pish posh

anonymous asked:

Hey, I've considered HRT and stuff, but I fear that's girls wouldn't date me of I was a girl with a penis (I don't want to go through reassignment surgery). What's your experience and or advice with that?

oh pish posh! To be honest, my dating life has never been better. I’ve never been flirted with by so many girls in my life! Yeah dating cis people might become a bit more complicated but there are still so many girls out there who are willing to date trans women and see us just like any other girl, despite our genitalia. Also there are a hell of a lot of fucking adorable trans women out there who would make great girlfriends!!

like/reblog this if you are a girl who would date a trans girl!

Christmas Prompt #4 – Isaac Lahey

Requested by @lildoog

Pairing: Isaac Lahey x Reader
Word count: 353
Warnings: Drunk reader.

1. “Is that a mistletoe?”
11. “You can’t put alcohol in hot chocolate!”

The pack had decide to enter the Christmas-fair in town and you felt yourself freezing while pacing around the market stalls. Isaac was on his way with some hot chocolate for you. 

He held the cup in front of you as he pour liquor from a tiny bottle into it. ”You can’t put alcohol in hot chocolate!” you exclaim as you grab the tiny bottle of liquor from Isaac’s hands. He smirks smugly while taking it back to screw on the cap. ”Pish, posh Y/N. It will only get you a little warmer than usual.” Isaac snorts and hands you the cup.

You look suspiciously down at the drink, not knowing if you wanted to drink Isaac’s witch-brew. You wrinkle your nose before taking a zip. Unfortunately, the drink ended up tasting chocolaty-delicious and soon you felt yourself getting warm, cosy and a tad tipsy.

Lydia had dragged you around all the different market stalls and your intoxicated mind thought it would be hilarious to buy a Christmas-decoration for Isaac. You smilingly run towards Isaac with a new-bought mistletoe dangling from your hand.

”Is that a mistletoe?” Isaac ask with raised eyebrows as you wave it in front of his face. ”Yes it iiiiis!” you squeal with joy and put it above your head while leaning in. ”Now you have to kiss me, pretty boy.” you whisper with a giggle. Isaac grabs the mistletoe from your hands and scoffs. ”Y/N, you’re indeed a lovely drunk, but I think it’s time we get home.”

”Noooo, you have to kiss me first. You know the rules!” you nag as you try to reach the mistletoe from him but he tease you by lifting it even higher. ”Come on!” your whine making Isaac surrender.

”Okay, fine. If I kiss you - Would you let me take you home?” he ask sweetly and you quirk your lips into a smile before crossing your arms over your chest. ”Well Isaaac, you naughty boooy. No gifts for youuu, I’ll tell santa you’ve been a baaad boy.” you say when Isaac grabs your arm and drags you towards the car.

Thank you for reading! ♥
Credit to gif owner.

Trying One's Patience
  • Senator B: ...and the private sector are two different things my dear Senator Amidala.
  • Padmé: *concealing her irritation* yes, as I was informing you about YOUR superfluous usage of the public trust fund for-
  • Senator B: Oh, dear me. Must we talk about pleasantry now, my dear?
  • Padmé: *trying to conceal her annoyance* of course. What should we converse about then?
  • Senator B: How about hot tall and gorgeous?
  • Padmé: I beg your pardon?
  • Senator B: Over there. *she purrs* I won’t mind having young sweet meat like him warming my bed tonight. What do you say my dear, should I pursue this desire of mine? *winks*
  • Padmé: *she felt cold in her stomach* unfortunately for you, MY DEAR, he’s a Jedi. Attachment is without question FORBIDDEN to them. *flat tone, not bothering to hide her death glare*
  • Senator B: Oh, pish posh! One night of sizzling passion is hardly what anyone would call “attachment” my dear.
  • Padmé: Anak- I mean General Skywalker isn’t one-night stand kind of guy.
  • Senator B: Ooh, but he should. And you know what; I will be the one to persuade him. *smirks*
  • Padmé: *murder level: 96%*
  • Senator B: *she goes to flirt with Anakin*
  • Padmé: *murder level: 98%*
  • Senator B: *she attaches herself to him shamelessly*
  • Padmé: *murder level: 99%*
  • Senator B: *he tries to get her off of him gently but she won’t budge aND SHE STEALS A KISS*
  • Padmé: *murder level: 100%* WHORE STAY AWAY FROM MY HUSBAND!!!

Last installment of the Pizza Crust Saga.

Peeps can push and prod and persuade all they like, but if only they knew I’m allergic to garlic and lactose intolerant so I have calculated and evaluated and analysed all the elements involved with pizza consumption. I am familiar with the effects of pizza. I Know pizza.

Crusts are literally the safest part of the pizza I can eat, and yet I leave them behind in favour of suffering and pain. 

And they say that not eating the crusts makes you a coward. PISH-POSH!

9

namjoon, jackson, yoongi - boyfriend au
-

a/n: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAJ DARLIN (@angelvirgo)
i hope you have the bestestestest 17th birthday bc i know it’s scary as shit nearing adulthood but remember age is a state of mind and we both know we’re still kiddos at heart. amirite? ahaha anywayyyyy, thank you for being the most wonderful human to me. you’re a beautiful, intelligent, and hilarious chickadee and i’m glad we got to know each other. we’re practically twins. except y'know height. but pish posh to those are minor details! you’re the moni to my mini 😉 and bless the fact that we have headcanons for dayzzzz. bless your soul and our friendship cuz i hope i’ll have the privilege of continuing to know you.
thank you for existing babycakes 😚 (and happy happy haaaapppyyyyy birthday!!!!)

6

Sir Hammerlock: Bad news, Vault Hunter. I tried to feed one – I’ve named him Terry – but it turns out he’s acquired a taste for Pandoran flesh! I do hope I haven’t disrupted the delicate ecosystem of Pandora by introducing a new species… Ah, pish-posh! At least they’re tiny buggers!

  • James: Do you desire a crispened potato?
  • Remus: Oh, don't mind if I do, Jam- wait a minute. Crispened potato. Why are you fancy talking?
  • James: How dare you, sir. I speak the common tongue.
  • Remus: There it is again. You only do that when you're lying or hiding something.
  • James: Hiding? Ha. Pish-posh.

happylilprompts  asked:

"I hope you found your optimism along the way, because I'm kinda sick of you Captain 'We'reGonnaDie'."

Captain We’re Gonna Die

Scorpio: How the hell did I let you convince me to do this?
Libra: Oh, you wanted to do it deep down. How should I have known it’d put us in this predicament?
Scorpio: THERE WAS A WARNING ON THE SIGN AS WE WALKED IN!
Libra: Shhh they’ll hear you!
Scorpio: Pish posh, let them hear me! I DON’T CARE.
Libra: You’re being awfully obstinate today.
Scorpio: You convince me to do this foolish shit and you expect me not to be obstinate? Wow, you really don’t know me.
Libra: I guess I don’t.
Scorpio: As soon as we get out of here, our friendship is over.
Libra: Oh, does that mean you finally are optimistic enough to realize we’re going to get out of here?
Scorpio: No, we’re totally going to die.
Capricorn: Shut up, you two or they’ll hear us.
Libra: You know, I really hope you find your optimism along the way, because I’m kinda sick of you, Captain ‘We’re gonna die.’
Scorpio: Tough shit.
Capricorn: Shut up you two! Are you two incapable of shutting your mouths?
Scorpio & Libra: No. Tell her/him
Capricorn: I believe I just did.
Scorpio: How are we going to get out of here?
Capricorn: We aren’t if you keep talking. Now shut up and let me think.
Libra (muttering): Sheesh, crabby patty.
Scorpio: Seriously.
Capricorn: Sh!

  • Poisonny: That’s it. Fumble about with your widgets and do-bobs. It will be a monument to futility when my plan comes to fruition.
  • Kiriya: Nee-san…(sighs), what I’m about to say violates every sycophantic urge in my body, but I wish you would reconsider. This isn’t a whole Garden of Rainbow human beings you’re battling with: it’s a school. People won’t stand for it.
  • Poisonny: Pish posh, it will be like taking candy from a baby. Say that sounds like a larf. Let’s try it right now.
  • Kiriya: Er, um…there’s some candy right here, Nee-san. (points to a box) Why don’t we eat this instead of stealing?
  • Poisonny: Oh, very well. (opens the box and starts eating with Kiriya)
  • Kiriya: Now look, there’s a photo in here.
  • Poisonny: Ah, yes. I believe that’s the blue-haired girl Honoka, the top-class student. Oh, and that golden-colored mutt, her guard dog. Oh, and um…that’s…uh…the two beings from Garden of Light. They were my heirs for a brief period, you know?
  • Kiriya: Yes, I remember (later, the siblings both look ill)
  • Poisonny: Anything left?
  • Kiriya: Uh…only the sour quince long, Nee-san. (the log covers Nagisa’s face)
  • Poisonny: Eww, dispose of it! And, uh…send a thank you note to those friends of Pretty Cure.

we killed the biggest roach earlier. i can’t explain the size of this animal to you. i could tell you to imagine the biggest roach you’ve ever seen, i could show you a picture of a big roach, one of those hissing ones people keep as pets, this thing was bigger. it didn’t hiss, it whispered the names of people i care about. this thing did not belong in new york. it was a mistake, an anomaly. it was a monster forgotten on earth by a god who wanted to take me down a peg. i’ll be real, i heard new york had roaches and i said pish posh! “i’m from florida!” i’d say, “i know what tropical roaches look like! roaches that don’t have to fight to live, roaches that just chill in palm trees all day! roaches supersized by oxygen rich environments!” i’d see little roaches here and there and roll my eyes at every new york horror story i’d ever heard. i was being punished for my arrogance.

this thing, man. it’s common knowledge that after a bout of heavy rain or strange weather some animals get displaced and end up in places where they normally wouldn’t venture. like in winter when a mouse ends up in your basement, or when nuclear bombs awaken godzilla and he destroys a city. this was like the latter, this is the ancient mutant hell i’m talking about. 

the worst part was it being in the bathroom. like, nowhere is safe, eh? the bathroom? where i’m arguably most vulnerable? what’s next, my bed? i’ve had bedbugs too, so check! what’s left? some kind of thing where i am the bug? the bug is what i see when i look at a loved one? bugs appear in the backgrounds of old photos i’m in? i’ll be real, i have an unhealthy and specific fear of coming into contact with a bug while peeing. i give every bathroom i walk into a quick search just out of habit. and that’s why this was so fucked up. i walk in after getting home from work, glance in the tub at the mark that i always think is a bug, but isn’t, then, hey, while i’m indulging my dumb little paranoid quirk why don’t i glance up at THE BIGGEST ROACH I HAVE EVER SEEN. like, way to confirm every fear i’ve ever had in my life. remind yourself here, you aren’t picturing a big enough roach. i know! but it was bigger! i sensed it before i even saw it, my body got all cold and i could see my breath like a ghost was passing through. i ran out of the bathroom in my boxers and closed the door and i swear if i had been home alone i would have just left. like i would have abandoned everything. goodbye girlfriend, goodbye life, forget about all my papers and money and things, i’ll find a new identity untouched by the devil’s antennae. 

anyways how did we kill it. we sprayed it with the beautiful elixir of death that is raid. it fell into the bathroom trashcan, we sprayed the bag, closed it up, put that into another bag, closed that, and then put that bag outside in the building’s hallway. i always see my neighbors leaving their garbage out in the hall and i’m like, “why? why do that?” and it’s clearly to distance yourself from the corpse of the insect king. i half expect to open the door tomorrow and see the bag ripped open, just a trail of poison leading to an open window. it was bigger than you’re picturing it. 

coming out atheist
  • theist: *says/asks something religious*
  • me: oh actually im an atheist
  • theist: you can't be you have to believe in something
  • me: I do not believe in the claims that there is a god, gods, the supernatural, or a spiritual realm. I'm an atheist
  • theist: pish posh apple sauce you don't know what you're saying you believe, you're just not religious but you believe I know you do don't worry I get it
  • me: ...no you don't because im an atheist
  • theist: stop saying that word you aren't an atheist
  • me:
  • theist:
  • me:
  • theist:
  • me: athe-
  • theist: sTooOoOOOoP!!¡¡¡¡!¡!¡