Five Fucking Years
For five years I have been bullied physically, sexually, and mentally.
For five years I have been battling depression, anxiety, mild ptsd, panic attacks, and suicidal thoughts.
But that’s in the outside world. I came to the Internet, to tumblr and the fandom to get away from all of that, but instead?
I get five years being sent message upon message telling me that I should die, that I should kill myself, that I should be raped and abused, that I don’t deserve anything but a shallow puddle as my grave because of the characters I like, the characters I ship, and the shows and movies I like to watch.
For five years I have seen others get sent the exact same messages, for five years I’ve had to say goodbye to friends who leave this site because they can’t take the hate anymore, and for five years I have had no idea if they are still alive or not.
For five years I have tiptoed on my blog, afraid to set off anyone that I might upset enough to be told that I should kill myself.
And I Am Done. I Have Snapped.
I do not care if you like X character, or Y ship, I do not care if you hate X character or Y ship, but telling someone that doesn’t like or hate the same things as you to kill themselves, or that they deserve to be hurt, or that they are worthless is fucking disgusting.
You can have your discourse about why X ship/character is toxic or how Y ship/character is The Pinnacle of Perfection, but it stops being discourse and turns into abuse the moment you tell them they deserve to die.
I have wanted to kill myself Four Fucking Times because of messages like that that I have gotten for the five years.
I was 13 when it started.
I was thir-fucking-teen years olds when I was told to kill myself because I didn’t ship A with B but instead with C.
Do you have any idea what that does to a 13 year old?
You make them hate themselves, you make them hate what they love, you make them hate the thing they used to get away from the real world.
You took the love they had left and smashed it.
You have mentally abused them. You have made them feel less then they are.
And it has to fucking stop. Because now it has bled over to actors and directors and screen writers and authors.
Telling someone that they deserve to be hurt or that they have to kill themselves shouldn’t be used as some parlor trick to get one over on a person.
Next time you want to do something like that, first answer this question very fucking carefully:
Does a life and mental health of a real person matter less then my opinion on fictional characters?
And the answer better fucking be no.
For five years I have been fighting this, and I know I’m not the only one who had, or the only one who’s done with this shit.
Goddamnit no one, fucking no one deserves this mental abuse from people behind a screen just because they do or do not hate or like something.
And that’s fucking final.
Edit: apparently there’s a tag limit on posts. So here are tw tags: #rape mention, #suicide mention, #threat mention (send ask if I missed any)