The seas be ours, and by the powers; where we will, we’ll roam. Yo ho, all hands, hoist the colors high. Heave ho, thieves and beggars; never shall we die. Some men have died and some are alive and others sail on the sea. With the keys to the cage and the devil to pay, we lay to the fiddler’s green.Yo ho haul together, hoist the colors high. Heave ho, thieves and beggars; never shall we die.
“Aye. Mermaids. Sea ghouls, devil fish, dreadful in hunger for flesh of man. Mermaid waters, that be our path. Cling to your soul, Gibbs, as mermaids be given to take the rest, to the bone.” - Pirates of the Caribbean
You know, I really love the Pirates of the Caribbean world. I love the magic, the voodoo and curses being sea-themed, the sea creatures and I love the characters too.
But stars am I sick of the stories. I don’t want Jack and a girl/boy lovestory happening because shenanigans. I am tired of some guy who we never heard before coming to get Jack because Jack was an ass to him in the past.
I know this movie will be the last (according to the trailers for the 5th movie) but you know what kind of stuff I would have loved to see?
sea creatures becoming more of a threat since Calypso is free again (Jack goes to find the (former) Priest and his mermaid (now wife) who help him find Calypso so he can talk to her)
someone took Barbossa’s old treasure to become the powerful undead ruler of the seas (classic Disney Villains, hmmm, I miss those) (Barbossa and Jack are once again required to work together, lots of quality banter happens while chasing a villain who pisses them both off)
Jack’s dad vanishes and with him the pirate codex (personal conflict for Jack that might give us character development and some more insight on how Jack became who he is today)
Angelica uses the voodoo doll of Jack that she still has in some way that gets Jack in a huge amount of trouble. (SERIOUSLY HAVE WE FORGOTTEN THAT SHE STILL HAS THAT THING?)
Elizabeth becoming a pirate herself because she and her son are tired of waiting 10 years to see Will for only a day. (Elizabeth needs to find a ship that can keep up with the Flying Dutchman so she can sail with Will. Maybe their son somehow becomes Jack’s best friend? Someone who knows what to expect from Jack from his mother’s stories? And who is perfectly able to kick Jack’s ass if needed.)
Those are just some ideas and personally would have loved to see either of them as a movie. But no, we are stuck on repeat with the plot of the first movie until the end. :/
Thoughts on Pirates of the Caribbean? I've heard somewhere that you took inspiration for Red Seas.
I really loved the first film, saw it many times. Enjoyed the second more than most people I know. Left to go the the bathroom at the climax of the third and didn’t feel I’d missed anything. Never saw it again. Totally disinterested in any of the films made since. Back in 2003, the whole notion of a movie based on a fucking theme park ride was generally seen as mad hubris, and part of the charm of POTC was the shocking fact that it turned out to be so genuinely good. Since then, I have become profoundly less interested in the notion that the Caribbean hides any more previously-unseen all-powerful dark forces that Jack Sparrow personally pissed off many years ago. I also enjoyed the Sparrow character a great deal more when it was unclear just where his boundaries were set– how much of his shtick was affect and swagger, how much of it was obsession and sanity-bending experience, how much of it was damage? I don’t particularly care for more explanations and backstory; I was happier with him as a mystery and a foil rather than the center of the cinematic universe. If I never have to see another film trailer with a genuinely excellent actor with some CGI supernatural gook all over them muttering “Jack… Sparrrrowwwww…” I’ll be pretty content.