aries: get to tHE FUKCIN POINT OBH MY GOD WHY DOES EVERYONE TAKE 10000 YEARS TO SAY SOMETHING THAT SHOULD ONLY TAKE 10 SECONDS
taurus: should I have leftovers tonight or order takeout… Thai and vietnamese are healthy but, pizza sounds pretty good too… maybe a bottle of wine…are you still talking to me… I’ll just pretend I need to go to the bathroom. ..
gemini: *talks continuously without giving the other person time to reply, basically says whatever pops into their head, doesn’t care if the other person is interested*
cancer: I give and I give, listen and listen, I am so nice and caring, when are they going to ask about me? I am literally the most kind, gentle, pure, underappreciated person in the universe *wipes tear*
leo: *checks out self on any and every reflective surface* nice. Wait, did you just ask me a question? Finally, I get to talk about (myself) something interesting.
virgo: *sweats nervously and/or judges the other person ruthlessly* It’s either ‘wow, what an idiot,’ or ‘I hope I didn’t sound like an idiot’
libra: pretends to listen politely while resisting the urge to stick a pencil in their own eye to escape from the sheer bordom/stupidity, out loud: “wow, that’s so interesting” *eye twitch*
scorpio: fukc, this is boring why is everyone so boring what’s the point of small talk yes suzan it’s hot outside it is the middle of the fucking summer tfti now would you do the world a favor and go play in traffic
sagittarius: *laughs* “that’s hilarious” inside: I hope a horde of wildabeast tramples this fucking fool so that no one has to listen to them talk ever agin fuck *laughs some more*
capricorn: how does this apply to me? Wait, it doesn’t. What a waste of time.
aquarius: disagrees even though they don’t actually disagree and then argues just to prove how smart (they think) they are
pisces: literally having the most awesome narcissistic daydream ever, doesn’t even pretend to pay attention
[technically a shitpost but check mercury/third house]
I want to dedicate this fic to @nerdyadventures , who also beta this fic. You were with me for almost the beginning of the story and there is no way this would be the story it is today without your support, I don’t have words to tell you how thankful I am for you and I’m sorry this story haunted you even in your dreams. For @ltrumbley , @bananannabeth@keekal and @artemisrae too, you guys helped me so much even if you didn’t realize it. Y por ultimo para @vithcytries eres una campeona y te agradezco tanto por cuidar mi espalda.
For the PJO/HOO Big Bang 2017.
‘I’m pathetic’ Annabeth thought while she clicked on the next picture, ‘very, very pathetic.’ It was a Saturday night, her roommates were out in some club having the time of their lives and what was she doing? Sitting on her bed stalking her crush on Instagram. To make things worse her crush was also her best friend for over ten years, her brain yelled at her to leave her phone but she clicked on another picture, it was of her and Percy on Montauk, his arm was around her waist and she was wearing his snapback, they both were grinning at each other and they looked so…couply. Her heart squeezed in pain. She looked at the date and tried not to groan, the picture had been posted 145 weeks ago. When did she go so deep into his page? Well, being fair, he didn’t post that often and most of the time it was random pictures and barely pictures of him unless he was with his friends (her heart did a whole routine when she realized he had more pictures with her than with anyone else)
Annabeth threw the phone on her bed. She should have gone out with Piper and Hazel but she wasn’t really feeling it, she wasn’t feeling like doing anything. Work had been brutal that week, her bosses had overworked her, leaving Annabeth laying on her bed wondering if it was worth it walking to the kitchen for a glass of wine or going back to stalk Percy’s pictures? She was sure he had a few of shirtless ones…The sound of the doorbell made her jump, she wasn’t expecting anyone and Piper and Hazel had their own keys. She did a quick check of her clothes, an oversized gray sweater, and some old constellation pj’s pants, she looked as presentable as she could be.
With one last groan, she left the room, putting her hair up in a bun. “Who is it?”
“The love of your life.” Annabeth recognized the voice, a smile forming on her lips.
“Is it you pizza? Have you finally come to elope with me?” A familiar laughter came from the door just as Annabeth was reaching to open it, revealing the man whose pictures she was obsessing over a few minutes ago.
“Unfortunately it’s Chinese not pizza,” Percy said with a smile that melted her, he looked good, too good for someone who just came out of work and was stuck on a long train ride to Brooklyn, it should be illegal to look effortlessly good. “But I hope you can still take me.”
Annabeth sighed dramatically. “I guess I can make an exception for tonight,” She took the bags from his hands and walked back inside, Percy following her. “And what do I have the honor of your lovely visit tonight?”
“I missed my best friend, isn’t that enough of a reason to come here unannounced?” He walked to the kitchen and started pulling plates from the cabinets. “Piper and Hazel aren’t home?”
[8-panel comic of two stick-figure girls talking together. One is eating a sandwich and says, “Oh, this is so good! You should really try it!” The other replies, “Um, I can’t–the whole gluten thing, remember?” The first girl says, “Come on, it can’t be that bad!” The other girl angrily swipes the sandwich from her hands then smacks a piece of bread on either side of the first girl’s face. In true meme fashion, she asks, “What are you?” The first girl replies, “An idiot sandwich.”]
Aries: get to tHE FUKCIN POINT OBH MY GOD WHY DOES EVERYONE TAKE 10000 YEARS TO SAY SOMETHING THAT SHOULD ONLY TAKE 10 SECONDS
Taurus: should I have leftovers tonight or order takeout… Thai and vietnamese are healthy but, pizza sounds pretty good too… maybe a bottle of wine…are you still talking to me… I’ll just pretend I need to go to the bathroom. ..
Anon request: Hi could I get a Grayson imagine? This may be very unoriginal, but could I get one where the reader and Grayson are very close as best friends, and they’re just hanging out or something, but throughout the story their friendship turn into something more?😁 I love your imagines by the way!
It was one in the morning when Grayson texted you. Luckily for him, you never slept either, which meant you were awake too. Unluckily for you, you were wearing pj shorts, a tank top, and socks with pizzas all over them, so you were not really looking too good. Grayson had asked you come over with no context provided, and you being you, accepted the request. And now you were waiting outside his house, still wearing your pj’s, and shivering from the cold.
“Hey,” the door swung open, warm light pouring through the cracks and Illuminating Grayson’s face. “Oh-wow-sorry-come in,” he stumbled, looking you over and stepping aside.
“T-thanks,” you stuttered and stepped in gratefully, skipping through the living room and plopping down in front of the cushy couch. A glowing fire had been lit, so you stretched your legs out across the soft carpet and extended your hands towards the flames.
“Here,” Gray plopped down beside you, pulling off his hoodie and offering it to you. He wore a plain black tee underneath, matched with navy sweats.
You took the grey hoodie and pulled it over your head, but it was so huge on you, you felt like you’d been stuffed into a potato sack. A potato sack which happened to smell really damn good.
“Cute socks,” Grayson said, stretching his legs out and knocking his foot playfully against yours.
“Thanks,” you said with a little smile.
“Sorry for asking you here so lat-early,” Grayson chuckled softly.
“Well you promised me cookies, so…” you giggled.
Grayson rolled his eyes with a laugh and reached back before pulling out a plate covered in gooey chocolate chip cookies.
“Wait, really?!” you gasped.
“You thought I was lying?”
“Well, I would’ve come either way!”
“Really?” Grayson said, his full lips twitching upwards.
“Sure,” you shrugged, “that’s what friends are for.”
Grayson’s smile faltered slightly, but he regained his composition quickly, “Yeah.”
“Do you have mi-” you began.
“Yeah yeah, I’ve learnt by now that you only like cookies with milk,” Grayson sighed, handing you a mug.
You gave him a big smile before grabbing the cup, and saying sarcastically, “You know me sooo well.”
And with that you dunked your cookie and shoved it in your mouth in a most unattractive way.
Grayson raised an eyebrow, trying to refrain from snorting with laughter.
“A lady,” you began, through a mouthful of cookie, “always has grace and poise,” you took a swig of milk, “and beauty,” you swallowed, a bit of milk dribbling out your mouth.
Grayson burst out laughing, his face going red as he bent over his knees through fits of giggles that you mimicked.
“Hey hey hey,” you laughed, “judge all you want, but I will eat all these cookies if you do not.”
Grayson recovered and sat back up, extending his hand for a cookie, “Kay.”
“Open your mouth,” you said, taking a cookie.
“Just do it.”
“Well what if I don’t want t-”
“Can you please just-”
“I don’t feel like i-”
Halfway through his sentence you shoved a cookie into Grayson’s open mouth to shut him up.
He snickered and ate it, his eyes going dark, an eyebrow raised in challenge.
“You think you’re funny?” he smiled mischievously.
“Yeah, actually, I do,” you said nervously, sensing a threat.
Grayson pounced on you with no warning, his hands coming down to your waist, where he began to ruthlessly tickle you. You squirmed beneath him, having absolutely no chance of breaking his strong grip on you. He flashed a grin as you begged for mercy, your eyes watering as you kicked the ground, your hands flying ou-
Your hand hit something, which then rolled across the carpet.
“Oh shit,” you sat up, Grayson releasing you to see what happened.
A trail of milk spilt over the carpet, the mug rolling off the carpet and onto the dark wooden floors.
“I’m…so sorry…” you said in shock.
“It’s fi-” Gray started.
You jumped up from the carpet and picked up the mug from the floor, heading to the kitchen and returning with a wet towel which you used to begin scrubbing out any traces of a stain.
“(Y/N)-” Grayson tried.
“I didn’t mean to,” you said, scrubbing with more force.
“(Y/N),” Grayson said, his voice coming close, his hand on your shoulder.
You sunk down in defeat, turning to face him and crossing your legs, your head hanging.
“Honestly, don’t worry about it,” he smiled softly, his eyes trying to coax yours up.
You sighed, opening your mouth to speak, but he cut you off.
“Hey,” he murmured, two of his fingers crawling under your chin and lifting your face up, “that’s what friends are for.”
You couldn’t help but smile a little bit at this.
“I’m so lucky to be able to say that you, Grayson Dolan, are my best friend,” you grinned.
He nodded quite solemnly, his arms wrapping around you as he pulled you into his chest for a hug. You rested your head in the crook of his neck, Grayson’s hand coming up to hold the back of your head gently, his fingers caressing you, his breath light as it fell over your skin. Your eyes fluttered closed as you sighed with content into his sun kissed skin.
“Oh yeah,” you remembered, “why did you invite me here, anyway?”
Grayson paused, “it was my fault for the mug, I was a bit rough,” he diverted the topic.
“Pfft,” you said, pulling out of the hug but staying close to Gray, “no it’s not, now answer the question.”
“What question? Grayson said, trying to act oblivious.
“Ha ha, how funny,” you mocked.
He shrugged, his eyes pulling away from yours, “I don’t know..I just wanted to see you.”
You snickered, “One in the morning, and you wanted to be with me?!”
“I always want to be with you,” he said simply, his eyes on the flickering orangey-red embers.
“That’s hilarious,” you cheesed.
“Is it so hard to believe?” he asked, turning his head back to yours, his voice serious.
“Um,” you said, your smile fading, your heartbeat suddenly sounding loud in your ears, “I-I don’t know.”
“Well why are you here?” Grayson asked, his curious hazel eyes searching yours.
“Because, I-,” you paused, “You asked me.”
“Yeah, I asked you, at one in the morning, and you said yes without a second’s hesitation,” he pondered aloud.
You gulped nervously, aware of your cheeks steadily flushing rose.
“W-I don’t know, I was just being a good-”
“Friend,” Grayson finished, his voice a low whisper.
His eyebrows furrowed as he looked you over in wonder.
“…Friend,” you nodded, taking in a deep breath, your eyes diverting away from his as you said it.
Grayson extended his hand, brushing his thumb lightly over your cheek.
“Look, Grayson, I-” you began.
“I know,” he sighed, dropping his hand in defeat.
“Do you?” you said, pushing a strand of hair from your eyes.
“I probably shouldn’t have fallen for my best friend,” he murmured sadly.
“Gray-” you began.
“Just,” he interrupted, “Don’t.”
You turned your eyes back to his intense gaze.
“I get it,” he blinked, moving to stand, “so I don’t need to hear you say it.”
“Jeez, one of these day’s, you’re going to learn to let me finish a sentence,” you said in exasperation, suddenly grabbing Grayson roughly by his collar and pulling his lips right down onto yours. There was a fleeting second of confusion when his lips crashed into yours, but from there it was a tangle of body parts and hungry kisses. Your hands tugged at the back of Gray’s hair, your breath coming short as you nibbled his bottom lip, not having a second to breathe before he drowned you with more affection, your lips molding together. Grayson nipped at you gently, one of his hands coming to cup your face, his skin warm and soft against yours. You kissed him deeply once more before pulling back, your eyes closed, your breath ragged.
There was a moment of silence where you caught your breath and prepared what to say.
“I thought we were ‘friends,’” Grayson mumbled, keeping his forehead to yours.
“Well, I’d say there’s no better person to fall in love with than a friend,” you smirked, your eyes fluttering open to meet his.
His eyes were crinkled sadly, his lips parted.
“I never thought you could love me,” he said, which physically pained you to hear.
You brushed your fingers lightly against Gray’s bottom lip, a smile tickling the corners of your mouth, “Well, I probably shouldn’t have fallen for my best friend,” you whispered.
Summary: You’re pregnant and Dean’s being super caring. Sadly, this also means he’s cooking healthy, nutritious food for you and the baby. All the healthy food, for months. Until you’ve had enough.
Word Count: 1100+
Munch. Munch. Munch.
You were stuffing your face with cookies, and ice cream, and pizza. Yes, all three of those. Yes, at the same time.
Sure, a few months ago you would have judged something like this as disgusting, super unhealthy, a great recipe for a heart disease… But, after countless weeks of kale, cabbage, spinach, carrots, lean meat, and lentils… you just didn’t care anymore. You wanted all the junk food, now.
The pregnancy book was staring at you from the table, and you stared back, glared even as your lips wrapped around a spoon of chocolate ice-cream. Take this, you stupid book.
Summary: Drunk Emma really likes pizza. She also really happens to like the cute delivery guy who seems content to carry out all of her wishes via the “Special Instructions” box on the website. (AO3) Rating: M (eventually) Word Count: ~1700
This has been burning a hole on my desktop for a couple months now and I just really felt like if I didn’t start posting it would probably never get finished… I’m a couple chapters in with the writing but I think this is going to end up being like between 10 and 15 chapters, all roughly the same length if I can pull it. We’ll see how that goes. Anyway, this was gonna just be like a cheesy smut fic originally but I apparently like to overthink things and it became slightly cuter of an idea…
@stubble-sandwich THANKS FOR LETTING ME GUSH ABOUT THIS STUPID IDEA WITH YOU. Look at me, finally posting the fuckin pizza guy au… christ…
Special instructions:pls make smiley face with pepperoni, i could use something happy right now
She’d typically have left the box blank but Emma was currently full of self-pity and a little too drunk to really care how she appeared to the rest of the world.
Two years she’d spent with Walsh. Two years of warm embraces and whispered I love you’s and sweet kisses and integrating him into her close-knit group of friends despite some heavy resistance – especially from David; she reminded herself to give her brother a hug later for trying – and for what?
For him to just “reconnect” with his ex at what was supposed to be their engagement party?
“I’m so sorry, Em. I never meant to hurt you like this. It just… happened. I can’t help how I feel.”
She scoffed in disgust. What an asshole. A total prick.
She finished off her fifth – sixth? – bottle of beer and popped open another. Maybe after another few she’d forget the sight of him with his tongue down that other woman’s throat. Maybe she’d forget the shock and guilt on his face when she’d dropped her glass of champagne at seeing them together, stunned to see her betrothed blatantly cheating on her by the bathrooms while their party guests mulled about in the main room, completely clueless.
The more Jared spent time with you and River, the worse things seemed to get between him and Genevieve. And the worse things got between them, the sadder and lonelier he looked, which had you inviting him over more to be around River. It was a vicious circle, but River could make him smile when everything else just seemed to weigh him down.
River had invited Jared and Jensen over for a Thursday night game night, since Jensen was heading to Texas next day. Pizza was ordered, Root beer for River, beer for the guys, and Jared had smiled and presented you with a bottle of wine. “Stop trying to butter me up.” You chuckled. “I won’t go easy on you.”
“What makes you think I need you to.” He grinned, as him and Jensen stepped in.
“Dude. Our son is turning 9 soon. Video games are where we live.” You smiled. “No matter what he chooses to play, I’ll kick your ass.”
“Bring it.” You hadn’t seen a smile like that on his face in a long time, and you didn’t miss how happy it made River to see it.
Plot: Killian is a single father, and his daughter is enrolled in Emma’s dance class. He has nobody to watch his daughter after class, and he’s often late, so Emma usually sits and talks to the girl until she is collected from the dance school.
Summary: Based on this prompt I found in the depths of tumblr; “I’m a single parent and my child takes your dance class and thanks so much for always staying after class to watch him/her when my boss is an ass and keeps me past my off hours and holy cow you’re pretty/handsome and really sweet/kind and wow I should be late more often so we can talk. Say how do you feel about private lessons? For my kid- yea, yea, for my kid”
The class had finished almost an hour ago, yet little Daisy Jones was still sitting in the locker room, with her teacher, Miss Emma. She was quite the adorable little thing; petite yet slender, with these enormous, crystalline blue eyes to rival a porcelain doll. From what Emma gathered about the girl in passing conversations, much like the one they were currently engaged in, was that she only had a father -her mother had passed when she was very young, she didn’t remember her all that much- and, she was an only child. Emma had since helped the girl pack away her belongings; shoes, spare tights, hair grips, and helped her to pull on her sweatpants and outdoor shoes, ready for her father to collect her.
“You know, he’s probably just late again.” Daisy shrugged, playing on her iPad as she glanced across to her teacher, who was curiously peering out of the window to the street below, looking for any plausible passing visage of the girl’s father.