the signs as essential school supplies
  • aries:large textbooks. to smack stupid hoes with
  • taurus:fuckboy repellent spray
  • gemini:phone + charger
  • cancer:those 64 pack crayons with the built in sharpener. those bitches with the 12 pack wanna be you
  • leo:a box of kleenex for u to wipe away ur tears. ur gonna need it
  • virgo:pain relievers for those killer headaches u will inevitably get
  • libra:colorful pens. not that basic blue and black shit
  • scorpio:a shopping cart full of gum
  • sagittarius:a water bottle filled with vodka
  • capricorn:a scissor so u can cut bitches
  • aquarius:earbuds, u can't go to school without them
  • pisces:a pillow for nap time
The Signs Around People They Dislike
  • Aries:has some witty sarcastic remark to follow everything they say
  • Taurus:flat out ignores them, and doesn't give a shit if they notice either
  • Gemini:will probably play nice, then verbally slaughter them when they're out of sight
  • Cancer:acts normally, doesn't even really care enough to pay any mind to them
  • Leo:makes sure they talk REALLY loudly so that the person they hate can envy how interesting and articulate they are
  • Virgo:gets a bit uncomfortable, and avoids conversation with the person if possible
  • Libra:might try to converse with them to see if they can see where they are coming from, otherwise, expect nasty yet obvious "indirect" side comments
  • Scorpio:most likely to get up and leave
  • Sagittarius:will probably make nasty comments, but won't let the individual's presence affect them too much
  • Capricorn:a shit ton of eye rolling and dirty looks but usually nothing more
  • Aquarius:most likely to call them out right then and there if provoked
  • Pisces:will appear more nervous than aggravated, and politely move away from them
The signs as teachers

Sassy teacher that gets annoyed by everyone: Scorpio, Aries, Libra

Nice teacher who just wants to fit in with the kidzzz: Capricorn, Cancer 

Cool teacher who doesn’t really care and doesn’t set homework: Pisces, Gemini, Leo 

Funny mean bitch teacher who calls people out: Sagittarius, Aquarius, Taurus, Virgo 

musicians/singers/rappers born under each sign

ARIES: Al Green, Aretha Franklin, Big Sean, Billie Holiday, Brendon Urie, Damon Albarn, Diana Ross, Dusty Springfield, Elton John, Eric Clapton, Ezra Koenig, Fergie, Gerard Way, Lady Gaga, Mariah Carey, Marvin Gaye, Matt Healy, Norah Jones, Patrick Carney, Pharrell Williams, Steven Tyler, Win Butler

TAURUS: Adele, Billy Joel, Bob Seger, Bono, Cher, Dan Auerbach, David Byrne, Enrique Iglesias, Iggy Pop, James Brown, Janet Jackson, Joey Ramone, Josh Homme, Justin Young, Kelly Clarkson, Kim Gordon, Krist Novoselic, Mac DeMarco, Meek Mill, Patrick Stump, Paul Banks, Pete Townshend, Ritchie Valens, Robert Smith, Roy Orbison, Sam Smith, Sid Vicious, Stevie Wonder, Willie Nelson

GEMINI: André 3000, Bob Dylan, Brandon Flowers, Brian Wilson, Devendra Banhart, Gotye, Ice Cube, John Bonham, Kanye West, Kylie Minogue, Lana Del Rey, Lenny Kravitz, Macklemore, Matt Bellamy, Matt Hitt, Morrissey, Nancy Sinatra, Nathan Williams, Notorious B.I.G., Paul McCartney, Pete Wentz, Prince, Rivers Cuomo, Stevie Nicks, Tupac, Victoria Legrand

CANCER: 50 Cent, Andrew Bird, Ariana Grande, Ariel Pink, Beck, Carlos Santana, Courtney Love, Cyndi Lauper, Debbie Harry, Don Henley, Duffy, Ian Curtis, Isaac Brock, Jack White, Jason Mraz, Kate Nash, M.I.A., Missy Elliott, Nicole Scherzinger, Ringo Starr, Selena Gomez, Sky Ferreira, Sufjan Stevens

LEO: Bobby Shmurda, Charli XCX, Chief Keef, Demi Lovato, Elliott Smith, Freddie Cowan, James Hetfield, Jesse Rutherford, Joe Jonas, Madonna, MCA, Mick Jagger, Robert Plant, Serj Tankian, Soulja Boy, Whitney Houston

VIRGO: 2 Chainz, Amy Winehouse, Beyoncé, Buddy Holly, Dee Dee Ramone, Eazy-E, Elvis Costello, Faris Badwan, Fiona Apple, Florence Welch, Freddie Mercury, Hank Williams, Jarvis Cocker, Jason Derulo, Julian Casablancas, Keith Moon, Lacey Mosley, Liam Payne, Ludacris, Michael Bublé, Michael Jackson, Nas, Niall Horan, Nick Cave, Nick Jonas, Patsy Cline, P!nk, Ryan Ross, Van Morrison, Wiz Khalifa

LIBRA: Alex Trimble, A$AP Rocky, Ashanti, Avril Lavigne, Ben E. King, Bruce Springsteen, Childish Gambino, Chuck Berry, Eminem, Gwen Stefani, Halsey, John Lennon, John Mayer, Lil Wayne, Marina Diamandis, Matt Shultz, Nico, Paul Simon, PJ Harvey, Ray Charles, Snoop Dogg, Sting, St. Vincent, Thom Yorke, T.I., Tom Petty, Usher

SCORPIO: Ad-Rock, Anthony Kiedis, Art Garfunkel, Bethany Cosentino, Björk, Chad Kroeger, Chelsea Wolfe, Chris Baio, Ciara, Courtney Barnett, Drake, Frank Ocean, Grace Slick, Jeff Buckley, Joni Mitchell, Karen O, Katy Perry, Kevin Jonas, Lorde, Neil Young, P. Diddy, Schoolboy Q, Thomas Mars, Travis Barker, Vanilla Ice

SAGITTARIUS: Alison Mosshart, Billy Idol, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Frank Sinatra, Janelle Monae, Jay-Z, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix, Nelly Furtado, Nicki Minaj, Ozzy Osbourne, Rita Ora, Rostam Batmanglij, Sara Bareilles, Sia, Taylor Swift, Tina Turner, Tom Delonge, Trey Songz, Tyler Joseph, Vance Joy

CAPRICORN: Aaliyah, Alex Turner, Brooks Nielsen, Dave Grohl, David Bowie, Eddie Vedder, Ellie Goulding, Elvis Presley, FKA Twigs, Hayley Williams, Janis Joplin, Jimmy Page, Joan Baez, John Legend, John Paul Jones, Jordin Sparks, Lil Jon, LL Cool J, Louis Tomlinson, Mac Miller, Marilyn Manson, Pat Benatar, Patti Smith, Pitbull, Ricky Martin, Skrillex, Tom Meighan, Zayn Malik

AQUARIUS: Alicia Keys, Andrew VanWyngarden, Axl Rose, Billie Joe Armstrong, Bob Marley, Brandon Boyd, Cat Power, Danielle Haim, Dr. Dre, Ed Sheeran, Eddie Van Halen, Gucci Mane, Harry Styles, J. Cole, Justin Timberlake, Kevin Parker, Kid Cudi, Lupe Fiasco, Peter Gabriel, Phil Collins, Riff Raff, Sam Cooke, Shakira, Steve Perry, The Weeknd

PISCES: Adam Levine, Alex Kapranos, Bert McCracken, Billy Corgan, Chester Bennington, Chris Martin, David Gilmour, Earl Sweatshirt, George Harrison, Hozier, Jake Bugg, Jhené Aiko, Johnny Cash, Jon Bon Jovi, Justin Bieber, Ke$ha, Kurt Cobain, Lou Reed, Luke Pritchard, Lykke Li, Mark Foster, Mark Hoppus, Miles Kane, Nate Reuss, Pete Doherty, Regina Spektor, Rihanna, Roger Daltrey, Tyler The Creator

“Most....” Zodiac squads

Most Bossy: Aries, Leo

Most Romantic: Pisces, Libra, Cancer

Most Grumpy: Aries, Cancer, 

Most Spontaneous: LEO, Aquarius, Aries

Most Sassy: Sagittarius, Capricorn, Taurus, (Gemini maybe)

Most Naughty: Aries, Scorpio, Virgo (hehehe)

Most serious: Gemini, Pisces, Capricorn

Most Bitchy: Taurus, Leo, Virgo

Most Dreamy: Aquarius, Pisces, Sagittarius

Most aggressive: A R I E S 

Most sensitive: Virgo, Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces

Most dominant: Taurus, Aries, Scorpio, Capricorn

Most scary when angry: Leo, Pisces, Capricorn

Most moody: Cancer, Libra, Gemini

Most Creative: SAGITTARIUS, Aquarius, Pisces

Most royal: Leo 

Most pervert: Taurus, Libra, Cancer

Most stronghearted: All <3

Most like to be a millionair: Capricorn, Gemini, 

Most flirtatious: Libra, Pisces

why the signs are late
  • Aries:went to the wrong place
  • Taurus:didn't want to go, never actually shows up
  • Gemini:got lost driving there
  • Cancer:lost track of time watching Netflix
  • Leo:was asleep
  • Virgo:isn't late, like ever.
  • Libra:some weird incident of misfortune or inconvenience befalls them, like having to jump their own/someone else's car
  • Scorpio:always arrives in the knick of time completely by accident and luck
  • Sagittarius:just shows up an hour late with no explanation
  • Capricorn:lost track of time getting high, playing video games, or both
  • Aquarius:wanted to cancel but felt too guilty so ended up showing up at the last minute
  • Pisces:perfecting outfit and makeup
Where the signs go on vacation (and why)

Aries: New York, New York - the hustle and bustle of the city fits this signs personality

Taurus: Athens, Greece - home of the Athenians who were strong willed much like this sign

Gemini: Barcelona, Spain - Everywhere you go people are smiling and busy chatting it up like a Gemini

Cancer: Myrtle Beach, South Carolina - Homey and great place for family vacations

Leo: Buenos Aires, Argentina - Lively and hot just like Leo’s

Virgo: Cusco, Peru - Highly advanced back in the day and sophisticated

Libra: Paris, France - historical and beautiful just like this sign

Scorpio: Milan Italy - beautiful but not many people give it attention when they should

Sagittarius: Marrakech, Morocco - Adventurous and exotic

Capricorn: London, England - High class and an advanced city

Aquarius: Cancun, Mexico - Laid back and chill vibe

Pisces: Sydney, Australia - Peaceful vibe that describes a Pisces personality to the dot

THE SIGNS MAKING EYE CONTACT

WILL STARE A BISH DOWN: LEO, AQUARIUS, ARIES

STARES @ SOMEONE HAIR OR SOMETHIN AND STARTS LOOKIN AWAY WHEN THEY LOOK BACK: LIBRA, CAPRICORN, GEMINI

THEY JUST BE FOCUSING THEY EYES SOMEWHERE AND START DAYDREAMING THEY DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY LOOKIN AT: SAGITTARIUS, PISCES, SCORPIO

STARTS FEELING AWKWARD IF THEY MAKE EYE CONTACT W/ SOMEONE THEY DON’T KNOW FOR MORE THAN 2 SECONDS: TAURUS, CANCER, VIRGO

Initiating in Venus

Aries Venus
Someone with an Aries in Venus is very likely to make the first move, in fact out of all Venus positions Aries is the most likely to chase after their love interest and ask them out.  The only reason that should limit an Aries Venus is having an extremely cautious or shy sun sign or moon sign! 

Taurus Venus
Taurus in general are not known for asking their crush out or initiating a lot of dates. But with a more forward sun or moon sign a Taurus Venus is likely to be very determined and even aggressive when chasing love. The Taurus Venus is made to sustain relationships and doesn’t lose interest easily. Shy or not if they get a hint that their crush is interested they will find a way to get their message across.

Gemini Venus
The Gemini Venus isn’t one to come straight out and say they like someone but they give off hints. These hints aren’t subtle and mysterious, Gemini Venus tend to be naturally flirty, can be communicative about how they feel, and knows how to tease in a way that gets your attention!

Cancer Venus
Now you really might not know for a while if a Cancer Venus likes you or not. This can even mute more open and aggressive signs. Caring, intuitive with a partner, and all about emotional attachments this position can be picky about who they date but at the same time is a sucker for romance and emotional people. A Cancer Venus might not be super forward but they do try to take control emotionally and might actually be the one to “light the flame” sort of speak and then wait for you to sustain it.

Leo Venus
Leos in general like to be approached and admired but if they see something they like they go after it and this remains true for the Venus position. If they really like you or are in love with you then you will know if a person has a Leo Venus. But be warned Leo is associated with drama in love and a lot of times this could mean harmless drama. This Venus needs some spice in their relationships.

Virgo Venus
Someone with a Virgo Venus is not one to make all the big first moves. But Virgo in Venus is communicative and isn’t afraid to start practical conversations and loves it when things lead to flirting. Virgo in Venus can be reliable and responsive towards someone they like. They might appreciate it if their love interest makes some of the bigger moves. But Virgo in Venus can be picky, have high-standards, and may be fussy or unrealistic in love.

Libra Venus
This sign is all about reacting and responding. They have the ability to initiate a lot, especially when it comes to flirting and getting physical but Libra influences prefer to react and they can be attracted to push and pull types of dynamics. Libra in Venus is likely to “test the waters” and play cat and mouse until they are sure they like someone. Then they win over their love interest with charm and even romance. But beware of Libra’s indecisive trait influencing the Venus position. They can have a hard time figuring out what they want in love.

Scorpio Venus
This position can be very forward and aggressive when chasing a love interest but can be tempted by love games. Scorpio is faithful in this position and when they see someone they want they go after that person with full force. Scorpio Venus can like someone for a long time even without knowing how the other person feels or if that person turns down the Scorpio Venus. This position can be tempted by people who are willing to play “games” with them and they can have an obsessive side. 

Sagittarius Venus
This position is not afraid to start flirting with someone and can make any physical intentions known. They will confess physical attraction for someone but when it comes to commitment and emotional bonds they are more avoidant. Sagittarius Venus is fun and casual in relationships but still has a passionate side. For this Venus it is better for them to establish a physical and then mental connection and from there they don’t mind if someone initiates more commitment and devotion. As for confessing their love you have to wait to actually be dating this person for a while until they release their emotional passion.

Capricorn Venus
Capricorn is associated with calculated initiation and this is the same for the Venus position. This individual will make a move on someone they like but it is thought out. Also this position can be prone to over thinking their moves. What could keep a Capricorn Venus from making the big moves is having low self-esteem or being sure that their crush does not like them.

Aquarius Venus
An Aquarius Venus might not feel comfortable being sought after. They would prefer a mental connection to spark their interest and then they would move on to discover if they have chemistry with a person or not. Aquarius Venus can be unpredictable in love and this is true when it comes to going after someone they like. Aquarius Venus can be super flirty and forward but then get distracted from their crush the next day.

Pisces Venus
This position can be more shy and/or passive when it comes to dealing with love interests. Pisces Venus is very unlikely to make the first move but they can fall hard for someone. Pisces Venus is the type to daydream about their crush and likes to admire them from afar when they first discover them. When a Pisces Venus likes someone and no one makes a move eventually they find a way for their feelings to pour out.

no inbetweens
  • aries:either a stone cold bitch or the most emotional sap ever who just wants Dogs
  • taurus:either the mom friend or satan
  • gemini:???i don't even know what the fukc
  • cancer:either fun and outgoing or a total dick
  • leo:either feels like a total god or like total shit
  • virgo:either a social butterfly or a total introvert
  • libra:either a complete social flirt or only makes out with food and watches high school musical
  • scorpio:either the most sensitive person ever or the most insensitive
  • sagittarius:either a party animal or a sleep 24/7 kinda person
  • capricorn:either the meanest person ever or the biggest memer ever
  • aquarius:either the most wonderful person ever or the most bitter person ever
  • pisces:either the most precious thing in the world or a still precious thing, screaming about how non-precious they are
Reasons why I love each sign

Aries: ur so stubborn and usually that’s a bad thing but it means that ur driven and refuse to back down from things and I respect that. ur super funny and I can always have a laugh with u. ur all good with animals and I love it. I love ur smile u should definitely smile more often.

Taurus: u eat so much but stay so skinny how do u do that???? ur super funny and really cute. ur not afraid to speak ur mind and I respect u for that. u are super smart as well and ur always willing to help people which is super great. I love u all.

Gemini: u guys are so chill omg how do you do it???? also ur like super pretty and ur hotness actually secretly intimidates me. u’ve got like loads of friends who would do anything for you but sometimes you just don’t see it and u never let it go to ur head which is great. ur all super nice as well and u give the best advice.

Cancer: u guys are so good to be around like ur so funny and chill it’s just really great. ur also like really knowledgeable about certain things and u love to tell people about them. I’ve learnt loads just from hanging around u all.

Leo: u guys are super funny and ur so cute. honestly what the fuck. ur also like passive aggressive af. u don’t actively start fights but u also aren’t afraid to stand up for urself and u would happily slay someone who upsets u. 10/10 ur great

Virgo: u guys have the cutest smiles omg I love it. ur so funny and smart and ur also super passionate about what you love. u are all but cuties idk how u do it. I’ve gotten on with every virgo I’ve ever met cause ur all just so good to be around. I love u all.

Libra: u guys are so understanding especially with problems, and ur really good at helping me to understand both sides to something. ur super supportive with anything and I’d trust u with my life. u all make great friends.

Scorpio: meme whores. all of u. don’t deny it. I love that about u cause u all make references in everyday conversation that leave everyone else there really confused. u come of as being really aloof (in my opinion) but actually ur all just super chill and great to be around.


Sagittarius: u guys are funny af it’s great. ur also like super fashionable and popular af. ur basically everything that I want to be but am not. I love u anyway though. u make great best friends and r super fun to be around it’s great.

Capricorn: u guys are like super chill until someone fucks u over then u turn aggressive af. u slay anyone and everyone who crosses ur path. u make great friends though and ur always up for a good debate about anything.

Aquarius: ur so funny and witty u make me laugh all the time. also ur super cute like no stop who gave u permission to be that cute. I’m unsure whether I want to kiss u or cuddle u or punch u in the face and i love it. ur all nerds every single one of u is a nerd and you don’t judge me for being a nerd. actually u don’t judge anyone for anything. ur so intelligent and ur willing to share ur knowledge with anyone who asks. also ur really helpful.

Pisces: ur so cute I just want to pinch ur cheeks and wrap u up in a dozen fluffy blankets. the true cinnamon rolls of the zodiac. ur like calm all the time unless someone upsets u then u just get really passive aggressive and I love it. u can cook so well wtf. also u have super pretty eyes (i could stare into them forever)

The Signs at their Bachelor/Bachelorette Party

Aries: does a keg stand and karaoke

Taurus: has hot wings and watches a football game

Gemini: goes to a Nicki Minaj concert and jams the frickle out

Cancer: goes to a bar but would rather be home with bae

Leo: a stripper pops out of their cake, bUT iT WASNT THEIR IDEA THEY SWEAR

Virgo: casino night with lots of wine

Libra: imagine an 11 year old’s birthday, but with alcohol

Scorpio: plays Cards Against Humanity with their friends because anything else would be disloyal

Sagittarius: stripper pops out of their cake aND IT WAS THEIR IDEA THEY SWEAR

Capricorn: piñata and beer pong: all you need to know

Aquarius: goes indoor skydiving then gets turnt

Pisces: freaking graffiti and shi. all out insane.