pizza house what are you doing

Dinner at jlaws house
  • Jlaw: "and that's when I said 'WHERES THE PIZZA!?!?'"
  • Dinner guests: *forced laughter as they eat their dinner consisting of only bread*
  • Bradley cooper to me: "can I offer you some bread"
  • Me: "oh um....I don't eat bread"
  • Dinner guests: *complete silence*
  • jlaw with mouth full of bread: "wait....what do you mean you don't eat bread™"
  • Me: "oh um well I can't-"
  • Jlaw: *makes wacky faces* "FUCK YOU!! you ASSHOLE!!!" *crying*
  • Me: "uh well...sorry it's just that I-"
  • Jlaw crawling across the table towards me: "YOU WILL EAT THIS BREAD"
  • Me: "please no"
  • Bradley cooper: "please Jen it's fine...."
  • Jlaw: *ugly crying* "SHUT UP!!! S H U T U P"
  • Jlaw: *takes a fist full of bread and shoves it in my mouth*
  • Me: *muffled crying* "please I have celiac disease I can't eat gluten"
  • Jlaw: "DONT GIVE IN TO SOCIETIES LIES!! EAT THIS BREAD"
  • Dinner guests: *still watching in silent horror*
  • Amy schumer: *thin lipped Amy schumer smile*
  • Oscar committee: "holy f uck Jen...."
If I get ten “accents” I’ll record myself saying all this!

Tumblr Accent Challenge!

So I did the accent challenge last night, and decided I was going to make a new one, since the challenge I did (which you can find here,) is five years old. So here’s the one I made, have fun! 

Bonus: If you’re comfortable with it, do it as a video! 

  • What’s your name & username?
  • Where are you from?
  • What’s the time where you are?
  • Pronounce the following words: Meme, Pepe, Doge, Sudoku, Espresso, Celtic, Açaí, Dr. Seuss.
  • What’s your favourite pizza place? Favourite pizza topping?
  • What’s your favourite dessert?
  • What’s your favourite food? What food do you hate?
  • What’s your favourite TV show? Which show were you into, but then got out of?
  • What brand is your phone?
  • Do you speak a second language?
  • How do you define a group of people when you’re talking to them? Do you say ‘guys,’ or ‘dudes’ or?
  • What Harry Potter house do you most identify with? If sorted by Pottermore, did you agree with the one you got?
  • Is there something you should be doing right now but are procrastinating?
  • Now that you’ve talked about what you need to be doing, go do it! 
Barry Allen secretly having a crush on you would include...

Originally posted by itsacoffeeshop

(Not my gif)

  • Antisocial buddies
  • “I need friends”
  • “Same” ;
  • Adorable hugs ;
  • If you ever get insecure he’d be there and tell you that you are the most beautiful person on this earth
  • and every other earth he has visited
  • and that’s a lot of earths;
  • You secretly stealing his t-shirts and hoodies like:
  • “Y/N, is that my shirt?”
  • “What, no. I-I bought that last week”
  • “……It’s a double your size…..”
  • “SHUT UP” ;
  • Him bringing three boxes of donuts because he needs to eat double your meal
  • and maybe a pizza box
  • and fries ; 
  • He thinks you look adorable all the time;
  • Late night talks. ;
  • Watching old movies.
  • and mayyyybeee cuddle
  • Him acting as if that never happened because he blushes like mad when you mention it
  • Falling asleep with your head on his chest.
  • Him waking up first
  • always
  • reMARKING HOW GOOD YOU LOOK ;
  • “Can you give me my-”
  • him bringing it from the other end of the house in 0.00000001 sec.
  • he would do anything for you tbh ;
  • “Y/N!” 
  • “What?”
  • “I have something for you”
  • Him handing you a batarang
  • “HOW DID YOU GET THAT OH MY GOD!!!!”
  • “I just had to ask”
  • “Haha, you didn’t just say ‘Can i keep this?’ right?”
  • “….” ;
  • Him in fear of ruining your friendship because of his crush
  • So he hides it;
  • NEARLY SAYING ‘I LOVE YOU’ ONCE
  • YOU WERE BASICALLY DRESSED IN HIS HOODIE AND YOUR HAIR WAS MESSY. YOU JUST WOKE UP FROM 7 HOURS OF SLEEP
  • AND HE SAID ‘You are adorable”
  • BUT THEN HE NEARLY SAID IT
  • HE NEARLY SAID ‘I LOVE YOU’ ;
  • Raging at video games
  • “YOU ARE NOT WINING THIS! YOU ARE NOT WINING THIS! YOU.ARE.NOT.WINING.THIS! “
  • and then he wins
  • and you facepalm ;
  • PIGGY BACK RIDES ;
  • “Do you remember how i told you about my powers?”
  • “Oh, you mean the “OHMAGODOHMAGODOHMAGOD I’M SUPER FAST” thing. Yep, i remember.” ;
  • Barry telling Bruce and Diana about his crush on you
  • them trying to set you two up
  • “Hey Barry?” Diana says
  • “Yeah?”
  • “Why don’t you ask Y/N on a date”
  • You standing like 3-4 meters away
  • “W-what?” you say frozen
  • “…….DIANA WHY”
  • Barry Allen exposed
  • you say yes

REQUESTS ARE OPEN

My Understanding of Dream Daddy Stans

Mat Sella

  • yalls seem pretty chill tbh
  • excellent sense of aesthetic™ and the best fanart, like wtf guys why is all the art of him so pretty

Joseph Christiansen 

  • will defend Joseph to THEIR DYING BREATH
  • the best meme generators and edit masters of the fandom

Hugo Vega

  • just v wholesome
  • all of yalls headcanons with him and the other dads and his son are too cute get out of here

Craig Cahn

  • clueless and thirsty
  • have no idea what ddadds discourse is going on, worship bro jokes, cry over muscles

Damien Bloodmarch

  • basically this emoticon (◕◡◕✿) but will fight you
  • have designated shifts for the 24-7 protection squad for the pure, can do no wrong goth dad

Robert Small

  • a sniveling mess busy wrapping robert in a blanket burrito
  • the funniest, abs-inducing short comics (like whether it’s with pineapple pizza, dragging joseph, or cryptids, they’re all so fukign hilarious)

Brian Harding

  • perched on the tree outside your house shouting “WHERE IS THE BRIAN LOVE”
  • fanart snipers: you dont see brian art often but when you do IT’S SO CUTE 
TRC ask game
  • Gansey: Do you have a fav historical figure?
  • Blue: Favorite constellation?
  • Ronan: Favorite animal?
  • Adam: Your proudest achievement to date?
  • Noah: Do you believe in ghosts?
  • Henry: Do you prefer writing, speaking, or some other form of communication?
  • Orla: Do you paint your nails? What's your fav color?
  • Declan Lynch: What's your dream job?
  • Aurora Lynch: What do you look for in a romantic partner?
  • Niall Lynch: Do you have any recurring dreams?
  • Ashley: Do you have knowledge about any topics people wouldn't expect you to?
  • Neeve: Would you ever want to be famous?
  • Matthew Lynch: What's your favorite season?
  • Helen Gansey: Do you have any siblings?
  • Aglionby Academy: What's your favorite subject in school?
  • Mountain View: What's your attitude toward school?
  • Nino's Pizza: What's your fav pizza order?
  • Litchfield House: Do you prefer having lots of friends or only a small few?
  • 300 Fox Way: What's the most magical place you've ever been?
  • Monmouth Manufacturing: Is your room messy or neat? Do you make your bed regularly?
  • Cabeswater: What's your dream vacation destination?
  • Henrietta: Describe your hometown.
  • St. Agnes: When's the last time you saw your whole family?
  • The Barns: Describe a memory of yours from childhood.
  • The Grey Man: Describe your ideal date.
  • Maura Sargent: If you were lost somewhere, who would you want to find you?
  • Persephone Poldma: Have you had any important mentors or teachers?
  • Calla Johnson: What's your favorite thing to drink?
  • Mallory: Coffee or Tea?
  • Colin Greenmantle: What languages do you speak?
  • Piper Greenmantle: Chapstick, Lipstick, or Lipgloss?
  • Jesse Dittley: What's your favorite flower?
  • Whelk: What's your biggest regret?
  • Kavinsky: Are you easily distracted?
  • Opal Lynch: Describe your best friend.
  • The Pig: What's your dream car?
  • The BMW: Do you consider yourself a good driver?
  • White Mitsubishi: What's the most dangerous thing you've ever done?
  • The Hondayota: Do you have any goals you are working towards?
  • The Dream Pig: If you were going a road trip, what would be your top 3 must-see destinations?
  • Gwenllian: What's your fav song/album/artist to listen to right now?
  • Glendower: What time period in the past would you want to live in?
  • Chainsaw: Do you have any pets?
  • Boat shoes: What quirks do you have that make you unique?

stuffing your face as usual.I gotta HAVE a good mealGarfield. you fat cat. you are so big and fat.why are you so fatI eat, Jon. it’s what I do

it’s time to kick odie of the tabledont do it garfielf, that’s out pet dog odieyou’re going into orbit,  you stupid mutt THWCK G A AAA R RFIIELD

time for a nap. I’m a cat who loves to snooze g a r f i e l d  y o u  l a z y  c a t I hate alram clocks I’m am hungry I want some lasaga you’re eating us out of house and home, GARMFIELD  enough with The Chit Chat let’s get some grub goingGRUB

TIME…

where Are the 3-cheese pizzas

  • I ate those food

where Are the taco shells ?

  • I ate those food

where did all the hamburger helper go

  • *BRUP*

You’re such a bad kitty that’s it I’ve had it with you that does it I’m done that’s the last straw grarfileld

A Babysitting Love Affair | Zach Dempsey x Reader

Genre: Romance, Fluff
POV: Reader’s/First Person

A/N: This was requested by anon! I hope you guys will like this as much as my first one. I kind of ramble on but please bear with me lol.
Request: could i request a zach dempsey x reader where the reader is babysitting zach’s sister, and zach haven’t met the babysitter yet and one day he goes home early and falls in love with her?

—–

“I’ll be there tomorrow morning Mrs. Dempsey.”

“Alright love, thank you so much!”

I smile as I close the door after Zach’s mom who asked me to babysit Zach’s little sister, May. She mentioned that she will have to go to Chicago for the weekend to take care of something and I was assigned to be May’s companion overnight since her brother is an extremely busy guy. The Dempseys are a close family friend, too bad I’m not really that close with Zach or May. It’s probably because we go to different high schools and it doesn’t really help that I can be anti-social at times. I know nothing about them, and they know nothing about me in return so it’s all good.

—–

The next morning

“I’ll be leaving now or else I’ll miss my flight! Thank you so much again Y/N for babysitting. I’ll see you girls tomorrow morning alright? Feel at home love, my number’s on the fridge if you need me and I left money for any emergency. Zach won’t be here until dinner tonight. He has basketball practice.” Mrs. Dempsey says as she bids goodbye to Zach’s little sister and I.

“Got it Mrs. Dempsey! We’ll see you tomorrow.” I finally say with a smile.

“Bye mom! I’ll be good, I promise!” May puts her right thumb out to her mom and waves goodbye.

“So, what do you want to do today, May?” I ask her as we’re left alone inside the house.

“Hmm, I don’t really have anything in mind. Oh wait I know! Let’s style each other’s hair.” She suggests with a gleam in her eyes; she looked so excited.

“Sure kiddo.” I reply with a smile and we proceed to the living room to watch TV. May got all of her hair accessories from her room for us to use. She decided that it’d be fun to start with my hair first and put them in pigtails and so she did. She chose these pink puffy hair bands to tie my hair. May had long, black and shiny hair which reminded me of Katniss Everdeen so naturally, I chose to put her hair in a fish tail braid.

“Wow Y/N, you’re really good at this!” she beams after her make over.

“Why thank you, Miss Everdeen.” I reply with a bow and she giggles in response.

A couple of hours later and it was almost lunch time. May wanted to order pizza and so we did. She didn’t like vegetables so we opted for a classic cheese pizza instead. A few minutes later and the doorbell rang, I ran to the door to open it, with the money in my left hand.

“Thank you so–” I begin to greet the pizza man but a ginormous, muscular guy hovered above me instead.

Keep reading

club penguin bans sentence starters
  • "i'm a fucking piece of pizza,"
  • "holy shit toto, we sure as fuck ain't in kansas anymore,"
  • "i ain't fucking with these christmas lights anymore,"
  • "why is the only angry one black?"
  • "get in loser, we're going sledding,"
  • "jesus fucking christ, that cookie hot as shit,"
  • "ah yes, my meth lab is ready,"
  • "i need this life vest 'cos i'm drowning in the pussy,"
  • "i could kill you right now, no one would wear you scream,"
  • "i could go back and pretend to be you,"
  • "fashion police, you're definitely under arrest,"
  • "you're tearing this family apart, ___"
  • "what do you mean you're being murdered? that's illegal, people can't do that,"
  • "i'm wanted for stealing yo girl/boy,"
  • "wanna hear a joke? your future,"
  • "i would like to order all the money,"
  • "when i see stars i think of you. because you're only beautiful from a distance,"
  • "do it for the vine,"
  • "you dress like an idiot,"
  • "girl/boy, are you because i want to take you out,"
  • "hey you forgot something. your social life,"
  • "help me hide this body in here,"
  • "did you just propose, using emojis?"
  • "do drugs they said. it will be fun they said,"
  • "it's called capitalism,"
  • "thank you for helping me commit cannibalism,"
  • "shit, we on national television,"
  • "bitch, throw one more snowball at me,"
  • "can you leave my house please?"
  • "i'm sensing you're a bit of a bitch,"
  • "can i pay you in swag?"
  • "excuse me, do you know where i can find the booty?"
  • "what the flipper?"
  • "santa isn't real,"
  • "what do penguins do in a race? they peng-win,"
  • "a milkshake ain't a goddamn pizza,"
  • "locked up because my eyebrow game was too strong,"
  • "man, look at all this fuckin' dope,"
  • "fuck it, i ain't running,"
  • "hey, do you wanna join my gang?"
  • "i'll ask my mom,"
  • "smooth as butter,"
millennials gothic
  • Every night there is a scratching at your doorbut you haven’t had a cat since you lived with your parents. But this is your parent’s house. Where are your parents? The scratching continues.
  • The old ones do not understand technology. Good. Your elderly aunt manages to mute the static hum of her television to ask you what an emoji is. They won’t survive.
  • Your local pizza place has taken to delivering square pizzas. The owner says you get more pizza for your money that way. There are no toppings on your pizza. He says you get even more pizza that way.
  • You don’t own a car. Nobody owns a car. The streets are alive with the movement of thousands of human bodies, walking. Nobody has anywhere to go. A hand grabs your ankle but you keep walking. Everyone keeps walking.
  • Universities around the world have been closing. Nobody goes in or out. Your clothes smell of coffee and burning paper and you don’t know why. It doesn’t wash out. 
  • Your phone buzzes. It’s a group chat. You ignore it. Your phone keeps buzzing until it’s all you can hear a cacophony of hissing and vibrating and growling. You look at the screen and realise you don’t recognise any of the names on it. You try to pick your phone up but it’s so hot it burns your fingers and you drop it. The phone shatters. The fragments keep buzzing.
  • You work day and night. Day and night. They say you’re one of the lucky ones, to be working. You’ve never known anything but work. Managers come and go. You work day and night.
  • There are ATMs everywhere but you don’t know what any of them do. All the banks have closed, but sometimes you think you can hear screaming from your local branch. You take your money to the man on the corner by your apartment who keeps your cash in his mouth. When you need change you go to him and he spits coins at you.
  • You go to the library to do research and find all the shelves empty. You can’t find any librarians but you hear howling from the back of the library. There are no books here.
One Week (Connor Murphy x Reader)

TW: EVEN SMUTTIER THAN THE LAST ONE, swearing, a whole lot of innuendos

Words: 1,700 ish

Disclaimer: I may edit this a tiny bit more in the future. But enjoy, kiddos!


“Oh here they come,” Alanna groaned to the rest of your friends, spotting you and Connor walking towards the lunch table. 
“Wow, and a whole new gallery of hickeys to go along with it!” Jared nodded towards the faint purple bruises on Connor’s neck. 
“Ugh, seriously, can we stop talking about this? He’s my brother. The last thing I want to think about is him… doing it,” Zoe basically cringed at her last words. She folded up her half eaten sandwich, clearly having a loss of appetite.

You and Connor sat down, smiling. Your boyfriend slung his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his side.
“What were you guys talking about?” You asked curiously. 
“Oh, just how you and Connor can’t keep it in your goddamn pants,” Jared snorted casually.

“I mean, I’ve never heard Y/N complain-“

Zoe groaned. “Okay, that’s all I can take. Come on, Evan, let’s go eat outside,” she stood up and the blue boy followed. His ears were pink just from listening to the conversation.

“See? Even tree-nut over there can’t be around you two,” Jared remarked.

“What the hell do you mean, Kleinman?” Connor rolled his eyes. 
“I MEAN that we all know how much you guys fuck. My god, look at you; your neck could be a Picasso sunrise!” Jared laughed in between his words. Connor’s hand shot up to his neck immediately, in attempt to hide them.

“Every time we get together, you guys always leave early to have sex,” Alanna pointed out, taking a bite of a baby carrot.

“Do not! When was the last time we did that?” You looked at Alanna with disbelief.

“Literally last week we watched Schindler’s List at my house, and you sucked Connor off in the bathroom,” Alanna stated.

Your face turned bright red. Connor’s ears changed colour like a chameleon to match.

“Who the fuck gets turned on by dead Jews? You guys are messed up,” Jared joked.

You rolled your head back and groaned. “Ugh, you guys are exaggerating! We don’t do it that often.”

Alanna and Jared bounced back and forth.

“Last week. Schindler’s List.”
“Week before that, we went to the arcade. You guys left and had sex at Y/N’s house.”

“Week before that, we all went out to eat and you guys dashed before dessert came.”

“Ok, ok! I get it. We have a lot of sex. But what’s wrong with that?” Connor let out an annoyed sigh.

“There’s nothing wrong with it, scientifically speaking, but it’s just… annoying,” Alanna concluded.

“Yeah, I bet you two couldn’t go a week without having sex.” Jared took a sip of his juice box, giving you both a judgemental glare above the rim of his glasses.

“You’re on,” you shook his hand. Connor choked on his own spit, eyes growing wide.

“Wait, babe, are you sure-”

“Quitting already, Murphy?” Jared spoke as he reached out his hands to shake yours.

Connor gulped, looking between the two of you. “Ok. Fine,” he finally sighed.

Alanna checked her watch, “ok, so this time in exactly a week, you guys cannot have ANY sexual intercourse. That includes anything in sexual nature.”

You nodded with a confident smirk on your face.

Two days have already passed, and it’s been a lot harder than you thought. You have been so used to having little quickies and long nights with Connor, that you felt… frustrated. It was almost as if your nerves were just asking to be trampled on. Even worse, Connor was getting antsy.

You were at his house, in an attempt to study. But he couldn’t sit still. He was full of energy and in a pissed off mood.

“Connor, just come sit down,” you pinched the bridge of your nose with your fingers.

“I can’t fucking sit down. I can’t just sit, I-I need something,” he ran his hand through his long hair, pulling at the roots.

Connor had quit smoking after you two started having sex. When he smoked weed, he felt a release of stress. Then when he became intimate with you, he didn’t need that other outlet. Of course, you were over-the-moon when he told you that he had stopped smoking. And the sex wasn’t too bad either. You stood up from his bed, walking over to him and placed your hand on his arm.

“Look, I get that this is all a shitty bet made by Kleinman, but we have to prove to ourselves that this relationship is more than just sex,” you gave him an endearing look, searching his eyes.

Connor dropped his hands to his sides, nodding. “Yeah. You’re right,” he sighed softly.

The two of you were laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

“Do you remember that time, we were on a date, and you laughed so hard that soda came out of your nose?” Connor teases with a grin.

“Oh don’t remind me,” you giggled.

“I think that’s when I fell in love with you. I mean, who wouldn’t want a girl who has Dr.Pepper for snot?” He tickled your side softly.

“Ok, seriously, shut up. Remember the time you peed yourself in second grade? Yeah, don’t start shit, Murphy.” You jokingly growled back with a laugh.

The two of you continued to joke and share the odd memory or two. You reminisced on embarrassing moments, your firsts, and plans for the future. It had been so long since you two had just sat down spoke to each other. It felt… nice.

Connor must have been thinking the same thing, because when you looked to your right, he was looking right at you. There was something in his eyes that you hadn’t seen in a very long time. It was the look of genuine care and love. His pupils were enlarged and his eyebrows were relaxed. His mind looked like it was put at ease with something other than physical pleasure.

As much as you hated to admit it, Jared might have actually done something useful.

-

Time wore on and your patience grew both thick and thin. A week without sex was a week full of love and frustration. You and Connor took the extra time you had to get to know each other. But your time alone was the most frustrating. 3 days into the week, he had tried to sext you. Sending you teasing messages and pictures of himself that were not-safe-for-work. By the fourth day, he couldn’t keep his hands off of you. When you sat near each other, his hand would run up your leg and be hiked dangerously north. By the fifth day, Connor’s eyes were glued to your neck. He stared at the skin that resembled a blank canvas. He wanted to litter it with bruises created by his lips. He wanted to make sure that everyone knew you were his. And by the sixth day, you couldn’t take it anymore.

-

Connor growled as he shoved you into his room, slamming the door closed. You attacked his lips, pressing so hard that he almost lost balance. Connor yanked your jacket off of your arms, throwing it on the floor. The zipper hit the floor, making a loud noise. But you didn’t care. Every sensation that wasn’t caused by Connor – faded into white noise.

He quickly grabbed your thighs, throwing you onto his double bed. He tucked his head in your neck, biting and finally creating a piece of art that couldn’t be graded. His hands quickly moved under your shirt, grabbing onto your breasts roughly.

“God, I fucking missed these,” he breathed out messily.

“Connor, w-what about your parents? W-What about Zoe?” you whispered in between hot breaths.

His hands grabbed your thighs and pulled them apart roughly, slipping his torso between them. “At work. I don’t fucking care about Zoe,” he grumbled against your skin.

You tipped your head backwards, letting your boyfriend catch up on all the missed time. Every tick, emotion, or outlet he needed was now all in for your pleasure. His anger built up from the week is pushed onto his muscles: carrying out the pleasure that he dedicates to you.

Connor sat on his knees. Stripping off his shirt, he presented the pale torso that you know all-too-well. You placed your hand on the line of hair beneath his belly button. You wanted to admire his beauty, but Connor had other plans. He attached his lips to yours and the two of you continued to remove your clothes, throwing them to the side of his bedroom.

His kisses trailed down your bare body. His movements resembled a waterfall, graceful and with a plan. He got dangerously close to where you wanted him the most. Slipping under the covers, he threw your legs onto his shoulders, burying his face in your thighs. He kissed up them, his nose nuzzling into the soft skin.

“I’m so lucky. So goddamn lucky,” he murmured.

You sucked in your breath, leaning onto your elbows as you watched his every move.

Connor kissed up your legs, and placed a soft kiss to your core. You hissed in delight, mouth hanging agape. Connor licked a single stride, smirking as you squirmed beneath his touch. He alternated between his tongue and fingertips, making sure to give you his undivided attention.

“You’re such a pretty girl, so so pretty,” he murmured against your heat.

You grabbed onto his locks, throwing your head back with your eyes closed. You could feel him humming the tune to your favourite song. You felt so close to the brim and then he pulled away.

Whining, you looked at him. Usually, he would give you 2-3 orgasms a night. But he was too eager to finish what he started. Throwing open his bedside drawer, he reached for a condom and slipped it on.

“Ride me,” he spoke quickly. You nodded and straddled him. You slipped him into you and rested your forehead against his.

-

Zoe walked through the front door of her house. Her mom and dad were at work, but had texted her to ask Connor what he wanted for dinner. Running upstairs, she was already dialing the number to her favourite pizza place.

She swung his bedroom door open, “Hey Connor, what do you want for- OH DEAR GOD.”

A concept: river cahn is a major nerd. she hates softball classes, she threw a fit when she had to go to ballet, she hates anything to do with physical activity…until amanda plops her old ds into her hands, and suddenly river is shoving that old piece of tech into Craig’s face, shouting “daddy look my bulbasuah is a level 10!!!” And he doesn’t know what that means and he’s proud of her. She sits at all her big sisters little league games, quietly trucking away through pokemon, and when she beats the elite four? you can betcha craig and briar and hazel throw down the house in celebration and go and get pizza.

Single - Part 1

Summary: Dean tries to plan a camping trip for his son and the reader doesn’t make it easy for him.

Pairing: Daddy!Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1,419


Dean never planned on braving this world as a single dad, hell he never planned on being single again. He married the love of his life nine years ago, only to discover that she was an adversary in disguise.

Once Dean’s home life became unstable, he knew it was inevitably heading down a rocky road. Leaving was a tough decision because of his son Drew but it turned out being the best thing for everyone.

So that’s how Dean ended up here, here being a charming ranch styled house in the middle of a Kansas suburb. Not a day goes by where he’s not thankful for having the strength to rebuild his life.

Although it definitely helps that Dean’s supportive parents and brother live close by. It helps that he grew up playing on the same dirt that his son is now. And it helps that his sporting goods store became wildly successful, allowing him to do what he loves.

“Alright, Drew. This is your last hurrah before school starts so make it count.” Dean plops down at the kitchen table with a pen and pad in hand.

Keep reading

We Are Young: Prologue

Throne of Glass High School AU

Summary: Senior Rowan Whitethorn is new to town. It doesn’t take him long to get use to a new school, make new friends, even join the local hockey team. But it also doesn’t take him long to meet sophomore and figure skater Aelin Galathynius. And it doesn’t take him long to realize one thing; he can’t stand her.

Next Chapter

——————–

Rowan couldn’t help but feel a bit foolish as he stepped into the cafeteria, lunch tray in hand. He stood in the doorway for a moment, eyes moving from table to table. He observed the crowds around him, looking for a head of golden hair.

Relieved wasn’t actually the right word he’d use for when Fenrys invited him to sit at his table during lunch. But he did feel the slightest bit grateful. He wasn’t particularly looking forward to spending another lunch by himself. Plus he thought he was doing pretty well. Only three days into the school year at a new school and he was already, somewhat, making friends. Hopefully when he told his mother this, she’d get off his back.

Though he wouldn’t exactly call Fenrys a friend at this point. He simply seen the Pittsburgh Penguins patch on Rowan’s backpack in the bio class they shared and deemed Rowan interesting enough to talk to. Turns out Fenrys was a Penguins fan too. And that’s basically all it took for him to invite Rowan to sit with him at lunch.

Thankfully, he wasn’t standing too long when he spotted golden hair pulled back in a low pony tail. With long strides, Rowan made his way over to the table. He wasn’t typically a nervous person, but he still tried not to pay too much attention to the other bodies sitting around the table.

“Hey man,” Fenrys grinned up at him before pointing to the chair on his right. “Take a seat.”

Keep reading

“Ted... I don't get microwaves.”

Ted the Animator: “…what?”

Carl the Animator: “Microwaves.”

Ted the Animator: “Microwaves?” 

Carl the Animator:Microwaves.”

Ted the Animator: “…like, how they work?”

Carl the Animator: “Nah, I can google that. That’s the easy part.”

Ted the Animator: “…ok?”

Carl the Animator: “What I don’t get is why the manufacturers make the doors louder than a space shuttle launch.” 

Ted the Animator: “Oh. Do they?”

Carl the Animator: “Yes! Every other cooking method has a reasonable operational volume for use in quiet houses at night. Microwave doors, though? KACHUNG!

Ted the Animator: “I was completely unaware.”

Carl the Animator: “What, have you never made 1 A.M. pizza rolls or something?”

Ted the Animator: “…no. No Carl, I have not.”

Carl the Animator: “Oh, you live a sheltered life, my friend.”

Carl the Animator: “GPSs are mysterious, too. Why do they like to randomly take you down elaborate, windy, and slooooow residential routes?”

Ted the Animator: “Inaccurate maps, prolly?”

Carl the Animator: “Maybe… or, maybe it’s ‘cause they want to give time estimates, so they need a guinea pig to try the insane and obviously-bad routes just to see what happens?

Ted the Animator: “I’m sure there’s at least one conspiracy theory website about that.” 

Carl the Animator:And, while I’m at it, why are Froot Loops spelled in such a stupid way?”

Ted the Animator: “Yeah, that’s… that’s a little weird, I guess.”

Carl the Animator: “They could just as easily switch their random vowel swap and make it Fruit Luips, but you don’t see them using that, now do you.”

Ted the Animator: “…that wasn’t the direction I thought you were going with that, but ok.”

Carl the Animator: “And why is the Mattress Firm called Mattress Firm?!

Ted the Animator: “It means ‘firm’ like ‘business organization’, Car-”

Carl the Animator: “Terrible marketing. They should call it the Mattress Soft.”

Ted the Animator: “…you’re crazy, but at least it’s an endearing kind of crazy, Carl.”

Carl the Animator: “Hashtag lifegoals.”

endless summer characters as people u meet at a party

diego: the one who got too drunk and keeps crying and asking the DJ to play taylor swift songs

michelle: wore the same dress as you and looks better in it

lila: the step-mom who bought all the alcohol for the party because she wants teenagers to think she is cool

quinn: the nice drunk girl in the bathroom who compliments your shoes and offers you some chapstick, like the nice burts bees kind

jake: “anyway here’s wonderwall”

grace: that chick who brought her homework and actually started doing it

iris: what do you want me to say about her she is not a real human being she’s the spotify playlist the DJ is using or something idk

craig: the guy that won’t stop yelling “DO IT FOR THE VINE”

sean: three girls are trying to hit on him but he keeps texting his mom

raj: dude that made pizza rolls inexplicably even though it’s not his house and the host didn’t have any pizza rolls in the freezer so where did he get them?? did he bring them??? we aren’t sure

zahra: came to the party “”“ironically”””

estela: found the cat and just sits in a bedroom silently petting it and when couples come in to try and hook up she just looks at them and keeps petting the cat until they leave

aleister: yeah he didn’t even go

the breakup // montgomery de la cruz

summary: montgomery de la cruz, a well-known student in liberty high. he hung with the popular crowd, got into very many fights and was seen with a different girl every week. long story short, he was a total dick. well, that was the case until she came into his life.

word count: 1562 words

a/n: this is based off the song the break up by lany which i have been listening to for weeks. i’ve been having a lot of monty feels lately too so i was inspired to write this. i put a lot of effort into this, i hope you guys like it. also, i recommend listening to the song while reading

you can listen to the song here

Originally posted by montedelacruz

Jumping heart to heart, and it’s starting to wear me down
“He’s a total dick” is my reputation around town

“Alright, I’ll see you around babe.” Monty winked at the blonde. He couldn’t even recall her name. But there he was, leading her on, making her think there was something between them. She was simply a good fuck, a girl he hooked up with last night.

“I’ll see you around babe,” A voice mocked from behind. Monty turned around and found a snickering Bryce. “Damn Monty, who was that?”

“Hey man,” He scratched the back of his neck. “I don’t even remember her name.”

“You’re a fucking playboy. That’s what you are!” Bryce howled, giving him a pat on the back.

They got a pretty face, but they got a pretty empty head
And I want to stick around but damn I’m bored

Monty was currently on a date with the blonde from last week. He asked her out just so he could get out of the house during the weekend. Although deep inside, he was hoping that maybe, just maybe, his brain would flip a switch and view her as more than a something he could play with. Love perhaps. Monty was human; all he wanted was to find love like everyone else.

“What do you think, Monty?” The blonde asked.

He quickly snapped out of his thoughts. “Um no?” He answered, not even having the slightest clue of what she was talking about.

“You’re not even listening to me! I asked if you preferred pizza or salad.” She huffed in irritation. He shrugged in response, obviously not having a care in the world.

“I’m getting out of here. Call me when you actually want to listen to me.” She stood up from the booth and sashayed away. He sighed and leaned back on his seat.

He made up his mind. He definitely did not like her. Sure, she was drop dead gorgeous and her attitude was somewhat tolerable but it just wasn’t working out for him.

Monty looked around the place and spotted a girl. He identified her as Y/N Y/L/N; he knew she went to Liberty High as well. He watched her carefully, she seemed to be enjoying her meal, shoveling curly fries into her mouth and he weirdly found that cute. Then and there, the switch he oh-so-wanted to flip… actually flipped. He was inexplicably drawn to her.

“Here goes nothing.” He mumbled to himself and before heading over to her table.

How the hell do you stay in love
You’re at dinner looking down playing with your knife and fork

Friday was date night for Y/N and Monty. She felt like their relationship lacked something lately so she wanted it to be perfect, already planning it a week before. She was going to cook his favorite meal and then catch a movie at The Crestmont after.

An hour passed and there was still no sign of him. Y/N sighed in frustration. The food was getting cold and they were already twenty minutes late to the movie. She grabbed her phone from the counter and sent him a quick text.

where are you? you said you’d be here at 6

No response.

Just as she was about to press call, Monty walked through the door.

“Hey babe,” He walked over to her giving her a peck on the cheek. “The food looks great.”

Y/N glared daggers at him. “Where were you? I was starting to get worried!”

“Relax. I was with Justin and Zach. We went to grab some beers after school.” He responded nonchalantly.

Anger coursed through her veins. “You blew me off for them? We had plans, de la Cruz.” She detached herself from his grip and headed for the door.

Another day, another argument. He was sick of it. “You’re always breathing down my neck, Y/N!” Monty bellowed from behind her.

Arguments weren’t new to their relationship. Y/N and Monty would argue every once in a while but recently it became more frequent. He complained on how she bitched about his actions all the time and how he felt like he wasn’t doing anything right. In her defense, she was just looking out for him. She didn’t want him to get hurt. More importantly, she was afraid of him going back to his old ways.

She stopped in her tracks and faced him. “Since when is it such a crime to look out for my boyfriend?”

“You call that looking out for me?” He gave her a sharp look and chuckled angrily. “It’s called being a-”

“Listen Monty,” She cut him off, voice stern. “I don’t want to hear it.” He opened his mouth to say something but shut it just as fast.

Y/N stared at the floor as minutes of agonizing silence passed. She could feel the heavy tension and she hated it. She couldn’t help but think this was going to be the end of their relationship. The thought of that possibility made her physically sick. She couldn’t lose him. She loved this boy with her all, she couldn’t give him up just like that.

Monty tugged at the ends of his hair and sighed. “I don’t want this anymore, Y/N. I want to be alone.“

Y/N felt like everything was crashing down on her. She swallowed hard, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill. “Fine,” She seethed. “Just leave.”

You think you wanna be alone
Just wait until you’re crying on the shower floor
It hits you in the chest, ‘bout every day you’re done
Cause once you let it go you better know its gone

Monty tried to contact Y/N at least a few times after that night. She didn’t bother returning any of his calls or texts. He tried talking to her at school but she did a good job at avoiding him. She was absolutely dejected and she hated it. She hated how broken she was.

“Y/N, wait up!” Zach jogged over, stopping in front of her.

She bit her lip in unease. “This better be important. I’m almost late for class.”

“Well, uh listen, you gotta talk to Monty,” She scoffed at his words before letting him continue. “You guys need to sort this out. He hasn’t been doing well lately.”

She snapped at the mention of Monty. “And you think I am? Sorry to be rude but I see that this conversation isn’t important. I should get going.” She stormed away leaving Zach dumbfounded.

Just like Y/N, Monty was drowning in the ocean of heartbreak and regret. He felt broken too. He was always over at Bryce’s, getting drunk and wallowing in sadness. When he threw those last words at her that night, he immediately regretted it. All the anger and pain from their arguments the past few days, got to him and he took it out on her. It was all in the heat of the moment. He didn’t just want her back, he needed her back, but he knew that was near to impossible.

It’s never the same, uh, yeah, after the breakup
It’s never the same, love, don’t try to make up

Monty stepped out of the car and headed towards the front door of Y/N’s house. It’s been almost three weeks since their break up and Y/N finally agreed to his request of talking things out.

To say he was nervous was an understatement. He ran his hands through his hair, trying to calm himself down before ringing the doorbell. A few seconds passed before the door opened, revealing Y/N. He stared at her in awe. She looked better than ever, its almost as if his absence hadn’t affected her. In fact, she looked happier.

“You can, uh, come in.” She mumbled awkwardly before opening the door fully, letting him in.

He took a seat on the end of the couch and Y/N walked over and sat on the other end, she wanted to be as far away as possible from him.

“Y/N,” He looked at her, sincerity evident in his eyes. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. I shouldn’t have blown you off for Justin and Zach when it was our special day. For fuck’s sake, what was I thinking? I would pick my girlfriend over anything else. I should have been there. I’m sorry for ignoring all your effort and making you feel unimportant. I was so insensitive to your feelings. Y/N, letting you go was my biggest mistake. Please let me make it up to you, take me back.

“Ex girlfriend,” She corrected rather harshly. She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose before speaking again. “I had a lot of time to think about us and honestly, Monty, you’re right. I don’t think this will work out. Plus, I’m not gonna allow myself to be treated like shit again.” He could feel his heart shatter as she spoke.

She took a deep breath. “I’m sorry but I think breaking up is for the best.” He simply nodded at her, too upset to come up with a response.

They stood at the doorway, saying their goodbyes. He looked at her for the last time and in that moment, it dawned upon him, that he, Montgomery de la Cruz had lost the girl he loved for good.

Play pretend - Bucky Barnes

Summary: In order to accomplish your mission Bucky and you have to pretend to be married. 

AN: I have decided to rewrite the old “fake married” and this is what came out of that. I’m thinking there will be more parts, but i’m still not sure how many yet. This took a while to write so keep that in mind. That’s all. Hope you guys like it. x

Part 2 Part 3

Originally posted by gliceria


“We have suspicions that a couple in this town,” Steve pointed to the huge screen behind him, “has ties to the crime organisation KIRA. We are worried they might be planning an attack.”

The meeting room was filled with all the Avengers and Steve who was assigning new missions.

Steve grabbed two files, “Here is everything we know about them.”

“Y/N and Bucky,” you straightened up at the sound of your name, “ you will be going on an undercover mission. All further information is also in the files. You leave in 2 days.”

Steve threw the files over the table in your directions before moving on to the next mission.

You quickly flipped through the files to get an idea of what the mission entailed. Essentially what you would have to do was pretend to be married and gain the couple’s trust and figure out what they are planning.

You glanced over at Bucky trying to access how he felt about this but all you got was a brief unknown emotion quickly replaced by a reticent look. You didn’t know what you hoped to see, but not being able to read him threw you off. Hopefully, he wasn’t cursing Steve out in his mind for assigning the two of you on the same mission.

“Dismissed.” Steve ended the meeting and you let the thought slide as you left the room.

The day had passed by in the blink of an eye and the halls were lit up with bright fluorescent lights that made your tired eyes squint in pain. You hurried into your own room, quickly slipping out of your workwear grabbing an oversized shirt laying nearby. You grabbed the file, slid under the duvet covers, and were ready to study it until you knew everything by heart.

You would be going undercover as Lisa Wright, a 24-year-old, known for being charitable and always volunteering at events. Bucky would be going undercover as Jared Wright. The recently married Lisa and Jared were currently trying for a baby and had decided that moving to the suburbs would be the best environment for a family.  

Pretending to love someone would forever be one of the hardest parts of going undercover. People were quick to notice, subconsciously, if something’s off. You had to sell the act or else everything would fail.

You read the next page of the file containing all the information they had gathered on the couple so far. Amy and Daniel Williams had moved to the town two years earlier from an unknown location. Further information about their lives could not be found suspiciously. They were involved in all of the town’s events and had quickly snaked their way into the town community. It was now up to Bucky and you to gather more information that could possibly incriminate them.


The next day was spent preparing to leave. Furniture and other knick-knacks were taken care of for you and would arrive with you to the house. All you had to do was to fill some suitcases with enough clothes that would look realistic. You packed the usual housewife clothes like summer dresses, knowing you would have to blend in. Sifting through the clothes you had been sent took longer than expected and by the time you were done it was already evening.

“Who’s ready to eat some pizza?” Wanda and Nat didn’t wait for you to open the door but let themselves right in. Wanda carried two large boxes of pizza and threw them down in front you before gracefully sitting down on the armchair. Natasha came in seconds later carrying a bottle of wine and three glasses.

“I guess I am.” you laughed helping Natasha put down the glasses on the small table before sitting down on the couch. You reached out to open the bottle pouring the liquid into the glasses.

Working top secret missions and risking your lives on a daily basis took a toll on you. Friends weren’t something you got easily, the worry that they would be targeted stopped most of you from forming any. The girls had been a pleasant surprise and nights like these could almost make you feel like a normal woman.

“So what does your mission entail?” Wanda asked curiously.

You took a sip of your glass before answering, “I have to pretend to be married to Bucky so we can gather information.”

Natasha raised her eyebrow smirking over the rim of her glass. “Bucky, huh?”

“Stop, don’t make it something it isn’t.”

“The two of you do look awfully close…” Wanda added remembering all the times she walked in on the two of you sitting close laughing together.

“We’re just friends. Good friends.”

“Very good friends, indeed.” Nat didn’t miss the flush that crept over your neck as you grabbed a piece of pizza trying to change the subject.

“What about you guys?” The girls let the topic lie, letting you off the hook for now.

You spent a few hours just catching up with the girls and relaxing before it was time for bed. Tomorrow you would be in a completely different town pretending to be someone else possibly endangering your life. When you would be back was unknown but hopefully, it would be soon.


The house looked like it came directly out of a movie with its white picket fence and gorgeous garden. The surrounding houses looked exactly the same and fit the picturesque town. 

“Where do you want this?” One of the men helping you move pointed to the couch.

“Oh, just in here.” You lead the way showing him to the living room. You were almost finished getting the larger furniture into the house so you started unboxing the boxes to the kitchen.

Bucky was currently upstairs assembling your new bed. The bed the two of you would be sharing. Sleeping in together. Oh boy. The girls might have been correct about the two of you being close. But this would bring you into entirely new territory. 


The house started to look put together after a few intense hours of unboxing. There was still some boxes left but those would have to wait till tomorrow. The downstairs was almost done and just needed a few personal touches. 

“Doll, are you ready to eat? I made us dinner,” Bucky asked sticking his head around the corner so he could look at you. 

You followed him through the kitchen to the small dining room. “You made lasagna?” you exclaimed delightfully.

“You told me once it was your favourite,” He shrugged casually.

“I can’t believe you remembered” You gave him a soft smile, “Shall we?” 

You both sat down and Bucky began cutting into the lasagna. You gave him your plate silently and soon the two of you were eating peacefully. 

“I saw a few curious neighbours looking through their windows when I was outside,” Bucky said. 

“Well, they probably haven’t seen new faces in a while,” you wiped your mouth carefully with a napkin. 

“It is a small town, “ Bucky agreed, “I’m sure tomorrow someone will come knocking.”

You hummed, “This is probably the last night we can be ourselves without having to worry about being bugged.”

“Well, let’s enjoy it then.” He raised his glass in cheers. 

“To a night with no worries.” You repeated clinking your glasses together. 

The rest of the night was uneventful. Bucky somehow got the TV to work so you spent a few hours watching a movie before you decided it was time for bed. 

“I’m gonna go to bed,” you told Bucky getting up from the couch. 

“I’ll be up soon,” he responded.

You changed into some of the nightwear you brought with you and after finishing your nightly routine you slid into the newly made bed. By the time Bucky joined you were already half asleep.

“Goodnight, doll,” he whispered putting the duvet that had slid off over you again. He paused for a moment before you felt his hand brush some hair back. He laid back down with a sigh. Tomorrow all your troubles would begin and hopefully, you would both come out of it unscathed.

Your Name and Kiss Belong in the Same Sentence

Summary: Neither Dan or Phil has ever had a boyfriend before and they think that part of the reason might be because nobody even realises they like boys.  So, as best friends do, they decide to pretend to date each other, that way at least it’s obvious they aren’t straight.  And with an agreed upon set of boundaries, nothing can go wrong.  Right?

Word Count: 9k

Warnings: swearing, anxiety attack, underage drinking/alcohol

A/N: me actually finishing a fic?? who knew this was even possible anymore lmao (although i found 6k of this already done in my drafts from october so?? does this even count).  also tysm to leah for letting me scream at her about this and for editing it for me, you’re the best <33

read on ao3 instead

Dan and Phil had been best friends for what felt like forever.  They had grown up together, in houses only a few blocks away and couldn’t remember a time where they hadn’t known each other.  They had always been Dan and Phil, their names never separated.

Everyone had warned them that friends often grow apart over time, especially as they moved from middle school to high school.  For some reason people seemed to think that there was no way that the two boys could stay as close friends as they were forever.

Keep reading

Apologize (Steve harrington x reader) [part 2]

A/N: This is a request that I got as an au where Steve takes his best friend with him to go fight the demogorgon in S1, reposted from my other blog! Send me updates on how you liked S2 and feel free to send in requests!

Warnings: blood, crying, angst, violence, cursing???? let me know if I missed anything

masterlist + request

part 1

Originally posted by ewpunk

Keep reading