Hi sixpenceee!!! I don’t know if you’ve seen this already, but I found it earlier today and thought it looked up your alley. Hope you enjoy!

“Recently, while doing some spring cleaning, a Florida family made a quite frankly gruesome discovery.

Maria and Ernesto Lopez were sorting through old family belongings in their attic, when they discovered a strange box they had never seen before. Inside was a sepia-toned wedding photo, old coins, a dusty map, and a severed human hand.

Ernesto says the bride and groom are likely his great-grandparent. He thinks map and coins have something to do with Jose Gaspar, a legendary Spanish pirate who allegedly looted Florida’s western shores and whose lore was handed down in the Lopez family.

The map is of the Hillsborough River, running through downtown Tampa. Lopez has no idea what the hand is about.”

My thoughts: While it looks like piracy may be involved, I just thought I’d add something that came to my mind when I read it. A little while ago I was doing research for a school project, and read about a a rather well-known magical talisman known as the ‘Hand of Glory’ (link goes to wikipedia). Basically, it’s the severed hand of a hanged criminal, and it can be used for various supernatural purposes. It probably has nothing to do with the find, but whatever the reason, it’s an interesting discovery.


The signs as pirates

Aries: har har har give me the booty

Taurus: stays on the ship and takes care of the captain’s pet parrot

Gemini: What do you MEAN?? how DARE you insinuate that I am pirating movies?!!!??!?!

Cancer: can I steer the ship, captain?? (*captain, reluctantly: “…fine.”*) *EXCITED SQUEALING*

Leo: I don’t think we should steal from people… (not really a real pirate. Leos are too nice. dammit.)

Virgo: AYE! AYE!! AAAAYE!!! (Yes, Jim, we know you lost your eye. You have to wear the eyepatch.)

Libra: actually tries to be a serious pirate

Scorpio: I don’t really feel like looting, can’t we just make them put money into my Paypal?

Sagittarius: constantly tries to make the captain’s parrot talk

Capricorn: gets caught playing with the captain’s sword and just walks away sheepishly

Aquarius: gets arrested for being an asshole pirate

Pisces: spends 85% of their time in the brig for doing stupid shit

The Worst Pirate in History — The Forgotten Legend of Bartholomew Sharp

Perhaps one of the worst pirates to sail the high seas, Bartholomew Sharp certainly is not a legendary figure like Blackbeard, Bartholomew Roberts, or Captain Kidd.  The fictional pirate Jack Sparrow, when accused of being the worst pirate ever heard of remarked, “But you have heard of me.”  Unfortunately Bartholomew Sharp was so bad that his name is almost forgotten to history.  In 1639 Sharp set off with a crew of pirates to Panama in search of Spanish treasure.  Unlike most pirates who stalked the Caribbean, Sharp had the idea to raid the Pacific side of the Spanish Main.  It is a wonder why he had this idea, most treasure fleets bound for Europe crossed through the Caribbean, only a few ships, mostly supply ships bound for the Philippines with some treasure ships bound for the Straits of Magellan could be found on the Pacific side.  Regardless, Sharp and his men sailed to Panama, abandoned ship at the coast, then seized Spanish ships on the Pacific side of Panama.  

Bartholomew Sharp and his crew raided several Spanish ships, but none had anything of value.  After two years of slim pickings, his crew mutinied and replaced him as captain.  Fortunately for him, his replacement only lasted three weeks before unexpectedly dying.  Amazingly, the crew voted to restore Sharp as captain once again.  However Sharps luck failed to pick up, that was until him and his crew came across a Spanish treasure galleon, which they captured after a short fight.  However, rather than finding a rich haul of treasure, the ship was loaded with 700 bars of a dull grey metal which they thought was tin.  Dejected and depressed, Sharp and his pirates decided to cut their losses and head home.  They threw the bars overboard, saving a small portion to be cast into musket balls.

Sharp and his men rounded South America and returned to the Caribbean.  When they arrived they learned of two pieces of very bad news.  First, Sharp had assumed that because England was enemies with Spain, he would be recognized as a privateer by English authorities.  However the English were not at war with Spain at the time, and arrest warrants had been issued in Sharp’s name for piracy.  Secondly, the men had run out of lead to cast musket balls, and had dug into the stock of “tin bars” captured from the Spanish galleon earlier.  It was then discovered that the tin bars were not tin at all, but in fact were silver.  The unfortunate pirates had dumped a fortune worth 150,000 English Pounds (millions today) into the deep blue sea.  Bummer.

When Sharp tried to make harbor at Barbados, he found a Royal Navy frigate waiting for him.  He then made for Antigua, but authorities there barred him from entry.  Eventually Sharp and his men were captured and arrested, then hauled into court in chains.  In a rare stroke of luck for Sharp, him and his men were acquitted due to lack of evidence, either that or the jury felt bad for him.  After avoid the hangman’s noose and gibbet, Sharp settled down on the Danish Island of St. Thomas.  A man who could not lead a successful life as a pirate, Sharp was also a man who could not lead a successful life as a regular citizen.  He died in a debtors prison in 1702.

Look closely, that’s not really a pirate ship sailing past. This awesome photo was taken at just the right moment by Redditor bijoubear, who was lounging on the beach in Seminyak, Bali when a kite vendor strolled past flying an awesome 3D pirate ship kite.

“The guy passed by our seats and I was like “whoa cool ass kite” grabbed my camera and took a photo. Forgot about it until a couple days ago when I transferred images from my camera to my laptop.”

It’s causing the Department of Astonishing Optical illusions to cheer as though they’re members of The Goonies watching One-eyed Willy’s pirate ship sail away:

[via Twisted Sifter]

anonymous asked:

can you recomend me a good pirate book? :)

I don’t think I have read ANY pirate books, they are very under-represented in books to be fair, I can name a couple, but I haven’t personally read them.

Check the notes in case my followers have added some!