pigeon-shit

me: (looks at columbidae)

columbidae:

me: 👌🐦👌🐦👌🐦👌🐦👌🐦 good pidge gO౦d pidge 👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌pidge right 👌👌 th 👌 ere👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my self 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯👌👌👌 cO0 cОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌👌👌👌 💯 👌🐦🐦🐦👌👌 good pidge

Movie: *has split second scene where you can see a pigeon briefly*
Me: HOLY SHIT DID YOU SEE THAT PIGEON COOOO COOO PIGEON!!! DID YOU SEE THE PIGEON! DOVE! COO BIRD! FAMOUS PIGEON!!!!! AHHH DID YOU SEE IT?! PIGEON PIGEON PIGEON AHHHHHHHHHHGGG

How CW would go if fucking logic applied to Marvel
  • Natasha: Here, the government agreement signed. We also have the training facilities for new superpowered people up and running.
  • Steve: I know, and I trust you and Tony to keep this under control and clean. I just wish this wasn’t necessary.
  • Natasha: Yeah, but we need the people we fight for to trust us, and these newbies require training and a sense of responsibility. Least they accidentally blow up a school or something,
  • Steve: ikr?
  • ***
  • Steve: Bucky, you are a wanted man now… which is why I can’t just let you waltz around running from law enforcement, because It can only end in disaster and more innocent deaths. We are gonna bring you in, but let me make a call first.
  • Steve: Tony hey, can I borrow your team of lawyers and some money?
  • Tony: Sure, whatever.
  • ***
  • SI lawyers: Your honor, as you can see in these documents and photographs owned by Hydra/SHIELD and released by agent Romanova for the whole world to see a couple of years ago, our client, James Barnes, was a condecorated soldier taken war prisoner, brutally tortured, brainwashed and forced to perform terrible acts against his will or knowing by a terrorist Nazi organization. He is a victim and a survivor. As will confirm this lot of experts in the psychological and brainwashing field as well as Captain America, who is completely trustworthy and would never go against the concerns of the people of this country.
  • The judge: Released without charges with supervision detail for the duration of the mandatory rehab.
  • ***
  • The government: But who’s gonna pay for all these murders?
  • The Avengers: HYDRA will pay. Let us handle them.
  • The Government: ‘kay
  • The avengers: *doing some hardcore 100% legal avenging, wiping out the rest of Hydra while the general public cheers for it’s heroes*
  • *** meanwhile***
  • Clint’s wife: Oh thank you so much guys, you know with the baby and Clint flying around the world fighting the bad guys we really didn’t have the time to do this.
  • Bucky and his supervision agents: *planting potatoes and chill*

WITCHSONA!!!! wow im late

i call her Nas the Nasty. she’s a filthy witch that spends her days trying to alchemize the perfect pizza. also she never leaves home because birds always try to eat her hat.

*Katie Holt is undercover at Galaxy Garrison registering for the new school year*

Receptionist: Alrighty, in order to enroll you’ll just have to fill out and sign these forms.

Katie, hair cut short and in slightly ill-fitting clothes: Oh okay, thank you.

Receptionist: Such a polite young man! By the way, i never caught your name? :)

Katie: My- my name? Yes, haha, my name. (looks wildly around surroundings)

*At the window, a pigeon struts on the ledge before pooping and flying away*

Katie: My name is, um, Pidge.

Receptionist: Pidge…?

Katie: Pidge, um, *looks around again*

*A father and son walk by the door on a tour around the school. On the waist of their tour guide rests a holstered gun.*

Katie: … GUNDERSON. Pidge. Gunderson. That’s- that’s my name, haha! Yes.

Receptionist: … Pidge Gunderson?

Katie: It’s a family name.

We were all in love
but didn’t know it.
We were all in love
continually. Bless
our little hearts,
smoking and drinking
and wrecking things.
Bless our shameless shame.
We were loud, invincible.
We were tough as rails.
We stole street signs
and knocked over bins.
Ripped the boards
off boarded-up stuff.
Slept in towers
filled with pigeon shit
and fluff. We kicked
beer bottles down
cobbled lanes.
Tires and chains.
Chains and wheels
and skin. The world
was always ending
and we the inventors
of everything.
—  Melissa Stein, “Anthem”

To have a human who talks about how great you are when they’re drunk with friends is like…a thing i thought was nice but didn’t think would ever be my life? And yet here we are, hell dude i can’t get over how lucky i am

Anthem

We were all in love
but didn’t know it.
We were all in love
continually. Bless
our little hearts,
smoking and drinking
and wrecking things.
Bless our shameless shame.
We were loud, invincible.
We were tough as rails.
We stole street signs
and knocked over bins.
Ripped the boards
off boarded-up stuff.
Slept in towers
filled with pigeon shit
and fluff. We kicked
beer bottles down
cobbled lanes.
Tires and chains.
Chains and wheels
and skin. The world
was always ending
and we the inventors
of everything.

Melissa Stein is behind this flagrant upstart of a poem that got me thinking that endings are actually beginnings.

Les Amis as Pigeons

Enjolras: The pigeon in flight. Sometimes, he’ll shit on you if he hears you saying something morally criminal. Pigeon, much glory, much wow

Combeferre: The pigeon you swear is people-watching. For science!

Courfeyrac: The pigeon who needs as much furniture as you can throw down

Grantaire: The pigeon who shits on everything you love. He’s getting ready…

Bossuet and Joly: The two pigeons snuggling up with each other. They’re both basically house pets, btw

Jehan: The pigeon who looks like no pigeon you’ve ever seen

Bahorel: The pigeon who struts around like, “They see me rollin’, they hatin’”

Feuilly: The blue collar pigeon. Get it???

Bonus:

Jean Valjean: The pigeon who wears bread around his neck

@taye-x @enjoltairemyass

anonymous asked:

Wanna send donutman a box of donut that resemble prolapsed assholes so he can see what he has evolved into. Plus gonna send Owen a box of empty nuggets so he can bitch about it and attack a pigeon or sumthn.

I hppe some pigeons shit on his timbs while he’s in NY