the artist/writer in the subject. In the body of the email, please detail what you would like and what charity you would like your money to go to from our list of charities–or, we can choose one for you. You can find a list of who you can commission and their prices/what they are willing to draw here. Keep in mind that many of us have busy schedules so make sure that their commissions are open before you email us. After we work out the details and the artist agrees to take on the project, we will request that you donate the money and show us a receipt confirming the transaction. Once that’s done, they will begin working on your commission!

How can I be sure this is going to charity?

Rather than donating the money through us like we originally planned, we will instead have people who want to commission us to donate the required amount directly to an organization from our list! That way, you will be the ones making sure it gets to its destination!

One last thing

If you are interested in being a part of this project, and would like to participate in Muns for Charity, we encourage you to message us, and we will send you an invite to our Discord chat where we discuss information about the project.

ok but real talk. one of my favourite things of watching Car Boys as it came out and seeing the “lore” unravel was talking about it! like, leaving behind all pretense and cringe and just having a good time making theories and discusing the supposed plot of a freaking car physics simulation game. the morality and motives of the “characters”, pieceing together the dimensions, the history behind the maps.

and i appreciate that so much about the boys. they just broke the game in increasingle inventive ways and talked about it until there was such a rich and deep background and it was full of comedy and horror and so! much! fun!

it was so easy to become invested, and i see now so many people were caught off guard by how emotional they got at the finale. because they made such a special thing. not just a fun series to take your mind off things (though that certainly helped) but an actual story. and we know they’re not really trapped in the time ring forever, but the personas they created are; in a eternal chase against the blob, floating through the void with only elton john and each other for company…

it’s bittersweet. but it was impressive to say the least. and i’m glad i got to experience it, that they chose to take this route and share the trip with us. and i know it’ll stay with me for some time :’)

journey’s end (of a sort)

fullmetal alchemist au.


The door to Neil’s room slams open, and he can’t even say that he’s surprised to see Andrew behind it. His grip tightens around the railing Hernandez had mounted along the wall, and Neil turns so his back is against it and he’s facing Andrew. He feels himself being observed carefully as Andrew shuts the door behind himself without looking.

Millport automail? This is where you’ve been hiding?” Unlike before, Andrew’s face doesn’t match the bite behind his words. His expression is blank, and Neil wonders if he’s imagining the steel in his eyes.

“I haven’t been hiding,” Neil points out. “Everyone on the team knows I’ve been here.”

Everyone except you, he meant. He hadn’t wanted to distract Andrew from his own recovery.

Maybe a month ago that would have provoked a reaction from Andrew, be it an uncontrollably manic smile or an ugly flash of rage. Instead, Andrew just stares at him flatly. “Do they know you’ve been trying to walk? They must not, because otherwise this room would be full of idiots trying to teach you what ‘recovery’ means.”

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the signs as john mulaney quotes

aries: Here’s a story I once heard about me
taurus: It’s 100% easier not to do things than to do them
gemini: Now when people make fun of me, I deserve it
cancer: This might as well happen
leo: I’m a little fat girl
virgo: Detective! We found a pool of the killer’s blood in that hallway! Mmm… Gross. Mop it up!
libra: I always thought quicksand was gonna be a much bigger problem than it turned out to be
scorpio: No one knows what you’re talking about, you idiot!
sagittarius: In terms of instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin
capricorn: “John, that bathroom’s been closed for FORTY YEARS"
aquarius: I’ll keep all my emotions right here.. and then one day, I’ll die
pisces: Thirteen year olds are the meanest people in the world. They terrify me to this day.

anonymous asked:

Bokuaka, relief.... for the prompts :))

Akaashi is late.

This is a sentence that almost never happens, and it scares Koutarou a lot. Koutarou himself is often late to a variety of things: school, dentist appointments, weekend hangouts, buses, dates. The only thing he’s not late to is volleyball practice.

But Akaashi. Akaashi is not someone who arrives late—he doesn’t even arrive on time, he arrives early. He once admitted to Koutarou that it makes him anxious when he keeps other people waiting, so he’d rather take the earlier bus and scout out the place where he can see the other person coming. Koutarou doesn’t really understand, but it’s what makes Akaashi Akaashi, so he just shrugged and apologized for being late to their shopping trip.

Akaashi is late today.

Koutarou has checked his phone twenty-four times in sixteen minutes. He’s paced back and forth in front of the train station enough times that the security guard is eyeing him warily. He’s sent thirteen texts and seven voicemails to Akaashi’s phone, but there hasn’t been a single reply. Koutarou’s hands are shaking. He’s scared.

He pulls out his phone again, meaning to dial Kuroo or Konoha or someone who has a calmer, better head on their shoulders than he does. Someone who can tell him to sit down and stop overreacting. Someone who can tell him that Akaashi’s just fine, he’s probably overslept because Koutarou kept him up last night video-chatting him about his latest term paper, maybe he got held up helping an old lady find her cat because Akaashi’s nice that way, even though he doesn’t really like cats. Yeah, Akaashi’s just fine. He’s on his way. His phone is dead. He’s not dead. 

Akaashi is late, and Koutarou is on his knees in front of the station stairs, blocking people’s path but he’s breathing a little too fast, clutching his phone a little too hard, panicking a little too much. There are concerned voices above his head, but his vision is all blurry. Is he crying? Again? What a baby, Koutarou is. 

“Bokuto-san.”

He still doesn’t understand why Akaashi would want to arrive early to his appointments, this waiting game is no fun, no fun at all.

“Bokuto-san.”

There’s a slight pressure on his shoulders, and Koutarou glances up to find familiar green eyes watching him in quiet worry. It takes him a moment to catch his breath again, to recognize the boy with the messy curls kneeling in front of him.

“A-Akaaagsheee,” he says, but Akaashi understands him just fine. “Y-You’re l-l-late.”

Akaashi nods. He helps him up, leading him to the side so people aren’t staring at them anymore. He offers Koutarou tissues from his pocket, always prepared, but he keeps a hand on Koutarou, letting him know he’s here. He’s here. 

“My phone died this morning,” Akaashi says, “and I had to take my neighbour’s kids to their daycare. It’s not an excuse to make you worry though. I’m sorry.”

Koutarou shakes his head. His hand is probably squeezing too hard on Akaashi’s hand, but the other boy doesn’t complain. The panic has receded, leaving behind heavy relief, crashing through Koutarou hard enough to make him want to sit down. So he does. Akaashi follows suit, sitting closer than usual, close enough to press his side against Koutarou.

“You’re here now. It’s okay.”

“I’m here,” Akaashi agrees.


feel free to send in a prompt!

More Than Good | R.M.

imagine requested by @rxggie-mxntle

Summary: In which you, a student-athlete, believes that you are not good enough. Reggie Mantle thinks otherwise.

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The Accidental Husband

Part 1 - Breakups and Marriages

Fireman!Dean x Reader

A/N: This is an AU inspired by the namesake movie. It doesn’t follow the same storyline, just the main concept.

Summary: Dean gets dumped and apparently it’s all your fault. That’s why he and Charlie decide that a little payback is not gonna hurt and, if it does, well… then it’s just karma.

Word Count: 1800+

Tags: @mrswhozeewhatsis @why-do-you-want-my-user-name @daydreamingintheimpala @driverpicksthemuusic  @mysoul4dean @thing-you-do-with-that-thing  @amoreagron @spnfangirl1965 @aristtewinchesterholmes @thisisthelilith @chelsea072498 @skymoonandstardust 

Originally posted by frozen-delight

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New In Town Starters

“I don’t look older, I just look worse.”

“I always thought quicksand was gonna be a much bigger problem than it turned out to be”

“if you watch cartoons, quicksand is like the third biggest thing you have to worry about in adult life behind real sticks of dynamite and anvils falling on you from the sky.”

“I think I’m becoming more like my mom. I was watching Access Hollywood, and one of the reporters said ‘up next we have and exclusive interview with Sandra Bullock’s former husband, Jesse James.’ And out loud I went ‘uhg! This oughta be good!’”

“One time I was in bed and my dad came in and said ‘good night (name) did you brush your teeth?’ And I said ‘yes’ but here’s the thing… I hadn’t.”

“If the court reporter reads back my remarks you will see that I did not purger myself.”

“She would just make wild accusations all day long and wait for something to stick.”

“My mom would blame me for things that happened on the news. That is true.”

“(Name) I have been here all night! You can feel the tv, it’s warm.”

“Luckily I had a good alibi because I was in Wisconsin and twelve.”

“My brothers and sisters and I had this babysitter when we were kids and I was in love with her.”

“Why was she in charge?!”

“That’s just like hiring a slightly bigger child.”

“That would be like if you were going out of town for the week and you paid a horse to watch your dog.”

“Why do people shush animals? They’ve never spoken.”

“This is the height of luxury!”

“Lost in New York? The streets are numbered! How did you get lost in New York?”

“It’s a grid system motherfucker. Where you at? 24th and 5th? Where you wanna go? 35th and 6th? 11 up and 1 over you simple bitch.”

“When I was in grade school I was bullied for being Asian American and… the biggest problem with that… is that I am not Asian american.”

“On the first day that he met me, the guy that is now my best friend went home and said ‘papa, today I met a boy with no eyes’ and that was me.”

“Thirteen year olds are the meanest people in the world. They terrify me to this day.”

“8th graders will make fun of you but in an accurate way.”

“No! that’s the thing I’m sensitive about!”

“First off: no.”

“If you’re comparing the badness of two words and you won’t even say one of them, that’s the worse word.”

“Midgets were never enslaved! Unless you count the Wonka factory!”

“It was really easy to get away with murder before they knew about DNA.”

“Here’s how easy it was to get away with bank robbery back in the 30s: as long as you weren’t still there when the police arrived, you had a 99% chance of getting away with it.”

“Oh good it has a mind of its own, that’s very reassuring.”

“It’s 100% easier not to do things, and so much fun not to do them. Especially when you were supposed to do them.”

“In terms of like instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.”

“I’ve never been killed by hit men, so I don’t know what it’s like in the moments right before you’re killed by hit men, but I bet it’s not unlike when you’re on the subway and you realize that a mariachi band is about to start playing.”

“It doesn’t have to be right, it just has to be short.”

“A hero is any man that does his job.”

“A bozo is any man that cheats on his wife.”

“I went into the room to get the massage and the woman there told me to undress to my comfort level. So I put on a sweater and a pair of corduroy pants, and I felt safe.”

“Hey mister! I found your treasure!”

“If I got a plate of crack for the table would you have some?”

“I have a girlfriend now myself, which is weird because I’m probably gay, based on how I act and behave and have walked and talked for 28 years.”

“I think I was supposed to be gay. I think in heaven they built like three quarters of a gay person and they forgot to flip the final switch and just sent me out.”

“Everyone get out of my way! I just wanna sit here and feed my birds.”

“You want me to do what?”

“We’ve been going pretty hot and heavy lately, I think it’s time we brought in two older catholic people.”

“I listen to everything my girlfriend says. I don’t mean she bosses me around, I just mean that before I had a girlfriend, I never had someone who was always standing next to me and could just point out obvious things that are happening.”

“I don’t look like someone who used to do anything.”

“Oh hey, (name), would you like an old turnip we found in a cabinet? Would that be good for you? Would you like that? I know you don’t drink!”

“I’m really sorry about last night, I was just so drunk.”

“I’m really sorry about last night, it’s just that I’m mean and loud. It probably will happen again.”

“I don’t drink anymore because I used to drink too much and I would black out and ‘ruin parties’ –or so I’m told.”

“ I was 20 and I was at a party at someone’s house and I blacked out drinking and someone came out of one of the rooms at this party holding an old antique bottle with some liquid in it and they said ‘hey, is this whiskey or perfume?’ And apparently I grabbed it, drank all of it and said ‘it’s perfume.’ And it was.”

“(name) was an asshole and one weekend he and his wife decided to leave town, which you should never do if you’re an asshole.”

“Okay, lets go over there and destroy the place.”

“I walked into this party, everyone I had ever met was there and everyone was drinking like it was the end of the world.”

“People were drinking like it was the civil war and a doctor was coming to saw our legs off.”

“They had a pool table in the basement, one kid got a running start and threw his body onto the pool table and broke it in half.”

“I’m standing in the basement and I’m holding a red cup - you’ve seen movies - and I’m starting to black out. And I guess someone said like ‘something something police’ and in a brilliant moment of word association, I shouted ‘FUCK DUH POLICE’ and everyone else joined in. A hundred white, drunk children yelling ‘fuck. duh. police’ with the confidence of guys that have like already been to jail and aren’t afraid of it anymore.”

“My friend – who is now a father, this man now has a baby – grabbed a 40, smashed it on the ground and yelled ‘SCATTER!’ And everyone ran in different directions.”

“I ran into the laundry room and hopped up onto the washing machine and climbed out a window into the back yard and I’m running through the back yard and there’s this huge chain link fence and I thought ‘I have never climbed a fence that high before!’ And then I woke up and home.“

“And I said ‘no’ you know, like a liar.”

“And I had that thought, that only black out drunks and Steve Urkel can have: did I do that? I figured no, I wouldn’t have done that, but I was never sure.”

“he takes me into his bedroom and then he takes me into a side room off of his bedroom- never a good thing to have.”

“WHY? WHY DO YOU DO THIS?”

“Because it’s the one thing you can’t replace.”

“That’s the end of that story but how fucked up is that?”

“I was going into my building late at night and in front of my building I saw a wheel chair knocked over on its side, with no one in it. That’s a bad thing to see. Something happened there, you hope it was a miracle, but probably not.”

“That wasn’t what I was telling you, but alright, let’s talk about this entirely new topic.”

“Excuse me, I am homeless, I am gay, I have AIDS and I’m new in town.”

“That is not the most dramatic thing that you just said.”

“Hey would you help me out? I’m very gay, I’d like a few dollars.”

“Yeah that’s the type of lowbrow shit I’m looking for.”

4

Forest God art doll.

Sold

Forest God is a character from the movie “Princess Mononoke”. This doll is a fanart which I was going to do a long time ago.  All the details have been ready long ago, but I could finish this work only recently and If I would start it again, I made it look a little bit differently to be honest. Anyways I decided to finish this doll as planned and feel relief now :)

Made of super sculpey, thermoplastic , faux fur, rabbit fur, wire+plastic armature, primer, acrylic paint, varnish. Its horns are made of unbreakable plastic so they are very solid. Its neck has a plastic ball and socket armature inside so it can turn his head. The tail and legs have wire armature inside and narrow posable.

2

Bi-partisan co-chairs of Congressional HIV/AIDS Caucus urge Trump to take action to end epidemic

  • Throughout his campaign and tenure as president thus far, Donald Trump has remained relatively mum on the issue of HIV/AIDS. 
  • But in a letter sent to the president on Tuesday, the co-chairs of the Congressional HIV/AIDS Caucus urged him to continue decades of effort to make battling the epidemic a public health priority at the federal level.
  • “As co-chairs of the bipartisan and bicameral Congressional HIV/AIDS Caucus, we write to encourage you to continue the long-standing American commitment to the fight against HIV/AIDS, both here at home and abroad,” the letter, signed by Reps. Barbara Lee (D-Calif.) and Ileana Ros-Lehtinen (R-Fla.), reads.
  • “The Trump administration has a simple choice to make,” Lee said in a statement to Mic. "The United States can either continue building on our bipartisan legacy on HIV/AIDS, or we can retreat from our leadership in the world.“      
  • In the letter, Lee and Ros-Lehtenin call on Trump to continue support for the President’s Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief — a federal initiative created by former President George W. Bush — which they laud for increasing the number of people receiving treatment for the deadly disease by "nearly 11.5 million” over the last two decades. Read more (3/14/17 4:09 PM)
asagao characters as john mulaney quotes
  • Hana: I am very small and I have no money, so you can imagine the kind of stress that I am under.
  • Mai: I don’t have to guess what’s wrong, she comes in the room and she’s like, "My stomach hurts!" and then we can move on from there.
  • PBG: I don't want to be doing what I'm doing either.
  • Jon: I’m really sorry about last night, it’s just that I’m mean and loud. It probably will happen again.
  • Jared: The more you do stuff, the better you get at dealing with how you still fail at it a lot of the time.
  • Satch: Hi, I'm very gay and I'd like a few dollars.
  • Paul: And I know now that I'm definitely never gonna be president. Not unless everybody gets real cool about a bunch of stuff really quickly.
  • Nick: I just listen to everything she says, because before I had a girlfriend, I never had someone who's always standing next to me who can point out obvious things that are happening.
  • Josh: They're like, "Does that work?" I'm like, "It didn't NOT work."
  • Jirard: My vibe is more like, "Hey, you could pour soup in my lap and I'll probably apologize to you."
  • Shane: Anyone who’s seen my dick and met my parents has to die. I can’t have them running around.
  • Ian: I'll keep all my emotions right here, and then one day, I'll die.
  • Luke: You know, for years scientists have wondered: can you make grown men and women weep tears of joy by playing Tom Jones's "It's Not Unusual"?
  • Caddy: Okay, let's go over there and destroy the place.
  • Jeff: By 2029, I'll be drinking moon juice with President Jonathan Taylor Thomas.
  • Wallid: I thank you for laughing, because no one did that day.
  • Jimmy: In terms of instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.
  • Mimi: Because eighth graders will make fun of you, but in an accurate way.
  • Kakusu: You asked if I brushed my teeth, but I never specified that I did so tonight. If the court reporter reads back my remarks you will see I did not purger myself.
  • Creeps: I went outside as much as Powder from the movie Powder. My children are not going to be playing on grass, they will be up in their rooms playing violent video games and catfishing pedophiles.
  • Shizuka: And I would always think to myself, "How could another person kill someone?" And then I got cheated on, and I was like, "Oh, okay."

JOHN MULANEY STARTERS.

  • Wish me luck out there.
  • That’s pretty good.
  • Nice to see you again.
  • Thank you. That was very nice. Thank you.
  • We’ve all gone too big too fast.
  • You totally forget the lesson.
  • We’re all violent here, but you’re very friendly.
  • I don’t like confrontation.
  • I’ve never been in a fight before.
  • Do not fuck with me.
  • You could pour soup in my lap and I’ll probably apologize to you.
  • I’m so open and vulnerable.
  • I got married since then.
  • I love saying “my wife/husband.”
  • Stay away from my wife/husband!
  • Marriage is gonna be very magical.
  • Being married is so nice.
  • I never knew relationships were supposed to make you feel better about yourself.
  • I’d been in relationships where I got cheated on, like, long ones.
  • I don’t know if you’ve ever been in a long relationship where you got cheated on, but it changes your whole worldview. 
  • How could another person kill someone?
  • I’m not gonna do it, but I totally get it.
  • No one else can have you.
  • I don’t care about that.
  • It’s just creepy to have an ex out there after things have ended badly.
  • They have a lot of information.
  • Anyone who’s seen my dick/pussy and met my parents needs to die.
  • That’s not even a situation.
  • Aw, she’s/he’s ugly.
  • I know that’s awful, but wouldn’t you give a million dollars to see that video? 
  • Cause you know, how you lie to your parents. 
  • I got this under control.
  • They introduced a bunch of new shit.
  • Let’s see. What problems can we solve? Problem one. No.
  • It’s just a little bit wrong, isn’t it?
  • I don’t have any children, I have a dog.
  • Go tell your fucking jokes.
  • Let’s pretend. It’ll be fun.
  • Let’s talk before we go in.
  • What is the animosity about?
  • So, this could be an office. Or maybe a nursery.
  • I went outside about as much as Powder from the movie Powder.
  • I didn’t mean to make it sound like we/I don’t want children. We/I don’t, but I didn’t mean to make it sound like that.
  • Sometimes babies will point at me, and I don’t care for that shit at all.
  • You’re never too young to learn our national no-snitching policy.
  • Someone can’t keep a secret!
  • It’s fun to be married.
  • I’ve never been supervised before.
  • I’m supervised. 
  • I had no supervision when I was a kid.
  • No one cared about my opinion. No one cared what I thought.
  • What do you think you’re doing?
  • I think Emily Dickinson’s a lesbian.
  • That’s not how life works.
  • I have had a very long day.
  • My dad/mom loved us. He/she just didn’t care about our general happiness or self-esteem.
  • My dad/mom is cold-blooded.
  • Are you going to talk the entire time?
  • No one look at me or I’ll kill myself.
  • Hello? Hush!
  • What kind of a person are you?
  • I need you to believe me.
  • Remember, ______, at five o'clock, you need to keep looking like a hard-boiled egg.
  • I think about that every goddamn day.
  • The things they/you say mean nothing to
  • them/you, but they mean everything to me.
  • Eat ass, suck a dick and sell drugs.
  • I’m sorry you all had to hear that.
  • What should I do with my life?
  • What the hell is/are he/she/you trying to pull?
  • Hey, can I walk ya home?
  • It’s not like he’s/she’s gonna remember you.
  • What the hell are you talking about?
  • It was the best night of my entire life.
  • You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair.
  • In terms of instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.
  • I have a lot of stories about being a kid because it was the last time I was interesting.
  • You should be nervous.
The Signs as Nice Things that can Happen
  • aries: someone you really like or look up to playfully teasing you about something you did, and you finding it just as funny as they do
  • taurus: the family you're babysitting for saying you can help yourself to anything in the fridge
  • gemini: the excitement in the air on a friday before a long weekend, everyone eagerly asking about each other's plans, and the collective relief when the day is finally done
  • cancer: someone playing with your hair, falling asleep on your shoulder, or holding your hand for the first time
  • leo: the teacher using something you did as an example of a job well done, as the other members of your class ask how you managed to do it with admiration in their voices
  • virgo: waking up in the middle of the night only to find someone else also awake, both of you sleepy, bedheaded, and in your pajamas
  • libra: being told that someone has been saying nice things about you when you aren't around, or finding out that a person you thought never noticed you actually thinks you're a really cool
  • scorpio: staying up late talking about the deeper, most honest, parts of life with someone you really care about
  • sagittarius: going to a concert and being able to sing the words to every song, feeling the music under your feet and in your bones
  • capricorn: getting home after a long day knowing that theres nothing pressing you have to do that night, being able to take off your shoes, sit down, and relax
  • aquarius: being alone in a place that you've only ever seen when it's crowded, hearing the echo of your footsteps instead of the usual tangle of voices
  • pisces: being somewhere public in the presence of a big storm, everyone in the room gathering to look out the window and comment on the weather
Jimon Week - Day 4

    Jimon Week!
↳ day 4: Food or jimon + details                                    




                                                Red Popsicles        



   Among all the crazy things Jace has done, begging Raphael to give him blood for Simon was probably one of the craziest. But as they had started to live together, he had noticed how his boyfriend was looking at him when they had dinner or breakfast, his expression a mix of envy and sadness. Simon missed food, that he knew already, but these days being unable to eat seemed to make him even more frustrated with his vampire condition.

           Jace had then decided to find a solution and for that had watched every vampire movie he could find. It wasn’t even funny how most mundanes saw vampires as heartless creatures, or as creepy boys shining in broad daylight – he particularly hated these ones –. He had been truly shocked seeing how some of those movies treated vampires as lustful monsters. But there was however,  one movie, Only Lovers Left Alive, that had been able to get his attention, and he actually liked this one, not to mention it had the solution to his problem. Turning blood into popsicles, so maybe, Jace thought, he could just do that for his boyfriend.      


                 “Here.” Raphael said coolly. “I’d ask what’s that for, but I don’t really care, I just hope it’s not for some nasty sexual fetish In other words, don’t waste the blood.”   

        “I don’t have blood fetish.” Jace answered rolling his eyes. “But thank you and… Don’t tell Simon, please.”  


         Raphael raised an eyebrow then shrugged, deciding against asking further details on Jace’s plan. Jace sighed in relief.

           After asking Magnus about whether vampires could drink alcohol or not, Jace found himself in front of a bowl, some popsicle moulds that came with sticks, a bag of blood, cherry liquor and tequila. He pursed his lips, and put the blood in another recipient just so he could forget for a moment that he was actually making blood popsicles.

           Inhaling deeply, he began his preparation, following the lemon sorbet recipe he found on the internet.

           The blood smell was quite disgusting at first but as soon as the alcohols were added, it lost most of its horrifying smell, thank the Angel. Jace almost wished he could taste it, just to be sure what he was doing would please Simon, but blood… Not his thing.

           When the popsicles were finally ready, Jace just had to put his moulds in the freezer  and wait for his boyfriend. He changed into something comfortable, wearing a soft and warm jumper, because tonight Simon wanted to show him the Harry Potter movies and it reminded Jace of the days they had these kind of domestic dates.



                                                     ***


           What Simon did prefer about winter was that, with night falling early, he was able to get home early, and when his boyfriend wasn’t on a mission, it was the best thing in the world.


           “Honey, I’m home!” He called happily.   


                    Jace wasn’t long to join him. 


          “Hey babe.” He said softly before kissing the vampire.

           “How was your day?”  

         “Interesting.” 

          “How so?”   

        “Surprise.” Jace winked and grabbed Simon’s wrist taking him to the living room.


                                                       *** 


          Jace chose to order himself a pizza; he had had enough cooking for one day. When the delivery came, Simon was putting the first DVD on, and Jace took it as an occasion to escape to the kitchen, taking a popsicle out of the freezer.


           “Hey, Simon.” 

          “Hmm?”  

         “There’s something I need to show you.” He announced as he put the pizza to his side of the couch and held the blood sorbet behind his back.


           Simon turned to him, narrowing his eyes suspiciously, which made Jace laugh softly.  


         “What did you do?”

           “I made you something.” He explained, giving the popsicle to Simon. “I see you, you know, when you look at me eating, so… I thought that, as your boyfriend, I could do something about that.”

           “What do you mean?”

           “I watched vampire movies until finally, I found one in which they made that.” He said gesturing to the ice pop Simon was now holding. “Blood popsicle!” 


         Simon looked at him with wide eyes and open mouth.


           “I couldn’t do more, I’m sor-”

           “You’re adorable.”

           “Excuse me, what?”

           “You’re the best boyfriend.”

           “Si-”

           “I love you so much!”


           Simon jumped in his arms and Jace chuckled as he held him softly.


           “Anything for you.” He whispered before kissing him.