Luztoye: Dad Edition/Parent AU Head-canons

was working on something that may or may not be my big bang (it’s not) and started having Luztoye as parents feels so…here’s something.

-       She looks just like Joe. Black hair, dark eyes, sun-kissed skin and a crooked smile. George couldn’t be happier

-       George is a natural with her, having spent most of his life taking care of his siblings he knows what to do and not to do. He knows that she’s not going to break.

-       Joe is overly careful and nervous. He holds her close with awkward elbows and hunched shoulders, afraid to hold on too tight, but also constantly worried he’s going to drop her

-       Her dark curls are pulled into pigtails, her mostly empty backpack is more than half her size, and her small hand is engulfed by Joe’s as she grips it tightly as they walk into her first day of school

-       Christmas is always filled with more presents than necessary. Every year they say they’ll cut back, but once it’s that time of year again Joe looks at the mound of presents under the tree (and these aren’t even the ‘Santa presents’) and sighs. All George can say is “what? Joe it’s Christmas!”

-       When she’s six years old, Joe sits her down on the couch and informs her that today she’s going to get a very important present. He proceeds to turn on his Nina Simone albums and they listen and dance to Ms. Simone all afternoon

-       George is usually the one to attend the different school functions as Joe has a harder time socializing with the other parents. Also, George thinks it’s probably safer after Joe very nearly punched some other father after they accidently ripped one of the pictures that had been hanging on the wall that she had drawn for class

-       When she’s seven, they get called in by the school because she hit a kid in her class. Though usually they both love how similar to Joe she is, they both start to worry that she may be a little too much like him. That is, until they get to the school and are informed that she hit the boy because he had been teasing her and stole one of her bows. When the teacher tries to tell her that it just means the boy likes her, George interrupts saying “excuse me, no, we’re not teaching our daughter to expect to be treated poorly as a form of affection. That kid doesn’t have a crush on her, he’s just a dick.”

-       When they leave the office, George tells her that hitting people is not the way to handle her problems, but he also gives her a high-five and takes them all out for ice cream

-       Joe stays up late often, reading through her textbooks, in the hopes that he’ll be able to help her with her homework. He’d stay up all night, but eventually George will gently coax the book out of Joe’s hands, pulling him to bed, assuring him that she’s doing just fine in school

-       She and George are absolutely unbearable to watch movies with. They both will watch the same movies over and over again and she’s picked up George’s penchant for quoting along with the movie, or making up her own dialogue for the characters. Joe refuses to watch a movie with either of them if they’ve already seen it

-       George tries to reason with Joe, assuring him that she’ll survive one day without her backpack, and that it’ll teach her a lesson where she will probably never forget it again. “She has to learn through mistakes, Joe, she can’t just expect us to come fix everything for her,” he tells him. Joe grips the bag in his hand for a moment, looking torn, before setting it back down on the chair where she left it.

-       When George leaves the room it’s only a few minutes later that he hears the sound of the car starting and he walks back into the living room to see that the bag is gone. He rolls his eyes, but can’t help the smile that grows on his face because of the once big bad Joe Toye who is now completely wrapped around the finger of a small child

-       They become less and less thrilled by how much she resembles Joe as she gets older and becomes more and more beautiful, and they realize that more people are starting to take notice of that fact

-       They don’t let her date until she’s fifteen, when George realizes that they’re going to have to relent eventually and he’d rather she goes with their permission and with someone they’re able to vet beforehand, instead of rebelling due to their overprotectiveness

-       Joe takes a lot of convincing and George has to make him promise he won’t scare the kid off when he comes to pick her up. When the kid knocks on the door Joe opens it and notes how nervous the poor kid is, he’s overdressed and keeps wiping his shaking hands on his slacks, so he decides to take it easy on him. They’re sitting in the living room when George walks in, looks at the both of them, then glares at the kid and goes into the whole ‘what are your intentions with my daughter’ spiel. Though he plasters on a happy, supportive face in front of her

-       Once he closes the door behind them he turns back to Joe. “What the hell was that?” he exclaims. “Me? You’re the one that’s lost his damn mind,” Joe counters. “You were just sitting there all buddy buddy with the guy who is taking our daughter out to do god knows what!” “First of all, they’re going to a movie, it’s the middle of the afternoon, she’ll be home before dinner. Second of all, you spent a week telling me not to do what you just did!” “Well I figured you’d at least do your quiet intimidation thing, make the kid uncomfortable enough that he knows not to try anything. I just didn’t want you to make him cry.” Joe pulls George into a hug and promises to stand in the corner, glaring, the next time she has a date

-       Only George is allowed to teach her how to drive. Joe is, according to her, too judgmental, even when he hasn’t said a word

-       The first time she gets her heart broken they surprising seem to change their standard roles. It’s Joe who makes her hot chocolate and holds her as she cries into his shoulder, and strokes her hair until she falls asleep. While George paces and rants about killing the punk kid who dared to cheat on his daughter!

-       George is endlessly delighted when he finds out that her friends consider Joe a DILF, much to their daughter’s mortification. Joe just rolls his eyes when George informs him of his DILF status, but he’s sure he’s a little proud, which he should be, since he’s continued his regular workout routine after all these years

-       The first night she’s away at college they don’t talk much, trying to figure out how to get into their new dynamic

-       When she graduates college, there is nobody in the crowd prouder than Joe

-       For someone who never cared much for talking to strangers most of his life, Joe sure does spend a lot of time telling anyone in listening distance that his daughter is a doctor

-       At her wedding, she makes a speech where she thanks her fathers for the fact that she’s never had to wonder what it feels like to be loved unconditionally

  • Ron: Pulling her pigtails, what in Merlin's name is that?
  • Hermione: A Muggle saying.
  • Ron: Why would she have pigtails?
  • Hermione: It's not literal, Ronald. They say that a child can harass, insult or physically harm someone because they're secretly attracted to them such as a boy on the playground, pulling on a girl's pigtails.
  • Ron: What? That's ridiculous. It's like saying Harry is attracted to Malfoy.
  • Harry: *sweats nervously*

I liked this idea that there was this element of what Gally’s doing here. He knows this is kind of how you remember your name - he’s not just being a bully, or “I knew I could beat it out of you” type of thing. There’s a line, I think, originally where he was like “I knew I could get it out of you”. 

- T.S Nowlin

  1. Soft Curls for Girls
  2. Twist Pigtails for Girls
  3. Long Tied for Kids
  4. Medium Tucked for Girls
  5. Long Straight Tucked for Girls
  6. Braid Side for Girls
  7. Box Braids Side for Girls
  8. Bob Shoulder for Girls
  9. Calm Wind for Girls
  10. Dipped Color for Girls
  11. Claire Hairstyle for Girls
  12. Ariana Hairstyle for Girls
  13. Skysims-Hair-270-Tina Conversion
  14. Dolly Hair for Girls
  15. Winding Hair for Girls
  16. Liberty Hair for Girls
  1. Simplicity Hair for Girls
  2. Sideways Hair for Girls
  3. Oblivion Hair for Girls
  4. Loose Wavy for Girls
  5. Cute Hair for Girls
  6. Sunset Hair for Girls
  7. Glossy Hair for Girls
  8. Lonely Hair for Girls
  9. Wavy Band for Girls
  10. Bob Straight Bangs for Girls
  11. Long Flipped Hair for Girls
  12. Long Braids for Girls
  13. Ponytail Curled for Girls
  14. French Braid Over Shoulder for Girls
  15. Curls Pigtails for Girls
  16. Long Braided Pulled Back for Girls
  17. Tinkerbell Hair for Girls
  1. Shaved Bun Top for Kids
  2. Long Straight Half Up for Girls
  3. Long Wavy Half Up for Girls
  4. Sensitive Hair for Girls
  5. Bob Shaggy for Girls
  6. Romantic Hair for Girls
  7. Passion Hair for Girls
  8. Pony Braid for Girls
  9. Absolution Hair for Girls
  10. Long Wavy Swept for Kids
  11. Braiding Hair for Girls
  12. Pony Tail Tight for Girls
  13. Storm Hair for Girls
  14. Medium Wavy Poof Pulled Back for Girls
  15. Single Hair for Girls
  16. Curly Ponytail for Girls
  1. Short Bob for Girls
  2. Pony Tail Conversion
  3. Serenity Hair for Girls
  4. Long Wavy Classic for Girls
  5. Buns Low for Girls
  6. Med Center Part Conversion
  7. Pony Braid Side Conversion
  8. High Pigtails for Girls
  9. Long Wavy Parted for girls
  10. Pigtails Hair for girls
  11. Curl Side Hair for Girls
  12. Long Wavy Pulled Back Hair for Girls
  13. Long Rocker Hair for Girls
  14. Long Wavy Subtle Part Hair for Girls
  15. Long Straight Bangs for Girls
  16. Straight Hair for Girls
  1. Long Wavy Conversion
  2. Long Wavy Hair for girls
  3. Sweet Hair for girls
  4. Long Braid Curled for Girls 
  5. Pony TriBraids for Girls 
  6. Dread Half Up for Girls 
  7. Long Soft Wavy for Girls 
  8. Renewal Hair for Girls 
  9. Medium Soft Wavy for Girls 
  10. Valentine Gift for Girls 
  11. Med Wavy Conversion for Kids 
  12. Creative Braids for Girls 
  13. Spring Braids for Girls
  14. Tender Hairstyle for Girls 
  15. Bumbling Hairstyle for Girls
  16. Sunshine Braid for Girls 



my fav type of dirkjohn is dirkjohn filled with like… absolutely juvenile, petty, pigtail pulling on the playground levels of bullshit an nonsense

dirk breaks into johns house just to eat his leftovers and to give 5 star ratings to softcore gay porn on john’s netflix account and screw up his recommendation algorithm

john uses his windy powers to get into dirk’s house undetected, and every day for three weeks systematically moves his furniture one quarter of an inch to the left

dirk takes to re-arranging all of the clothes in john’s dresser so he can never find the shirt he’s looking for

john leaves water balloons in dirk’s mailbox which don’t actually accomplish anything but rolling onto the pavement and bouncing away gently and dirk has to go pick them up like a dumbass because its technically littering

dirk leaves a single slice of brooklyn style pizza tucked snugly underneath john’s windshield wiper like a leaflet 

neither of them can explain why they’re doing this or what it accomplishes when prompted, and everyone around them is disgusted at their weirdass 6th grade level black-red flirting