me: hey tumblr i need you to post these things onto this blog at this time. is that okay? tumblr app: oops! looks like the tumblr goblims work all gunked up! looks like somegiing went a little little fuck piss pee pee! uh oh and gack! why not cheese fucking pizza baby? oh yeah! looks like we did it! oh fuck and oh no! looks like the tumblr
Head canon that whenever Natasha is asked sexist questions by the media, the boys just keep going to increasingly ridiculous lengths to get there and answer the question instead.
Reporter: Do you ever feel resentment for this job reducing the possibility of having a family? Bruce, strolling by: I don’t know, I never really thought about having a family to begin with. I prefer spending my time in the company of friends.
Reporter: Do you feel like you have to be super girly to stand out or super masculine to fit in with all the men? Steve, jumping over from his own group of reporters: See, that’s what I love about the 21st century. Lots of room for gender expression however you want. *pointed Disappointed Captain Look*
Reporter: Do you think your emotions ever get the best of you on the field? Thor, landing with Mjolnir: I have spent many years learning to control my pride on the battlefield and not lose my head during a fight. I thank my shield brothers and sister for helping me.
Reporter: How do you come out of a fight looking so fabulous? Tony, flying in on a private helicopter probably: It’s just genetics, dear. I always look fabulous. I looked fabulous while dying.
Reporter: What kind of product do you use in your hair? Bucky, ziplining in from the next building over: L’oreal. *hands out the expertly photoshopped ad Darcy made of him in a L’oreal ad*
Reporter: What kind of diet do you use to stay in shape? Clint, leaping out of an air vent: You know, I’ve been thinking of trying paleo, but this is all natural. Pizza for days, baby. Keeping aliens from destroying the world tends to burn a few calories.
Genre: Expecting Parents AU / Fluff and Non-explicit smut.
Summary: Jeon Jeongguk is a computer science major working as a pizza delivery boy, and you are an uninspired published author who has just started an art degree. When you realise that the delivery boy is your old high school crush, he keeps coming back, but with more to offer than just puff pastry and vegetarian supreme. Though little did he know that he would end up giving you something much more that flips both of your worlds completely upside down in the form of two blue lines and nine months.
Count: 9,656 words.
The second is a little faint, but it is there, undeniably there, growing stronger by the second as your heart sinks deeper into the pit of your stomach and suddenly you are keeling over the sink, throwing up a combination of panic and regret. You wipe your mouth, sit back on the closed lid of the toilet, shut your eyes and take a deep breath, holding it until your lungs burn and your lashes fly back apart to look at the test still shaking between your fingertips.
There, right before your eyes, two fucking blue lines protruding like two middle fingers, poking up at you and saying – Congratulations sucker, you are pregnant!
Twenty-three years old and pregnant.
You throw up again.
This has got to be the biggest mistake of your life.