Would like to thank Bagel Bites for singlehandedly fucking up my diet by putting an un even amount of pizza bagels in the tiny box. if I adhered to your serving size I would be left with one bastard pizza bagel and you forced my hand
Me: I’m gonna improve my health!! I’m gonna eat better and regulate my sleep schedule!
Also me: *continues with my self destructive habits, eats 24 pizza bagels in one sitting, fucks up my own sleep schedule for 10 days in a row, doesn’t change clothes for 13 consecutive days, generally doesn’t take care of myself*
Things b99 OWES me with regards to Domestic Jake & Amy:
Them getting ready in the morning- brushing their teeth, getting dressed, choosing what to wear and what shoes to wear
How they sleep?? How needy are they when cuddling? Is Jake the little spoon? Does Amy like being the little spoon too? If so- how do they decide who’s little spoon? Do they flip a coin? Rock Paper Scissors? Or they just switch every night? Do their cuddling positions change from when they first go to sleep to when they wake up in the morning?
How Jake brushes his teeth in two seconds
Who cooks breakfast? Do they do it together or is it a let’s go outside and buy pizza bagels type of situation? Have they tried cooking together? Did it turn out well or was it a disaster?
How the hell does anyone brush their teeth in TWO. SECONDS.
We’ve seen Amy’s apartment, but what does it look like now that Jake’s moved in? How does that prim and proper set of “Murder, She Wrote” look with touches and streaks of Jake flowing through the place? Is it messier now? Does Amy make Jake clean up after himself or does she love him so much she’s okay with a little bit of mess? Or does Jake love Amy so much he tries to clean up after himself because he knows she likes things clean?
Is it even humanely possible to brush one’s teeth in two seconds?
Them watching TV together- exactly how scary is Amy when they watch Jeopardy? How often do they watch Die Hard? And Die Hard 2? And Die Hard 3? Do they watch Harry Potter a lot now? What other shows and movies do they watch together? Do they snuggle? Is Jeopardy too intense for them to snuggle during? Is there popcorn?
Did Amy time how long Jake actually takes to brush his teeth or was two seconds a rough estimate??
Now that they live together, do they purposely get shifts that start and end at similar timings? Do they wait for each other to finish before going home together? Does Holt secretly let them take shifts that are at the same timings bc he’s a romantic? Who drives? Do they take turns? Do they let Charles tag along since he lives so close by?
OKAY BUT SERIOUSLY, WOULDN’T IT BE MORE TROUBLESOME TO BRUSH ONE’S TEETH IN TWO SECONDS AS OPPOSED TO THIRTY? I GET THAT AMY WAS EXAGGERATING BUT THE AMOUNT OF CONCENTRATION AND SPEED NEEDED TO BRUSH TEETH IN TWO SECONDS IS JUST CRAZY
where do they put Jake’s sneakers?? And does he still have his six basketballs?
Wacky chat room with the reader being an original Avenger and is dating
Tony, and best friends with Nat and Clint, and them three are having a
competition over who knows the reader the best (Tony against Nat &
Clint) and along the way the rest of the team some how join in (Tony
brings in his reinforcements) and it’s all hilarious because it’s the
Avengers what else would you expect? I love you so, so much, and keep
being awesome! ;D
(a/n: thank you, i love you more ;D <3)
Natasha has created a chatroom.
Natasha has invited Clint, Y/N, Tony.
Tony: Hello people who I, grudgingly, have to share my significant others love with.
You: What’s up, people that I love more than Tony?
Tony: … That’s warranted. Still hurts though.
Natasha: Clint has something to say, although it’s really stupid and I know Tony’s not guilty.
Tony: Yes, Barton? What do you think I did?
Clint: Y/N tell your boyfriend to stop eating MY food.
Tony: I’m right here.
Clint: Y/N, tell him.
Natasha: oh my god, are you really going to ignore Tony?
Clint: Yes, he ate all of my food!
Tony: I did not!
Clint: Donuts. Pizza. Bagels. Pasta. All gone!
Tony: You do realize we all live together and whatever you leave in the fridge now belongs to everyone else?
Clint: I LABELLED IT ALL WITH MY NAME. I even drew cute little flowers on the labels…
On a sad note, Shiro started working at the library because he wanted a more calm place to be after serving time in the army but still help the public
He was badly injured in a skirmish and lost his arm but he got a prosthetic
Some patrons are a bit weary when they see it but kids think it’s super rad and he likes to tell the kids that he’s a cyborg working here in secret and they absolutely love it
Whenever he hears a loud crash or someone yelling suddenly though he jolts immediately and has to try and recenter himself
Okay back to a happier note
Hunk is the one to typically bring in treats for the staff, like cookies or donuts or if they know they’ll all have a busy day, he’ll surprise them with a big breakfast buffet sort of thing
Coran does the closing announcements (“The library will be closing in 15 minutes…” ect..) and he’ll accidentally bump the wrong button sometimes and the phone’s hold music will start to play over the intercom instead and he spends an eternity trying to turn it off
What Pidge doesn’t wanna tell him is he just has to hang up (she like to watch the world burn, honestly)
Tony: I’m not afraid to be alone with my thoughts. My thoughts are awesome! Tony: … Tony: Die Hard 6 on a cruise ship, pizza bagel restaurant …my father never loved me and I’m gonna die alone… Oh boy, that happened fast.