plan relief

theatre people as john mulaney quotes
  • Actors: You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair.
  • Director: In terms of, like, instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.
  • Sound techs: The more you do stuff, the better you get at dealing with how you still fail at it a lot of the time.
  • Light techs: No one knows what you're talking about, you idiot!
  • Stage manager: You ever have those days where something happens and you're like... whatever, this may as well happen?
  • Assistant stage manager: I like when things are crazy. Something good comes out of exhaustion.
  • Stage crew: I am very small, and I have no money. You can imagine the kind of stress I'm under.
  • Set builders: This is an on-fire garbage can. ...Could be a nursery.
  • Props department: Because it's the one thing you can't replace.
  • Costume department: Hi, I'm very gay, and I'd like a few dollars.
  • Makeup people: I don't look older. I just look worse.
  • Publicity team: You know how you lie to your parents?
  • Budget board: Eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs.
  • Audience: I'm really sorry about last night, it's just that I'm mean and loud.
Rare Collection of 100 Introvert Quotes That Will Make You Feel Understood

Originally posted by water-aesthetics

Dear introverts, it’s difficult to understand you. Many people don’t comprehend that solitude and feeling alone are different things. As an introvert, you know that your solitude is a sacred space where you can recharge. We encourage you to have a look at these amazingly thoughtful and profound quotes, which will resonate with all introverts.

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HEY CAN WE JUST RECOGNIZE THAT HUNK GARRETT IS NOT JUST COMEDY RELIEF AND HE IS NOT JUST ALL SMILES AND NERVOUSNESS AND DOES NOT ALWAYS THINK ABOUT FOOD???

LOOK AT HOW SERIOUS HUNK IS WHEN THEY ALL MEET ROLO AND NYMA. HE WAS THE ONE WHO DIDNT TRUST ROLO ENTERING THE LIONS. IT WASNT ONLY BECAUSE HE WANTED TO RESCUE SHAY hunay hunay BUT BECAUSE OF WHAT HAPPENED WITH SENDACK AND HOW LANCE AND SHIRO GOT HURT BECAUSE OF IT.

LOOK AT HIS EXPRESSIONS. THESE ARE THE FACES OF A PERSON THAT YOU DO NOT WANT TO MESS AROUND WITH. 

THROUGHOUT THE EPISODE, HUNK WAS TAKING CHARGE IN THE MISSION BACK TO BULMERA TO SAVE SHAY. HE WAS ALSO IN CHARGE OF HOW THEY DEALT WITH ROLO AND NYMA WHEN IT CAME TO PROVIDING PARTS FOR ROLO TO USE BECAUSE OF COURSE HES THE AMAZING ENGINEER WE ALL LOVE HIM TO BE. HUNK IS VERY SMART BOY WHO SPECIALIZES IN  ENGINEERING AND DUDE NO ONE ELSE IN THE GROUP except possibly coran COULD HAVE HELPED ROLO WITH HIS SHIP THIS DUDE IS A MIRACLE WORKER.

HE WAS REALLY SUSPICIOUS OF ROLO AND NYMA AND DUDE

HE WAS RIGHT ABOUT IT.

HUNK REALLY NEEDS TO BE APPRECIATED HE HAS SO MUCH POTENTIAL AND I LOVE HIM. SURE, HE MAY BE OUR SUNSHINE PALADIN BUT WHEN HE IS SERIOUS, HE PROBABLY WONT HESITATE TO KICK SOMEONE’S ASS. HUNK IS UNDER-APPRECIATED. HUNK IS INTELLIGENT. HE IS STRONG. HE IS DETERMINED. AND WHEN THE TIME COMES, HE CAN BE FEARLESS.

TLDR; HUNK ISNT JUST COMEDY RELIEF. DREAMWORKS PLEASE GIVE US MORE HUNK HE HAS SO MUCH POTENTIAL AS A CHARACTER!!!! MORE SERIOUS HUNK PLEASE!!!

check please characters as john mulaney quotes
  • bitty: it’s 100% easier not to do things than to do them
  • jack: in terms of, like, instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin
  • shitty: eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs
  • lardo: i have had a very long day. i am very small and i have no money. so you can imagine the kind of stress i am under
  • ransom: holster and i have a new house. it was built in the '20s, but it was flipped in 2014. which means it's haunted, but it has a lovely kitchen backsplash
  • holster: nothing that i know can help you with your car ever. unless you’re like, “hey, i’ve got a flat tire, does anyone here know a lot about 30 rock”?
  • chowder: it's fun to be married. i’ve never been supervised before. i’m supervised. farmer studies what i do, like an anthropologist. she'll be like, “sometimes, he will watch a movie on tv even though he already owns that movie on dvd. pointing this out confuses and upsets him"
  • nursey: the bad guy would hold the joint in a villainous way. they'd always offer the joint in a way that no one ever holds a joint. like it's a skull in a shakespeare play
  • dex: i’ll keep all my emotions right here, and then one day, i’ll die
  • tango: ah... numbers, the letters of math
  • whiskey: sometimes babies will point at me, and i don’t care for that shit at all
avengers as john mulaney quotes
  • steve rogers: All my money is in a savings account. Tony has explained the stock market to me maybe 75 times. I still don't understand it.
  • tony stark: I was once on the phone with blockbuster video, which is a very old-fashioned sentence. That's like when Steve would be like, "We'd all go play jacks by the soda fountain," and you're like, "Nobody knows what you're talking about , you idiot."
  • clint barton: It's fun to be married. I've never been supervised before. I'm supervised! My wife studies what I do, like an anthropologist. She'll be like: "Sometimes, he will watch a movie on TV even though he already owns that movie on DVD. Pointing this out confuses and upsets him."
  • bruce banner: In terms of instant relief, cancelling plans is like heroin.
  • natasha romanoff: I'll keep my emotions right here, and then one day, I'll die.
  • thor: Ah...numbers. The letters of math.
  • sam wilson: Sometimes babies will point at me, and I don't care for that shit at all.
  • bucky barnes: Here's how easy it was to get away with bank robbery back in the '30s: As long as you weren't there when the police arrived, you had a 99% chance of getting away with it.
  • scott lang: it's 100% easier not to do things than to do them.
  • peter parker: I have had a very long day. I am very small and I have no money. So you can imagine the kind of stress I am under.
  • t'challa: You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair.
More than a natural disaster: How Harvey and Irma put health care, immigrant communities, the environment, and more at risk

In the past few weeks, severe storms including Hurricane Harvey and Hurricane Irma wreaked havoc across the southwest U.S., Mexico, and island territories including the U.S. Virgin Islands, Puerto Rico, and the Caribbean. Dozens of people perished, and many more were displaced from their homes. Some people’s lives will never be the same again.

The truth is that horrifying storms like Harvey and Irma — as well as the earthquake that shook Mexico — reveal the intersections of how natural disasters can impact access to health care, the environment, immigrant communities and folks with low incomes. Here’s how these crises are affecting real people, right now.

Natural disasters = heightened fear for undocumented communities

Donald Trump’s xenophobic plan to end DACA makes Hurricane Harvey even more dangerous for some folks. In Houston, the city with the third largest population of undocumented immigrants, Harvey forced many DACA recipients and mixed-status families to face difficult choices. Already anxious over Trump’s threats of deportation, undocumented people may be even more reluctant to seek out shelter and health care in Harvey’s wake, for fear of being turned away at shelters or facing hostile ICE agents.

The most vulnerable people at risk

Natural disasters affect people with low incomes the most. In Texas and Florida, folks with low incomes are more likely to live in flood-prone areas with deficient infrastructure. This means that evacuating and traveling to get medical assistance is much harder — especially for low-income people with disabilities. There’s an assumption that everyone can and should evacuate when natural disasters happen, but that’s not always possible for everyone. Not everyone can get time off of work, access resources to relocate their family, or find a place to stay.

And in Houston, many families with low incomes live near the city’s oil refineries and petrochemical plants — putting them at risk of contamination, leaks, explosions, and other hazards.

A threat against women’s health

We also can’t forget the danger that natural disasters pose for women. Because of the devastation brought on by Harvey and Irma, women looking for preventive or maternal care and women who need abortions might be blocked from getting help. What’s more, these women could be forced to travel in sometimes dangerous conditions to access the care they need, if they can at all.

In addition, Texas lawmakers have passed medically unnecessary restrictions that have led to health centers closing, jeopardizing women’s health even further. In parts of Texas, some abortion providers offered free safe, legal abortion for survivors of Harvey. But elsewhere, a lot of women don’t have this option.

And it gets worse

Folks with chronic conditions — such as diabetes, endometriosis, or chronic kidney disease — are also at risk. During evacuation, their medications can get lost or destroyed. With dialysis centers, pharmacies, and hospitals closed, there are fewer places for people to get care.

The environment suffers, too

Houston is home to America’s petroleum industry. Significant amounts of flooding spell disaster for those living near chemical factories — and the environment.

With dozens of chemical plants flooding and shutting down due to Harvey, more than one million pounds of toxic pollutants have been released into the air. A flooded factory outside of Houston burst into flames twice, leaking toxic chemicals and sending 15 people to the hospital.

And drinking water — which may have come in contact with sewage systems and contaminated with bacteria like E. coli  — is unsafe to drink in some areas of Houston and Florida. Having safe, healthy environments and clean water is a basic human right, as well as an issue of reproductive rights. Mothers, for example, need clean water to prepare infant formula or to breastfeed their babies.

We stand in solidarity with those affected by Hurricane Harvey and Hurricane Irma

The impact of these natural disasters is personal. Planned Parenthood is an essential health care provider in many of the communities hit hard by these disasters. Several organizations are coming to the aid of those affected by Harvey and Irma. Here’s how you can help:

Texas

Hit by: Hurricane Harvey

Help NOW:

  • Volunteer with Planned Parenthood supporters in relief efforts. Already, more than 150 Planned Parenthood supporters assembled 4,000 period kits for Harvey victims in Houston.

Mexico

Hit by: Hurricane Harvey, Hurricane Irma, Hurricane Katia, earthquake

Help NOW:

Florida

Hit by: Hurricane Irma

Help NOW:

  • Volunteer with Planned Parenthood and other coalition partners to help communities that are most vulnerable. Volunteer Anna Eskamani says, “I volunteered with this effort last night to pass out free food, and the Friday before Irma made landfall, I also volunteered with a homeless outreach group to let the homeless know of their shelter options.”
  • Chip in to the Irma Community Recovery Fund to stand with folks in Florida.

U.S. Virgin Islands, Puerto Rico, and the Caribbean

Hit by: Hurricane Harvey, Hurricane Irma

Help NOW:

Muns For Charity

What are we?

This blog is created and managed by a community of artists and writers from the badly drawn/ask Yuri!!! on Ice fandom. We’ve banded together to take commissions to help raise money and awareness for various causes. The charities that we will be donating to are Planned Parenthood, Flint, Standing Rock, the Trevor Project, and United Muslim Relief. We have no plans to add any more for now as to maximize the amount we donate to each of them.

How can we commission a piece?

You may contact any of the artists at munsforcharity@gmail.com. When you commission anything, please put the name of the artist/writer in the subject. In the body of the email, please detail what you would like and what charity you would like your money to go to from our list of charities–or, we can choose one for you. You can find a list of who you can commission and their prices/what they are willing to draw here. Keep in mind that many of us have busy schedules so make sure that their commissions are open before you email us. After we work out the details and the artist agrees to take on the project, we will request that you donate the money and show us a receipt confirming the transaction. Once that’s done, they will begin working on your commission!

How can I be sure this is going to charity?

Rather than donating the money through us like we originally planned, we will instead have people who want to commission us to donate the required amount directly to an organization from our list! That way, you will be the ones making sure it gets to its destination!

One last thing

If you are interested in being a part of this project, and would like to participate in Muns for Charity, we encourage you to message us, and we will send you an invite to our Discord chat where we discuss information about the project.

journey’s end (of a sort)

fullmetal alchemist au.


The door to Neil’s room slams open, and he can’t even say that he’s surprised to see Andrew behind it. His grip tightens around the railing Hernandez had mounted along the wall, and Neil turns so his back is against it and he’s facing Andrew. He feels himself being observed carefully as Andrew shuts the door behind himself without looking.

Millport automail? This is where you’ve been hiding?” Unlike before, Andrew’s face doesn’t match the bite behind his words. His expression is blank, and Neil wonders if he’s imagining the steel in his eyes.

“I haven’t been hiding,” Neil points out. “Everyone on the team knows I’ve been here.”

Everyone except you, he meant. He hadn’t wanted to distract Andrew from his own recovery.

Maybe a month ago that would have provoked a reaction from Andrew, be it an uncontrollably manic smile or an ugly flash of rage. Instead, Andrew just stares at him flatly. “Do they know you’ve been trying to walk? They must not, because otherwise this room would be full of idiots trying to teach you what ‘recovery’ means.”

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the signs as john mulaney quotes

aries: Here’s a story I once heard about me
taurus: It’s 100% easier not to do things than to do them
gemini: Now when people make fun of me, I deserve it
cancer: This might as well happen
leo: I’m a little fat girl
virgo: Detective! We found a pool of the killer’s blood in that hallway! Mmm… Gross. Mop it up!
libra: I always thought quicksand was gonna be a much bigger problem than it turned out to be
scorpio: No one knows what you’re talking about, you idiot!
sagittarius: In terms of instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin
capricorn: “John, that bathroom’s been closed for FORTY YEARS"
aquarius: I’ll keep all my emotions right here.. and then one day, I’ll die
pisces: Thirteen year olds are the meanest people in the world. They terrify me to this day.

ok but real talk. one of my favourite things of watching Car Boys as it came out and seeing the “lore” unravel was talking about it! like, leaving behind all pretense and cringe and just having a good time making theories and discusing the supposed plot of a freaking car physics simulation game. the morality and motives of the “characters”, pieceing together the dimensions, the history behind the maps.

and i appreciate that so much about the boys. they just broke the game in increasingle inventive ways and talked about it until there was such a rich and deep background and it was full of comedy and horror and so! much! fun!

it was so easy to become invested, and i see now so many people were caught off guard by how emotional they got at the finale. because they made such a special thing. not just a fun series to take your mind off things (though that certainly helped) but an actual story. and we know they’re not really trapped in the time ring forever, but the personas they created are; in a eternal chase against the blob, floating through the void with only elton john and each other for company…

it’s bittersweet. but it was impressive to say the least. and i’m glad i got to experience it, that they chose to take this route and share the trip with us. and i know it’ll stay with me for some time :’)

No Longer The Sharpshooter

“-ance!  Lance, you gotta open your eyes, dude!”  Lance let out a low groan and his heavy eyes began to inch open for him to see Hunk’s worried face hovering over his own.  Lance could see Shiro and Keith behind his best friend and slowly pushed himself up so he could get a better look around the dank cell.  He’d definitely classify this as a cell.

Shiro was clutching his shoulder with his robotic arm, blood seeping out between his metal fingers.  Keith looked all scratched up with small cuts littering his body, one especially deep on left cheek that seemed to still be leaking drops of blood.  Lance looked even closer at Hunk as well to notice that he was pretty badly roughed up as well and was definitely favoring his right ankle.

“What’d I miss?  Damn, I hope no cute aliens passed by while I was out,” Lance quipped, attempting to make the atmosphere a little lighter.  Shiro sighed and gave a lopsided smile, appreciating Lance’s attempt to lighten the situation.

“We’re in Zarkon’s torturing chamber, one of them at least, now really isn’t the time to be joking around, dude.”  Hunk rested his back up against the wall and sighed while rubbing a muscle out in his neck.  “We only woke up a few minutes ago though, we’re just basing that off of Shiro’s uh,” Hunk shot an apologetic glance at Shiro, “experiences.”

Lance sat up and a pained yelp slipped out from his lips, it felt like his back had been set on fire.  “I-I think my back might be hurt,” The Cuban gritted out through his teeth.  Lance wiped at the crusty feeling under his nose to have his hand come back tinted a dark red.  Keith shuffled around to get behind Lance, grimacing at the sight.

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John Mulaney Sentence Starters
  • : Here's how easy it was to get away with a bank robbery in the 30s: as long as you weren't still there when the police arrived, you had a 99% chance of getting away with it.
  • : It's 100% easier to do things than to do them.
  • : I was once on the telephone with blockbuster.
  • : I think Emily Dickinson's a lesbian.
  • : Being president looks like the worst job in the world.
  • : Why do people shush animals? They've never spoken.
  • : Things don't exist until they exist.
  • : You have the moral backbone of a chocolate éclair.
  • : You all have a relative who is an expert even though they really don't know what they're talking about.
  • : Sometimes babies will point at me, and I don't care for that shit at all.
  • : I definitely look like a toddler.
  • : You will die on August 7th, 2037.
  • : Everyone get out of the way! I just want to sit here and feed my birds.
  • : One feels like a duck splashing around in all this wet!
  • : Anyone who's seen my dick and met my parents needs to die.
  • : They haven't let their minds wander since Egypt.
  • : Adult life is already so goddamn weird!
  • : This is an on fire garbage can.
  • : I look like I was just sitting in a room in a chair eating saltines for like twenty-eight years.
  • : In terms of instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.
  • : Would like an old turnip that we found in a cabinet?
  • : Quack quack!
  • : I'll keep all my emotions in here and one day I'll die.

anonymous asked:

Bokuaka, relief.... for the prompts :))

Akaashi is late.

This is a sentence that almost never happens, and it scares Koutarou a lot. Koutarou himself is often late to a variety of things: school, dentist appointments, weekend hangouts, buses, dates. The only thing he’s not late to is volleyball practice.

But Akaashi. Akaashi is not someone who arrives late—he doesn’t even arrive on time, he arrives early. He once admitted to Koutarou that it makes him anxious when he keeps other people waiting, so he’d rather take the earlier bus and scout out the place where he can see the other person coming. Koutarou doesn’t really understand, but it’s what makes Akaashi Akaashi, so he just shrugged and apologized for being late to their shopping trip.

Akaashi is late today.

Koutarou has checked his phone twenty-four times in sixteen minutes. He’s paced back and forth in front of the train station enough times that the security guard is eyeing him warily. He’s sent thirteen texts and seven voicemails to Akaashi’s phone, but there hasn’t been a single reply. Koutarou’s hands are shaking. He’s scared.

He pulls out his phone again, meaning to dial Kuroo or Konoha or someone who has a calmer, better head on their shoulders than he does. Someone who can tell him to sit down and stop overreacting. Someone who can tell him that Akaashi’s just fine, he’s probably overslept because Koutarou kept him up last night video-chatting him about his latest term paper, maybe he got held up helping an old lady find her cat because Akaashi’s nice that way, even though he doesn’t really like cats. Yeah, Akaashi’s just fine. He’s on his way. His phone is dead. He’s not dead. 

Akaashi is late, and Koutarou is on his knees in front of the station stairs, blocking people’s path but he’s breathing a little too fast, clutching his phone a little too hard, panicking a little too much. There are concerned voices above his head, but his vision is all blurry. Is he crying? Again? What a baby, Koutarou is. 

“Bokuto-san.”

He still doesn’t understand why Akaashi would want to arrive early to his appointments, this waiting game is no fun, no fun at all.

“Bokuto-san.”

There’s a slight pressure on his shoulders, and Koutarou glances up to find familiar green eyes watching him in quiet worry. It takes him a moment to catch his breath again, to recognize the boy with the messy curls kneeling in front of him.

“A-Akaaagsheee,” he says, but Akaashi understands him just fine. “Y-You’re l-l-late.”

Akaashi nods. He helps him up, leading him to the side so people aren’t staring at them anymore. He offers Koutarou tissues from his pocket, always prepared, but he keeps a hand on Koutarou, letting him know he’s here. He’s here. 

“My phone died this morning,” Akaashi says, “and I had to take my neighbour’s kids to their daycare. It’s not an excuse to make you worry though. I’m sorry.”

Koutarou shakes his head. His hand is probably squeezing too hard on Akaashi’s hand, but the other boy doesn’t complain. The panic has receded, leaving behind heavy relief, crashing through Koutarou hard enough to make him want to sit down. So he does. Akaashi follows suit, sitting closer than usual, close enough to press his side against Koutarou.

“You’re here now. It’s okay.”

“I’m here,” Akaashi agrees.


feel free to send in a prompt!

More Than Good | R.M.

imagine requested by @rxggie-mxntle

Summary: In which you, a student-athlete, believes that you are not good enough. Reggie Mantle thinks otherwise.

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The Accidental Husband

Part 1 - Breakups and Marriages

Fireman!Dean x Reader

A/N: This is an AU inspired by the namesake movie. It doesn’t follow the same storyline, just the main concept.

Summary: Dean gets dumped and apparently it’s all your fault. That’s why he and Charlie decide that a little payback is not gonna hurt and, if it does, well… then it’s just karma.

Word Count: 1800+

Tags: @mrswhozeewhatsis @why-do-you-want-my-user-name @daydreamingintheimpala @driverpicksthemuusic  @mysoul4dean @thing-you-do-with-that-thing  @amoreagron @spnfangirl1965 @aristtewinchesterholmes @thisisthelilith @chelsea072498 @skymoonandstardust 

Originally posted by frozen-delight

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New In Town Starters

“I don’t look older, I just look worse.”

“I always thought quicksand was gonna be a much bigger problem than it turned out to be”

“if you watch cartoons, quicksand is like the third biggest thing you have to worry about in adult life behind real sticks of dynamite and anvils falling on you from the sky.”

“I think I’m becoming more like my mom. I was watching Access Hollywood, and one of the reporters said ‘up next we have and exclusive interview with Sandra Bullock’s former husband, Jesse James.’ And out loud I went ‘uhg! This oughta be good!’”

“One time I was in bed and my dad came in and said ‘good night (name) did you brush your teeth?’ And I said ‘yes’ but here’s the thing… I hadn’t.”

“If the court reporter reads back my remarks you will see that I did not purger myself.”

“She would just make wild accusations all day long and wait for something to stick.”

“My mom would blame me for things that happened on the news. That is true.”

“(Name) I have been here all night! You can feel the tv, it’s warm.”

“Luckily I had a good alibi because I was in Wisconsin and twelve.”

“My brothers and sisters and I had this babysitter when we were kids and I was in love with her.”

“Why was she in charge?!”

“That’s just like hiring a slightly bigger child.”

“That would be like if you were going out of town for the week and you paid a horse to watch your dog.”

“Why do people shush animals? They’ve never spoken.”

“This is the height of luxury!”

“Lost in New York? The streets are numbered! How did you get lost in New York?”

“It’s a grid system motherfucker. Where you at? 24th and 5th? Where you wanna go? 35th and 6th? 11 up and 1 over you simple bitch.”

“When I was in grade school I was bullied for being Asian American and… the biggest problem with that… is that I am not Asian american.”

“On the first day that he met me, the guy that is now my best friend went home and said ‘papa, today I met a boy with no eyes’ and that was me.”

“Thirteen year olds are the meanest people in the world. They terrify me to this day.”

“8th graders will make fun of you but in an accurate way.”

“No! that’s the thing I’m sensitive about!”

“First off: no.”

“If you’re comparing the badness of two words and you won’t even say one of them, that’s the worse word.”

“Midgets were never enslaved! Unless you count the Wonka factory!”

“It was really easy to get away with murder before they knew about DNA.”

“Here’s how easy it was to get away with bank robbery back in the 30s: as long as you weren’t still there when the police arrived, you had a 99% chance of getting away with it.”

“Oh good it has a mind of its own, that’s very reassuring.”

“It’s 100% easier not to do things, and so much fun not to do them. Especially when you were supposed to do them.”

“In terms of like instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.”

“I’ve never been killed by hit men, so I don’t know what it’s like in the moments right before you’re killed by hit men, but I bet it’s not unlike when you’re on the subway and you realize that a mariachi band is about to start playing.”

“It doesn’t have to be right, it just has to be short.”

“A hero is any man that does his job.”

“A bozo is any man that cheats on his wife.”

“I went into the room to get the massage and the woman there told me to undress to my comfort level. So I put on a sweater and a pair of corduroy pants, and I felt safe.”

“Hey mister! I found your treasure!”

“If I got a plate of crack for the table would you have some?”

“I have a girlfriend now myself, which is weird because I’m probably gay, based on how I act and behave and have walked and talked for 28 years.”

“I think I was supposed to be gay. I think in heaven they built like three quarters of a gay person and they forgot to flip the final switch and just sent me out.”

“Everyone get out of my way! I just wanna sit here and feed my birds.”

“You want me to do what?”

“We’ve been going pretty hot and heavy lately, I think it’s time we brought in two older catholic people.”

“I listen to everything my girlfriend says. I don’t mean she bosses me around, I just mean that before I had a girlfriend, I never had someone who was always standing next to me and could just point out obvious things that are happening.”

“I don’t look like someone who used to do anything.”

“Oh hey, (name), would you like an old turnip we found in a cabinet? Would that be good for you? Would you like that? I know you don’t drink!”

“I’m really sorry about last night, I was just so drunk.”

“I’m really sorry about last night, it’s just that I’m mean and loud. It probably will happen again.”

“I don’t drink anymore because I used to drink too much and I would black out and ‘ruin parties’ –or so I’m told.”

“ I was 20 and I was at a party at someone’s house and I blacked out drinking and someone came out of one of the rooms at this party holding an old antique bottle with some liquid in it and they said ‘hey, is this whiskey or perfume?’ And apparently I grabbed it, drank all of it and said ‘it’s perfume.’ And it was.”

“(name) was an asshole and one weekend he and his wife decided to leave town, which you should never do if you’re an asshole.”

“Okay, lets go over there and destroy the place.”

“I walked into this party, everyone I had ever met was there and everyone was drinking like it was the end of the world.”

“People were drinking like it was the civil war and a doctor was coming to saw our legs off.”

“They had a pool table in the basement, one kid got a running start and threw his body onto the pool table and broke it in half.”

“I’m standing in the basement and I’m holding a red cup - you’ve seen movies - and I’m starting to black out. And I guess someone said like ‘something something police’ and in a brilliant moment of word association, I shouted ‘FUCK DUH POLICE’ and everyone else joined in. A hundred white, drunk children yelling ‘fuck. duh. police’ with the confidence of guys that have like already been to jail and aren’t afraid of it anymore.”

“My friend – who is now a father, this man now has a baby – grabbed a 40, smashed it on the ground and yelled ‘SCATTER!’ And everyone ran in different directions.”

“I ran into the laundry room and hopped up onto the washing machine and climbed out a window into the back yard and I’m running through the back yard and there’s this huge chain link fence and I thought ‘I have never climbed a fence that high before!’ And then I woke up and home.“

“And I said ‘no’ you know, like a liar.”

“And I had that thought, that only black out drunks and Steve Urkel can have: did I do that? I figured no, I wouldn’t have done that, but I was never sure.”

“he takes me into his bedroom and then he takes me into a side room off of his bedroom- never a good thing to have.”

“WHY? WHY DO YOU DO THIS?”

“Because it’s the one thing you can’t replace.”

“That’s the end of that story but how fucked up is that?”

“I was going into my building late at night and in front of my building I saw a wheel chair knocked over on its side, with no one in it. That’s a bad thing to see. Something happened there, you hope it was a miracle, but probably not.”

“That wasn’t what I was telling you, but alright, let’s talk about this entirely new topic.”

“Excuse me, I am homeless, I am gay, I have AIDS and I’m new in town.”

“That is not the most dramatic thing that you just said.”

“Hey would you help me out? I’m very gay, I’d like a few dollars.”

“Yeah that’s the type of lowbrow shit I’m looking for.”

Back to the Future: Part 7

Pairing: Castiel x reader

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: smut, porn gifs, oral (female receiving), angst, blood, injury, pregnancy, fluff (a little bit of everything, eh?)

~porn gifs from my blog fuckablecas ahead, my friends~

Back to the Future Masterlist

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With a snap of Zachariah’s fingers and a wave of nausea from the sudden jump of time, the three of you had landed back in the map room of the bunker, startling Sam and Dean.

“Alright!” Zach clapped his hands, a gleeful smile on his face. “Now that I’ve held up my end of the bargain, it’s time for you to hold up yours. Ready to call Michael on down?”

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4

Forest God art doll.

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Forest God is a character from the movie “Princess Mononoke”. This doll is a fanart which I was going to do a long time ago.  All the details have been ready long ago, but I could finish this work only recently and If I would start it again, I made it look a little bit differently to be honest. Anyways I decided to finish this doll as planned and feel relief now :)

Made of super sculpey, thermoplastic , faux fur, rabbit fur, wire+plastic armature, primer, acrylic paint, varnish. Its horns are made of unbreakable plastic so they are very solid. Its neck has a plastic ball and socket armature inside so it can turn his head. The tail and legs have wire armature inside and narrow posable.