pinocchio is on fire

The signs are stupid random crap my friends and I said in a group chat while watching the Republican debate
  • Aries: If you light a candle within fifty meters of trumps hair, will it catch on fire?
  • Taurus: SHREK IS NOT LOVE OR LIFE
  • Gemini: he has that trained doctor voice and hand motions that feels like he's about to tell you your operation didn't work and you're going to die
  • Cancer: The tear is actually on the left cheek of the emoji
  • Leo: Why does Cruz look like an adult Pinocchio?
  • Virgo: I just wanna light his hair on fire so I could tell him "you're fired". Tables have turned, bitch.
  • Libra: none of them get embarrassed when they're proven wrong
  • Scorpio: we didn't finish the enema
  • Sagittarius: there is no shame in this shit talking conference
  • Capricorn: Like you know that feeling you get when you look at a leaf on the ground in the fall? Like, you wanna step on it to feel and hear that satisfying crunch, right? I get that same feeling when I see his hair
  • Aquarius: DO NOT TAKE THE LORDS NAME IN VAIN GOD DAMNIT
  • Pisces: Best product from Spain since the gasoline brothers (HE WASN'T EVEN TALKING ABOUT THE RIGHT RUBIO)