pinky-toe

Black women: make a bunch of hit songs about how they love black men.

Black women: make music videos about love starring, almost exclusively, black men as their romantic interests.

Black women: statistically the least likely to date outside their race.

White woman: *moves her left pinky toe on time to the downbeat.

Black men: “yall god damn nappy headed weave wearing black Bitches better watch out! These wonderful white beckys coming for yall!” gets thousands of likes and retweets from other black men cosigning.

Black women:….maybe we should rethink our stance…

Black men: *loses mind* FINE go head and kill the community if u want, bed wench.


Black women:

Originally posted by jmsv

Humans are Weird

Okay so I’ve been reading a lot of the humans are weird things and a lot of them have to do with how crazy durable humans are. Like everyone talks about how crazy it is that people can walk for miles on broken legs or manage to keep fighting with major wounds or manage to lift cars if another person is stuck under one. But like no one seems to mention the exact opposite.

People can do all these crazy things because their adrenaline kicks in but like, we only get spikes of adrenaline when it’s absolutely necessary. Humans also get like super incapacitated by little paper cuts or an eyelash caught in their eye.

“Human-Jo why are you limping like that? Did you break a leg? Should I help you to the med bay?”

“Nah I’ll be okay I just stubbed my pinky toe.”

“But on our last mission I saw you pilot an escape pod with a broken arm! Why can you not overcome this small injury?”

“Crazy what you can do on an adrenaline rush right?”

The Disastrous Production of Howard Hughes’ 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea

Disney’s 1954 production of Jules Verne’s 20,000 Leagues by Richard Fleischer has long been the definitive cinematic version of the story. But it was not the first to enter production. In 1946, famous billionaire Howard Hughes attempted to make the film, following “The Outlaw” which would become his final completed film as director. The production would become one of Hollywood’s greatest disasters, taking the lives of over 90 actors and crew, costing nearly half a billion dollars (adjusted for inflation), destroying an entire island, and almost causing a third world war.

As the second world war drew to a close, Hughes was setting his sights on what he intended to be his magnum opus. Verne’s book had long been an inspiration to Hughes, in part inspiring his ventures into nautical enterprises, including the construction of the “Mahogany Mackerel,” one of the largest ships ever to sail. A party was held to mark the start of production at one of Hughes’ seaside homes outside of San Francisco (the mansion is now the home of director David Fincher), and was sadly marred when a drunken Hughes began shooting into the air with his crossbow and killed an albatross, which fell into the punch bowl.

The party featured the intended stars of the film, actors Gene Kelly, Gregory Peck, and Orson Welles who would portray Captain Nemo. It was an early blow to the film when all three actors departed the production on its first day due to infighting over an unsuccessful orgy the prior week. This caused a massive production delay during which Hughes bought up over 50 warehouses (including the world’s largest building at the time) to hold the sets and specially built water tanks until casting was replenished.

Two of these warehouses burned down (including the world’s largest building fire at the time), destroying the sets which then had to be rebuilt. By the time Hughes decided to cast unknown actors in the lead roles, ten more major set pieces had rotted away delaying the production further. Finally in October of 1948 the new sets and all actors were in place on the luxurious island of Bikini Atoll. The crew was to arrive at the shooting location on October 26th but was delayed by weather. This turned out to be a good thing as the United States conducted an unannounced nuclear test on October 27th, annihilating the island and the sets completely. The island is still not inhabitable to this day, and Howard Hughes, who owned the island, was compensated only $212 (adjusted for inflation) for his losses by the government.

Undeterred, Hughes began again with fresh sets, and new actors as the previous group had long since departed by 1950. This time, production finally began and footage was shot. It was never developed however because despite the expenditure of $800,000 (adjusted for inflation) on pyrotechnics for the first scenes shot, nobody had thought to temperature-protect the film canisters, which were opened at the lab and found to have melted completely into what amounted to large plastic hockey pucks. Hughes filmed the scene again, at the same cost, and then a third time when he was not satisfied with a background extra’s hair. This new footage too was lost when it was captured by rebellious 1950s teenagers who held it for ransom. They asked only $50 (adjusted for inflation) but Hughes refused to pay on principle.

The actors and crew were even more upset than Hughes that their work had been for nothing and so began the “Leagues Riots” of 1951. What sets remained were once more burned down, this time in protest. The lead actors were rehearsing in the sets at the time and all died of smoke inhalation. Hughes was also injured in an unrelated accident on the same day when he flew an experimental plane on its first test flight. He managed to steer the wayward jet back to his own property but missed the runway and instead crashed into another set, which had already been rigged for pyrotechnics the previous night, resulting in the loss of the set, pyro, plane, Hughes left pinky toe, and over 30 million dollars in production costs (adjusted for inflation).

Then the real problems began.

Hughes replaced the lead actor with Sam Normanjensen, once thought to be an great star on the rise. Unfortunately he was also a serial killer known then as the Sherman Oaks Ripper. He had killed 17 actors before he was cast, and filmed for only two weeks before he slaughtered and ate the spleen of one of his co-stars. Hughes was exonerated of any negligence but only after 50 million dollars (adjusted for inflation) in court fees and settlements with the actors family, one member of which visited the set on a later filming day to fire his pistol randomly at the remaining cast in anger, killing two more, wounding Hughes who lost his right testicle, and destroying a filming balloon that was the largest air vehicle ever built at the time (adjusted for inflation).

It was then that the Verne family withdrew their rights from the plagued production. Another legal battle cost in the millions, and by the time it was over in 1952, the sets had once again rotted away and had to be rebuilt. By that time, the Disney production was under way and Hughes spent millions more to spy on and sabotage the rival production. Several Disney employees fell victims to car bombs, others to arsenic poisoning, and one to auto-erotic asphyxiation, but Hughes was not considered responsible for that particular event. Walt Disney, of course, declared war.

The “War Between The Sets” began in 1953 as Hughes forces were driven off by Disney’s hired guns, the Mouseketeers which in those days were a fully armed paramilitary force. This skirmish took seven lives, but it was only the beginning. Hughes used his government contracts to secure two bombers and arms weighing in excess of 500 tons, all of which were dropped on Disney owned installations. Disney’s retaliation was severe. Hughes hotels burned days after, there were so many fires that Vegas and LA were both lit as bright as daylight even at midnight from the blazes. Hughes responded with bombings and drone strikes, with “drone strikes” in 1953 referring to dropping bees on ones enemy. One such strike which killed Disney’s allergic son, Walt Disney III (There was no Walt Disney II as Walt felt that talent skipped a generation). The conflict at one point threatened to spill over into Russia’s Southern American interests, leading the president to demand Hughes back down before turning the cold war into a nuclear conflict.

By the time a truce was called, Disney’s film was in theaters and Hughes was ready to call it a loss. He became reclusive and wasn’t seen much in public from that time on. Disney continued to be one of the largest entertainment companies in the world, and remains the producer of the most definitive adaptation of 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea.

The book has not been adapted since, but David Fincher’s new version begins filming next week on a budget over 200 million dollars. Sadly, the production has already seen its first fatality, when fireworks during the production party at Fincher’s San Francisco home went astray and killed an albatross. 

We at FIJMU wish Fincher the best of luck on his upcoming production. He’s going to need it.

My epic list of casual curses

A few months ago, someone broke my heart by dumping me for another girl.  In my sadness, I unleashed an outpour of 86 casual curses on my facebook wall as a way of venting my feelings.

Here is that list.

May you bite into a big chunk of garlic so your mouth feels funny for the next few days.

May a condom commercial come on tv while you’re in the room with your girlfriends dad.

May you stub your toe on every piece of furniture in your apartment.

May you over-salt every meal you try to cook.

May all of your pillows smell of feet.

May your toast always burn, and may no amount of scraping remove the black parts.

May your pen leak all over a drawing that was coming along really well.

May your teeth become very cold-sensitive.

May your mailbox be clogged with advertisements.

May you clog the toilet the first time you go to a new friends house.

May you always have an unsettling feeling of bugs crawling all over you when you’re trying to fall asleep.

May you always step in a funky-colored liquid after putting on socks.

May your ice cream always be frost burnt.

May every vending machine eat or reject your dollar.

May that “silent” fart come out surprisingly loudly.

May you develop erectile dysfunction.

May you step on a d4

May every toilet seat you sit on be either uncomfortably cold or uncomfortably warm.

May the elastic on all of your underwear give out.

May you always have a zit right on the inside of your nostril.

May you always have to pee while a cat is sitting on your lap.

May your next-door neighbor buy a set of bagpipes and practice every night until 4 in the morning.

May your favorite sweater shrink in the dryer.

May you get busted for illegally downloading something.

May you always have that feeling of having to sneeze.

May you fart in the middle of making out with someone.

May all of your favorite shows and movies be removed from Netflix.

May you get an un-hideable hickey right before you go visit your grandmother.

May there always be a pebble in your shoe.

May you spill your drink in your lap so it looks like you peed yourself. May this happen right before a date.

May your significant other forget your birthday.

May you run out of toilet paper, paper towels, and kleenex, and then get food poisoning.

May you always lose your chapstick.

May a flock of noisy geese start hanging out right outside of your bedroom window.

May the delivery guy always forget your drink.

May you take a giant drink of milk right out of the carton, only to discover its gone bad.

May your cup runneth over… with hot coffee.

May Autocorrect punish you.

May you always overdraft your bank account by like a dollar and have to pay a stupidly large fee.

May you find something really gross in the bottom of your cup of coffee after you’ve already finished it.

May you be the one to discover that there is a hole in the oven mitt.

May you step on this ungodly hybrid. (picture of a lego with a thumbtack stuck through it).

May you have an unforgivable Freudian slip.

May your roommate get addicted to a really irritating song and play it constantly.

May your most embarrassing tumblr post go viral.

May you be cursed with ingrown hairs that look like herpes.

May you suddenly become uncomfortably aware of your tongue.

May you get the hiccups during a phone interview for a job you really want.

May every surface you touch be sticky.

May your acne never go away.

May you always die in a video game just before you reach a checkpoint.

May your life develop a laugh track.

May your laundry always come out of a dryer a little bit damp.

May your favorite book be adapted into a terrible movie.

May you get a blister on the side of your pinkie toe.

May the spoon fall into the bowl every time you eat soup.

May you have to close every open tab because you can’t figure out where the music is coming from.

May you slice your finger while cutting up a lemon.

May you hit every red light.

May that unreachable spot on your back always itch.

May someone set the child censorship thingy on your netflix account.

May the YMCA song get stuck in your head for the next six months.

May all of your exes suddenly get really really hot.

May you develop a persistent itch on the inside of your nose.

May netflix cut out on you every few minutes for the rest of your life.

May you always get called in to work on your day off.

May you never find a job in your chosen field.

May your name become synonymous with the word “asshole” in someones circle of friends.

May all the cheese and toppings fall off of your pizza.

May you suddenly become lactose intolerant.

And gluten intolerant.

May you always think of epic comebacks two hours after an argument.

May your water heater suddenly crap out in the middle of winter.

May every table or chair you sit on/at have uneven legs.

May you never find a comfortable sleeping position again.

May you accidentally send a sexy text message to your mom.

May you always wake up two minutes before your alarm goes off.

May your roommate suddenly develop a habit of chewing way too loudly.

May every book or TV series you ever watch get spoiled.

May every selfie you post for the rest of your life get zero likes.

May the barista always give you decaf by accident.

May you always burn your tongue on your hot chocolate so you can’t even taste it.

May a bee fly into your mouth while you’re biking.

May someone always flick a cigarette butt into your can of soda. Even if nobody’s in the room with you.

May all of your favorite videos on youtube get deleted.

May you always end up in the line for the slowest cashier.

I hope that from here to eternity, every time you try to download something, your computer crashes when its at 99%

The moral is, never cheat on me.  And feel free to use any of these in your everyday life.

Stood Up?

Summary : Dan gets stood up and Phil (a stranger) decides to act as his date so that Dan doesn’t feel bad. Also because he thinks Dan is kinda cute.

words : 2457

Genre: fluff

Dan squirmed in his seat, shifting uncomfortably and fidgeting with his hair as his stomach tied into knots and realization crept onto him. His face burned with humiliation as the occupants of the nearby table stared at him with a pitiful expression, looking away as soon as Dan turned his gaze towards them. His vision became blurry as tears threatened to fall from his wet lashes. He blinked hard, trying to dispel them and maintain a straight face as he came to terms with the fact that he had been stood up.

He pulled his jumper sleeves past his fingers - something he did when he was nervous - and wiped his eyes discreetly. He gazed out of the huge French windows he was sitting beside, trying to take deep breaths and tell himself that he’s fine, that everything was fine.Just as Dan was starting to calm down, the waiter showed up for a second time, asking Dan if he would be joined by company soon.

Dan just sighed, trying to convince him that his date would be arriving soon. He was embarrassed as it was, and the waiter’s smug expression didn’t help his confidence.

“Yes don’t worry, my boyfriend will be showing up soon and then we’ll order.”, he huffed out for a third time, gritting his teeth in exasperation.

The waiter gave him a disgusted look upon hearing the word “boyfriend” but covered it up with an uninviting smile before Dan could react. He gave Dan a withering look and went back to a corner from where he fixed his unwavering gaze on him.

Dan felt awful. He couldn’t believe Brendon, his boyfriend of two months had stood him up. He knew how anxious and awkward Dan got in social situations, and yet he did this to him, not bothering to call him and cancel the date.

Dan didn’t know what to do, his appetite lost. He decided to just order something and ask the waiter to pack it for him and leave the restaurant as soon as possible. With a defeated expression he gestured for the waiter to come over, trying hard to ignore the presumptuous smile on his face. He didn’t meet his gaze as he opened his mouth to speak, and just as he was about to admit to the waiter that company would not be arriving after all, a tall man burst through the doors Dan was seated across from, striding over to his table - his black hair in a windblown quiff- and sliding into the seat beside him as he removed his dark sunglasses and smiled warmly.  

“Aw babe, I’m sorry I’m so late”, he said nonchalantly as he shrugged off his jacket,“traffic was nightmare”. He leaned across the table, engulfing Dan in a warm hug as the waiter’s hawk-like eyes watched them from a corner. Dan didn’t mind being hugged by the man - if only he knew what the fuck was happening. As the man pulled back, he leaned into Dan’s cheek and poked it with his nose - and Dan made a surprised choking sound when he realized that he was trying to show the waiter that he was kissing Dan’s cheeks.

Dan was too stunned to react, and by the time he wrapped his head around the fact that a gorgeous man with dreamy blue eyes and black hair was seated next to him where his date was supposed to be sitting, the waiter had already left with a disgusted and defeated expression.

The man turned back from where he was staring at the retreating waiter and gave Dan a warm smile that made him forget that he was literally a stranger he knew nothing about. He ducked in close to Dan’s ears, out of earshot of the nosy waiter and whispered, “My name’s Phil by the way. Just go with it and don’t freak out yeah?”, he said softly, his blue-green eyes glinting as sunlight washed his face in an angelic glow.  A warm glow spread across Dan’s chest and for some inexplicable reason he decided he trusted this stranger - Phil- and he didn’t mind pretending that this wildly attractive man was his actual date.

“Oh and whoever didn’t show up is a dick. If I was in their place I wouldn’t have missed this for the world.”, he added, pink dusting his pale cheeks as he softly whispered.

“T- thanks”, Dan finally spoke up, his face and neck covered in a light blush. “My name’s Dan actually, Dan Howell, and thank you so much for helping me out. I couldn’t have handled that snobbish waiter alone”, he added with a giggle, slowly getting comfortable around Phil.  

Phil just smiled in reply, extending his arm and placing his left hand on top of Dan’s that were resting on the table. Dan’s eyes widened slightly, his blush turning darker by the minute. It seemed as though Dan had been blushing a lot since Phil walked in - and with good reason too - it’s not everyday a handsome stranger with the prettiest eyes offers to fill in for your douche bag of a date.

They sat there talking for a few minutes during which Dan discovered Phil was a writer who wrote for various magazines. There was something about him, Dan realized, that made him want to get to know him better. Whether it was the way Phil’s lips curled upwards in a sharp smile at the smallest things, or the way he talked passionately about how much he loved painting, his hands jerking up in animated gestures when his words weren’t enough. Finally Dan decided he liked how easygoing and carefree Phil was, with his confident aura and his dumb dad jokes.

Soon enough Phil gestured to the waiter to bring them menus, and keeping in mind that Dan had bad anxiety, even offered to make Dan’s order for him.

The rest of the afternoon went by quite smoothly as the two talked about anime and books and their mutual dislike for sports.

At one point Phil had said, much to Dan’s surprise at his openness, that “sex is probably the only exercise I ever get, otherwise I’d be dead by now!” Dan had just choked on his drink and coughed until Phil decided to stop laughing and help him out.

Dan had claimed the only reason he wasn’t dead was green tea and “..not.. s-sex like you”, he had laughed.

“You do know I’m joking right? I mean I’m not one of those guys who sleeps around all the time”

“I mean there’s nothing wrong with sleeping around.. monogamy is just a social construct y'know?” “You don’t have to follow social constructs”, he had added as an after thought.

Phil had just stared at him for a few seconds until his face broke into a sharp smile as he said,“Finally someone who thinks the same way. You, Dan, are my kind of guy”

Phil had come to realize that the boy he had decided to help out was more than just a nervous, shy guy with blush-y cheeks and soft smiles. He actually enjoyed talking to Dan, they had the same opinions about everything, except Mario Kart where they both claimed they could “beat the other’s ass”

“Wha- Dan! You just said a potty word!”, Phil had mocked him, mimicking a small child. Dan just shoved him off with a soft giggle before quickly giving him the finger, making sure that no one noticed.

Phil gasped loudly, trying to maintain a disappointed look as he tutted in mock-disgust. “Well, well Mister Daniel, look at you, not the nice innocent boy after all, are you?”

“Hey I’m so innocent I could be a priest in a church!”

“Hmm you’d be Sister Daniel, I quite like the sound of that”, Phil chuckled.

“Shut up”

“Make me”

“You really think I’m gonna fall for that cheesy line”, Dan giggled, his eyes shining with humour.

“Yeah?”, Phil answered, his voice a bit deeper than it had been a minute ago.

“Well try harder”, Dan giggled, winking at Phil for dramatic effect. Phil took in a sharp breath, deciding two could play at this game.

The rest of the afternoon was spent with Phil trying to make Dan laugh with really cringe-y pick-up lines.

“Hey Dan, are you Gillette?” - Dan gave him a confused expression - “cause you’re the best a man can get”, Phil finished with a giggle.

“Oh for fucks sake”, Dan snorted, “that was horrible!”

“Hey Dan hey this one’s really good listen!”, Phil said excitedly, his expression resembling the one of an excited puppy, and Dan just couldn’t say no.

“Are you my pinkie toe? Because I want to bang you against every piece of furniture in the house”, Phil finished with a giggle, blushing madly as he waited for Dan’s reaction, slightly worried that he may have crossed a line.

Turns out he hadn’t, because Dan started howling with laughter, making the man at a nearby table throw them some more dirty looks. As his laughter subsided, his face a mad shade of red, Dan whined, “Phiwww we’re in public you can’t say that”, a playful glint in his eyes.

“Are you saying if we weren’t in public you’d be okay with me saying that?”, Phil teased.

Dan’s eyes widened and he mumbled out a soft “maybe?” before giving Phil a playful shove and a “Shut up! dickhead”

“sister Daniel just said another potty word!”, Phil gasped

“If you say that again I will not hesitate to punch you”

“Look at us, fighting like a real couple”, Phil said winking cheekily.

“Did I not just tell you to shut up”

“Did I not just tell you to make me?”

“I would if the waiter wasn’t watching us right now”, Dan hissed before he could stop himself.

“wait.. what?”

“W-what?”, Dan squeaked in panic, looking like a dear caught in headlights.

“Don’t think I will forget you said that, Howell”, Phil winked, taking a bite of his pasta even as Dan kicked his shin to wipe that smug expression off his face.

———-

Just as they finished having dessert, the waiter returned with their bill, and both the boys instinctively reached for their wallet.

“Oh no babe, I’m paying don’t worry”, Phil said with a smile that made Dan wander whether it was necessary for Phil to call him cute nicknames or if he was doing it for fun.

“umm.. we could jut split it..‘darling’?..”, the last part of his sentence came out more like a question and Phil had to bite back a laugh because of how flustered Dan looked.

“No, Dan, I was the one who asked you out on this date so I’m paying. Quit arguing love.”, Phil said with a gentle smile.

The waiter gave them a weird look, as if not entirely understanding the situation.  

“Yeah okay butt cheeks.. i mean  sweet cheeks - I mean wha-” Dan’s eyes widened as he was about to mumble out an apology and maybe go hide at home for 5 years because he couldn’t even speak like a normal person.

Dan couldn’t finish that train wreck of a sentence, however, because suddenly Phil was leaning in, their faces now inches apart as they shared warm breaths. Dan’s breathing was labored, his eyes half lidded and cheeks dusted with pink, their lips almost brushing but not quite.

“Dan shh shh it’s okay calm down bear, you’re alright, yeah?”, Phil mumbled softly, not pulling back. When Dan slowly began to calm down he softly asked, “Can I kiss you?”, his blue eyes searching Dan’s brown ones.

Dan had barely nodded his assent when suddenly Phil’s lips were on his, warm and soft, moving lazily and determinedly even as Dan hesitantly kissed back. Phil tasted of mint and cherries from the dessert he had ordered,and Dan was sure some people were looking at them with disgusted expressions, but for the first time in his life he didn’t care what the people thought.

They left the restaurant giggling like shool boys because Phil had used another pick up line.

“Dan this ones actually good, I promise”, he giggled. “Did you s it in a pile of sugar? because you have a sweet ass”

“I- PHIL-what”, Dan sputtered laughing hysterically. “These would get you more restraining orders than dates honestly.”

“You’re just jealous of my flirting skills”

“You don’t have any flirting skills”

“Is that why you’ve been blushing so much? Because my flirting skills are shit?”, Phil asked, a cocky smile playing on his lips.

“I hate you”

“No you don’t. You think I’m adorable”

“Fine whatever makes you shut up”, Dan rolled his eyes  jokingly.

Phil dropped Dan at his house on his motorbike, ignoring all of Dan’s comments about how he could just go back himself. And he would be lying if he said he didn’t secretly enjoy it every time Dan wrapped his arms around his torso because he was going too fast. Phil thought it was really adorable how scared Dan was and Dan thought Phil looked really hot riding a bike so neither of them had anything to complain about really.

“So I guess I’ll see you around then?”, Phil asked uncertainly as he scratched the back of his head, looking at his shoes.

Dan decided he had to act now if he wanted to see Phil again, and for once swallowing his fear and anxiousness he said, “gi- give me your phone?”

“What?”, Phil’s eyes lit up expectantly, he had not expected Dan to want to talk to him again.

“Phil I’m very nervous rightnowpleasejustgimmeyourphonesoIcansavemynumberandthenwecanmeetagain”

“what? Yeah okay here you go”, Phil quickly took out his phone, handing it to Dan who looked just as flustered as Phil felt.

Dan quickly saved his number on Phil’s phone, handing it back to him before turning around towards the building he lived in.

just as Phil was restarting his bike Dan quickly went back up to him, kissing his cheek softly as Phil let out a flustered gasp. “Thank you for making my day Phil, you’re the best”

“Am I now?”

“Shut up! I’ll call you”, Dan said, a smile playing on his lips as he walked into the building. Maybe being stood up wasn’t the worst thing in the world.

~ 15 minutes later~

To Dan : Is your offer on shutting me up still valid? ;)

To Phil : yeah :3 I will shut you up when we meet this weekend.

To Dan : we’re meeting this weekend?

To Phil : we are now. But only because I wanna shut you up. :)

To Dan : sure babe if that’s what you wanna believe

—————————————————————————————–

okay so this is pretty shit.

but if somehow you liked it please like/share/reblog :)

also, english isn’t my first language so sorry if there are any errors

The Dinner Party

just a random idea that came to me in a fever dream earlier this week. rated E for explicit smutty smut smut. enjoy!


“You want me to do what?”

Peeta frowned at her foot, wielding the nail polish brush threateningly. “First, I want you to hold still.” Katniss wriggled her toes defiantly but then obliged, hardly daring to breathe when he swiped the coral nail polish onto her big toe in nice, even strokes. It looked perfect, of course. He could always paint better than she could, even nails.

“Seriously, though. You want me to go to a dinner party with you?” she asked. He glanced up at her with a crooked smile before he started painting her next toenail.

“You make it sound like I’ve asked you to strip naked and run around the block or something,” he said, focusing on her toes. She snorted, then clamped her lips shut when he shot her a warning look. Snorting made her foot jiggle, apparently. “It’s just a dinner party. Delly asked everyone to bring a guest–someone, and I quote, ‘interesting.’ So I’m asking you.”

Katniss stared at the top of his head, his blond curls falling across his forehead as he worked. “But I don’t really know her. And what a weird stipulation,” she said with a laugh.

Peeta shrugged. “Delly likes her theme parties,” he muttered, tongue poking out the corner of his mouth as he delicately painted her pinky toe. Satisfied with his work, he shot her a triumphant smile. “And you’re the most interesting person I know.”

She rolled her eyes. “Says the guy who paints nails better than any girl I know.”

He gave her a look of mock offense. “Are you questioning my masculinity? You know how I feel about rigid gender roles.” Then he held up his hand, palm flat, fingers spread. “And who’s got a steadier hand than me?” She kicked playfully at his hand, and he made a noise of protest, grabbing her ankle to place her foot down on the coffee table. “Don’t mess up my hard work.”

Katniss slumped down into the couch, chewing on her lip. “You know I don’t like people. How am I supposed to be interesting around a bunch of strangers?”

Screwing the nail polish bottle shut, Peeta sat back on his hands. “Just think of it as a challenge. See how often you can work into the conversation that dry wit and razor-sharp sarcasm of yours without them realizing you’re insulting them.”

“Do you want people to hate me?” she asked wryly, folding her arms over her chest. He grinned.

“Delly said interesting. She didn’t say anything about likable.” He laughed when she flipped him off, then pushed off the floor to stand up. “I should head home. But I swear, if you just be yourself, people will love you.” She didn’t think it was that simple. Peeta never had to worry about getting people to like him; it just came naturally to him. But she didn’t argue the point, letting him pull her up from the couch. With cotton balls stuffed between her toes, she wobbled after him to the front door. Grabbing his jacket from the coat rack, he turned to her. “So you’ll come?”

Keep reading

RFA asking MC out for Valentine’s Day

I’m late, I’m late, for a very important date. Whoops. @mysnnyla asked for some headcanons about RFA asking MC out for Valentine’s Day. Some of the actual asking is, er…loosely interpreted. I meant to have this out by Tuesday but, again, whoops.

I absolutely adored the Valentine’s Day DLC and everyone who can should go play it! These are completely separate from that, so no DLC spoilers. ^^

Requests are open.~


✦ZEN:

  • he’s been planning this for a while
  • been dropping hints like crazy for a while too
  • but the date is approaching fast and he still hasn’t mentioned Valentine’s Day explicitly?
  • like what are you waiting for here, dude, ask already
  • finally it comes around and you’re lowkey upset
    • “Guess I am spending Valentine’s Day alone again…”
  • then your doorbell rings who in the world is coming at 8 am
  • he’s there, dressed in a white suit with a drozen red roses
  • music playing
  • then he starts to serenade you
  • you practically squeal once he’s done, but you hide it well or…not so well
    • “I was about to be really mad. Hmph.”
    • “I know. You’re so cute when you’re flustered, I couldn’t help it.”

✦Yoosung:

  • okay this boy
  • it’s not Valentine’s Day
  • it’s Valentine’s week
  • he spoils you more than usual all week
  • doesn’t play LOLOL at all, he’s spending all his free time with you
  • you’re loving every second of it you just adore each other so much
  • the day before, he brings home flowers and sets up a little indoor picnic for the two of you, lit by candles
  • when you get there he’s acting super nervous
  • face gets really red
    • “MC will you celebrate Valentine’s Day with me tomorrow?”
  • you laugh, give him a kiss on the cheek how is he so cute
    • “Of course, silly. But isn’t that what we’ve been doing all week?”
  • he’s already got the whole thing planned out in his head ofc

✦Jaehee:

  • Valentine’s Day is a really big day for bakeries
  • you two are pretty busy the whole week leading up to it
  • but she is not about to miss spending the evening with you
  • a few weeks before, she had brought it up, surprising you
    • “MC, what do you think about closing early on Valentine’s Day and going out somewhere nice?”
    • “Really?? I mean I’d love that, of course!”
  • you took a bit to get over your surprise but you were super happy so was she
  • ends up confessing that she’d had the reservations for you two booked for months
  • like even the person who took the reservation teased her a bit
  • but you loved it
  • she hums under her breath all day Valentine’s Day bc she is so happy to be going on an actual date with you that night

✦Jumin:

  • tbh he doesn’t even ask
  • why should he?
  • of course you’re spending Valentine’s Day with him and Elizabeth the 3rd
  • bc isn’t that what couples do? he’s pretty sure anyway
  • but until the day of he doesn’t really mention it
  • he assumes you know he hasn’t forgotten so there’s no reason to mention it
  • finally you end up asking him
    • “Jumin, do you know what day it is tomorrow?”
    • “Yes, it’s Tuesday. Why?” he’s either an idiot or a jerk at this point, no in between
  • you go to bed a little frustrated tbh
  • but when you wake up, it’s to the smell of breakfast in bed
  • then you look around and there’s flowers everywhere
  • it takes a minute for your brain to catch up
  • he kisses your forehead
    • “Strawberry pancakes, my love. Just like that first morning.”
    • “You’re quite cute when you’re confused. You should eat and put on the outfit I’ve bought you. We have quite a full day planned.”

✦Saeyoung:

  • as Valentine’s Day approaches, the gifts start rolling in
  • all of them made by him
  • (and all of them doubling as weapons)
  • (just in case)
  • on Valentine’s Day he installs an app on your phone when you look away
  • that takes over your screen every few hours with bad pickup lines and Valentine’s Day memes
    • “Is your name google? Because you have everything I’m searching for.”
    • “You remind me of my pinky toe. You’re small and cute and I’m probably going to bang you against the coffee table later tonight.”
    • “Baby you turn my floppy disk into a hard drive.”
  • and since you’re together he’s right there every time it happens and he loves you laughing at his dumb jokes you always did just get him
  • around dinnertime, the app takes over again and you notice him start to kind of blush from the corner of your eye
    • “My hair is red, cats make Zen sneeze, my Six Oh Six, stay the night with me please?”
  • when you say yes, he takes you out to a picnic he had set up out under the stars okay the ‘picnic’ is honey buddha chips and doctor pepper but it’s the thought that counts
Les Amis & Co. as ways I procrastinated studying in the last days
  • Enjolras:  There was a protest right outside my flat and they kept yelling slogans, distracting me.
  • Combeferre: I spent half an hour discussing the reasons of the protest with my flatmates and why it was counter-productive, 
  • Courfeyrac: I danced with my roommate to cheesy 90s songs 
  • Joly: I watched a video about how to survive a bear attack because you never know what might happen in the middle of a city. 
  • Bossuet: I made myself a cup of tea but while I was going back to the desk I hit my pinky toe and spilled the tea all over the book. 
  • Feuilly: I cleaned the flat because it looked like a dump.
  • Bahorel: My flatmates were discussing law and I just listened to them even though I was falling asleep. 
  • Jehan: I argued with my flatmates who want to convince me to wear fancy clothes tonight even if I don’t feel like it.
  • Grantaire: I wasted my time thinking “Studying this is pointless, I still won’t be able to make anything good in my life.” 
  • Eponine: I had left my book in the living room but in the corridor there was a person I didn’t feel like talking to, so I waited for them to go away. 
  • Musichetta: My flatmate was sick, so I made her a soup and a hot tea. 
  • Montparnasse: Someone stole my flatmate’s Nutella and we tried to identify the guilty parties.
  • Cosette: I argued with my flatmates because “No, girls, I don’t feel at ease going to a male strip club. Oh, the guest star is a famous porn star? Great. I still don’t want to come, thank you?”. 
  • Marius: I just spent some time headbutting the desk.
  • BONUS: Victor Hugo: I wasted my time writing this post.