places i've been too

| ^・ω・^)ノ

When I was 17, from a kinda terrible home, newly out as Trans, and hugely angsty, Anthony Head took me into his life, and for the first time I was made to feel that I was worth something, he told me that he believed in me and that I should follow my dreams.

He then proceeded to spend the next few years proving those were not empty words. Now I just turned 20, I know that I’m loved, and I followed my dreams. I’m studying at university, a national award winning poet, and this is the dedications page of my second book:

Trust me when I say, life gets better. So much better. And dreams, they can certainly come true.

A Good Brother

Since he was a little boy, Charles Weasley saw Voldemort as his personal boggeyman. Even if  he’d never met the man in person, little Charlie was terrified of that person who’s name shouldn’t be said that made his parents sad and angry. He would ask every night for his  parents to check under his bed if he wasn’t there. The idea of a mass murderer hiding in his son’s room always started an ugly laughter in Arthur Weasley’s throat. But every night, he complied and assured Charlie he was safe and had nothing to fear. It was a lie of course. They both knew it.

Charlie knew he was right to be scared when he was eight and he saw his mother cry for the first time. He entered the kitchen one morning and saw her curled on her chair, a piece of parchement resting on the table. Charlie sneaked in to try and read the paper. His first fear was that something happened to one of his brothers. Because that was what his dad and mum often talked about when they thought Bill and Charlie were asleep. The words were small and complicated, but Charlie could decypher two names, Fabian and Gideon. His parents hated lying to their children, so they told them that their uncles were fighting You-Know-Who and died.  They didn’t say they were killed, but Charlie kind of understood that. He wasn’t sure what death really was just yet, but Bill told him it meant he would never see his uncles again. When he saw the twin caskets, a couple days later and watched them disappear in the ground, Charlie cried. He didn’t make a noise, because no one was talking, and you’re not supposed to be loud if everyone else is quiet. He simply gripped Bill’s hand and followed him around. For years, Charlie would dream of twin caskets in which his siblings were resting.

At school, Charlie was gentle and popular enough that people didn’t make fun of him if he ever got surprised crying because he was missing his brothers and sister. They would simply go look  for Bill, and later Percy, and either would comfort him and help him write letters home. Charlie was terribly bad with words and never knew how to get his thoughts across. In return for his letters, he would get drawings and pictures. He kept them preciously in his bedside table.

When he was thirteen, Charlie kissed a girl. She was pretty and smelled nice but even he didn’t feel much. There was no butterfly or firework in his belly like he’d been told he’d feel. At sixteen, Charlie kissed a boy, and though it was nice enough too, it wasn’t special enough to have him wanting to do it often. He’d learned about dragons the previous year though, during a class of Care About Magical Creatures. That lit his eyes up and made him daydream far more than any kisses could.

Charlie left Hogwarts the summer before Ron entered it. He left home in August, and headed to Romania to study dragons. He’d already read every book from the Library and was ready to meet people who’d understand his passion. Charlie made friends, and was teased for chosing a hermit life  in forests with giant lizards over becoming a Quidditch star. He didn’t mind, because at the end of the day, he got to see dragon eggs and share hot cocoa with his colleagues. The highlight of his year was still when his parents and sister came to visit. He also managed to get Bill to drop by. They got drunk and Bill listened to him cry about how much he missed all of their siblings. Charlie kept the drawings and photographs in a tiny box in his trunk. When spring came around and he received Ron’s letter asking him to smuggle a baby dragon, all his friends exploded in laughter and were ready to go before he even finished his explanations. They already knew Charlie would do anything for his siblings.

Charlie wasn’t there when Ron got hurt saving the world at the end of his first year. He came back for summer and bought Ron as many candies as he could eat. Sometimes, being a good brother is in discreet celebrations.

Charlie wasn’t there when his baby sister got possessed and left for dead in a mythical chamber. When summer came and Ginny left school, paler and more silenced than ever, Charlie kept a vigilant  eye on her. He didn’t go back to Romania for months. And when Arthur won the Daily Prophet Grand Prise Galleon Draw, Charlie was the one to suggest they should all go visit Bill. Sometimes, being a good brother is knowing your presence and a change of scenary are the best medicine.

Charlie was there when the Death Eaters attacked supporters celebrating a victory - or drinking the bitter taste of loss away. He went to fight alongside the Ministry to protect his siblings and everyone who needed it. He also stayed the rest of the summer in the Burrow. Sometimes, being a good brother is making sure your siblings and their friends have an open ear if they need to talk their fears away.

Charlie wasn’t there when Harry, his adopted but estranged sibling, watched Voldemort come back from the dead. From Charlie’s childhood nightmares. He learned about it in one of Ginny’s letters and got his worst burns when her words resonnated in his head as he was tending a dragon. In his head, Ginny had that same terrified voice as when she was twelve and asking him if Tom would come back. Charlie felt like he’d been lying to her for years, telling her she was safe and had nothing to fear. That Tom would never come back. Sometimes, being a good brother is forgetting how life doesn’t always follow your hopes.

Charlie wasn’t there when his father got attacked by an evil snake. Charlie wasn’t there when Dumbledore’s tiny army raided the Ministry. He came back to see the greying hair on his father’s head and the scars on Ron’s arms. Ron laughed it off. Charlie cried it out. Sometimes, being a good brother is shading tears other people won’t cry.

Charlie lived in Romania. He loved it, loved the people, the country, and above all his job. But when Charlie came back to Bill’s comatose and broken face, he considered never leaving again. Bill had always been his best friend, his safety in the chaos that was their family. Charlie hugged Fleur and helped her chose her wedding dress. He was Bill’s best man and joked, more than once, that Bill was actually the best man he knew. The three of them got drunk at a pub a few miles from the Burrow and he recalled every embarassing moment of Bill’s childhood. Sometimes, being a good brother is making your sibling blush and hit you in the face as their fiancée is bending in laughter and coughing beer out of her nose.

Charlie wasn’t there when Fred died.

Charlie was there to see his mother cry and his brothers collapse.

Charlie was there to see Ginny stand, tall and proud and clutching Harry’s hand so she wouldn’t get lost.

Sometimes, being a good brother is knowing that there are days when you can’t be the good brother.

Charlie was there when Victoire was born.

Charlie was there to see Bill cry and his siblings scream.

Charlie was there to hold the tiny baby and let her grip his finger.

Charlie was there when Ginny wrote that she was pregnant and wanted to see him. Everytime.

Charlie was there when Fred II asked to learn how to fly and neither George nor Angelina had the heart to teach him.

Charlie was there when Lucy got in another fight with her parents and needed a place to let her anger out. He was also there to bring her back home and make sure she’d apologize to Percy.

Charlie was there when Hugo felt inadequate and lonely in their giant family.

Charlie was there to talk about kissing boys and girls, about how sometimes people liked it and sometimes they just didn’t care.

Charlie was there to give pets as presents, as siblings and in-laws pretended they didn’t know about it.

Charlie was there every step of the way in his nieces and nefews’ lifes.

He quickly needed a larger box to gather all the drawings and pictures he kept receiving. (Hermione gave him an enchanted one)

Sometimes, being a good brother is being a good uncle.


that i appreciate you all so damn much?! like, i totally love you all to bits. i want you all to fulfill your dreams and have at least one happy moment per day.  i want you all to be strong and healthy and blooming. i want you all to live well and prosper. and i want you all to appreciate each other too. because you’re all great af.

this has been a gentle psa.

The moon loved the sun;
That’s how the story goes.
But the universe cares not for star-crossed loves
And the story ends as it began:   
The moon loved the sun.
—  but love is not always enough // p.s.

anonymous asked:

I hope it's alright to ask this, I honestly don't know where else to go. Lately I've been have some pretty terrible thoughts and urges that I can't act on because /I'm supposed to be better/. I don't know how to make them stop. I've started antidepressants but I'm only a few days in. I am so so sorry if I shouldn't of sent this. I'm sorry.

no love, it’s perfectly alright. i understand how you’re feeling, but i have to tell you something. you’re not supposed to better. there is no supposed to. you want to get better, and you want to fight these terrible thoughts and terrible urges. and you know what? you are. you fight them every day, and for that, you’re already doing better than “supposed to be better”. you’re fighting.

further, you’re trying to get better. you’ve started antidepressants, and for that, i’m really proud of you. starting medication can always be scary, if not for stigma, for fear of what it’ll do, what it won’t do. antidepressants are however, simply balancing out the chemicals in your brain. a lot of people under stress or even just being themselves end up with an imbalance. it’s like waking up with a broken leg. you wouldn’t tell someone with a broken leg they were supposed to be up and walking by now, especially if the break is just as bad as the day it arrived, if not worse.

you can be proud of yourself, proud of fighting and proud of wanting to get better, because that’s the first step and really, the only motivation you need. no one can take away your want to get better. give your medication at least a week or two to kick in, and also keep track of if it makes you feel better or worse. sometimes the first meds aren’t the right ones, and that’s okay, you just need to keep trying new ones.

the world will go on with you in it, and things will change. the meds will kick in, the broken leg might be really bad some days, but it will be manageable a lot of days too. you’ll get to talk to people you love, your friends, do things you love. grow and learn. you’re doing so well, and i really am so proud of you.

Day 5: Ten years later

Whew, so late but here he is! I’d imagine Natsume would start working in perhaps some office job but not too far from his home. I doubt Madara would yet be willing to part ways with Natsume :D

For @natsumeweek

posh residential areas of england gothic
  • you are in queen’s court. you were supposed to be in queen’s lane - or was it queen’s road? you see a sign pointing you towards queen’s street, and you realise you no longer know where you are or where you should be. you fall to your knees, hopelessly lost in this queen’s maze.
  • “private road”, says the traffic sign. “no entrance.” looking down the road, you see it’s fully signalled, with lights, signs and markings on the asphalt. however, it seems to lead to nowhere and you never see anyone using it. you wonder about the mysteries of the private road.
  • walking past a row of houses, you see how neatly the hedges have been cut into walls. a bit too neatly, in fact; all of them blend together and become nearly featureless green rectangles. you feel like you’re in a computer simulation with low-poly graphics, and for a second you doubt the reality of everything around you.
  • you walk past a church. it is old and grandiose, truly a historical relic. a couple of blocks later, you walk past a church. it is old and grandiose. truly a historical relic. you turn to another street and walk past a church. it is old and grandiose, truly a historical relic.

All my favourite conversations
Always made in the A.M.

  • Kenma: Kuroo can you come find me I think I'm lost
  • Kuroo: If you got yourself lost playing Pokemon Go I swear--
  • Kenma: I caught an Eevee, I'll name it Kuroo if you come get me
  • Kuroo: I'm on my way

hello friends! i plan on using my winter break wisely this year and am going on a trip somewhere fun instead of going on a trip to see my family in the snowier bits of canada. that means…..i’m going to tokyo! for about 8 days.

(or i intend to, that is. i suppose that depends on whether or not i can muster up the courage to purcha$e the plane ticket$ because holy $hit they expen$ive.)

i intend to stay in the city and take some day trips out of it (so far to kamakura, nikko, and yokohoma). i have no plans of going to kyoto, osaka, or mt fuji just because i’m going to those places on a larger trip to japan with my family next year. 

i was wondering if anyone had any suggestions/tips about what i have to do/see/eat while i’m in tokyo? 

anything would be great to hear! :D

love y’all.

Something that needs to be addressed

For the past few months, it has come to my attention that the chat of the Escastream, is getting out of hand. And by getting out of hand, I mean GETTING OUT OF HAND. What I like to point out as a long term Seduce Me fan, is that the Erik topic has been constantly flooded in the chat at the most random times desperately towering other comments with Erik this, Erik that, Erik is bae/hot/sexy, omg do the Erik voice, Erik’s sex scene was steamy etc. I understand the love for this incubus, but it’s been nothing but Erik everytime the stream is happening. Whenever Erik from Seduce Me is mentioned, BOOM the chat becomes sexual real quick. This is a major problem, especially now that there are MINORS coming in and watching his streams.

Another thing I want to get off my chest, Chris is not Erik. It’s noticeable enough that a handful of SM fans in his streams are obsessed with a character he voiced in. A particular group in the chat have become attached and obsess over the VA because of it. To the few who decided to put Chris and Erik together in those said sexual conversations. For the love of Jeebus, why? Why was it a good idea to do this to the poor man? Honestly, I’m really worried about his safety and how these group of people that are seeing him that way is sickening. I really want these handful of people to acknowledge and differentiate between the fictional character and VA.

Please understand that the lovable Music-senpai is extremely uncomfortable with sexual content and the heavy swearing, yet some of his viewers seem to forget about the absolute important rules and toss them out the window. This is exactly what happened with the whole Laito situation when he fan voiced that character long ago. The chat is nothing but Erik and sexual things are being said, to the point that the streams are less enjoyable for others to watch without feeling super uncomfortable or annoyed by Seduce Me when the few other viewers are not fans of.

Honestly, seeing and observing THIS kind of behavior in his streams, is breaking my heart. He has done so much more than just voicing a flirtatious character. His beautiful music that he creates, his ability to play almost every instrument, his wonderful singing skills, and his absolute silliness. HIS VOICE WORK he has done from Attack on Space, Blind Love, Choose Me, Final Melody, Genius Insanity, and among others. All of his incredible talent, has been completely overshadowed by Erik. Chris can’t be known as Erik forever. I truly wish someone would see that…