ping machine

you are trapped
in a pinball machine
pinging aimlessly
they say you are crazy

you are trapped
in a cave with closed
eyes brighter than dark
they say you are only sad

you are a ship at sea
with broken masts and
no oars stranded in the iris
they say to pray

quarters always come
you trip over stones
your ship dips in crestwaves
they tell you you’re crazy

you join them
you think you
can’t be
the person you want to be
because of who
you are now

everyone thinks it
no-one is right

—  bg- noone is wrong

Bendy: … Thanks…

*Your efforts seem to be relatively effective, however the Searchers continue to emerge in smaller numbers, reaching earnestly towards Bendy.*

Searchers: P……L….E……A……S……E…….

*Bendy sits down and curls up, trying to block out the ghastly calls of the inky creatures.*

Bendy: I… I know… But they won’t leave me alone!

Bendy: No… No…! They don’t listen, they won’t listen! They never do!

*The Searchers appear to stop appearing, though Bendy’s tension doesn’t seem to dissipate…*

Bendy: Make them stop, make them stop! Please!

*Do any of you hear music…?*

( @mad-hatter-ison@kurarukisoldier@ninabee27​ )

Eisuke x MC Darling I Do

Eisuke and I were out to a family restaurant, much more to my liking than anywhere else he’s taken me.
“Thank you for taking me here, Eisuke.”
“I knew you would complain about it if I took you to a fancy restaurant. I just hope I can digest this food.”
I have an announcement for Eisuke tonight and going to a fancy restaurant isn’t going to help my nerves. I placed my handbag with the positive pregnancy test on the floor under the table and waited until dessert to tell him. I avoided alcohol for the night to my hardest effort against Eisuke’s consistency. The order was placed and the waiter left us alone.
“So Eisuke, I really wanted to tell you something tonight…so…I’m-”
“Shhh sweetie.”
Eisuke turned around in his seat to look at the crying child and they’re struggling parent trying to keep them quiet.
“For Gods sake, there’s no way I would ever have a child. What a burden.”
From the first word that left Eisuke’s mouth to the last, I felt my chest clench in an iron grip. My throat closed up and my hand shook with the test in my hand.
“… What were you saying?”
“… Nothing. It’s trivial.”
My grip on the test loosened as it fell back into my purse. I didn’t speak for the rest of the night as we went back to the hotel in Eisuke’s limo.

In bed I thought about the evening and if there really was a future with me and Eisuke. My body moved itself to my closet and suitcase while my mind still swirled with questions. Two hours of turning heads and I finally came to my resolve with a suitcase of my clothes and my work salary I had earned over the last four years… I had to leave. I left my phone to stop him from contacting me and left the hotel long before dawn. There was no going back now…goodbye Eisuke. I’ll always love you.

(19 years later)

“Mum, can I go out with Rin tonight? He invited me to this night club.”
“I don’t mind, Hiro, but please make sure your phone is charged and you stay with Rin. Don’t go off on your own.”
“Of course.” I gave my mum a quick hug before I rushed to grab my phone and wallet from upstairs.
Mums raised me on her own the whole of my life and I love her for it. She never raised me based on hate for dad, whoever he was, but she raised me on love and attention. She’s patient and she will always listen to my problems. I’ve been a good kid because I never want to get my mum into trouble but tonight will be a little different.
“Hiro! Rin’s here.”
“Coming!” I race down the stairs and give mum a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
“Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
“Goodnight Miss Knight.”
Rin and I shut the door behind us and I head for his car.
“Where are we going tonight, Hiro? Your mum said something about a night club.”
“That’s what I told her but that’s not what we’re doing.”
“… Since when do you lie to your mum? If we’re not going clubbing where are we going?”
“We, my friend, are going to a casino. This is the first time I’m lying to her and she won’t have to know about this.” Then off we go to the Tres Spades Hotel and Casino.

The room is filled with constant chatter, laughter and cheers of victory in the casino. The pinging of slot machines, roulette tables and chips being tossed around the betting tables, echoed in the room. We walk along red carpet that’s then met with golden walls and crystal chandeliers. Rin is wearing a pink shirt, white blazer and his skinny black jeans whereas I opted for my grey shirt, red tie, black blazer and black jeans.
“You’re really wearing that pink shirt?”
“It’s faded salmon!”
“It’s pink.”
“Remind me why you chose to come here tonight.”
“Well mum’s birthday is coming up soon and I want to treat her for once. I figured I would use my hundred dollar salary and multiply it by the end of the night.”
“You know you have to be good at these kind of games to win money, don’t you?”
“How hard can it be?…look roulette.” Just before the spin I placed five of my ten chips on the number 23. I could tell by everyone’s faces they thought I was crazy putting so much on a tile after just joining the game but the ball lands in the 23 like I expected. They looked dumbfounded and after moving around the casino and making my hundred into eight thousand, I had caught everyone’s attention.
I sat at the poker table where I planned to have my last game before calling it a night when the door to a grand staircase opens and a man descended the steps. He had a lavender shirt, a black blazer and trousers. His hair was brown and messy and his eyes were golden. They were also staring into my blue orbs that I had gotten from my mum. If it wasn’t for the eyes and age difference, we could have been brothers. Women flocked to his side in a second while a few others stayed near me. He stared at me coldly and took the seat across from me.
“Deal me in. You’ve piqued my interest.”
“And you are?”
“Don’t you know? I’m the king. The names Eisuke Ichinomiya.”
“Don’t think this is a place for you to act like a hero. Isn’t it past your bedtime little boy?”
“…I could say the same thing to you, grandpa.” The room filled with gasps and a few odd sniggers.
“…Let’s play.”

The room was completely silent as they all gathered around our table to watch us play. We were about equal in skill until eventually we got to the last round. All in. Eisuke placed a hundred grand worth of chips in the middle of the table.
“Sorry, highest I got is eight.”
“Ha! Typical. I knew a child like you wouldn’t have anything to play with.” He’s calling eight grand nothing?
“Does your mother know you’re here?”
“… I don’t need to tell her everything I do.”
“You know that’s a translation to mean ‘she doesn’t know and she doesn’t need to’. I’ll make you a deal. You win, you can leave with all the money on this table…but if I win…you call your mother and tell her to personally collect you from my hotel.” Wait, HIS hotel?!? I’m in real trouble now.
“Alright.” I placed my phone in the middle of the table and his mouth curved into a smug grin. The cards were dealt and I found myself with a full house. Nice. I turned my cards around and everyone around me started murmuring between themselves. Eisuke saw my full house and then he turned his cards around. A royal straight flush. Shit!
People around me patted me on the shoulder in sympathy as I sat in disappointment. Eisuke grabbed my phone off of the table, pressed a few buttons and held my phone in front of my face to see you mum’s number in my contacts. His arrogant smirk was beginning to piss me off so I snatched my phone out of his hands. She picked up after the forth ring.
“Hiro? Are you ok? Are you drunk?”
“Mum, I’m fine… I’m at a casino.”
“Oh God! You’re not in trouble are you?”
“Well in short I need you to pick me up. I’ll tell you the rest when you get here.”
“…alright. But which casino are you at?”
“The Tres Spades Hotel.”
“…” The line went dead which I assume was in hurry. When I turned around Eisuke was still standing there.
“She’s coming to get me.”
“Good. I’ll tell her what a bad parent she is.” This guys pissed me off so much tonight but that was the last straw. My palm collided to his right cheek which such force it left a burning sensation on my hand.
“Don’t you DARE talk badly about my mother. She’s slaved to take care of me on her own and she’s been nothing but good to me. Who do think you are to talk like that about someone you’ve never met before.”
“Based on her son, I can guess she’s as vile and ill-natured as you.” I wanted to kill him, not for myself but for my mum. I just wanted to give my mum a great birthday and he ruined everything. Then for him to say those things about her. The assholes in this world make me sick. Him, my dad, all of them.

It’s not long until my mum arrives in front of the hotel. I walk shamefully to the car unready to face mum quite yet. About a meter away from the door I freeze. I’ve let her down. Seconds later, mum panics and runs out from the car.
“Mum, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s fine but come on. We should leave.”
“…are you mad?”
“No, sweetie not at all, well, just upset.”
“I knew it.”
“No, Hiro. Not at you. Come on, can we please leave?”
“Why are you in such a panic, mum?”
“Nothing, let’s go.” She grabbed my wrist but not forcefully. If anything she was weak, shaking.
“Mum are you alright?”
“Are you Hiro’s mother?” The voice rang behind us. I looked back at mum to see sadness in her eyes. I knew she was disappointed in me.
“… Well? Are you?”
“… Yes.”
“At least have the decency to look at me when I’m talking to you.” Was she scared of him and his icy exterior? She turned to face him until her face became clear, out of the shadows of the hotel to the lights from the lobby. Her face was unchanged while Eisuke’s looked mortified. In that second, his body gave way and he collapsed onto the floor.
“Eisuke!” Mum screamed as she ran to his side. Wait… Eisuke? Did she know him?
“Hiro, go find Soryu. He has slicked back black hair and a grey suit.”
“How do you know these people?”
“I’ll tell you later, for now just go.” Surely enough like mum said, there was a man in the lobby that matched her description.
“Excuse me, are you Soryu?”
“Who are you kid?”
“Eisuke’s passed out in front of the hotel.” He didn’t say another word, instead he shouted towards the bar.
“Ota! Baba! Get over here!” Soon appeared two men. One with a hat and the other in a stripy blue blazer. We all rushed to the from of the hotel when the three men with me froze in shock.
“Knight?” Mum looked up but didn’t say a word. Baba and Ota picked Eisuke up and lead him back into the hotel, meanwhile Soryu approached my mother.
“Come with us.”
“No, Soryu. I’m just here to pick up Hiro.” He grabbed her wrist and growled, what sounded like a threat, into her ear. Me and mum were dragged back to the hotel.

We were taken to the penthouse, a huge room with a TV and a huddled group of sofas. On one of them laid a guy in a suit next to an overflowing ash tray. Eisuke was laid down and mum was forced to sit in front of him.
“Don’t man handle my mum like that.”
“…Mum?” The men stared at her silently until the moment that Eisuke had woken up.
“What happened?”
“You passed out.”
“…yeah…right after I saw…” He turned his head until he saw her, sitting in front of him, with her eyes glued to the ground.
“…Jessie. Is it really you?”
“…Yes.” The room was silent apart from Eisuke’s ragged breathing.
“Why are you here?”
“I came to pick up Hiro after he called me.”
“But the contact was labelled 'mum’.”
“Because I am his mum, Eisuke.” He couldn’t process anything that was being said to him and neither could I.
“Why did you leave?”
“After what you said at the restaurant, Eisuke.”
“What did I say?”
“You don’t remember? 'There’s no way I would ever have a child. What a burden’.” He said that? Mum’s voice became cold and firm while Eisuke’s became pleading and pathetic.
“Who, what?”
“Who took you from me? You left with no explanation and now you have a son-” Realisation started to kick in for both me and Eisuke. He’s my father. He stood up and approached me examining me for an answer. We were almost identical. Confirming our predictions, mum spoke again.
“I thought the family restaurant would make you happy with families around you. It turns out it didn’t. I was terrified telling you but part of me thought we had a future with a family. Then to hear those words leave your mouth, while I was holding onto my positive pregnancy test. I wanted a family Eisuke. It was clear you didn’t so I raised Hiro by myself.” I can’t believe this.
“Excuse me, I think we should get going.” Mum took my hand and lead me to the car and we made our way home.

In the car, it was quiet. Not uncomfortable but not relaxing.
“Mum, I’m sorry.”
“… For what?”
“Lying to you. Going to the casino.”
“Honey, it’s fine.”
“No it’s not. Now I’ve make things complicated.”
“It’s not your fault, sweetie. Not in my eyes. I’m sorry for not telling you more about your dad.” The conversation is serious but she’s speaking with an almost non existent smile.
“You didn’t have to. You wouldn’t have to if it wasn’t for tonight.”
“Just the irony. The one time you lie to me and go to a casino, it’s the one I didn’t want you going to. If you said you were going to a casino, I would have limited the money you had so you couldn’t get addicted or lose all of your money.”
“Haha… Yeah. Gambling is in your blood, Hiro. After all you are Eisuke’s child.”
“Ha…I played against him tonight.”
“How did it go?”
“Good until the end. The deal was I had to tell you that I lied if I lost.”
“I see.”
“How did you end up going out with a guy like him?”
“A LONG story. I used to work at the hotel. One thing lead to another and the next, I fell in love with him.”
“Right… Mum, do you still love him?”
“…there’s still something there.”

When we get home, mum goes straight to her bedroom and as to be expected, I can hear gentle sobbing behind the door. I can’t stand this. I knew Eisuke had more to say, he was just shocked from the news. I went to my room and grabbed my laptop. I searched for the Tres Spades Hotel website hoping there will be a contact number. After finding one, I grabbed my cell and called.
“Hello. Tres Spades Hotel and Casino. How may I help you?”
“Hello? I need to speak to Eisuke Ichinomiya regarding Jessica Knight.”
“May I have your name?”
“Hiro Knight.” After a few moments, an icy cold voice I recognise growls down the line.
“Why are you calling me, Hiro.”
“My mum still loves you and I’m almost certain you love her too.” I gave Eisuke our address and mum’s phone number. Once the call ended, I passed out straight into bed.

I was woken by soft music coming from the kitchen, something mum usually does when she makes breakfast. I recognised the tune immediately as 'Darling I Do’. Not sure who it’s by, all I know is it was off a shrek film once. I reach the bottom of the banister when I look into the kitchen and find Eisuke with his arms wrapped securely around mum. He doesn’t leave a hair fraction of space between them. One of his hands holding mum’s head to his chest and the other wrapped around her waist. Mum’s hands grip onto Eisuke’s shoulders tightly like she’s scared he’ll disappear. They rock to the music silently. I hear mum sniffling and Eisuke looks so happy, so content. I make my presence more obvious by coughing and entering the kitchen. Eisuke looks at me and pulls away from mum enough for her to see me. Despite the tears in her eyes, her smile says it all.
“Hiro. Eisuke and I worked things out yesterday and we reached a conclusion. We’ll live with Eisuke. I want us to carry on our family together. Are you alright with that?”
“Of course.” Eisuke huffs in embarrassment and opens out his arms to me. If he thought that was embarrassing.
“Daddy!” In exaggeration I leap into his arms. He chuckles at my stupidity and whispers into my ear,
“Thank you, Hiro.”
“I should be thanking you for coming.” Our hug tightens and mum joins in with us.
“You know, Hiro. You’re just as affectionate as your mother.”
“You love it really.” We both said in unison.
“Well before me and Hiro start packing, how about something to eat?”
“What did you have in mind?”
“Hmm… Pea soup?” Again in unison.
“Urgh… Peas.”

Reasons the “Mayday” montage works so well

I mentioned on twitter that I was going to analyze the montage sequence in “Mayday” from an audio editing standpoint, and I am a man of my word. I have seen it mentioned that audio montages are a rarity, and the cryo montage in “Mayday” is a piece of auditory art that deserves some study. So here we go!

+ Each individual sound effect is introduced to us prior to the montage so we know what they are. The grind and hiss of the machines, the ping! and beep of the computer systems, the crackling ice noises, Eiffel coughs a little and comments that freezing himself wasn’t comfortable. All these sounds are the meat of the montage sequence, so it is important that the listeners understand them.

+ The overlapping. God, this is some smooth editing with a LOT of layers. We don’t need to see every day of Eiffel’s journey, and the montage is used to hammer home the monotony of the ordeal. The same sounds, over and over, mechanical, programmed. Words blend together, days are just numbers getting bigger and bigger.

+ The only thing that changes is Eiffel, slowly, painfully. At first it’s mostly just the numbers/ship names he rattles off, his coughing gets more ragged, gasping, and wetter. We get some verbal updates of just how bad his health is getting. The acting here is really stellar.

+ It is a great example of “show don’t tell” in a medium that kind of relies on the telling. This scene is…grueling. It is suffering and hopelessness and it is presented in a detached yet deeply moving way. There were definitely times when I was sure that I was going to hear Eiffel die in space

+ In “Pan Pan” we are given 2 numbers that stick in our minds. Firstly, we know that Eiffel had been missing for 100 days as of that episode, and through the montage we creep slowly toward that number, expecting to catch up to the crew, then suddenly we over shoot that number and start toward the number of days the crew can keep the Hephaestus running. This jump quickly amps up just how dire the situation is.

+ THAT MUSIC. Seriously, it melds perfectly into the background so I almost didn’t take note of it on the first listen. Then when I listened to Alan Rodi’s track “A Little Mayday Music” by itself later and had an instant, painful reaction. My memory had tightly bound to the music and I hadn’t even noticed. 

+ The montage is full of noise: the piano piece, Eiffel’s coughing and mayday calls, the machinery beeping, freezing and unfreezing, and then everything stops and there is a long, long silence. The hardest thing for me as a stage performer switching to audio medium is that “dead air” is the enemy in theatre, while in a purely audio setting, negative space is just as important as the sound. Wolf 359 does some great things with silence.

That is all I can think of for now! Gabriel Urbina, you are an inspiration to me as an editor, and an artist. Keep doing what you do.

A Lunatic's Lament- Chapter 1 (Kellic)


Oh hey a new story :) I have to warn you all first though that this story will have some “darker” themes (it’ll get messed up at parts). I don’t want to spoil anything by having warnings at the top of certain chapters, so I’m warning you now (and only now) that there will be rape themes. So…yeah. If you don’t think you can/want to read that then either skip ahead when that happens or just not read. I’m sorry if there’s already a story like this but I haven’t seen one (then again I don’t read so…) But yeah. I’ve had this whole story stuck in my head for a while now and I really want to write it. (Sorry if it starts slow. It is the first chapter after all)

The first little bit is in 3rd person POV just setting the scene sort of, but after that it’s all in Kellin’s POV so don’t let that throw you off. Okay enjoy this first chapter :)


Third person POV:

“Do you guys want to hear a horror story?” The boy asked his friends who were sitting across the couch from him at the party

“You? Tell a scary story? Oh please.” His friend laughed at the notion.

“Trust me, I know a good one. In fact it’s said to be a true story which happened to two boys a couple of towns over a few years ago.” He enticed the others who had dared to listen in. Eager people gathered around, curious to hear of the story.

“It all started on your average Saturday night….”

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Names are Burdens

So, this is not what I should have been writing  this morning, but it’s what you’re getting. Uh … yeah. Have some Destiel (kinda).

“Sir? Sir, can you hear me? Can you tell me your name?”



           Why does it hurt to talk?

“Wh-what h-happened?”

“Sir, you were in an accident. Please, tell me your name.”


“I—I don’t know.”

“You don’t know your name?”

           I should know that.


“That’s okay, sir. You’re doing great … just hold still.” The nurse reaches down and adjusts something around his neck.

           Am I wearing a brace?

“Wh—” he croaks. “What happened to me?”

The nurse looks at him, scared—sad … seeming almost as confused as he is. “I was hoping you could tell us, sir.” She smiles softly, pulling back her hands to secure the IV in his arm. He watches as her eyes narrow and he feels her fingers travel up his skin. “Where did you get this scar? It … it kind of looks like—like you were branded.”

He tries to look down but his head is stuck.


“I—I’m not sure.”

“That’s alright, sir. We’ll figure this out.” The nurse pushes her fingers into his palm, and he realizes, he’s been clenching his fist. “We’ll figure this out together, okay?”

He nods.

           What happened?

The nurse backs away, letting her hand slip out of his hold—he misses it and he’s not sure why. It’s as if his hand has been missing a hold for years—all his life. The small, kind-faced woman turns and pushes through the curtain of his make-shift room; in a moment, her voice carries softly back to him and he hears her explain to some faceless person outside, how he might be a victim of torture; that his scars are too unique and deliberate to be accidental. He hears her say that there is still no ID and no emergency contact information.

“He’s a John Doe for now.”


The name sounds familiar. His eyes widen. He sees red. He sees blue. He hears the screams. The skin around the scar on his arm begins to burn.

           What the hell happened to me?


“Hey’ya, Freckles. How’s my favorite patient doing today?”

He looks up at Millie as she saunters to his bedside with a new IV bag. “I’d be a hell of a lot better if you stopped calling me Freckles.”

Millie’s face turns sour as she looks down from placing the bag on the hook above his head. “Oh my god, you’re so picky. You don’t like John, you don’t like Freckles, you didn’t even like that other patient calling you ‘Captain Sexy-Green Eyes’ … I mean, what are we supposed to call you? Just Hey, Amnesia Guy?

“I’d prefer you call me discharged.”

She drops her arms and slumps a bit, pressing her lips together until her face seems flat and expressionless. “Sweetie, you know I can’t do that. You still got a pretty bad infection and I kinda like you being alive and grumpy. It makes my day.” She slides her arm over the railing of his bed to let her hand fall onto his wrist. “You know, if you would have just cooperated with the police, we might actually know your name by now … and what happened to you.”

“No police! I told you that!” he snaps, feeling guilty with the serious glare he gives her—but it’s necessary. It’s for all their safety. He feels that in his gut.

           I wish I could just explain it to you.

“I know. I know …” she smiles softly while turning away from him to write something on the chart that’s laying on the counter beside his bed. “I just really hope you don’t turn out to be a murderer or something, because you have me breaking all sorts of protocols here by not letting the authorities get involved.” She glances back to him with a sly smile, but something in her eyes confesses that she’s serious in her concern.

He scoots back down in the bed, wanting desperately to move away from this subject. He tosses a glance out the open door of his room. A few doctors are huddled together outside, looking at a chart with their hands on their hips. He watches their balding heads nod, and their chubby bellies bounce as they chuckle over things that are probably not funny at all. They look homely and uninteresting. It makes him depressed, and he’s not even sure why.

“Hey, Millie?”

“Yes, Grumpy Amnesia Guy?

He scrunches up his nose and makes a face at her. She smiles and pats him on the shoulder before moving down to check on the dressing around his leg. He watches as she ensures that the infection hasn’t gotten worse—he knows it has, but he won’t worry her with it. “Are any of the doctors around here actually attractive? Or are they all just balding, overweight dudes who have horrible senses of humor?”

Millie looks up from his leg, puzzled and questioning. “What … am I not pretty enough for you? You need someone steamier to look at?” The smile that follows her remark makes one form on his face too.

Shut up … you’re fine. I just thought there’d be at least one doctor around here who was, ya know … hot.”

Millie shakes her head and puts the blanket back over his leg. “This isn’t Doctor Sexy M.D., sweetie. If it was, I’d probably be getting lucky in the on-call room right now, instead of dealing with your grumpy butt.”

           Dr. Sexy … what?

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