pj trip

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Hated You From Hello

Hi there! So this is my first original Phanfic, I decided to do an ‘‘enemies to lovers’‘ fic since I love those and I wanted to write one all by myself. Hope you like it!

summary: Dan and Phil started working at the same company two years ago, and after a bad start they have arguments almost every day. What will happen when something horrible happens to one of them?

word count: 5.6k

warnings: deals with animal death, stages of grieving

Dan Howell and Phil Lester had been enemies for about two years now. They worked at the same office, and they both had gotten the jobs in the same week, so it had been kind of a competition when they both ended doing almost the same job at the same time.

Dan, who had gotten the job first, remembers being jealous of Phil, because as soon as he had started working, their boss had already complimented his work! ‘I haven’t been given any credit yet, and that bastard has got it all’ Dan bitterly thought when he saw the scene.

On the contrary, a few days later, Phil remembers introducing himself with a smile to Dan. He now recalls the stare Dan gave him, it wasn’t full hate, but yet he could see that they weren’t going to be friends.

So, that’s when all the ‘’enemies’’ thing started.

They were having another argument right now, and even though they were being noticeable, no one in the office seemed to care about it. They had been listening to their constant bickering since they had both started in there so, why bother?

‘’You always mess up your work, Phil! Why are you so careless about this?’’ Dan said, angrily grabbing the papers that were in his table.

‘’I’m not careless! I know what I’m doing and those papers that you have in your hands prove it! Read them again if you care!’’ and with that Phil stormed out, tired of arguing with Dan.

This was strange. Phil never walked out from an argument with Dan. Their arguments usually ended when they both looked intensely into each other’s eyes for a minute and then, they both parted ways.

A now confused Dan walked back into his desk and tiredly sat down, not even thinking twice about what had happened.

__________________

In the meantime, Phil, who had stormed out hid in the storage closet of the office and was silently crying. He couldn’t deal with more arguments when his life was going literally downhill right now.

Phil lived alone, well, he had a big brown labrador called Brownie (yeah, it had reminded him of his favourite dessert when he adopted him so why not call him that?) who already was old. It was such a nice and intelligent dog. He always would notice if Phil was feeling sick or sad and tried to cheer him up by giving his old worn out blanket to Phil. Brownie was the best dog ever.

A few weeks ago they went to the vet, Phil sensed that something was wrong with Brownie since he wasn’t eating well and got tired about 10 minutes into their 45 minute walk. When the vet had told him that Brownie had cancer he literally burst into tears. He was going to lose the only thing that didn’t make him lonely.

You see Phil had always felt lonely and been lonely. His parents had always focused on his older brother, and at first he didn’t mind it much but he started to notice they didn’t love him because apparently he had been a surprise child and they didn’t want him in the first place. His parents had told him he would get everything he needed but it seems like you can’t buy love.

So, when he finished with uni, worked a full year to get enough money and moved out of his house trying to escape from that life in London. After a few months working in a horrible company, his friend PJ from uni had contacted him. Apparently, he had seen on Facebook that he was staying in London and PJ was working for an enterprise who was looking for new people with PJ’s similar experience. So, that’s why he was now stuck in the same office as Dan Howell, his ultimate enemy.

PJ was his friend and knew everything about Phil’s situation, but not about Brownie’s. He hadn’t told him yet. And apparently it was now because PJ had opened the storage door and found him there, crying into a tissue he had had in his pocket.

‘’Hey Phil, why are you crying? I know you and Howell had and argument earlier but I didn’t know it even made you cry…’’ PJ said, wandering into they almost completely dark room enveloping Phil in a hug.

Phil clung into him, a few tears still rolling down his cheeks. He took a deep breath and began explaining ‘’Brownie has cancer, and the vet said he has a few weeks left, they don’t think he will manage to live, he is old and…’’ Phil, took a shaky breath but he could speak anymore.

PJ rubbed his back, trying his best to comfort his friend ‘’Hey, don’t worry Phil, you will always have me, okay?’’

‘’Okay’’ Phil quietly replied after letting out another and last shaky breath.

__________________

Phil was trying to make the best of his time with Brownie so both could have the best memories ever. He still could remember the day he adopted him.

He had decided he had wanted a dog, one that would make him go outside so he wouldn’t lay all day in bed with his computer. He arrived early at the animal shelter, so he could patiently think (and spend more time petting them) what dog he should get.

Phil noticed that a brown Labrador had been recently rescued from a house fire. Since the family that had adopted him in the first place didn’t have a home now, they brought him to the shelter not making any promises about getting him back.

The dog, which was sleeping, was still recovering from some superficial burns, but he seemed like a good dog that Phil could take care of.

‘’This is it, this is the one I want to adopt’’ he said, he pet the dog in twice in the head, making him wake up and rapidly standing up to lick Phil’s face. He burst out laughing, ‘’welcome to this lonely family’’ he whispered.

‘’C’mon Brownie, let’s go home’’ he said with a sad smile, taking a few steps forward so Brownie could follow him.

__________________

Brownie died that same night. Phil was left crying all night, on the floor, next to his beloved dog, who now rested peacefully. When he saw the sun rising, he called his vet so he would come to his house and pick Brownie. He had wanted to bury him in his favourite hill, where they would go every once in a while and where he had seen Brownie the happiest.

His vet had explained, that they could bury him this evening if he wanted, after he had made sure Brownie’s death had been natural. Phil absently nodded and let the vet take his dog that he could pick later so he could bury him where he had said before.

After the vet had left, he called PJ, who unfortunately was on a trip and couldn’t comfort him much by phone. He was extremely sorry he had to bury Brownie alone. He didn’t really want Phil to be alone right now. Not after having been lonely for almost all his life.

Phil, after all of this didn’t want to go into work but he didn’t have another choice so he took a brief and warm shower, dressed himself and picked up his keys and wallet before mindlessly walking his way to work.

__________________

Dan had arrived early today into the office. He picked up a coffee and started up his computer. He suddenly heard the elevator open, oh it was Phil, nice way to ruin his morning. Wait, was it Phil? It didn’t seem like it.

He checked his appearance. His sneakers where badly laced up, his shirt was the same as yesterday’s (only know it was wrinkled), his hair was messed up and his eyes were red (probably from not sleeping). It seemed like Phil had had a night of passion with someone. He decided he would go and tease him about it.

‘’Hey Phil, see you had a crazy one night stand yesterday I see? Same shirt, messed up hair… Why did you even show up before even changing? Wanted to show everyone in the office that you can hook up with someone?’’ Dan teased, wanting to rile Phil up and starting another argument with him.

Phil, a bit startled but listening to what Dan was saying he wanted to punch him in the face and tell him what it had really happened but he couldn’t do it. So, he stared at him, curtly nodded and started walking his way to his desk.

Dan, not really understanding why Phil hadn’t picked up an argument yet decided to leave it for now and retired to the coffee room so he could call PJ and that way he could get some juicy information to tease Phil later.

‘’Hey PJ, how’s the trip going?’’ Dan happily said.

‘’Oh, hey Dan, nice to hear your voice. What’s up?’’ PJ asked.

‘’Well, I don’t know if you know but do you know something about Phil’s hook up last night? He showed at the office with his hair all messed up and the same clothes of yesterday, man. He doesn’t have any dignity left or what?’’ Dan laughed, expecting PJ’s witty response.

‘’Dan, actually, Phil’s dog died last night. He had been diagnosed with cancer and he only had a few weeks left,’’ PJ answered, a completely serious voice on his tone ‘’please don’t be an insensitive prick and tease him about something like that right now, okay?’’, he said in an angry shushed tone.

Dan, who was shocked at the news didn’t know what to say. He was feeling like the worst person in the world right now. Apparently Phil’s dog had died and he had teased him about hooking up with someone? Oh god. He was definitely the worst person on Earth right now.

‘’PJ, I… I… I didn’t know. I will go apologize, don’t worry’’ Dan said, sincerity noticeable in his voice. He couldn’t imagine if that happened to him.

‘’You better, Dan Howell, you better.’’ PJ said, his angry tone subsiding. Now, in a concerned voice he explained ‘’Dan, could you do me a favour? I don’t know if you will do it but you should’’.

‘’What is it?’’ Dan wondered, not expecting what PJ’s words could really be.

‘’Phil is going to bury his dog today late in the evening in Primrose Hill. You should go and keep him company Dan. I’m not there and he will need someone. He loved his dog so much.’’ PJ asked him.

He couldn’t do that. No. They hated each other, why would he want to go and comfort Phil? Dan imagined Phil all alone, crying into a pillow while remembering his dog and his heart ached. He didn’t want to imagine the pain he was having right now.

‘’Okay, I will.’’ Dan answered. ‘’Bye PJ, talk to you next week’’

‘’Bye Dan, and please, don’t leave him alone, he needs someone.’’ And with that PJ hung up.

After he left the coffee room he searched for Phil, trying to apologize for what he had said but he couldn’t find him. He figured their boss had sent him home since he was in no state to work in.

It was gonna be a difficult morning at the office today.

__________________

Phil was on his way to Primrose Hill. He picked up Brownie (he still refused to say he was dead) from his vet, wrapped him up on a sheet and put him in the backseat of his car and started to drive while tears poured down his cheeks.

It had started to rain heavily a few hours ago and he hadn’t even thought about bringing an umbrella. ‘Well, that way the rain would mask my tears’ he thought bitterly.

He parked his car, took out a shovel and began making a grave. All his frustration making his way out. He was angrily making a hole on the grass, trying let all his hateful feelings out, angry fat tears now mixed with the rain.

Once he was done, he walked back to the car, carefully picked up Brownie and he lowered down on his knees. Phil, gently lifted out the sheet, just to see Brownie’s face one last time. He showed a small smile and lowered the sheet down, while gently resting his now lifeless body on the grave. ‘’Rest well, my friend. You were the best companion a man could have ever asked for. Thank you for giving me the best years of my life. I will always remember you, Brownie. Hope you don’t forget about me. ’’ Phil whispered into the air, letting out a breath before picking up the now wet grass to cover Brownie’s grave.

Once he had finished he started crying again, he was even having trouble to breathe right now. He just wanted to his suffering to end. Why the only thing he loved left him? He was lonely again. He had always been lonely and he will ever be.

Suddenly, he didn’t feel the rain on his body anymore. He lifted his head to see if it had stopped raining but he met an umbrella instead. He rapidly turned around, and he was met with the only thing he didn’t know he wanted.

‘’Dan…’’ he let out through his tears.

‘’Phil… I’m…’’ but before he could say anything more Phil launched himself into his arms. Heavily crying into his shoulder. Dan, a bit startled, realized what was happening and put his free arm securely around Phil, so that his hand was holding Phil’s head, mindlessly caressing his black hair trying to comfort him.

Once he noted Phil had calmed down, Dan took his hand and started walking back to Phil’s car. ‘’C’mon, I will bring you home’’.

__________________

They were now sitting inside Phil’s car, he quietly muttered his address to Dan, not even bothering to pick up a fight about driving because he honestly knew he couldn’t drive in that state. Dan, looked up at Phil one more time, noticing how his then blue eyes had paled, had lost his shining. It was like life had been drowned out of them. He didn’t want to see Phil like that, it really made his heart ache.

The drive lasted about 20 minutes, due to the hard rain that was still falling. They arrived to the destination and before going out Phil looked at Dan ‘’How are you getting home? I am not letting you go back to your house with this weather’’ he said in a raspy voice.

Apparently, Phil’s only concern was how Dan was getting home. He really didn’t want him to go out on this rain, and even thought they were ‘’enemies’’ he couldn’t be bothered by that anymore. He didn’t want to hate or be hated by anyone. He had been hated all his life. Right now, he just wanted a bit of love, even though he knew Dan couldn’t give it to him.

‘’I will call a taxi, don’t worry about me.’’ Dan replied. He didn’t really want to go home right now and leave Phil like that. He really wanted to stay with him right now, keeping him company at least, but if Phil didn’t want that he wouldn’t pressure him. ‘’I’m sorry for your loss Phil. I am.’’ Dan said before grabbing the door handle and opening it when…

‘’WAIT’’ Phil shouted, ‘’would you maybe want to stay? It is really late and in this weather there won’t probably be many taxis available. I have a spare room and clothes so please stay.’’ Phil practically begged. He really didn’t want to be alone right now, and if Dan was the only company he would be getting that be it. He was tired of their game, to be honest.

‘’Yeah, if you want me to’’ Dan said, trying not to show the relief he had felt when Phil had asked him to stay. ‘’C’mon, I will make you hot chocolate’’ he said, opening the door again and grabbing the umbrella to cover them both.

__________________

They had entered Phil’s flat and what Dan noticed was that it was dull. It wasn’t full of anyone’s quirky things like a strange figurines or even nice furniture. It was all the same colour except for one colourful point, a picture in the lounge shelves. Phil had told Dan to leave his coat and shoes at the door while he searched for comfy clothes they could wear, so he silently wandered off to that colourful spot.

It was a picture of Phil and his dog. They both looked young. He was hugging the dog while this was liking his face and Phil had a genuine smile, one he hadn’t seen before. It was a beautiful smile and he instantly regretted being mean to Phil all those years ago when he could have enjoyed that smile instead of angry looks.

‘’PJ took this picture of us,’’ Phil said when he entered the room, startling Dan ‘’two weeks after I rescued Brownie at shelter. We went to Primrose Hill for the first time and he was just such a happy dog, what’s why I wanted to bury him there, so he could return to the place where he really was happy’’ he ended with a sad smile.

Dan, touched by Phil’s story, wanted to say something meaningful, to reassure Phil that his dog had been happy just because he had lived next to Phil, but apparently his head had other plans. ‘’Oh, Brownie was his name? That’s such a cute name. I can see why you named him that.’’ Dan wanted to punch himself in the face. REALLY DAN?

‘’Yeah,’’ Phil let out a little laugh, the first in a few days, ’’when I saw his hair colour it reminded me of my favourite dessert and…’’ he cut himself mid-sentence, feeling like Dan didn’t want to hear more about this, he would only make a fool of himself if he continued, ‘’yeah it’s stupid I know’’. Feeling nervous, Phil coughed a bit and handed Dan the comfy clothes he had brought.

‘’Here, you can change in the bathroom I will go and bring some blankets’’ and with that Phil flew out of the door.

Dan sighed, really hating himself from two years ago for making Phil insecure he couldn’t even share the story of his dog with him, thinking Dan would really laugh at him. And with that though he walked into the bathroom.

__________________

Dan got out of the bathroom comfortably clothed now. He was now searching for Phil so he could at least apologize for everything. He walked down the hall and he noticed that Phil was pacing in his bedroom, talking to someone on the phone while he had teary yes.

He didn’t really want to eavesdrop but he heard Phil sniffle, trying to hold the tears. ‘’Mum, can you talk now?’’

‘’Brownie died and I…’’ he could see Phil muttering, biting his inner cheek.

‘’Brownie is, was my dog. He has been with me for years and now…’’ Phil explained. Apparently his parents didn’t even know he had had a dog for years? What parent didn’t know about his son’s life?

‘’I know that a dog is not a person but I knew Brownie liked to be with me. No one has loved me and no one will but still mum, he was my companion’’ he said, his voice cracking. Phil though no one loved him. Oh god, all the hate he had expressed to him was making Phil feel worse. He didn’t really hate Phil, he had just been jealous and now… He was a monster. He needed to apologize and reassure him that he would find someone who loved him, he deserved to be loved.

‘’I was just letting you know, I didn’t want to bother you and dad don’t worry’’ he exhaled tiredly. Like having repeated this same sentence many times before.

Dan was too deep in thought when he noticed Phil had fully opened the door and had discovered that than was listening ‘’Oh, hey Dan’’ he said nervously, like trying to pretend everything was fine when it wasn’t. He was on the verge of tears now and wanted nothing more than to bury himself inside the covers of his bed and cry.

‘’Phil,’’ Dan whispered, taking his hand again and re-entering the bedroom sitting him on the edge of the bed and he sat down next to him, taking his hand ‘’Phil look at me’’ he said softly.

‘’Phil, I am extremely sorry that I started to hate you those years back. I never really hated you. I was just jealous because you had just arrived and had already been complimented for your job more than mine and you were so nice, and still are, and then you approached me and I didn’t know how to act because in that moment I was just so driven by jealously that from that moment everything you did irritated me’’ Dan explained, sincerity in his face. Phil could clearly see Dan regretted all that had been said between them. He really wanted to fix things.

He took a breath and continued ‘’I’m sorry for my behaviour earlier today, that was out of line. I’m sorry for making you believe that I extremely hated you, when clearly I can’t hate you. And for the most, I am sorry for making you believe that no one could ever love you.’’ Both had tears in his eyes too. Phil wanted to speak up, explain that he didn’t really hated him either, that he was sorry he was mean to him all the time. ‘’Phil, you deserve to be loved, so please, even if you don’t ever forgive me, please believe me; because you more than anyone deserves love.’’

The both of them were crying and Phil, being the most emotional of the two threw himself into Dan’s arms, making them both fall into the bed, he on top of Dan. Now letting his tears wet the side of Dan’s neck.

They cried for a long time and Phil, without lifting his head from the crook of  Dan’s neck whispered an almost silent ‘’I forgive you’’ before falling asleep on top of the boy he didn’t hate anymore.

__________________

Dan, wiping the tears from his eyes fixed his eyes on Phil, who was now sleeping. He noticed he was tense, probably because of the hard day he had had. After all, no one can handle the stress of your dog dying, your potential enemy hating you and also not receiving any closure from your parents either and expect you to be relaxed.

He moved Phil like he could, resting his head onto the pillows and pulling him under the duvet, trying to make Phil as comfortable as possible. He didn’t want to disturb his sleep, he needed to rest.

Dan checked the time and noticed it was almost 11pm, and they were expected to work tomorrow. He sent a message to his boss, telling him that Phil was still feeling ‘under the weather’ and wouldn’t be going to work tomorrow.

With that last thing, he wandered into Phil’s spare bedroom and also dived under the duvet, thinking about what had happened. At least Phil had forgiven him but he still felt the need to do something more for him.

That’s right! He would show him how it is to be loved. Or at least making him feel loved. Yeah, he would do that. And his plan was starting tomorrow.

__________________

Dan woke up to his horrible alarm tone at 7 o’clock. He woke up more energized that usual, remembering what he had planned to do.

He wandered off his room and slightly opened Phil’s bedroom door, and what he saw made Dan almost cry again. Apparently Phil had woken up during the night picked up a worn out blanket that looked like it had been used by Brownie and was clutching it into his chest. He noticed he had tear streaks down his cheeks again and Dan blamed himself for not hearing Phil cry during the night so he could comfort him.

He closed the door again and walked off to the kitchen, where he promised he would make Phil the best breakfast he would ever taste. He took a look at Phil’s fridge and started thinking what to make. Pancakes! Everyone loves pancakes!

Once he had finished his pancakes he picked up a tray, and a small vase that he had spotted near the kitchen window. Realising he didn’t have a flower, he created one with a napkin. All those paper-folding tutorials he had watched when he was 14 and wanted to impress his crushes were worth it.

With a paper rose and the pancakes in the tray, he grabbed the bottle of syrup along with a glass of water. He picked up a pen and paper from a notebook that was on the table and began writing.

‘Good morning Phil,

By the time you read this I will already have gone to work. Don’t worry, you don’t have to come, I spoke to our boss yesterday and she said it was okay.

As you can see I made you pancakes in form of apology for everything again. I know you have forgiven me, but still, I’m feeling guilty so accept this as part of my apology. (Hope they are good, I don’t know if I’m a really good cook, judge yourself!)

Also, I still think we need to talk and I still think you don’t want to be alone so call me or text me if you need anything. And by anything I mean ANYTHING at all Phil. Even if it is just a hug.

I will come back later to see how you are doing, okay?

See you later,

Dan :)

He tore the paper and put it on the tray that he then picked up and carefully set it on top of Phil’s nightstand. He looked back one more time before leaving the bedroom and changing into his work clothes and leaving out for work.

__________________

Phil woke up at midday, disorientated and with a slight headache from crying so much yesterday. He looked at his nightstand, so he could check the time. He probably was late to work anyways. But instead of a clock he found a tray with a plate full of pancakes, a paper folded rose and a note.

He carefully touched the rose, feeling the napkin texture on his fingerprints. It really was beautiful.

He took the note and started reading. The fact that Dan had managed to do all of that for him was already too much. He felt like he was being taken care of, and Phil liked it. Then he realised that Dan probably did this as a one time thing, but he would enjoy it while it lasted.

Apparently Dan said in the note that he was coming back later, that had to mean something right? Also he wanted to talk? That part he didn’t like that much. Well, he wanted to tell Dan that he didn’t hated him either, so it could be a good thing that he was coming back later.

He decided to send him a text, ‘thank you. And not just for the pancakes x P’

Dan responded immediately ‘always. And I will always make you pancakes x D’

For now, he would enjoy his breakfast.

__________________

He was distracting himself on Tumblr when he heard the doorbell rang. That must be Dan. He practically ran to his door and straightened his sweatshirt before opening the door.

‘’Dan’’ Phil said, a small smile on his face. He really did come back.

‘’Hey’’ Dan said, making his way into Phil’s apartment. ‘’So, did you enjoy the pancakes?’’

‘’Yes, they were so good. I have never eaten homemade pancakes before so that was new. Thank you.’’ Phil explained, even though being born in a British household he had not eaten homemade pancakes once in his life, due to his parents having practically neglected him.

‘’So… I brought you something.’’ Dan said, his cheeks tinted red. He was kind of embarrassed he had actually stopped to buy this on his way but he couldn’t resist himself.

Suddenly Dan took out a sunflower from behind his back, handing it to Phil. ‘’I made you a paper flower this morning, but I thought at least you deserved a real one so here. ’’

Phil, touched by Dan’s gesture, he hugged him, taking Dan by surprise and murmured a chocked out ‘’thank you’’ before letting a few tears roll down his cheeks. Trying Dan not to notice he was crying again for whoever knows what time in the last few hours, he rapidly flew out of the door into the kitchen, putting the sunflower in the same vase where Dan’s rose was.  

He was really starting to like this Dan.

__________________

Now they were both sitting on the sofa and it was Phil who spoke out first. ‘’Dan I want to tell you something.’’

‘’Yeah, what’s wrong Phil?’’ Dan moved his body so he could face Phil.

‘’I really didn’t hate you either. I actually wanted to get to get to know you and when you seemed so cold to me that first day I knew we weren’t gonna be friends but I was actually expecting to have a professional relationship. So yeah…’’ Phil confessed.

Dan, surprised by Phil’s confession felt like shit all over again. Phil had wanted to be friends with him and he at least was expecting a professional relationship but apparently Dan wasn’t even able to handle that.

He put his arms over his eyes and let out a frustrated groan. Phil, seeing the distress Dan was in, tried to reassure him ‘’Hey Dan, it’s okay, now we have talked it out and I’m not mad at you. Stop taking all the blame. It’s is not your fault, okay?’’

‘’Yes it is Phil, I made you think you couldn’t be loved because I hated you. It’s is my fault!’’ Dan said, who was now pacing around the lounge torturing himself for this.

‘’Dan, I don’t hate myself because of you. I hate myself because my parents neglected me as a child. I wasn’t a wanted child so I was never going to be a loved one either way. They provided me all the material things, but not affection’’ Phil began to explain, making Dan stop pacing around and now sitting down next to him.

He took a breath and continued ‘’I have always felt lonely, even though I had friends and when I got to uni I actually had a relationship but it wasn’t real love. And I knew that, because even though I had never been loved, I didn’t feel different. And love is supposed to make you feel different, right?’’

‘’The only time I felt different was when I was with Brownie. He didn’t fail to make me smile and even though he wasn’t a person he made this flat less lonely. Made my life less lonely I guess. But now that he is gone…’’ He choked up at the last sentence.

Dan, after having listened to Phil’s explanation the only thing he could do was to wrap him into a tight hug, letting Phil cry for Brownie and for whatever feeling that was running in his veins right now.

__________________

Phil offered to make dinner for him and Dan, but this one insisted on helping him, so they could both use a distraction. Dan didn’t want to leave yet and he wanted to listen a few of Phil’s memories with Brownie. They were both in the kitchen, Dan helping Phil chop some vegetables when the radio that was softly playing tuned in an Ed Sheeran song.

‘’Oh, I love this song, c’mon Phil, let’s dance’’ he didn’t gave him time to prepare when he grabbed his hand, making him spun himself on his feet and then putting his arms around his waist while Phil put his around Dan’s neck.

‘’Dan, I don’t know how to dance’’ he shyly confessed, making his cheeks go red since he hadn’t danced this close to someone ever.

‘’I will show you’’ Dan whispered, bringing Phil closer to his body, so now they were practically swaying around. Phil wanted nothing more than to stay here, in this moment, forever.

‘’And I’m thinking ‘bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways, maybe just the touch of a hand…’’

Dan was sure the lyrics where speaking to him right now. He really wanted to show Phil what real love was, and maybe, without noticing, he was starting to fall in love with Phil. Maybe a little bit.

‘’Maybe we found love right where we are…’’

Phil had his eyes closed, letting the lyrics speak to him. Yeah, he might have finally found love here, in Dan’s arms, that’s where he really felt different. He felt safe in there. And love is supposed to give you safety.

As the song was ending, the both were unsure of what to do next. Just as the last seconds of melody where fading, Phil decided he didn’t want Dan to ever leave him. After dealing with the loss of Brownie he didn’t want to lose the only other thing he had managed to make him feel different, make him feel loved. With that thought in mind, he grabbed Dan’s cheeks and made his lips touch his, both of them melting into the kiss. It escalated quickly, tongues and grabby hands making the way through shirts and hairs.

They parted ways, just a few millimetres, just to be able to catch enough breath so that Phil could whisper a soft ‘’Stay’’

‘’Always’’ was Dan’s last promise before kissing him again.  

Future Diary - phanfic.

Future Diary.

-hello guys- this is howell-lester-phanfics writing again, though I got a bit obessed with AOT so im now called Ackerphan ^_^

I should have added this! this is based on one of my favourite anime’s ‘Future Diary’ or Mirai Nikki’ :) watch it - oh man, watch it :D 

Summary:  Phil Lester is an outcast, a ghost, nothing fuckin’ special. That is until one day a boy helps him with a survey he’s stuck on. One question stands out and Phil can’t seem to answer it;

What have you always wanted to do? A question the boy can answer. But how does this lead to the promise of marriage when they grow older and to see  the stars?

Then Phil’s life is turned upside down when his phone starts telling him the future, and the boy in his class? He has Phil’s future literally in the palm of his hands. Oh, and he’s not incredibly mentally stable.

in other words: its the ‘Dan is a psycho-stalker and is obsessed with Phil’ fic you've all been waiting for

Words: 4k 

Genre: mixed 


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We Are Not in Love

There’s something very protective about rain. Rain showers are the best because they provide a blanket between you and everything else, shielding you from all the distractions in the world. At night, it was even better. Hardly anyone would desire to step out into rainstorms. It wasn’t that you particularly disliked the sight or company of people, but you could appreciate nights like these where you were allowed to sit at the balcony of your apartment and simply enjoy the solitude. You could think or not think leaning against the wooden railing overlooking the empty street. With the sound created from the millions of droplets crashing onto the pavement, not even the wailing sirens in the distant could bring you out from your mind. The glowing streetlights that illuminate the white streaks of rain were kind of beautiful,too. They were easy to follow. Simple. Maybe that’s why you liked it so much.

Your thoughts lead to him. Naturally, like the downstream flow of the of water into the drains on the street. From your first time, to your most private memory of watching him sleep in through the early morning. Your fingertips tingled. Maybe it was from the sudden chill or it maybe from the physiological need to touch him.

Your relationship with him had ended for months now. That life that you lead with him seemed so long ago. You couldn’t bear to throw out some of the things he left behind at your apartment, like the stained coffee mug he used every morning or the old bath towel that hung on a hook on the back of your bathroom door. Moving the items seemed to make the apartment emptier and it looked wrong when you tried so you had left things the way they were, never bothering thereafter to rid those mundane things despite noticing them everyday and reminding yourself who they had previously belonged to every single day.

I mean, you weren’t particularly sad about it all anymore. Life had gone on just the way it had before, there wasn’t any time to be sad. But you still wondered. On nights like these, you wondered about him, about what you both were.

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Amusement Park Tales

Found on otpprompts​:

Prompt:

Imagine person A has never been on a roller coaster before and their friend(s) dare them to go on a pretty scary one alone. They quickly get uncomfortable and unintentionally grab the person next to them, person B, for comfort at the first big drop. Person B is surprised at first but let person A cling to them. By the end of the ride person A is close to a panic attack and person B helps them get off the ride and calm down (getting them water and telling them all kind of silly stories to distract them). When person A feels better they apologize for causing trouble, but person B brushes it off and asks if person A wants to go do some other attraction with them, person A agrees on the condition they stay far FAR away from the more extreme attractions.

Bonus: person A is very good at the shooting games and wins a very big stuffed duck for person B.

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Everlark, Mellark Men (Gilmore Girls AU)

eliapolis challenged me with the drabble prompt “Everlark in your favorite book/tv show/movie”. I had a million ideas for this one, but in celebration of Gilmore Girls coming on Netflix, this is the one I chose to go with.

And once I decided to gender-bend it and make Peeta the Lorelai of the story, I could not stop writing! I took some of my favorite scenes from the show and tweaked them a little. So this spans over 2 years.

Warning: Lots of banter and coffee ahead 

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jemsfitz  asked:

What are some headcanons you have for the AOS characters?

Oh goodness, we could be here for hours! I have so many. I guess some of my main ones:

- Charades on the Bus were outlawed because FitzSimmons won every. single. time.

- May cut Jemma’s and Skye’s hair.

- Fitz made some special weapons so that all the specialists could play laser tag as practice.

- Coulson has Captain America PJs.

- Trip is everyone’s bff - he geeks out with Coulson over Howling Commandos stuff, he was Skye and Jemma’s shoulder to cry on after Ward’s betrayal and Fitz’s coma. He’s super perceptive and catches on, and supports everyone in the best way.

- Natasha Romanoff has tried to talk to May about her experience in Bahrain to try and help.

Ok, these are really lame and I promise I actually have good ones, I am just starting to fall asleep…