pinky-toe

[!] 170630 Big Hit’s Notice on Namjoon’s Participation at THE WINGS TOUR in Sapporo

Hello, this is Big Hit Entertainment.

We are notifying you about the situation as to why BTS’ member Rap Monster will not be able to participate in choreography [stages] at the Sapporo concerts.

On June 29th, while resting at the hotel in Sapporo, he bumped into the corner of hotel furniture and injured his right pinky toe. He was immediately received first aid at the neighboring hospital, but currently his toenail is lifted so the medical team has advised him to refrain from any movements that would cause pain or difficulties. Other than his toe, although he has not sustained any other injuries and his overall condition is good, in order for his injury to heal properly, following the doctor’s opinion, it has been decided that Rap Monster will not be participating in the choreography [stages] at the concert.

Therefore, for both days, July 1st and 2nd,of the Sapporo concerts, all other six members excluding Rap Monster will participate in the concert as normal with all of the choreography [stages], and Rap Monster plans do to his best to join them on stage.

We sincerely apologize for worrying the many fans who were looking forward to BTS’ Sapporo concerts, and we will do our best so that all of the BTS members will be able to finish off THE WINGS TOUR without any issues.

Thank you.
From Big Hit Entertainment

[original tweet]
Trans cr: Kylie @ allforbts
© Please take credit when taking out

Humans are Weird- Ignoring Pain

I hit my knee against a table and it hurt like hell, but I was in a hurry so I just rubbed it off you know. While I was on my way to the beach, everyone was looking at me *btw I was panicking cause I thought I had something on my face* When I got to the beach where my friend was waiting for me, she told me my knee was bleeding *I was actually pleased it was that and not that I had something on my face lol*

  • Isn’t horrible when you hit your hip with the table? Or Oh, the pinky toe. That is a suffering which I don’t wish upon ANYONE.

I just can’t believe that I DIDN’T NOTICE, and then it got me thinking, how humans can ignore pain. Like it must be a survival trait we developed through our existence to survive in extreme cases. 

Just imagine aliens being like HOW THE HELL DID YOU NOT NOTICE YOU WERE BLEEDING!? and I can’t stop laughing. 

Or worse, imagine they could feel your pain in a more intense way since some of us if not most have developed to feel less pain. 

*———————*

He felt it. The sharp pain lanced through his head and colorful spots flashed in front of his four eyes. The pain spread through his body, feeling a wave of agony. Then he saw the Human.

She was biting her lips, making it look she was trying to keep a cry out. Taking a closer look, she had a nasty cut on her ankle. She shrugged it off and continued to shuffle past the crew. Terric would think she would head to the medical room, but instead she was heading the opposite direction. -She would have to take care of it before it was too late that they would have to cut it offor even worse..that she could die- *he thought*

“Human-Sasha!” 

“Yes, Terr?” she answered him. 

“Why aren’t you heading to get medical attention?” he said concerned for her. 

Human-Sasha looked very confused, as if she had no idea what Terric meant. She had to know, right? 

“You’re bleeding!” he cried out. Scared for her survival. 

“Oh shit, I didn’t notice.” she mumbled, looking at her ankle. 

“You didn’t notice..? But didn’t it hurt?” 

Oh it did. But I guess..how would you say it….we humans can ignore pain in some cases if our mind is somewhere else.”

“I wasn’t aware humans had superpowers…” he said in a very serious manner. 

Human-Sarah ‘laughed’ out loud, making it look she was choking. Terric would never understand how that could show amusement in their kind.

“No”-she blurted out while laughing- “I assume humans have developed over the years to withhold pain in extreme cases, to guarantee our survival.”

Terric was horrified. He would have to update the human manual. 

170630 Big Hit’s statement on Rap Monster

Hello, this is Big Hit Entertainment.
We would like to inform everyone that BTS member Rap Monster is unable to participate in the Sapparo concert’s choreography.

On the 29th, Rap Monster hit his pinky toe on his right foot on the corner of a furniture in the Sapparo lodging. He went to a hospital near their lodging and was administered first aid. Currently, his toenail is raised/twisted so he was advised not to induce more pain to it or to overdo it. He’s healthy other than his pinky toe, so he will not be doing the choreography in order for his injury to heal.

Therefore, on July 1st and 2nd, the 6 members (excluding Rap Monster) will participate in the choreography as planned, and Rap Monster will go up on stage as well, doing his best.

We’re sorry to the fans who were waiting for the Sapparo concert, and we (including the BTS members) will try our best to end the Wings Tour safely.

source: BigHitEnt
trans cr: yen @ bangtan tumblr 

bighit announced namjoon won’t be participating in the choreography for the wings tour japan edition in sapporo as he bumped into the corner of the room’s furniture at the hotel yesterday and injured his right pinky toe. namjoon was taken to a hospital nearby to treat and since his toenail is injured, he’s advised to refrain from actions that could cause pain or strain. 

Humans are Weird

Okay so I’ve been reading a lot of the humans are weird things and a lot of them have to do with how crazy durable humans are. Like everyone talks about how crazy it is that people can walk for miles on broken legs or manage to keep fighting with major wounds or manage to lift cars if another person is stuck under one. But like no one seems to mention the exact opposite.

People can do all these crazy things because their adrenaline kicks in but like, we only get spikes of adrenaline when it’s absolutely necessary. Humans also get like super incapacitated by little paper cuts or an eyelash caught in their eye.

“Human-Jo why are you limping like that? Did you break a leg? Should I help you to the med bay?”

“Nah I’ll be okay I just stubbed my pinky toe.”

“But on our last mission I saw you pilot an escape pod with a broken arm! Why can you not overcome this small injury?”

“Crazy what you can do on an adrenaline rush right?”

My epic list of casual curses

A few months ago, someone broke my heart by dumping me for another girl.  In my sadness, I unleashed an outpour of 86 casual curses on my facebook wall as a way of venting my feelings.

Here is that list.

May you bite into a big chunk of garlic so your mouth feels funny for the next few days.

May a condom commercial come on tv while you’re in the room with your girlfriends dad.

May you stub your toe on every piece of furniture in your apartment.

May you over-salt every meal you try to cook.

May all of your pillows smell of feet.

May your toast always burn, and may no amount of scraping remove the black parts.

May your pen leak all over a drawing that was coming along really well.

May your teeth become very cold-sensitive.

May your mailbox be clogged with advertisements.

May you clog the toilet the first time you go to a new friends house.

May you always have an unsettling feeling of bugs crawling all over you when you’re trying to fall asleep.

May you always step in a funky-colored liquid after putting on socks.

May your ice cream always be frost burnt.

May every vending machine eat or reject your dollar.

May that “silent” fart come out surprisingly loudly.

May you develop erectile dysfunction.

May you step on a d4

May every toilet seat you sit on be either uncomfortably cold or uncomfortably warm.

May the elastic on all of your underwear give out.

May you always have a zit right on the inside of your nostril.

May you always have to pee while a cat is sitting on your lap.

May your next-door neighbor buy a set of bagpipes and practice every night until 4 in the morning.

May your favorite sweater shrink in the dryer.

May you get busted for illegally downloading something.

May you always have that feeling of having to sneeze.

May you fart in the middle of making out with someone.

May all of your favorite shows and movies be removed from Netflix.

May you get an un-hideable hickey right before you go visit your grandmother.

May there always be a pebble in your shoe.

May you spill your drink in your lap so it looks like you peed yourself. May this happen right before a date.

May your significant other forget your birthday.

May you run out of toilet paper, paper towels, and kleenex, and then get food poisoning.

May you always lose your chapstick.

May a flock of noisy geese start hanging out right outside of your bedroom window.

May the delivery guy always forget your drink.

May you take a giant drink of milk right out of the carton, only to discover its gone bad.

May your cup runneth over… with hot coffee.

May Autocorrect punish you.

May you always overdraft your bank account by like a dollar and have to pay a stupidly large fee.

May you find something really gross in the bottom of your cup of coffee after you’ve already finished it.

May you be the one to discover that there is a hole in the oven mitt.

May you step on this ungodly hybrid. (picture of a lego with a thumbtack stuck through it).

May you have an unforgivable Freudian slip.

May your roommate get addicted to a really irritating song and play it constantly.

May your most embarrassing tumblr post go viral.

May you be cursed with ingrown hairs that look like herpes.

May you suddenly become uncomfortably aware of your tongue.

May you get the hiccups during a phone interview for a job you really want.

May every surface you touch be sticky.

May your acne never go away.

May you always die in a video game just before you reach a checkpoint.

May your life develop a laugh track.

May your laundry always come out of a dryer a little bit damp.

May your favorite book be adapted into a terrible movie.

May you get a blister on the side of your pinkie toe.

May the spoon fall into the bowl every time you eat soup.

May you have to close every open tab because you can’t figure out where the music is coming from.

May you slice your finger while cutting up a lemon.

May you hit every red light.

May that unreachable spot on your back always itch.

May someone set the child censorship thingy on your netflix account.

May the YMCA song get stuck in your head for the next six months.

May all of your exes suddenly get really really hot.

May you develop a persistent itch on the inside of your nose.

May netflix cut out on you every few minutes for the rest of your life.

May you always get called in to work on your day off.

May you never find a job in your chosen field.

May your name become synonymous with the word “asshole” in someones circle of friends.

May all the cheese and toppings fall off of your pizza.

May you suddenly become lactose intolerant.

And gluten intolerant.

May you always think of epic comebacks two hours after an argument.

May your water heater suddenly crap out in the middle of winter.

May every table or chair you sit on/at have uneven legs.

May you never find a comfortable sleeping position again.

May you accidentally send a sexy text message to your mom.

May you always wake up two minutes before your alarm goes off.

May your roommate suddenly develop a habit of chewing way too loudly.

May every book or TV series you ever watch get spoiled.

May every selfie you post for the rest of your life get zero likes.

May the barista always give you decaf by accident.

May you always burn your tongue on your hot chocolate so you can’t even taste it.

May a bee fly into your mouth while you’re biking.

May someone always flick a cigarette butt into your can of soda. Even if nobody’s in the room with you.

May all of your favorite videos on youtube get deleted.

May you always end up in the line for the slowest cashier.

I hope that from here to eternity, every time you try to download something, your computer crashes when its at 99%

The moral is, never cheat on me.  And feel free to use any of these in your everyday life.

Spider-Man: Homecoming

Okay, so like I’m still bitter about Andrew but Spider-Man: Homecoming was actually really good.
————————–

• A film by Peter Parker - seriously that home movie was the cutest shit and it worked so well as a means to introduce Peter and his relationship with Happy. Like, he’s such a bouncy kid, so excited for his “Stark Internship.”

• Once again, excellent soundtrack. Marvel is really targeting their audiophiles this year and, like, I’m so here for it. Here, take ALL my money.

• Peter’s actually a motor-mouth (though not as much of a sarcastic little shit as I would have liked). Not to get too off topic here, but one of the reasons I love Spiderman and Deadpool, Spiderman & Deadpool teamups, and why I think Spiderman and Deadpool work so well together is because they’re both smart, sarcastic little shits who run their mouths off. I could go on and on about how much I love the Spiderman/Deapool dynamic and why it just *works.* But I’m focusing on Spider-Man: Homecoming here so I won’t. I guess my point is that it was really nice to hear Peter chatter away in Homecoming and to really see how smart this kid is. I mean, he and Ned HACKED A STARK SUIT. Successfully! Like, come on.

• Diversity - like real diversity. For the first time in a long time, the extras in a Marvel movie, in *any* movie, actually reflected real life (i.e., it wasn’t a sea of white people with one (1) poc). I really hope we keep seeing more movies that do this.

• Ned. Ned. NED. A true friend, the ride-or-die friend, a v precious v smart cinnamon roll who’s just really excited to be a part of this chapter in his best friend’s life, and who is a part of this chapter in Peter’s life - not a sidekick, Ned’s got a role and it’s one Peter legit values. Ned: the real MVP 👏👏👏👏

• Zendaya is a gift, A GIFT I TELL YOU. A+ casting I’m in love. She had the best comedic timing I think Just, the whole movie she’d occasionally drop a line or make a gesture and it killed me. She hardly spoke yet she stole the fuckin show, beautiful. Get it Zendaya, can’t wait to see more of you in future movies, Marvel and otherwise.

• I’m actually really happy with how they wrote Liz. Like, they totally could have made her a bitch, the stereotypical pretty popular girl who doesn’t even know Peter’s name. But they made her really down to Earth and grounded. She not only knows Peter’s name, she’s legit smart, and actually pays attention and notices that Peter’s acting strange and cares about what’s wrong! Like, well done Marvel. Nice job.

• Speaking of good characterization: Flash. Finally! A bully that looks and behaves like a bully. Not a muscled up, dumb, meat head who everyone in the audience can see coming a mile away, but just…. a normal, mean dude. You know, like the bullies in real life. 

• Okay, so I know the fandom keeps joking about how Aunt May keeps getting younger and soon she, too, will be a child. But I gotta say, Aunt May was awesome in this. She’s so cute, and I want her wardrobe, and omggggg the montage where she’s helping Peter get ready for the dance ❤❤ I like this Aunt May, good job.

• “If you’re nothing without the suit, you shouldn’t have it.” Hello Avengers callback wow. If you still think Tony Stark isn’t a hero unless he’s Iron Man, if you still think superpowers or a supersuit are what makes a hero after this you can unfollow me right tf now.

• ParentalFigure!Tony Stark. I am LIVING! 

• K.A.R.E.N. is lovely and I adore her. I love that Tony programmed a nurturing and encouraging personality into her. This whole movie dropped subtle hints at how hard Tony is working to be Not Howard™ for Peter and I love itttt.

• Happy!! We haven’t seen much, if any, of Happy since IM 3 and I’m so “happy” 😉 he’s back (plsdon'thurtme). And he’s sooo the cranky Uncle who cares deep down in his pinky toe. It’s wonderful. And! And!!!! He, an adult, openly and honestly admits he was wrong and apologizes to Peter, a teenager, who was right. Like, when’s the last time that happened in a film?

• “It’s been in my pocket since 2008” are you fucking kidding me Marvel??? Since Iron Man fricken ONE (1)??? Tony you’re WHIPPED and I love it.

• That Scene where Peter is trapped under the concrete holy shit. That was The Moment™ I was finally sold on Tom Holland and this new Spiderman, w-o-w. Acting. Wow. First Spiderman movie where we, the audience, are forced to acknowledge that Spiderman is a 15 year old CHILD. He’s still learning how to do this whole superhero thing, and in this moment he’s fucken terrified. 

He could have been at the dance, having a grand old time with his friends, you know, being a “normal” 15 year old. But no. He decided to go stop a bad guy, even without his suit, because it was the right thing to do and now he’s being crushed and he’s scared but goddamn if he doesn’t pick himself up and go because he’s Peter. Fucking. Parker. He still fights the villain, even after discovering who the villain is, AND fricken saves said villain because guess what?? He may be a 15 year old child but let’s not forget that he’s also a 15 year old fuckin HERO. I remain steadfast in my opinion that the only true difference between Spiderman and Deadpool is that Spidey actively tries NOT to kill people while DP doesn’t really care all that much and that’s why they get along so god damn well, they just complement each other man idek

• Poor Steve. Poor, poor Steve. Patience, is it really worth it? (Yes. Yes, it is Steve)
——————
9.5/10 - yet another Peter Parker Spiderman film but, like, this was actually done really well?? So, yeah.

Anyways, if you’re hesitating to go see Spider-Man: Homecoming in theaters…. I get it. I do. I, too, was all: “Not another Peter Parker movie, ugh.” And yeah, go see Baby Driver or Wonder Woman (a smaller movie featuring characters with disabilities and a female-led diverse superhero movie respectively) first if you haven’t seen them already. Lord knows Spidey’ll be fine if you don’t see it in theaters right away. That being said, you should definitely go see Homecoming in theaters. It’s worth the money.


The Disastrous Production of Howard Hughes’ 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea

Disney’s 1954 production of Jules Verne’s 20,000 Leagues by Richard Fleischer has long been the definitive cinematic version of the story. But it was not the first to enter production. In 1946, famous billionaire Howard Hughes attempted to make the film, following “The Outlaw” which would become his final completed film as director. The production would become one of Hollywood’s greatest disasters, taking the lives of over 90 actors and crew, costing nearly half a billion dollars (adjusted for inflation), destroying an entire island, and almost causing a third world war.

As the second world war drew to a close, Hughes was setting his sights on what he intended to be his magnum opus. Verne’s book had long been an inspiration to Hughes, in part inspiring his ventures into nautical enterprises, including the construction of the “Mahogany Mackerel,” one of the largest ships ever to sail. A party was held to mark the start of production at one of Hughes’ seaside homes outside of San Francisco (the mansion is now the home of director David Fincher), and was sadly marred when a drunken Hughes began shooting into the air with his crossbow and killed an albatross, which fell into the punch bowl.

The party featured the intended stars of the film, actors Gene Kelly, Gregory Peck, and Orson Welles who would portray Captain Nemo. It was an early blow to the film when all three actors departed the production on its first day due to infighting over an unsuccessful orgy the prior week. This caused a massive production delay during which Hughes bought up over 50 warehouses (including the world’s largest building at the time) to hold the sets and specially built water tanks until casting was replenished.

Two of these warehouses burned down (including the world’s largest building fire at the time), destroying the sets which then had to be rebuilt. By the time Hughes decided to cast unknown actors in the lead roles, ten more major set pieces had rotted away delaying the production further. Finally in October of 1948 the new sets and all actors were in place on the luxurious island of Bikini Atoll. The crew was to arrive at the shooting location on October 26th but was delayed by weather. This turned out to be a good thing as the United States conducted an unannounced nuclear test on October 27th, annihilating the island and the sets completely. The island is still not inhabitable to this day, and Howard Hughes, who owned the island, was compensated only $212 (adjusted for inflation) for his losses by the government.

Undeterred, Hughes began again with fresh sets, and new actors as the previous group had long since departed by 1950. This time, production finally began and footage was shot. It was never developed however because despite the expenditure of $800,000 (adjusted for inflation) on pyrotechnics for the first scenes shot, nobody had thought to temperature-protect the film canisters, which were opened at the lab and found to have melted completely into what amounted to large plastic hockey pucks. Hughes filmed the scene again, at the same cost, and then a third time when he was not satisfied with a background extra’s hair. This new footage too was lost when it was captured by rebellious 1950s teenagers who held it for ransom. They asked only $50 (adjusted for inflation) but Hughes refused to pay on principle.

The actors and crew were even more upset than Hughes that their work had been for nothing and so began the “Leagues Riots” of 1951. What sets remained were once more burned down, this time in protest. The lead actors were rehearsing in the sets at the time and all died of smoke inhalation. Hughes was also injured in an unrelated accident on the same day when he flew an experimental plane on its first test flight. He managed to steer the wayward jet back to his own property but missed the runway and instead crashed into another set, which had already been rigged for pyrotechnics the previous night, resulting in the loss of the set, pyro, plane, Hughes left pinky toe, and over 30 million dollars in production costs (adjusted for inflation).

Then the real problems began.

Hughes replaced the lead actor with Sam Normanjensen, once thought to be an great star on the rise. Unfortunately he was also a serial killer known then as the Sherman Oaks Ripper. He had killed 17 actors before he was cast, and filmed for only two weeks before he slaughtered and ate the spleen of one of his co-stars. Hughes was exonerated of any negligence but only after 50 million dollars (adjusted for inflation) in court fees and settlements with the actors family, one member of which visited the set on a later filming day to fire his pistol randomly at the remaining cast in anger, killing two more, wounding Hughes who lost his right testicle, and destroying a filming balloon that was the largest air vehicle ever built at the time (adjusted for inflation).

It was then that the Verne family withdrew their rights from the plagued production. Another legal battle cost in the millions, and by the time it was over in 1952, the sets had once again rotted away and had to be rebuilt. By that time, the Disney production was under way and Hughes spent millions more to spy on and sabotage the rival production. Several Disney employees fell victims to car bombs, others to arsenic poisoning, and one to auto-erotic asphyxiation, but Hughes was not considered responsible for that particular event. Walt Disney, of course, declared war.

The “War Between The Sets” began in 1953 as Hughes forces were driven off by Disney’s hired guns, the Mouseketeers which in those days were a fully armed paramilitary force. This skirmish took seven lives, but it was only the beginning. Hughes used his government contracts to secure two bombers and arms weighing in excess of 500 tons, all of which were dropped on Disney owned installations. Disney’s retaliation was severe. Hughes hotels burned days after, there were so many fires that Vegas and LA were both lit as bright as daylight even at midnight from the blazes. Hughes responded with bombings and drone strikes, with “drone strikes” in 1953 referring to dropping bees on ones enemy. One such strike which killed Disney’s allergic son, Walt Disney III (There was no Walt Disney II as Walt felt that talent skipped a generation). The conflict at one point threatened to spill over into Russia’s Southern American interests, leading the president to demand Hughes back down before turning the cold war into a nuclear conflict.

By the time a truce was called, Disney’s film was in theaters and Hughes was ready to call it a loss. He became reclusive and wasn’t seen much in public from that time on. Disney continued to be one of the largest entertainment companies in the world, and remains the producer of the most definitive adaptation of 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea.

The book has not been adapted since, but David Fincher’s new version begins filming next week on a budget over 200 million dollars. Sadly, the production has already seen its first fatality, when fireworks during the production party at Fincher’s San Francisco home went astray and killed an albatross. 

We at FIJMU wish Fincher the best of luck on his upcoming production. He’s going to need it.

3

47. My turn ons? Well I don’t know, maybe some fucking common sense.
+
52. My kink is closing the fucking bathroom door, because no one wants to see you fucking pee!

Those are probably my favourite ones omg ;D Hope you’ll enjoy what I wrote :)

“Why are boys so annoying, oh my god!”- you groaned in frustration, followed by Bucky who had an unbelievable smirk on his face, which you wanted to smack at the moment. “And why do you keep walking around half naked and…wet? Why the hell are you wet? You look like a glistening baby’s butt, Barnes!”- you waved your hands in the air like a mad man, but god, you were annoyed!

“No, don’t laugh at me, because you keep doing it! You keep walking your naked butt around as if it’s something everyone wants to look at, playboy!”- the expression on your face was the perfect opposite of his. While yours was a one that said ‘So done with your shit’, his…well his was more like ‘You know you want some more of my shit’.

Well, maybe you did, but that’s not the point now, is it?
You smacked his hard chest with your hand and he brought his to the spot you had just hit him and opened his mouth, pretending to be hurt. “You’re a dick”. Yes, that was your final word about it, why the hell bother with an idiot anyways, and besides you can’t really stay near his half naked self for too long and not stare like a schoolgirl.

But, he didn’t have to know that, so you just brushed him off and turned around dramatically, and just so dramatically failed as you found yourself hitting your pinkie toe on the edge of the cabinet.

So, whining in misery, you glared at him, and he was looking quite amused, laughing and such. “You okay there?”- you narrowed your eyes at him, and went to kick him in the leg. “Don’t act like you care, you little fuck!” 

His laughter was a blessing from god, well usually, now it was just irritating you in two very opposite ways. Another thing he doesn’t need to know.

“Come on, baby, you have to admit I turn you on, at least physically, you get all blushy when I’m around.” - well how dare he! You just scoffed at him with an unbelievable expression. “So what do you say, I think I can definitely add myself on the list with your turn ons…maybe even kinks?”- he wiggled his brows and even if this made your insides turn red, your face stayed equally annoyed as two seconds ago.

He was one smooth bastard and he knew it, so he made his way over to you and well, his chest were really in your face now, like wow has he been training, because damn. What the fuck _____?? No. “So tell me what turns you on?” - his voice was just the right amount of deepness, mixed with huskyness and like ten spoons of flirtatiousness, but you weren’t giving up just yet, so you kind of said ‘fuck off’ to your horny brain.

My turn ons? Well, what could they be, I don’t know, maybe some fucking common sense! Which leads me to my kink, that would be closing the fucking bathroom door, because no one wants to see you fucking pee! I don’t want to get flashed by you anymore God damn it, there isn’t a bloody part from you that I haven’t seen!! I feel traumatized and my eyes - my eyes have been violated too many times, Barnes!” - your voice progressed from mumbling to yourself to yelling in his face and shaking him by his arms, while he was simply looking at you dead in the eye with a seductive smirk.

Until… the towel around his hips fell on the ground.

“Oh my gOD, NOT AGAIN!”

Stood Up?

Summary : Dan gets stood up and Phil (a stranger) decides to act as his date so that Dan doesn’t feel bad. Also because he thinks Dan is kinda cute.

words : 2457

Genre: fluff

Dan squirmed in his seat, shifting uncomfortably and fidgeting with his hair as his stomach tied into knots and realization crept onto him. His face burned with humiliation as the occupants of the nearby table stared at him with a pitiful expression, looking away as soon as Dan turned his gaze towards them. His vision became blurry as tears threatened to fall from his wet lashes. He blinked hard, trying to dispel them and maintain a straight face as he came to terms with the fact that he had been stood up.

He pulled his jumper sleeves past his fingers - something he did when he was nervous - and wiped his eyes discreetly. He gazed out of the huge French windows he was sitting beside, trying to take deep breaths and tell himself that he’s fine, that everything was fine.Just as Dan was starting to calm down, the waiter showed up for a second time, asking Dan if he would be joined by company soon.

Dan just sighed, trying to convince him that his date would be arriving soon. He was embarrassed as it was, and the waiter’s smug expression didn’t help his confidence.

“Yes don’t worry, my boyfriend will be showing up soon and then we’ll order.”, he huffed out for a third time, gritting his teeth in exasperation.

The waiter gave him a disgusted look upon hearing the word “boyfriend” but covered it up with an uninviting smile before Dan could react. He gave Dan a withering look and went back to a corner from where he fixed his unwavering gaze on him.

Dan felt awful. He couldn’t believe Brendon, his boyfriend of two months had stood him up. He knew how anxious and awkward Dan got in social situations, and yet he did this to him, not bothering to call him and cancel the date.

Dan didn’t know what to do, his appetite lost. He decided to just order something and ask the waiter to pack it for him and leave the restaurant as soon as possible. With a defeated expression he gestured for the waiter to come over, trying hard to ignore the presumptuous smile on his face. He didn’t meet his gaze as he opened his mouth to speak, and just as he was about to admit to the waiter that company would not be arriving after all, a tall man burst through the doors Dan was seated across from, striding over to his table - his black hair in a windblown quiff- and sliding into the seat beside him as he removed his dark sunglasses and smiled warmly.  

“Aw babe, I’m sorry I’m so late”, he said nonchalantly as he shrugged off his jacket,“traffic was nightmare”. He leaned across the table, engulfing Dan in a warm hug as the waiter’s hawk-like eyes watched them from a corner. Dan didn’t mind being hugged by the man - if only he knew what the fuck was happening. As the man pulled back, he leaned into Dan’s cheek and poked it with his nose - and Dan made a surprised choking sound when he realized that he was trying to show the waiter that he was kissing Dan’s cheeks.

Dan was too stunned to react, and by the time he wrapped his head around the fact that a gorgeous man with dreamy blue eyes and black hair was seated next to him where his date was supposed to be sitting, the waiter had already left with a disgusted and defeated expression.

The man turned back from where he was staring at the retreating waiter and gave Dan a warm smile that made him forget that he was literally a stranger he knew nothing about. He ducked in close to Dan’s ears, out of earshot of the nosy waiter and whispered, “My name’s Phil by the way. Just go with it and don’t freak out yeah?”, he said softly, his blue-green eyes glinting as sunlight washed his face in an angelic glow.  A warm glow spread across Dan’s chest and for some inexplicable reason he decided he trusted this stranger - Phil- and he didn’t mind pretending that this wildly attractive man was his actual date.

“Oh and whoever didn’t show up is a dick. If I was in their place I wouldn’t have missed this for the world.”, he added, pink dusting his pale cheeks as he softly whispered.

“T- thanks”, Dan finally spoke up, his face and neck covered in a light blush. “My name’s Dan actually, Dan Howell, and thank you so much for helping me out. I couldn’t have handled that snobbish waiter alone”, he added with a giggle, slowly getting comfortable around Phil.  

Phil just smiled in reply, extending his arm and placing his left hand on top of Dan’s that were resting on the table. Dan’s eyes widened slightly, his blush turning darker by the minute. It seemed as though Dan had been blushing a lot since Phil walked in - and with good reason too - it’s not everyday a handsome stranger with the prettiest eyes offers to fill in for your douche bag of a date.

They sat there talking for a few minutes during which Dan discovered Phil was a writer who wrote for various magazines. There was something about him, Dan realized, that made him want to get to know him better. Whether it was the way Phil’s lips curled upwards in a sharp smile at the smallest things, or the way he talked passionately about how much he loved painting, his hands jerking up in animated gestures when his words weren’t enough. Finally Dan decided he liked how easygoing and carefree Phil was, with his confident aura and his dumb dad jokes.

Soon enough Phil gestured to the waiter to bring them menus, and keeping in mind that Dan had bad anxiety, even offered to make Dan’s order for him.

The rest of the afternoon went by quite smoothly as the two talked about anime and books and their mutual dislike for sports.

At one point Phil had said, much to Dan’s surprise at his openness, that “sex is probably the only exercise I ever get, otherwise I’d be dead by now!” Dan had just choked on his drink and coughed until Phil decided to stop laughing and help him out.

Dan had claimed the only reason he wasn’t dead was green tea and “..not.. s-sex like you”, he had laughed.

“You do know I’m joking right? I mean I’m not one of those guys who sleeps around all the time”

“I mean there’s nothing wrong with sleeping around.. monogamy is just a social construct y'know?” “You don’t have to follow social constructs”, he had added as an after thought.

Phil had just stared at him for a few seconds until his face broke into a sharp smile as he said,“Finally someone who thinks the same way. You, Dan, are my kind of guy”

Phil had come to realize that the boy he had decided to help out was more than just a nervous, shy guy with blush-y cheeks and soft smiles. He actually enjoyed talking to Dan, they had the same opinions about everything, except Mario Kart where they both claimed they could “beat the other’s ass”

“Wha- Dan! You just said a potty word!”, Phil had mocked him, mimicking a small child. Dan just shoved him off with a soft giggle before quickly giving him the finger, making sure that no one noticed.

Phil gasped loudly, trying to maintain a disappointed look as he tutted in mock-disgust. “Well, well Mister Daniel, look at you, not the nice innocent boy after all, are you?”

“Hey I’m so innocent I could be a priest in a church!”

“Hmm you’d be Sister Daniel, I quite like the sound of that”, Phil chuckled.

“Shut up”

“Make me”

“You really think I’m gonna fall for that cheesy line”, Dan giggled, his eyes shining with humour.

“Yeah?”, Phil answered, his voice a bit deeper than it had been a minute ago.

“Well try harder”, Dan giggled, winking at Phil for dramatic effect. Phil took in a sharp breath, deciding two could play at this game.

The rest of the afternoon was spent with Phil trying to make Dan laugh with really cringe-y pick-up lines.

“Hey Dan, are you Gillette?” - Dan gave him a confused expression - “cause you’re the best a man can get”, Phil finished with a giggle.

“Oh for fucks sake”, Dan snorted, “that was horrible!”

“Hey Dan hey this one’s really good listen!”, Phil said excitedly, his expression resembling the one of an excited puppy, and Dan just couldn’t say no.

“Are you my pinkie toe? Because I want to bang you against every piece of furniture in the house”, Phil finished with a giggle, blushing madly as he waited for Dan’s reaction, slightly worried that he may have crossed a line.

Turns out he hadn’t, because Dan started howling with laughter, making the man at a nearby table throw them some more dirty looks. As his laughter subsided, his face a mad shade of red, Dan whined, “Phiwww we’re in public you can’t say that”, a playful glint in his eyes.

“Are you saying if we weren’t in public you’d be okay with me saying that?”, Phil teased.

Dan’s eyes widened and he mumbled out a soft “maybe?” before giving Phil a playful shove and a “Shut up! dickhead”

“sister Daniel just said another potty word!”, Phil gasped

“If you say that again I will not hesitate to punch you”

“Look at us, fighting like a real couple”, Phil said winking cheekily.

“Did I not just tell you to shut up”

“Did I not just tell you to make me?”

“I would if the waiter wasn’t watching us right now”, Dan hissed before he could stop himself.

“wait.. what?”

“W-what?”, Dan squeaked in panic, looking like a dear caught in headlights.

“Don’t think I will forget you said that, Howell”, Phil winked, taking a bite of his pasta even as Dan kicked his shin to wipe that smug expression off his face.

———-

Just as they finished having dessert, the waiter returned with their bill, and both the boys instinctively reached for their wallet.

“Oh no babe, I’m paying don’t worry”, Phil said with a smile that made Dan wander whether it was necessary for Phil to call him cute nicknames or if he was doing it for fun.

“umm.. we could jut split it..‘darling’?..”, the last part of his sentence came out more like a question and Phil had to bite back a laugh because of how flustered Dan looked.

“No, Dan, I was the one who asked you out on this date so I’m paying. Quit arguing love.”, Phil said with a gentle smile.

The waiter gave them a weird look, as if not entirely understanding the situation.  

“Yeah okay butt cheeks.. i mean  sweet cheeks - I mean wha-” Dan’s eyes widened as he was about to mumble out an apology and maybe go hide at home for 5 years because he couldn’t even speak like a normal person.

Dan couldn’t finish that train wreck of a sentence, however, because suddenly Phil was leaning in, their faces now inches apart as they shared warm breaths. Dan’s breathing was labored, his eyes half lidded and cheeks dusted with pink, their lips almost brushing but not quite.

“Dan shh shh it’s okay calm down bear, you’re alright, yeah?”, Phil mumbled softly, not pulling back. When Dan slowly began to calm down he softly asked, “Can I kiss you?”, his blue eyes searching Dan’s brown ones.

Dan had barely nodded his assent when suddenly Phil’s lips were on his, warm and soft, moving lazily and determinedly even as Dan hesitantly kissed back. Phil tasted of mint and cherries from the dessert he had ordered,and Dan was sure some people were looking at them with disgusted expressions, but for the first time in his life he didn’t care what the people thought.

They left the restaurant giggling like shool boys because Phil had used another pick up line.

“Dan this ones actually good, I promise”, he giggled. “Did you s it in a pile of sugar? because you have a sweet ass”

“I- PHIL-what”, Dan sputtered laughing hysterically. “These would get you more restraining orders than dates honestly.”

“You’re just jealous of my flirting skills”

“You don’t have any flirting skills”

“Is that why you’ve been blushing so much? Because my flirting skills are shit?”, Phil asked, a cocky smile playing on his lips.

“I hate you”

“No you don’t. You think I’m adorable”

“Fine whatever makes you shut up”, Dan rolled his eyes  jokingly.

Phil dropped Dan at his house on his motorbike, ignoring all of Dan’s comments about how he could just go back himself. And he would be lying if he said he didn’t secretly enjoy it every time Dan wrapped his arms around his torso because he was going too fast. Phil thought it was really adorable how scared Dan was and Dan thought Phil looked really hot riding a bike so neither of them had anything to complain about really.

“So I guess I’ll see you around then?”, Phil asked uncertainly as he scratched the back of his head, looking at his shoes.

Dan decided he had to act now if he wanted to see Phil again, and for once swallowing his fear and anxiousness he said, “gi- give me your phone?”

“What?”, Phil’s eyes lit up expectantly, he had not expected Dan to want to talk to him again.

“Phil I’m very nervous rightnowpleasejustgimmeyourphonesoIcansavemynumberandthenwecanmeetagain”

“what? Yeah okay here you go”, Phil quickly took out his phone, handing it to Dan who looked just as flustered as Phil felt.

Dan quickly saved his number on Phil’s phone, handing it back to him before turning around towards the building he lived in.

just as Phil was restarting his bike Dan quickly went back up to him, kissing his cheek softly as Phil let out a flustered gasp. “Thank you for making my day Phil, you’re the best”

“Am I now?”

“Shut up! I’ll call you”, Dan said, a smile playing on his lips as he walked into the building. Maybe being stood up wasn’t the worst thing in the world.

~ 15 minutes later~

To Dan : Is your offer on shutting me up still valid? ;)

To Phil : yeah :3 I will shut you up when we meet this weekend.

To Dan : we’re meeting this weekend?

To Phil : we are now. But only because I wanna shut you up. :)

To Dan : sure babe if that’s what you wanna believe

—————————————————————————————–

okay so this is pretty shit.

but if somehow you liked it please like/share/reblog :)

also, English isn’t my first language so sorry if there are any errors

9

just a friendly reminder that Audrey Middleton is an amazing person and has more talent, grace, and game ability in her fucking pinkie toe than C*dy, J*son, or J*ssica have in their entire bodies combined

When you let out a soft moan after hitting something

@ranmin10 asked : BTS reaction to you hitting something and let out a soft moan ;)

Namjoon

You kiss Namjoon’s cheek before you leave him to his work. When you’re about to open the Monstudio’s door, you drop your phone on the floor. You lean lo grab it and straighten up quickly, forgetting there’s a wall shelf above your head. You hit it hard and let out a soft moan, tears blurring your vision. When he hears your tiny moan, Namjoon turns around and looks at you with his eyebrows raised « Baby ? What was that ? » But when he sees you holding your head, your body bended towards the ground, he gets up and takes you in his arms. He strokes your head and retains laughters, finding you too cute to be true.

Taehyung

Taehyung is working on his computer while you’re on Tumblr, seated on the sofa just behind him. You get up to take an apple in the kitchen’s counter but hit the low table, right on your knee. You moan, falling back on the sofa, holding your whines. Taehyung stops what he’s doing and looks at you, his face totally blank. Your moan just turned him on in just a second. Tae straightens up and kneels before you, his hands on your knee. He strokes it and whispers « Better ? » You grin under the touch of his finger right on your bruise. Tae leans and kisses your knee, his hands going up on your thigh. He looks at you, his lips brushing your skin, and whispers again « And now ? »

Jin

You moan when you hit your elbow on the bookcase. You realize it was kinda sexual and close your eyes, waiting for your boyfriend to say something about it. And he does. Jin frowns « What was that ? » You sigh, crossing his glance as you massage your elbow. Jin gets closer and asks with a playful voice « Does that felt good, baby ? » You give him a cold glance and turn around, ready to pout for at least 5 minutes. Jin doesn’t let you go and grabs you by your waist, pulling you closer as he kisses you softly, making you smile against his mouth.

Hoseok

You know the worst pain ever ? When you hit your pinky toe ? Yeah. You fall on the couch, curled up under the pain, moaning softly as the pain seems to increase. Hoseok jumps on you in a blink of an eye, making you startle. He places himself above you, juste between your legs, and kisses your entire face « Are you okay, Jagi ? Ohhhh, my baby… » Hobi never fails to bring back your smile. You giggle and pass your arms around his neck, bringing him closer. As he leaves kisses on your neck, he whispers playfully « Why are you sexy even when you hurt yourself ? »

Yoongi

t’s not very often that Yoongi lets you stay with him while he’s working. You’re like a 5 years old, drawing next to him, trying your best to be as quiet as possible. And not to stare, too. It’s the most difficult part of the deal. You’re currently failing, your eyes wandering on his cute lips. You twiddle your paper and cut yourself. You can’t help but moan, pressing your finger in your hand. Yoongi sighs « Do you have to make everything sexual ? Don’t you see I’m working ? » You whisper « sorry » and lower your head, watching the little cut getting bloody. You don’t see him but Yoongi feels guilty as fuck for being too harsh on you. He takes your hand and slowly kisses your finger. It makes you smile and washes away the pain.

Jimin

You walk around the living-room and get too close to the table. You hit your thigh right on the corner of the table and moan softly, brushing your hand on the bruise. It hurts so bad it kinda makes you angry. You moan a little harder and suddenly hears Jimin laughs. You don’t have time to turn around : Jimin passes his arms around your waist and hugs you tight, kissing your cheek as he giggles « My baby… Are you okay ? Damn, that moan was cute… » His softness makes you laugh too, but his cuteness transforms in sexiness the minute his wet lips leaves kisses on your shoulder.

Jungkook

You get out of the shower and grab your bathrobe. As you tie the belt around your waist, you hit your elbow on the shower cabin and let out a soft moan. You hear Jungkook’s giggles but you don’t pay attention to him, this little brat is always making fun of you. You massage your elbow and let out a few more moans, annoyed by the pain. This time, your hear fast footsteps and startle when you see Jungkook. He lifts you up in his arms and sinks his gaze on yours. He’s not laughing anymore. « Stop, you’re turning me on. »