diary post!! wee woo wee woo

i got a job, like one where you have to go to a place and do art stuff and then go home at the end of the day. its very temporary which is actually kinda comforting. insert learning-how-to-swim metaphor here.

i’m pretty sure it is supposed to be cool and exciting but i’m too busy worrying about literally everything to feel cool and excited! in fact i feel terrible and there’s no gettin’ around it besides waiting it out. i guess.

its kind of a super bummer but i know it eventually won’t be. new environments and situations make me feel like garbage but avoiding stuff like that forever is double garbage!! in the future there’ll be less garbage in my guts and i’ll prolly be hangin’ around cool places, doin’ cool things, and sending emails like nobody’s business and there won’t be any of this dissonance nonsense gettin’ in the way.