pip omg

2

hey @eightmonkeys , y’know that au where laurens lives??? i can totally dig that :^^)))

Androxus the DM: Part 2

Androxus: The temple of Jenos was overgrown by plantlife. Vines wrapped around the pillars, the arches caked with moss, the walkway buried beneath the earth, concealed by a thick patch of grass. Seeing such well-built architecture claimed by nature soothed the mind, and eased the worries of the battle to come. It was beautiful, in a surreal way. As you-
Ash: Will you cut the poetry crap and get to the fighting!? I want something a little tougher than those goblins!
Ruckus: Yeah, they were nothing like me!
Bolt: Is that supposed to be a bad thing?
Androxus: Well, I suppose I’ll feed these pages of narrative structure to Grohk later, I guess… You can’t see inside the temple from outside, what will you do?
Pip: I rush into the cave and cast Dancing Lights!
Androxus: As you rush ahead of the group, you can hear stone settling under you with one specific step. You set off a booby trap, make an Athletics check to avoid getting shot.
Pip: Ah crap, a 9…
Androxus: You manage to evade a few, but two arrows embed themselves into your shoulder and leg. You take… *roll* …8 damage, you fall to the floor and are bleeding out.
Ruckus: I told you we should’ve taken a short rest first, you would’ve survived that if you were at full health!
Bolt: Not the first time you called my idea yours, Ruckus.
Pip: Screw you guys! There’s no time to waste when you’re on the lamb!
Androxus: Ash, you still have Lay on Hands available, will you use it to heal Pip?
Ash: Nah, let’s leave the pansy.
Ruckus: Yeah.
Bolt: Wise decision.
Pip: Seriously guys!? I’m the only dude here with a reasonable Dexterity score because you all wanted to play paladins!
Ash: I don’t know why, I was leaning towards that class for some reason.
Bolt: I was expecting you to fail like this, but not before Ruckus, I must say.
Ruckus: What’s that supposed to mean!?
Ash: Can we get to the fight already!?
Androxus: …Willo, get my coat.

Written and submitted by @godslayer-androxus

panvinniedakota  asked:

Pip how did you get to be a time janitor?

well it was the weirdest thing ! i went to go buy some new furniture and everything to freshen up my apartment (in case i had guests, obviously) and i saw this ad on a bench and… i was looking for the extra cash so, i thought, why not ! (the weird thing is the bench disappeared a few days later)

so i went in for my interview, and, well,

i guess i was the only one who applied for the position ? i’m not complaining. that chair looks great in my main room.

PIP IS DEAD AND IN HELL (EVEN THO HE A CINNAMON BUN HES NOT MORMON) WITH DAMIEN 

KENNY AND BUTTERS HAD AN ENTIRE HAWAIIAN JOURNEY TOGETHER  

CRAIG AND TWEEK ARE FUCKING CANON 

AND CARTMAN FINALLY WENT AND FUCKED HIMSELF 

Pip is back and she loves you and is excited she’s a tumblr celebrity! I had to send you what I call “the evolution of Pip”. Pip was found in a parking lot by her mommy @schneezusweiss when she was 2-3 days old. My sister named her Pip, aka Pipsqueak, because she was so incredibly tiny! And now the last picture pretty much sums up how chunky she is now :) I post “Piptures” on my blog @itsmeblackberry all the time or on my Instagram @emilieazorr as her aunt/manager :) thanks for loving Pip as much as we do! Also if you’re the blog Floozys I’m feeling star struck and I love you but even if you aren’t I still love you too 😍

Reading about Fallout 4

*cums in pants *

*throws up*