pish posh

rose-draconum  asked:

Ace Fred Weasley II would get one of those prank cans that when opened would create an explosion of purple and black glitter with an Ace Pride flag; he sets it off at Weasley Family Dinner to come out. Afterwards, his father is so supportive that he creates a new line of Pride gear at WWW -R

Fred II has been wanting to come out as asexual for a while now. But he wants to come out to his parent’s first, and he wants to do it in just the right way. Inspiration is slow to strike, but it’s okay. Fred’s good at waiting. He’s the kind of kid who can be the life of the party when he wants, but otherwise can go pretty unnoticed - useful for collecting all types of information that he absolutely never uses to blackmail his cousins into doing all sorts of hilarious things. Point being, Fred is patient. He wants to come out. Wants to share this with his parents. But he can wait until the time is right.

Fred really went into the muggle store on a dare. Turns out that the prank shop was a goldmine. Fred II walks out with an exploding prank can and a huge grin on his face. Dinner tonight is going to be the best. With a little creative spellwork, he transforms the green shamrocks into purple and black glitter and the snake into an ace pride flag. He’s finally ready.

~

The flag hovers over the table and in the brief moment of silence - a rare occurrence indeed - Fred II wonders if this was really the best way to come out. Or maybe he should have come out to just his parents. He’d just gotten so excited and wanted to share it with everyone at once -

“I KNEW it!” Rose roars, standing triumphantly up. “Pay up, suckers!” And suddenly money is being quickly exchanged between all of his cousins.

“I don’t -” Uncle Ron is saying before Hermione cuts him off, reminding him that it’s the ace pride flag.

Uncle Harry, who’s sitting the closest to him, slaps his back in a friendly manner. “Welcome to the Club,” he says. “Charlie’s president, so we don’t meet much since he’s away all the time,” he smiles and winks. Fred rolls his eyes.

Grandma is leaning over past grandpa and reaching towards his wrist. “Oh, really, now, Fred. You know I love you,” she says before turning to Teddy to give him a pointed glare. “What exactly was wrong with just coming out? Now you’ve turned it into a competition between everyone, nearly giving me a heart attack every time someone comes out,” she admonishes. 

Teddy simply winks and gives him a thumbs up, a gesture James copies.

“Thanks, Fred!” Rose grins, stuffing her pockets full of money, clearly having taken the largest share of the pot from their cousins. “Oh, and congrats on finally coming out.”

“She means thanks for trusting us enough to come out to us,” Hugo corrects, starting a small bickering match between his sister and himself.

And then Fred is being enveloped in a ginormous hug from his father, who doesn’t bother to say anything.

Mum quirks an eyebrow at him once his dad has quit hugging him, a huge grin still on his face. “Is that all spelled? You know we’re going to talk about that later. But I’m proud of you for telling us,” she says with the barest hint of a smile.

~

Two weeks after Fred II comes out, and dad drags him to the shop.

“Dad, I’ve seen the new puking pastilles. The old ones were better.”

“Pish posh,” dad says cheerily. “Besides, this is something new. Just wait here.”

Fred rolls his eyes but stands obediently where his dad asks, near the front of the shop.

“Ta-da!” dad shouts, while at the same time the shop briefly flashes purple, black, and gray, before the color goes right again. Streamers burst down from the ceiling and mini-pride-colored-fireworks go off (one in the shape of a dragon, which Fred files away to absolutely get one of those), and then several new stands pop up in the store. Fred recognizes various pride colors amongst the stands: aro, ace, bi, gay, lesbian, pan, genderqueer, trans, and nonbinary. Others he doesn’t recognize but has no doubts they’re pride-related.

Dad pops down from upstairs right next to Fred, apparating even though he only had to go down a few stairs. “Look,” he says, dragging Fred along the stands. “Candy that lets you breathe a burst of fire in the pride color you buy, some of those cool exploding cans you found that burst into pride flags, plain hats that turn the wearer into your pride colors of choice, pins to show your pride that disappear after a day, lollipops that make the person eating them spout out random messages of support and understanding, and - okay, yes, there are puking pastilles here, but they give you multi-colored pride puke. Not very useful for getting out of class but good for grossing your friends out. It’s not everything, either, just my start! I’m going to offer a permanent pride line here,” dad presents, a huge grin on his face.

Fred lets everything sink in slowly. He feels the grin slowly spreading across his face. “Oh. Dad. I have so many ideas,” he says.

~Hufflepuff Mod

anonymous asked:

Hey, I've considered HRT and stuff, but I fear that's girls wouldn't date me of I was a girl with a penis (I don't want to go through reassignment surgery). What's your experience and or advice with that?

oh pish posh! To be honest, my dating life has never been better. I’ve never been flirted with by so many girls in my life! Yeah dating cis people might become a bit more complicated but there are still so many girls out there who are willing to date trans women and see us just like any other girl, despite our genitalia. Also there are a hell of a lot of fucking adorable trans women out there who would make great girlfriends!!

like/reblog this if you are a girl who would date a trans girl!

anonymous asked:

For the AgeReversal, any chance of seeing Obi-Wan's first girlfriend/boyfriend with Dad!Anakin and BigBrother!clones being protective?

Narrowing his eyes slowly, Anakin crossed his arms over his chest as he stared to the other side of the hanger. Beside him, Rex also narrowed his eyes, first in confusion and then in understanding as he rested his hands on his belt.

The cause for their reactions?

A giggling Obi-Wan, the boy’s fingers brushing against the bare arm of Quinlan Vos as the Jedi master grinned down at the former padawan of Anakin and Rex commander.

“…Is he flirting with Obi-Wan? Is Obi-Wan flirting back to him?” Rex growled out.

“Certainly looks like it.” Anakin rolled his shoulders, his curls tied back in a bun in the nape of his neck. “But for Vos sake he better not be.”

And then Vos ducked his head down and pressed a light kiss to Obi-Wan’s lips.

It was only the sheer audacity that saved Vos hide this time as both Rex and Anakin were too shocked as the master boarded a shuttle moments later, smirking at the blushing redhead.

As the ramp closed, the kiffar looked up and then his eyes widened in surprise as they meet Anakin’s steely blue ones.

And then he was off and only a blushing Obi-Wan was left in the hanger, standing there with a silly smile on his lips until he turned and saw Rex and Anakin.

Green eyes bugged out in shock and then Obi-Wan looked around desperately before he skirted off into a side entrance and escaping.

“…Hunt him down?” Rex got out, voice choked.

“Big time.” Anakin started moving after that boy because what the kriff was that!

()()()

“So if your dad asks Leia, Master Vos has neeeeever been in this apartment, right?” Obi-Wan laughed nervously as he fluttered around, cleaning up and glancing around for any sign of Quinlan in his apartment, any stray tunics or belts or even strands of hair!

On the couch, Leia raised one perfectly groomed eyebrow, her padawan braid resting against her shoulder as the twelve year old crossed her arms over her chest. “So you want me to lie to him, got it master.”

Obi-Wan shot the teen a long look. “You know how your father is, he saw me and master Vos in the hanger, kissing. I mean for Force sake, he and the 501st still call me their ‘boy’.” Obi-Wan shook his head.

At least Cody and those of the 212th knew he was adult enough.

…He hoped.

Damn it.

“Fine fine, I wont tell him you regularly get bum fr-”

“You finish that sentence and I will have you take over creche meditation from Master Dolan young lady.” Obi-Wan said in warning.

Leia sniggered but went back to her homework. “Just tell him Vos makes you happy. You smile a lot when he’s around.”

“And you REALLY think that will work?” Obi-Wan sent her a skeptical look.

Leia hummed then shrugged. “Get Mom on your side.”

“…You’re a genius.”

()()()

“Isn’t marvelous Anakin!” Padme beamed, settling down the pasta for dinner as she sent Obi-Wan an affectionate look. “Obi-Wan has been telling me all about his boyfriend, Quinlan Vos, I must say I’m glad he waited so long and such a respectable man too.” She chirped, skipping to the kitchen.

Anakin sent Obi-Wan a long look at that.

Quinlan Vos, respectable?

“He’s old enough to be Obi-Wan’s dad…” He offered and shut his mouth when Padme waved a hand as she brought the bread basket over.

“Oh pish posh, long life expectancy and at least we know that Vos isn’t taking advantage of Obi-Wan or playing games with his heart. I mean honestly…” She picked up a knife and started slowly cutting into one of the buns of from the bread basket. “That would be a severely silly move on master Vos part wouldn’t it.” She let the statement linger.

Obi-Wan felt himself pale.

Leia sniggered under her breath and the redhead sent his padawan a betrayed look.

“Oh! I know! You should invite master Vos for dinner. Its about time we had a get together anyhow and I know Fives wanted to speak to you about something. It would be a superb chance for everyone.” Padme beamed at Obi-Wan.

“…Yes ma’m.” Obi-Wan sunk down in his chair, glancing at Anakin who was smiling adoringly at his wife.

‘…Best warn Quinlan.’ Obi-Wan thought.

2

Listen: 8tracks | Spotify

100% serious fanmix dedicated to thranduil & the mirkwood clique otherwise known as the soundtrack to tolkien spinning in his grave

Sacred Vows

Summary: This was written for @bionic-buckyb​‘s 5K writing challenge. I chose the prompt, “There’s no one else I’d rather have in my life than you” Thank you for allowing me to take part in this. Hope you like it.

Word Count: Kinda lengthy (sorry)

 Pairing: Bucky x Reader

A/N: I’m a true romantic and James Buchanan Barnes deserves to love and be loved. 

Bucky wanted a simple ceremony in front of a justice of the peace. You didn’t care as long as you and he were joined in holy matrimony. Natasha Romanoff super sleuth discovered your plans and alerted the team. Tony scoffed at the thought of a “shot gun wedding.” “You’re getting married on my private island. Pepper will handle the wedding details and the rest of us are your wing men and women.” Tony rubbed his hands together with a gleam in his eyes. You could see the cogs turning in his head!!

“But Tony, Bucky and I don’t want anything over the top,” Y/N pleaded, trying to keep up with his long strides. “Uh, sorry future Mrs. Frost Bite, did you say something?” Bucky slapped his forehead and sighed heavily, finally relenting, “okay Stark. Our wedding is in your hands.”

A chorus of “yay” and thunderous applause erupted in the common room. Pepper sprang into action contacting the necessary shops. While on the phone with the decorator, she removed the phone from her ear, “YN? What are your colors?” Honestly, you and Bucky never discussed colors. “We don’t have a color preference.” “Pish posh. Let me see. What about cobalt blue, grey and white?” “Okay, let’s see the colors together.” Hanging up from the decorators she pulled up the colors on her tablet and showed them to Bucky and his fiancé.

“What do you think, babe?” Bucky looked in amazement. “I really like the colors. What do you think, Doll?” “I say YES.” Wanda and Nat found a quaint little bridal shop in Manhattan, Le Chic. The bridal party arrived via white stretch limo.

“Ladies, your chariot awaits.” YN, Wanda, Nat and Dr. Cho gasped. “Really Tony? A limo?” “Yep future Mrs. Frozensicle. Go big or go home.” The ladies looked at each other and made their way to the white stretch limo. Pepper knew Tony had a soft spot for YN and wanted to make her special day one they’ll never forget.

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anonymous asked:

Can you do ome where you and Harry go to Annes (not for the first time) you dont have any kids not married just engaged amd have a nice family dinner there

Sure
(not edited)

You had become so excited to make your announcement. You couldn’t wait to tell these people that you wanted to make them apart of your family, and you hoped they would accept you into theirs. They were just such lovely people and you couldn’t believe how lucky you were to be able to say that they were going to be legally your in-laws. You had the inkling that Harry wasn’t as eager to do so, though. Whenever an opportunity came up to segue into your announcement, he would quickly change the topic. You were starting to get offended. You felt as though Harry thought he was making a mistake, and was taking his sweet time to decide whether or not to put his family through another messy breakup. You wanted to say something but the two of you were almost never alone when you were with Harry’s family. And, to be honest, you would usually not have it any other way. You loved spending time with Harry’s family, but you wanted nothing more to ask Harry what was going on, in private.

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theearlgrey  asked:

Hiya. If its possible could you do the DA:I companions and advisors reacting to an Inquisitor who had family die during the Chantry explosion in Kirkwall?

Varric will feel like he’s partially to blame for it… he was there, after all. He should have known what Anders was planning. He’ll offer his shoulder anytime they need it.

Cassandra will do her best to try and cheer them up whenever the Inquisitor would remember their family. That’ll usually include badmouthing Anders, and probably hitting something, but she’ll do her best.

Sera can understand, she didn’t have a mom or dad, but she can understand loss. She’ll try and make them feel better when the sadness overtook them. She’ll play some pranks and try to get a smile on that glum face.

Cole would feel the hurt, reach out and pull the strings to untangle the pain. He would ask questions if he was more human. “what were they like?” He had heard from Varric that sometimes talking it out helps get the feelings sorted out. He hopes he’s doing it right.

Leliana is probably the most sympathetic of all. She had friends at that chantry. To see a mage destroy it just because the grand cleric didn’t anything to stop the already crumbling city from falling apart? It boiled her blood, so she gave her all when it came to comforting the heartbroken Inquisitor.

Cullen will act similarly. He hated Anders, what he did was incredibly stupid. He’ll comfort the Inquisitor the best way he can. He’ll suggest walking the battlements, or going with him to train troops. It’s what he does when the world gets too heavy for him, so he hopes it works for them, too.

Vivienne will talk to the Inquisitor about the good times they had with their family before Anders. She’d remind them that they were free of this war Plagued world, hopefully with the maker.

Solas will lend a warm shoulder to cry on when the feelings from before hit the Inquisitor hard. He’d offer kind words, and ask if they didn’t want to be alone that night. Anything to see them smile again. Anything.

Josephine will offer to do favors for the Inquisitor in mourning. She’ll show up to their quarters with comforting gifts she’d think they’d like, like food and clothes and soap and whatnot. She may not be able to understand fully what they are going though, but she’ll do all she can to help them.

Dorian will do his best to help them laugh, and forget for even a few minutes. He’ll pish-posh about something ridiculous he had seen/heard (mainly about solas) making his best attempt at distracting them from how they’re feeling. He understand well how hard it is to shake off despair.

Blackwall (with their consent) would hold them close, embrace them and rub their back, allowing them to cry into his chest. He’s not so good with words as some others may be. He’s much more felt, and he’s hoping that holding them, soothing them, will do something to help their healing.

Likewise with Bull. He understands loss, and despite not having an actual family like the Inquisitor, he has lost many friends that were as close to family as their parents were to them. He’d hold them until they’ve stopped crying, asking the Inquisitor if they wanted to be alone, or wanted a warm night sleep in his arms. He wouldn’t try anything, except for comfort.

Unhappy Trial of Style, mortals!

The Great Nyehehe is said to be the most evil, powerful, and fashionable being in all the universe, and that-

“And who says that?”

Shut up. And that shall be proven yet again today, mortals, when The Great Nyehehe asserts himself as the most stylish and sinister being in the universe!! You mismatched morons cannot even hope to begin of dreaming of ever achieving even an iota of a chance of being anywhere near as fashionable as The Great Nyehehe!! Nyehehe!!

“Yes, well, hello dahlings. I’ve taken it as a sort of challenge to make this spaz look spiffy this Trial of Style! I’ve certainly got my work cut out for me.”

What was that, mortal?

“Nothing, dahling. Just, go speak with the etheral inside to sign up for the contest, won’t you?“

“Yes, dahling! Give it to me! Get those photos! You’re a star! You’re a star!”

Yes, show off your evil side! Oh, ha! Who am I kidding? All your sides are your evil sides! Hoho!

“Now, give us a silly one! No? No silly ones? Well, whatever. Oh, great picture! That’s a good one, too. Oh… sorry, sorry! Yes, that’s an evil picture. It was a mistake, dear, please don’t throw stuff at the judges. No, just put that dow-”

“What do you think of this participant, Aetheris?”

“I think we need to get this tacky twit out of here before he knocks out one of the contestants! A fine moustache, though. Expertly twirled, Natasia.”


Bah!! Those mortal fools must have been bind to not have seen The Great Nyehehe’s fiendish fashion sense!! Well, he knows what to do!! He’ll vow revenge for their impudence!! How dare they!?!

“Oh, pish posh! Those elftrash don’t know anything about fashion. Did you see what she was wearing? Pfft. How Silvermoon’s standards have fallen! And to think they were the fashion capital of the world!”

Fashion… capital… of the world, you say, mortal? Nyeh? Is that right?

“Oh? Have you never been to Silvermoon? Oh, well, it’s a wonderful place, and their boots are simply to die for! Oh, but with I suppose you unfortunately couldn’t visit in today’s current political scene, I suppose…. Oh! But what a city! Why, I remember when I was a younger Gnome, me and… *yada yada yda*”

Silvermoon, eh? Well, The Great Nyehehe will show them who’s!! They’ll rue the day they ever sowed a stupid scarf!! Bah!!

The bachelor(ette) Party

WARNING SMUT BELOW (My very first :p:p)
——————————————————————–

“Remind me again why he’s going to be there?” Caroline asked annoyed from the backseat as she pulled her little black dress over her hips. She had come straight from work and had had no time to change. It annoyed her.

“Because, he’s Elijah’s brother and best man. So he’s obligated to be there” Katherine explained from the driver’s seat looking back in the rear mirror.

“Right, remind me again why I have to be there?” Caroline continued her questioning putting her arms through the cap sleeves.

“Because Forbes, you’re my maid of honor and your fine looking ass is required at such occasions! It comes with the job” Katherine continued her explaining, starting to get annoyed at her best friend.

Caroline tried to turn around in the car letting her back face to Bonnie who was in the passenger’s seat. “Can you zip me up bon?” She asked in between her following questions. “And why are you having combined bachelor slash Bachelorette parties again?”

“Because, I do not trust Kol to not hire a stripper and i’ll be damned if some human slutbag is going to be prancing around my man in a thong” Katherine said already working herself up over the idea.

“Yeah she’d much rather be doing that herself” Bonnie joked as she zipped Caroline’s dress up

“You know out of all the Bennett witches i’ve been friends with, and trust me I’ve been friends with loads of them…you really are my least favorite Bon,” Katherine half joked giving her friend the evil look.

Caroline grunted under her breath as she redid her hair again looking into the little pocket mirror that came with her blush. She was very much dreading seeing Klaus again. She had hoped she would be able to avoid him till the wedding and then she would be to busy to actually talk with him. The two had not seen each other since their little adventure in the woods now over a decade ago. He had kept his promise to walk away and never come back. And she couldn’t blame him for being around now. It was his older brother’s wedding after all.

Over the years Katherine Bonnie and Caroline had become very close friends, finding out that when Katherine wasn’t hopelessly running for her life or trying to protect herself from an imminent death she was actually pretty fun to be around. And remarkable she was is anything a hard core friend. Once you had gotten passed that barrier of snarkiness and attitude she was loyal and she helped the two other girls let loose every now and then. It had also helped that Stefan and Damon hadn’t been around the last decade to mope over her and cause drama.

She had started seeing Elijah again shortly after he had left for New Orleans. Now that Klaus had officially pardoned her the two actually had a chance for their love and Elijah was a good influence on her. By the time they had been dating A year Elijah had proposed 3 times but it wasn’t until two years ago that Katherine had actually said yes to the original brother. She had taken two full years and an extreme amount of money to plan this wedding. Though it would be low in attendance because both of them really weren’t the friend making type it was going to be grand. And Katherina had asked both Bonnie and Caroline as her only real female friend to be her bridesmaids. Caroline had taken on the role of maid of honor and wedding planner. It was fun to basically not have a budget when planning. And all of it was going to go down tomorrow. Two days from now was the big day. Which meant tonight was the big night. Bachelorette party. And because apparently the youngest original brother could not be trusted with the organisation of it Caroline had found herself slipping into her tightest little black dress in the back of Katherine’s car driving up to New Orleans about to be face to face with Klaus Mikaelson for the first time since that day in the woods.

“Oh by the way Care, Stefan texted he and Rebekah are also coming” Bonnie said looking up from her phone.

“Noooooooo!” Caroline butted her head against the headrest of Katherine’s seat.

“Looks like you’re getting an ex fest tonight” Katherine chuckled as she made the turn onto the intersection.

“I’ll give you a million dollars if I don’t have to go!” Caroline sighed as she fixed her hair. She was glad she had curled it very tightly this morning so it fell in loose curls now.

“First of all, you don’t have that kind of money, second of all i’m marrying into the Original family in two days what the hell do I need money for?” Katherine

“You know what you need Care?” Bonnie smiled with a sparkle in her eye pulling her Ipod  from her handbag and plugging it into the car’s bluetooth system “Roadtrip music, tailored especially to our bride-to-be ”

As soon as the roaring guitars blasted through the speakers all three girls started laughing and jumping around in the car to Joan Jett’s bad reputation. Bonnie had put together the perfect playlist for the girls to rock out on, including songs like black velvet, Highway to hell , girls just wanna have fun and Sex on fire. By the time they arrived in New Orleans at the Mikaelson compound Caroline’s nerves had calmed down and the girls were singing along very loudly with Bon Jovi’s living on a prayer.

They were greeted at the door by Elijah who welcomed the girls kissing Katherine sweetly on the cheek. “Miss Bennett, Miss Forbes welcome” He smiled politely. “I trust your journey was pleasant?”

“ A little too pleasant …” Caroline said back very seriously before all three girls burst out in a fit of laughter.

“Do I want to know?” Elijah asked confused turning to Katherine who simply just nodded for no.

Inside the compound had been decorated for a sophisticated party the courtyard was lit with a million lights all hanging from different heights. A long table was standing at the edge that led to the garden holding hundreds of different bottles of liquor and a tray with martini glasses filled with a bright red cocktail that to Caroline smelled a lot like blood and vodka mixed together. There was music playing from the speakers that hung at every corner of the room. Caroline could make out Stefan and Rebekah standing in the back where Rebekah was fussing over some decorations. On the other end of the room Kol was standing at the table that held the presents picking at the wrapping paper obviously looking for something good. At the bar there was a dark man Caroline had never seen before, he had short black hair and was very muscled and charismatic, he was talking to a blonde woman in her thirties who she overhead that man call Cami. She had never seen the girl before either but from the stories Katherine had told her Caroline assumed them to be Marcel and Camille. A slight wave of dislike flooded through her body for the girl. That surprised her, she had known the woman had had a fling with Klaus but it had never worked out, though at the time she thought it to be fine she now felt a little jealousy towards the blonde woman. Even if she was obviously flirting with the man that was most likely Marcel. The only person she couldn’t see in the room was Klaus and with a relieved sigh she made her way to the present table putting her neatly wrapped square package on it.

“Well well well, if it isn’t my favorite blonde from Mystic Falls” Kol said overly happy when he noticed Caroline.

“Hello Kol” Caroline smiled back politely turning to him.

“So I heard your our fair Katherina’s maid of honor” Kol asked leaning against the table as he offered her a glass of the red cocktail. “Blood-Tini? Made them myself!”

Caroline held up her hand to refuse the drink glad she had fed earlier in the car. “Yes, I am”

“And no date to the wedding….” Kol sighed in mock shock placing his hands on his cheeks.

“Didn’t I hear you died?” Caroline asked slightly annoyed when kol pointed out she was here alone.

“Pish posh darling, all of us have died at least 3 times we always come back!” Kol waved the subject away with a swing of his hand. “Now the way I see it is a dateless maid of honor is entitled to have scandalous wedding sex.”

“Is that so?” Caroline faked her interest scanning the room for a certain someone else still.

“Yes and you have 3 options, first choice, the dateless best man and i’m sure Niklaus would LOVE too-” Kol started.

“Moving on Kol!” Caroline snapped at him.

“Ok second choice…the ex with a date, now if you chose this i’ll distract rebekah and you can just tie Stefan up in one of the guestrooms” Kol explained with far too much hand gestures.

Caroline started to suspect he had been drinking too much already.

“You’d help me steal your sister’s boyfriend?” Caroline asked surprised pointing to the Original sister.

“It’s been awhile since I messed with her” Kol shrugged his shoulders dismissing Caroline’s obvious surprise.

“Yeah I don’t think so” Caroline frowned.

“Well that leaves us with the third in final choice when all else fails…” Kol held his glass up too caroline.

“Then what?” Caroline asked starting to find the situation slightly humouring now.

“Your place or mine Forbes?” Kol winked looking far too serious.

“You have about 5 seconds before I tear out your liver brother” a low dark voice said from behind them.

Caroline took a deep breath before turning around. She could feel her stomach turn and her body shiver in response when she saw him. She hard forgotten how ridiculously hot he was. His hair was shorter that the last time she saw him. Cropped short on the sides and the top being slightly longer falling in those messy curls that were so much fun to run her hands through she remembered. His blue eyes sparkling with that naughty boyish charm he carried around with him. And those full lips that Caroline had almost forgotten the taste of.   

He was wearing a dark shirt that was unbuttoned only the top two buttons and dark pants, with a perfectly tailored grey costume jacket over it that made the look slightly more formal for the occasion. The way his clothes hung on him and his smell that filled the room almost intoxicated Caroline. It had been a while since she had been with a man and his presence shook her core around the entire room with excitement. Still she had to control herself.

“Right if you two are going to eye fuck each other all night I’m going to go, I see a Bennett witch that is in need of my flirting anyways” Kol said awkwardly before leaving the two of them.

“Hello Caroline” Klaus whispered seductively closing in on her entering her personal bubble.

“Klaus” Caroline said having to swallow as he came closer her voice slightly cracking as her mouth became dry.

“You look ravishing” Klaus continued checking her from bottom to toe in that very tight black dress.  

Caroline shook her head trying to snap out of it. “Yeah well don’t get any idea’s” She sassed at him turning her back to walk away.

In a second he was in front of her again using his vampire speed to stop her. “ Come on now love, don’t be like that it’s a wedding after all…lots of stuff happens at weddings” he smirked his eyebrows going up and down.

His hand slowly caressing a stray curl behind her ear. His hand lingered on her cheek just for a second. Caroline felt her knees go weak as he touched her. The memory of when he had last touched her coursing through body straight to between her legs.

“Listen you, I’m here solely for my best friend, so you do your job as best man, i’ll do mine and we don’t even need to be around each other so back off” Caroline scolded him poking him in his chest with her finger her face red from being so flustered by him.

She turned around and made her way  to the liquor table hearing Klaus chuckle behind her.

As the party progressed the music became louder. Caroline had spend half the night  drinking A LOT and dancing with Bonnie who was obviously avoiding Kol. Though Klaus hadn’t bothered of even talked to her again the rest of the night she could feel his eyes burning on her the entire time and as much as she tried to ignore it or lose herself in her dancing she couldn’t shake the effect he had on her.

She had only had one more awkward moment when Stefan had come to talk to her. Though they had ended their short lived relationship during the period they both had their humanities off on good terms she hadn’t really spoken to him since Katherine had informed her had rekindled his romance with Rebekah. And Stefan wouldn’t be Stefan if he didn’t come talk and apologize excessively to Caroline for it, explained exactly what and why it happened. Honestly by the time he had the courage to actually talk to her she was to drunk to pretend she was interested and very happy when a jealous Rebekah came to pluck away her boyfriend from Caroline.

She had spend the next hour or so trying to engage in a conversation with Marcel and Camille. She had liked Marcel just fine finding him likeable and funny. However she couldn’t bring herself to like Camille to no fault of the girl. She just kept thinking about her draping herself over Klaus and resisting the urge to maybe accidentally trip her. She was glad when around 3AM the girl claimed to be tired and wanted to go home.

The party seemed to die down a little when people started to leave one by one. Some of Elijah’s friends, Marcel and Camille and even Rebekah and Stefan had called it a night. In the end it was Her, Katherine, Bonnie, Elijah, Kol and Klaus that were left cleaning up the empty bottles.

It was then that Kol suggested the worst possible idea ever.

“WHO WANTS TO PLAY STRIPPOKER!!!” He screamed standing from a table.

“Oh god no!” Bonnie sighed annoyed burying her head in her hands.

“Kol would you get down from there” Elijah said trying to pull Kol down from the table.

“Oh for heaven’s sake ‘Lijah, you didn’t let me hire a stripper, you didn’t let me have topless dancers in cages, It’s your Bachelor party, I wanna see some boobies!!” Kol whined!

“Nobody is interested in playing Strip poker with you Kol” Elijah sighed annoyed.

“I’ll play” Katherine smirked taking a chair and setting herself at the table.

“Marvelous!” Kol smiled jumping off the table and grabbing a bottle. “Oi Bonnie-lass we’re playing strip poker get your fanny at the table”  The man was obviously drunk beyond repair.

Bonnie just shrugged and placed herself at the table.

“I will definitely not be engaging in this” Elijah stated sternly.

“Hey you are playing, if i’m not seeing some original dick tonight you’re not getting any either!” Katherine said swaying her glass back and forth.

“I’ll go get the cards” Elijah muttered leaving the room.

“How about you Forbes?” Katherine asked Caroline who was getting more and more frustrated by the way Klaus was looking at her.

He was daring her.

“Sure” Caroline said giving Klaus a cocky look feeling very good about herself when she was the surprised look on his face.

“Nik?” Kol asked looking at his older brother with puppy eyes.

“Absolutely not!” Klaus grinned emptying his glass. “I will not degrade myself to something as futile as strip poker thank you”

“Why?” Caroline asked giving him an arrogant smirk. “You chicken?”

“Ooooooh” The rest of the party whispered in anticipation to Klaus’ response.

Klaus looked Caroline back in her eyes glaring into them for dominance, before he took a place on the table. “Deal the damn cards Kol” He said never letting go of her gaze.

Looking back Caroline could pinpoint the moment it had all gone wrong. She had been drinking far too much and her inhibitions had been severely lowered. Nevertheless she was playing a pretty good game if you compared her to the others. Only Elijah had managed to only take off his shoes and socks which was funny enough as it was. Bonnie was next who had kept her shirt on but lost her pants leaving her in her underpants. Klaus had been reduced to sitting topless and shoeless but keeping his pants on. Katherine was sitting in her underwear which Caroline suspected she may have lost a few rounds on purpose just to mess with Elijah and finally Kol had been reduced to wearing a sock around his private parts which everybody wondered why he had had a sock on in the first place.

Caroline had a good hand on her but she had to play smart, subtly raising the pot as high as she could. She could feel Klaus eying her and she bit her lip seductively hoping to get a reaction out of him. She would consider it a personal victory if she got him out of his pants during this game.

At the turn her cards were becoming better and better. Elijah and Bonnie had already folded, if she wanted to win this one now she had to go big.

“Raise” Caroline said trying to keep a straight face as she put chips in the pot.

“I fold” Katherine said throwing her hand out on the table.

Both Klaus and Kol had called her thinking she was bluffing. Perfect, she had them right where she wanted them.

As the fourth and fifth card fell Caroline could hardly contain her grin. She had a full house in her hand her best hand of the night so far.

“All in” She said wiggling her eyebrows up and down.

Kol threw his hand at the table. “Nope not worth losing the sock over” he sighed.

“How about you?” Caroline dared klaus.

“Alright sweetheart i’ll play” Klaus grinned back putting all his chips on the table.”What you got”

“Are we in the woods? because you my friend are about to lose your pants! Full house! Read em and weep, unbuckle that belt mister…or would you like me to do it for you?” Caroline said the alcohol loosening her tongue.

The table had gone silent, even though most of them were also drunk off their asses they were shocked at the way Caroline was heckling klaus and still he took it with a smile. Caroline was gloating over her victory when Klaus chuckled.

“Not so fast love” He smiled laying down his cards revealing 4 sixes. “Four of a kind tops full house”

Caroline’s mouth fell open in shock she was so sure she had him.

“I do believe it’s time for you to take that dress off now….Or would you like me to do it for you?” Klaus said smugly repeating her words.

The rest of the party oooohed again as Klaus heckled Caroline right back. The blonde however refused to give in to his teasing.

“Fine” She said smugly standing up from her chair “Kol could you unzip me please?”

“With pleasure!” Kol jumped up from his chairs pulling the zipper of Caroline’s dress down a little too harshly.

Caroline pulled the shoulders of her dress down shimmied slightly until it full on the floor revealing her black lace bra and matching panties. Klaus could feel an upcoming erection stir in his pants as he gawked at his blonde godess. And looking back that had been the moment things had taken a turn for the worse.

The gang had ended up drinking so much that by the time Kol had finally lost his sock and was forced to walk away completely naked they had given up on the game all together. Klaus had just put his shirt back on letting it hang over his body unbuttoned. He watched as Caroline pulled her dress back up struggling with the zipper. In a flash he was standing behind her placing on of his hands on her hip and zipping up her dress with the other. His face was so close in her neck it was causing goosebumps to appear all over her body this had been the moment she wanted to avoid.

“I loved you in the dress sweetheart but seeing you just now I loved you even more out of it” He whispered seductively into her ear.

Caroline could feel her knees buckle at the sound of his voice. She prayed for somebody to come and save her from the situation but Bonnie was long gone and Katherine seemed preoccupied with licking Elijah’s face. She had to face him on her own now.

“Let’s get one thing straight here buddy …..nothing is going to happen ok” She turned around facing him as she poked his chest with her finger.”I’m over it so back off”

“Are you Caroline?” Klaus said closing the gap between them again making her step into the wall behind her. He put his hand on the wall leaning into her enjoying the flustered blush that was forming on her face. “Because I can feel your knees buckle sweetheart, I can hear your heart racing, I’ve been watching you all night and I know you enjoyed it. You’ve been teasing me daring me to make my move on you. You want me to chase you!” Klaus whispered into her ear letting his lips rest just below her ears.

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about” Caroline stuttered trying to stay focused but her alcohol intake and her blood boiling in her loins for him didn’t help.

“You’re a horrible liar Caroline, I can smell your arousal on you” Klaus whispered letting a hand dwell over her thighs.

His touch made Caroline nearly orgasm right there on the spot. It really had been too long for her. With her last bit of strength she got out from under his hold on her and walked away muttering that she had to go now.

Klaus chuckled, it was so easy to make her uncomfortable, he decided not to go after her. He had fun chasing her, the hunt was half the fun of their relationship and he had a whole wedding reception later this week to drive her insane with lust for him. The compound had emptied during their little conversation and Klaus found his way to his bedroom, he was drunk and the best thing to do was sleep it off and start with a fresh head tomorrow.

Once in his bedroom Klaus took off his clothes and made way for the shower hoping the water would sober him up a bit. He turned on the water letting soak him completely. His erection had not yet fully disappeared yet. The memory of Caroline in that tiny black lace bra and underwear was enough to arouse any man who laid eyes upon her. But he would make sure that he was the only one to take her out of those as well. Her remembered their day in the woods. The way he had made her moan and scream under his touch. He had always taken pride in his skills as a lover but never before had he wanted to make a woman squirm so much as her. He wanted her to scream his name, he wanted her to be his and in return he wanted to be hers as well. He pictured sucking on her nipples and kissing his way down. Remembered her taste and how she would suck in the air around her as he touched every sensitive spot.

A loud and obnoxious knocking on the door woke him from his memory. Klaus grabbed a towel drying his hair only slightly and then wrapping it around his waist. Who dared disturb him at this time of the night. With a little too much strength he pulled open the  door ready to scold this very rude person when he noticed Caroline standing in the frame leaning against it and a bottle in her hand.

“You’re such an asshole!” She said a little too loud.

“Excuse me love?” Klaus chuckled tilting his head a little bit as he looked at her. She was obviously very drunk right now.

“I was perfectly happy! I was fine having a mediocre sexlife and then you come along and you say all those things about me and you start touching me and making me so horny and you can’t do that ok! You are not allowed to do that!!” She put the bottle on the little table next to the door.

“Well I’m sorry for turning you on so much.” Klaus laughed giving her a signature boyish grin showing off his dimples.

“Well you should be, cause all I can think about now is how much I wanna fuck your brains out…so let’s go.” Caroline barked at him as she grabbed his hand and walked into his room.

“I’m sorry?” Klaus suddenly asked a little confused as she walked into his room.

“We are going to have sex Klaus Mikaelson, we both know it’s going to happen this weekend so we might as well get it over with.” She explained.

“As you wish love.” Klaus said in a seductive voice, pinning her against his wall before crashing his lips onto her.

Caroline felt the wind being knocked out of her as soon as he pushed her against the wall. His lips being pressed against hers. His tongue was fighting for entrance into her mouth as his hands were holding hers up by the wrist. She moaned into his mouth, her body shivering under his touch she had so sorely craved the entire evening.

He was taking full control over her and she loved it.

Klaus lowered one of his hands keeping the other one gripping tightly on her wrist and let it roam her body starting at her hips before slowly, nearly teasingly running it up her stomach to cup one of her breasts. The desperate sighs puffing hotly from her lips only egged him on more. He moved his kisses from her lips to her neck sucking lightly on the piece of skin just under her ear where he remembered she was the most sensitive. He could feel her shivering as he ran a thumb over her nipple through the fabric of her dress. That dress needed to come off… NOW!

He released her from his grip only to pull her closer into his body his hands dwelling over her back in search of the zipper of her dress as he focused his attention on her lips again kissing her and sucking on her lower lip. In one swift movement the zipper was down and he pulled her dress off, revealing that ridiculously sexy bra that held her breasts. Placing his hands firmly on her hips, he lifted her up from the ground as she wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck.

Caroline let her hands dwell from his neck over his hairline into the back of his head tugging at his curl, forcing his head back to run the tip of her tongue slowly up his neck and placing hot wet kisses back down. She could feel him lifting her up against the wall of his bedroom again. The towel that had been draped around his lean waist had fallen to the ground from his hips bucking against her, letting her feel his erection against her abdomen pressing hard.

Klaus used his free hands to caress up her sides, pulling the cups of her bra down revealing her voluptuous breasts. He placed his lips around her pebbled nipple letting his tongue twirl around it as her grasp on his head tightened as she moaned in pleasure. The fact that she was already whimpering his name and he hadn’t even started yet caused a smirk to grow on his lips. As his tongue focussed its attention on her other nipple he let his hands roam over her back again unhooking her bra before tossing it to the side of the room. He stumbled the both of them across the room still carrying her around his hips before the both of them fell on the bed he fell on top of her their lips meeting again kissing eagerly sharing hot feverish kisses as his hand roamed downwards, the tips of his fingers exploring the edge of her lace panties.

Caroline arched her back purposely forcing his hand further down her underwear aching for the pleasure he was going to bring her. She could feel him grin at her eagerness into the kiss, her hands in the back of his neck fighting for dominance over the kiss. As Klaus let his fingers run slowly over the slit of her core she gasped pressing her nails into his back hard, leaving red scratch marks.

“Klaus don’t tease!” She moaned into his ear nearly begging him to touch her more.

He chuckled again, loving the idea of her being completely at his mercy, before his thumb stopped around her sensitive nub, pressing it ever so slightly.

Caroline let out a held back “Aaah!” her hips bucking wildly against his hand as he rubbed her slowly kissing her neck, working his way to her shoulders and collarbone. He kissed her chest slowly, one kiss every inch or so down excruciatingly slow just above and under her belly button. Caroline had her hands in his hair again forcing him down on her faster.

He could smell her arousal and felt very anxious to taste her again. When he had finally reached his destination it took only a second before his lips only barely parted from her, letting his hot breath caress her center before letting his tongue explore her.

Caroline nearly screamed when she felt his tongue on her, her body was tensing already close to orgasm from his teasing. She needed him now even more then she had ever before. She could feel his tongue enter her as his fingers still worked her nub now more eagerly, her body spasming underneath him. She was close.

“Klaus I’m gonna-AAAH” She didn’t even get the time to finish her sentence as her orgasm took over. Her body shaking from its release she shot up from the bed before crashing back down letting out a deep sigh of contentment.

Klaus didn’t give her a moment to recover as soon as her body arched he placed himself in front of her thrusting himself into her core in one smooth and rather harsh movement. She let out a surprised gasp only for a second before crashing her lips back onto his as he thrusted inside of her slowly, agonisingly. She bit his lip hard drawing his blood only slightly and sucking it. Releasing him, the veins under her eyes darkened and she let out a growling hiss of lust and passion turning the both of them around and pressing him into the bed so she was on top of him.

Caroline moved her body so she was riding him now her hands placed firmly on his chest. His hands lingering on her ass squeezing it hard and meeting her movements with his hips. Klaus moaned loudly, he hadn’t forgotten what it was like with her but the memory didn’t do the actual experience justice. As she picked up her pace riding him faster he sat up moving his hands from her ass to her back slowly keeping her into place. She threw her lips in his neck again kissing and nibbling on it as he rocked them back and forth.

She moaned loudly as he started hitting the little sweet spot inside of her over and over again not giving her a second to recover herself. She was lost in pure passion and pleasure, she started to bite into his neck harder. She craved more of him. She kissed him again before looking into his eyes asking for permission. WIthout a word he understood what she wanted and gave her a slight nod. The dark veins emerged under her eyes again, her fangs popping out. With another low groan she threw her head into his neck piercing his skin to revel in the sweet taste of his blood.

As soon as she bit him Klaus felt his body tense into hers. He cried out her name and when she released him he looked at her gorgeous face his blood now dripping from mouth in a single drop. He kissed her again and he could feel her walls clenching. She was close to her second orgasm. He let his tongue swirl over her neck as she moaned and begged for more. Until finally the familiar spasming of her body announced her second orgasm. As soon as she tightened around him he was taken over by his own orgasm, releasing himself inside of her. He trusted inside of her a few more times before the both of them fell back on the bed panting heavily not saying a word.

After a few minutes the both of them seemed to have catched their breaths and Klaus broke the silence.

“Did that quench your lust sweetheart?” He grinned looking at her with a wicked smile.

“That was brilliant” She smiled placing a soft kiss on his lips.

Finally the exhaustion of her drunk fueled mind took over and she felt herself fall into a deep comfortable sleep.

When Caroline woke up the next morning she could feel her head throbbing with an obvious hangover. She took a second to take in her surroundings not recognising the room she was in before she realised a strong muscled arm around her waist. Her head snugly resting upon the chest of Klaus Mikaelson. The memories of last night flooding back to her. She mouthed a soundless fuck as she remembered her actions of the last night she had so promised herself this wasn’t going to happen. But man had it been good. However she did not want to deal with the obvious consequences when he woke up. She had finally gotten to a state where she had pushed the memory of him to the background and didn’t want to open that can of worms again. So as silently as she could she wiggled out from under his embrace and got dressed.

With her heels in her hands she made her way to the door preparing herself for her walk of shame, hoping and praying he wouldn’t wake up before she had left. Slowly she turned the doorknob and opened the door walking out on the tip of her toes. She let out a relieved sigh when she closed the door behind her thinking she had averted morning after awkwardness.

“Caroline?” A voice behind her asked in shock.

Panic overcame her as she turned around to face the voice that called out to her.

“Bonnie?” She asked as she noticed her best friend walking out of the room little down the hall also holding her shoes in her hand.

“What are you doing walking out of Klaus’ room?” She asked the blond.

“I erhm… I was…. Wait….what are you doing walking out of Kol’s room?” Caroline suddenly realised both girls were basically doing the same thing.

“I erhm…I was…..” The girl stuttered realising that if she caught her friend she had also been caught herself. “I won’t tell if you won’t” She finally opted.

“Deal!” Caroline mouthed as both girls walked out of the compound in silence.

FF: Link https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12395780/3/The-realisation-Caroline-Forbes

One day, one rhyme- Day 1180

“There are no unimportant meals.
Ere you fly off, head over heels,
Before you make a right good fuss
Have a listen, the facts are thus:
Each meals an opportunity
To taste a great delicacy
And if you choose not to partake
In quaint tea or dessertly cake;
If you choose the hors d'oeuvres to skip;
To pass on cookies of choc-chip;
To ignore boiled or scrambled eggs;
To turn your nose up at frogs legs;
To pish and posh at sandwich plates;
To shoo the nuts and wave off dates;
Decry the good ol’ barbecue
As something only ‘others’ do;
Shake off the stews, poohpooh hot pots;
Damn the loaves and rolls shaped like knots;
Shun the soup, disparage the cheese;
If you do any of these, please
March back out that door on your feet!”:
Jim’s Nan, when told what he won’t eat.

potterlockianegalitarian928  asked:

Regency: Sherlock is thrilled to be working with Dr. M. Hooper, a pathologist whose essays have made Sherlock a fan of their work. When Sherlock meets Dr. Hooper, he is both surprised and impressed that Dr. Hooper is a young woman. When he sees that she's as kind as she intelligent, he falls and falls hard for her.

The Science of Courtships Part 1 (there will be 2 parts to this prompt!)

thanks to @strangelock221b for beta reading! :)


Sherlock Holmes was on a rather large case concerning one ‘Jack the Ripper’ and was rather thrilled to be working with Doctor M. Hooper on it. He had been a longtime admirer of the doctor’s essays submitted to the various medical journals he read. Oh, it felt like Christmas to him.

“Ah, Mr. Holmes,” Mike Stamford greeted him. “Dr. Hooper has been waiting for you in the mortuary.”

“Thank you,” Sherlock nodded, venturing into the morgue. He looked around the formaldehyde scented room when his cerulean eyes landed upon a young woman.

“Mister Holmes, I presume. I was told we would be working together and—” Doctor Hooper turned to face the most handsome and distinguished man she had ever seen. She did her best to keep her heart beat under control.

“Doctor…Hooper?” he asked with uncertainty.

“Y-yes sir, that would be correct,” Doctor Hooper confirmed, dropping her scalpel. Sherlock bent down to retrieve it for her.

“I must say, I am quite impressed that a young woman such as yourself has such intriguing insight of the medical field,” Sherlock stated. “It is a pleasure to meet you, Doctor Hooper, as I have been a longtime admirer of your work.” He glanced at her hand quickly before meeting her eyes once more. “May I?” She nodded and he took her hand, placing a soft kiss on the back of it.

“I am glad to know you are not disappointed to find me to be a woman, Mr. Holmes,” Doctor Hooper remarked.

“Disappointed? No,” Sherlock told her. “If anything, I admire you all the more, Doctor Hooper.” She gave him a small smile.

“Thank you, Mister Holmes,” she nodded.

“Sherlock, please,” he said.

“Mister Holmes, we have hardly been acquainted,” Doctor Hooper pointed out. “We have already broken one societal rule; are you sure you want to break another?”

“I am quite sure, actually. You will learn that I am not one to follow societal normalities,” Sherlock informed her. “Of course, we will only keep it between ourselves but if you are not comfortable with the use of first names, I will cease my insistence upon it. I apologize, Doctor Hooper, if I have been intolerable.”

“It is quite alright, Mr. Holmes. Sherlock,” she replied, testing his name on her tongue. “Margaret is my name, but I prefer Molly.”

“Molly,” he repeated. “I quite like the sound of that, Molly Hooper.” A faint blush rose upon her cheeks. His rich baritone voice spoke her name as if it contained only the best letters of the alphabet.

“Yes, well, now that we have that out of the way, care to examine this cadaver with me?” Molly asked.

“Delighted,” Sherlock replied.

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Meet the Parents

You couldn’t get your mind off of Sam no matter how much you tried. You spent your time helping your grandmother, and looking through everything you’d put in storage for kids. This way, you could put some in the trunk to bring over now and then. The kids had given you a pretty good idea of what they both liked, so it was really easy.

Before you knew it, you were getting ready for the cookout at Sam’s. You were nervous to say the least. Jess clearly didn’t like you, and you were worried that no one else would. Your grandmother was excited to meet Dean, and wouldn’t stop asking about him. Finally, you told her that if she didn’t stop, you’d keep him to yourself.

You’d chosen a light blue sundress and tan wedges for that day, as the sky was blue, and the sun was bright. You were hoping that the nice weather helped ease your nerves. If things got too bad with Jess, you would politely excuse yourself. It would be rude, and disrespectful to make his family uncomfortable.

Wanting to stop and get something to bring, you left a bit earlier. Sunday traffic was usually pretty bad, and you didn’t want to have to call and tell him you were stuck in traffic! You stopped at the bakery, picking up the order that you had called in on Friday, you already knew that three of the Winchesters liked chocolate cupcakes. You just hoped that the rest of the family did, too.

Pulling in front of Sam’s house, you noticed Sam’s SUV, a pickup truck, and a nice old school Impala in the drive. You looked over at your grandmother. “Grandma, I need to ask you for a favor.”

“Of course, darlin’, what do you need?” she asked.

“Please behave, today. Please?” you all but begged.

“Pish posh! I’m always good, darlin’,” she winked at you. Inwardly you sighed and resigned yourself to the fact that whatever happened, happened.

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