pig josh

I LOVE MY FAT DISGUSTING PIG-WIFE

I’m Josh, and I love my fat disgusting pig-wife.

I’m a freelance author and lifestyle blogger. My wife is a fatass and tub of lard. I met my wife Charlotte at the county fair when I mistook her for one of the prize hogs and started feeding her corn out of my palm, careful to keep my fingers curled in so that she wouldn’t gnaw off the tips of my fingers. About a full four minutes into feeding her, I realized she wasn’t actually a hog, but was actually a very fat yet somehow sexually attractive woman! We quickly fell in love, even as she never kept her eyes off the corn. We’ve been inseparable ever since, partially because I always have a little bit of corn in my hand and she’s always sniffing and licking it. She’s so cute like that.

I love my fat butterball wife, disgusting curves and all. I love the way she really fills out her sty. For me, there is nothing sexier than this woman right here: thick thighs, big booty, bunch of chocolate sauce in her hair ‘cause she fell asleep in her sundae, contact lenses made of Necco wafers, sometimes eats out of the recycle bin if she’s too tired to get to the fridge. This gorgeous girl I married fills out every inch of her jeans and is still the fattest one in the room. But hey, that’s just me. I’m a feminist, and so is my big-as-a-house revolting wife.

As a teenager, I was teased for being attracted to things that didn’t even look human, like women fatter than a size 4 and big rocks and like those old timey bikes with one big round wheel. Then, as I became a man and started to educate myself on issues such as feminism and farm animals, I realized how many men have bought into the lies of the media. A woman doesn’t have to be tall and thin to be beautiful! A woman doesn’t even have to have a name or personality! She can just be a shapeless blob with no distinguishing marks about her like a pile of condensed milk. That’s how I feel about my gorgeous, disgusting wife Carly. Wait, is that her name, “Carly?” That doesn’t look right. What’s her name? Definitely something with a C. I’d ask her, but her mouth is full right now, as she is eating Thanksgiving dinner in August.

Sure, my wife isn’t going to be on the cover of Cosmopolitan, except when she sits on it because I’ve lined her kennel with issues of Cosmopolitan. Because when she sits around the kennel she sits aroooound the kennel. Which is fine! But Cindy is so kind. Cindy has the biggest heart of anyone I know. Even her heart is plus-sized. And I love it for that. Whether my wife is finding an old bagel tucked underneath her cute side rolls or devouring a whole chocolate fountain even the metal parts before the guy we rented it from comes to take it away, she’s always being true to herself. She’s always just being Claire.

Guys, rethink what society has told you that you should desire. A real woman is not a porn star or a bikini mannequin or a movie character. She’s perfectly unique. She has stretch marks. She has big flat teeth that she uses to bite you if you try to cut when she’s waiting in line for soft serve. She has cute little dimples on her booty that she fills with hard candies and bouillon cubes to keep for later in case she gets hungry at the DMV. The twelve teats that run vertically down her front might not all be the same size. She’s real.

Girls, don’t ever fool yourself by thinking you have to fit a certain mold to be loved and appreciated. There is a guy out there who is going to celebrate your turgid sausage of a body for exactly who you are, someone who will love you just like I love my disgusting wife Chappie. I love you, honey!

Cheer Up Post #5019

elkadisu would like a post featuring youtuber Dodie Clark (doddleoddle), musician Josh Dun, and piglets. Enjoy!

***Disclaimer: Most of the images used do not belong to me. If you see one that’s yours, and you would like credit or to have it removed/replaced, please just ask.

Want your own Cheer Up Post? Find out how. Or see the others.

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #124 - Zootopia

Spoilers below.

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes!

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: Yes.

Was it a movie I saw since August 22nd, 2009: Yes. #412.

Format: Blu-ray

1) From the very start this film is excellent storytelling. The opening scene where young Judy and her classmates clearly establishes the conflict of predator vs. prey and the biases that come from that, the film’s humor and heart, and Judy as a character.

2) My mother is an actuary. My brother is studying to be an actuary. Actuaries don’t do this.

Little Jaguar: “Today I can hunt for tax exemptions. I’m going to be an actuary!”

3) Judy’s parents (Don Lake & Bonnie Hunt) are so funny in such a sad way.

Stu: “Judy, you ever wonder how your mom and me got to be so darn happy?”

Judy: “Nope.”

Stu: “Well, we gave up on our dreams and we settled. Right, Bon?”

Bonnie: “Oh yes, that’s right Stu. We settled hard.”

4) Gideon Grey.

Originally posted by masha-russia

Gideon is a perfect example of how nothing - NOTHING - in this film is superfluous, but I’m actually going to speak on that further into the film.

5) The police academy scene gives wonderful exposition. It sets up the environment and rules of Zootopia’s various ecosystems in a way that feeds into Judy’s conflict and character.

6) Ginnifer Goodwin as Judy Hopps.

Originally posted by floppy999

Goodwin (a massive Disney fan herself) breathes perfect life into Hopps. The best voice over work is when you’re not distracted by the voice actor. When their voice and their heart match with the character so perfectly that you don’t hear - say - Kristen Bell as Anna or Mike Myers as Shrek, you only hear the character’s. Goodwin is able to balance Judy’s massive optimism and heart along with the scenes where Judy has lost those things perfectly. I don’t think anyone else could have voiced Hopps as well as Goodwin.

7) If you want to avoid a slew of bad animal puns, don’t look too hard at Judy’s iPod.

8) “Try Everything” by Shakira.

Originally posted by raddestboy

Written by Sia, Tor Erik Hermansen, and Mikkel Storleer Eriksen, the theme song which deserved an Oscar nomination captures Judy’s optimism and struggles perfectly. The song’s lyrics speak of optimism in the face of constant failure, a theme which is very relevant to Judy in the first half of the film. It also provides the perfect backdrop to the visual introduction of Zootopia as Judy enters the city on train.

9) Subtle.

Judy [after Clawhauser calls her “cute”]: “Ooh, ah, you probably didn’t know, but a bunny can call another bunny ‘cute’, but when other animals do it, that’s a little…”

Originally posted by wish-for-the-moon

10) This film really runs with the animal puns.

(GIF originally posted by @baawri)

Bogo [turning to an Elephant officer]: “Francine. Happy birthday!”

11) I love the way the filmmakers handled Judy’s office discrimination. She is treated just as a token bunny, someone who’s only there for PR. Except she was top of her class at Zootopia police academy: a difficult feat for anybody, let alone a bunny. But this just feeds into the biases Bogo already has about Judy: she’s not really that good, they just said she was because she’s a bunny. That plays into real life way more than it probably should.

12) Wow, I did not catch how entirely speciesist this line was until now:

Ice Cream Parlor Owner [to Nick]: “Look, you probably can’t read…”

Damn that’s speciesist.

13) Jason Bateman as Nick Wilde.

Originally posted by a-zootopia-fan

Remember how I said great voice over work is noted by not realizing you’re listening to a voice over artist? The same can be said of Bateman’s performance of Wilde, 100%. To start, Bateman captures Wilde’s surface level of sly con artists WONDERFULLY well. He’s devilish and charming in the same vein as Danny Ocean or Han Solo, and Bateman expresses this perfectly. But as the film progresses Bateman is also able to show off Nick’s layers. His troubled past, his occasional lack of self-worth and anger at the world. And the honest level never changes. It’s not like Bateman was hired ONLY for the slyness of Nick’s role and had to power through the rest, he’s able to do it all. It’s a great voice over for a great character.

14) The relationship between Nick & Judy is the cornerstone of this film. What I personally like about it is its honesty. There’s no BIG moment when these two meet, it’s a chance encounter which grows to conflict and then budding friendship so organically you don’t even know it’s happening.

Originally posted by surreal-teal

15) There is nothing even remotely superfluous in this film. Nick makes a comment about how he’s been running his popsicle con his whole life and that will come back to bite him in the butt later.

16) This pig is played by Josh Dallas, Ginnifer Goodwin’s onscreen partner in “Once Upon a Time” and real life husband.

17) The chase through Zootopia is an incredible amount of fun, especially when Judy and Duke get to Little Rodentia. The filmmakers are able to play with their concept in a visual entertaining and imaginative way, which in turn keeps us as the audience wrapped up in the world they’ve established.

Note: I’m going to take about Alan Tudyk as Duke later in the film, at a very specific moment.

18) Again, there is nothing superfluous in this film (a note I’m going to be making a lot):

Judy [after saving Mr. Big’s daughter]: “Love your hair.”

Mr. Big’s Daughter: “Aww, thank you!”

It is this little encounter (and, you know, the fact that Judy saved her life) that saves Judy & Nick from getting “iced” by Mr. Big later in the film.

19) Again, nothing superfluous in the film. As the “non-onions” that Duke stole end up being very important later on.

20) Disney is at its bets when it pokes fun at itself.

Bogo: “Life isn’t some cartoon musical where you sing a little musical and your insipid dreams MAGICALLY COME TRUE! So let it go.”

Originally posted by rinshi-chan

21) Can we all just take a moment to appreciate Nick’s face after Judy says she’ll arrest him for, “felony tax evasion,” after he brags to her about how he’s been running this con since he was a kid and how much money he makes?

(GIF originally posted by @animations-daily)

22) Again, with the idea that nothing in this film is superfluous: Judy’s recording pen becomes very important as the movie goes on.

23) Only Tommy Chong could play this character.

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

Like there’s a chance he’s not even reading from a script, they just had Tommy Chong come in and told him what the movie was about and he just started talking.

24) This is the funniest part of the whole film, in my opinion.

Originally posted by officialmoviegoer

The entire DMV scene plays well not only with the concept established by the film of an animal society in a way which is funny on its own, but the continuing conflict of Judy’s eagerness, Flash’s slowness, and Nick’s desire to throw a monkey wrench into the whole thing leads to amazing comedy.

25) Did you know Kristen Bell is in this film?

Originally posted by musicallyfoxypokemon

Bell landed the role not only because of her working with Disney on Frozen, but also because she is a noteworthy sloth enthusiast (as seen on “Ellen”).

26) It is nice to see Nick freak out when he realizes he and Judy are in Mr. Big’s limo, as it shows us a part of him we haven’t gotten to look at much in the film so far.

27) Maurice LaMarche as Mr. Big.

(GIF originally posted by @rocktheholygrail)

LaMarche is a noted voice over actor known primarily for his roles as Brain on “Pinky & The Brain”, various characters including Calculon on “Futurama”, and Mr. Freeze in the Batman Arkham series of video games. Here, we get to hear the veteran voice over artist do his best high pitched Brando impression.

28) This film has its fair share of nice surprises, details and twists which keeps you on your toes. The earliest of these is the revelation that the missing mammal Judy & Nick are looking for - Mr. Otterton - was in fact the one who attacked the limo driver (and not that he was the one attacked, as originally perceived).

29) This scene gives me life.

Bogo [after Judy’s witness disappears]: Two days to find the otter, or you quit. That was the deal. [Holding out hand] Badge.

Judy: But sir, we…

Bogo: Badge!

[Judy starts to turn in her badge]

Nick: Uh… no.

Chief Bogo: What did you say, fox?

Nick Wilde: Sorry, what I said was… NO! She will not be giving you that badge.[Bogo flinches] Look, you gave her a… a… a clown vest and a three wheel joke mobile and two days to solve a case you guys haven’t cracked in two weeks? Yeah, no wonder she needed to get help from a fox. None of you guys were gonna help her, were you? [Bogo starts to speak but Nick cuts him off] Here’s the thing, chief. You gave her the 48 hours, so technically we still have… 10 left, to find our Mr. Otterton. And that’s exactly what we’re gonna do. So, if you’ll excuse us, we have a very big lead to follow and a case to crack. Good day.

30) And then there’s this…

I saw this film twice in theaters and both times I was tearing up during Nick’s backstory. Anyone who has ever been bullied as a kid for being different will relate at least a little bit to what Nick went through. And it is this scene when Nick is at his most honesty with Judy, when they become pretty good friends and form a trust with each other.

31) NOTHING IN THIS FILM IS SUPERFLUOUS!!!! NOT EVEN A BLINK OR YOU’LL MISS IT STICKY NOTE ON BELLWETHER’S DESK!!!!

32) I did not think a Disney movie would make me jump like this (stop at 2:11).

33) This is incredibly rare for me, as someone who sees more than 60 films in theaters a year, but after Nick & Judy found the missing mammals and had the mayor arrested I had absolutely NO idea where the film was going after that. At all. I love it!

34) Nick’s face when Judy links the savage animals to being a predator…

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

35) I had a film student criticize this film not based on the merits of its story or character’s or anything, but because they didn’t understand the metaphor. He noted that it’s not a clean comparison between white people and minorities and that’s exactly the point. This film is not about the people in power vs the people who aren’t, because who’s in power? The mayor may be a lion but the most biased character in the film - Chief Bogo - is prey. Bias goes all around and it can infect anybody, no matter what you think. Even Judy, for all her merits, is biased. She carries around fox repellent all the time and even has this line:

Judy: “It’s not like a bunny can go savage.”

That’s what I love about this film. It’s universal. It’s not about one real life society, it is about all societies everywhere and how bias can infect them and taint them and it’s up to us to work against that.

36) Fun fact: I had no idea otters were predators before seeing this film.

37) Gideon Grey returns.

Originally posted by klaus-baudelarie

If only all childhood bullies were like that, but again it gets to my oft-repeated point that nothing in this film is superfluous. Gideon could have easily been the one note bully from Judy’s youth who gave her the motivation to prove him wrong, but he comes back 15 years later in the most perfect way. She sees that people can change and that people who are good now are not always good (Gideon when he was younger, Judy when she was biased). It is a really important moment for her that was established all the way in the first ten minutes of this movie. I love that.

38) Judy’s apology to Nick and the way he handles it is something I truly love about this movie and their friendship as a whole.

And then I really love the little joke at the end about Judy trying to get to the pen and can’t help but wonder: was that written in the script? Was it Jason Bateman’s improv that made it into the film? It’s just so natural I must know!

39) Okay, I think this is the last time I will give this note, BUT NOTHING IN THIS MOVIE IS SUPERFLUOUS!!! This is most apparent to me when Nick does a little thing like expressing how much he likes the berries on Judy’s farm and it becomes so important to the plot latter when they switched out those berries with the Night Howlers in Bellwether’s dart gun.

40) THE BOOTLEG MOVIES!!!!

(GIFs originally posted by @bridgetjones)

41) And it’s followed up by this!

Both characters are voiced by Alan Tudyk. Because Disney just can’t let that one slide, can they? I love it.

42) Same Duke. Same.

(GIFs originally posted by @baawri)

43) The sticky note on Bellwether’s phone earlier was for Doug, the guy who mixes the night howler drug that makes animals go savage (this is the same drug who’s key ingredient was mixed from the non-onions Duke stole earlier in the film, FOR Doug).

44) At one point Doug - who is dressed in a yellow radiation suit and makes drugs for a living - lets his client know that “Woolter and Jesse” have arrived.

Originally posted by knurd-dna-denots

And yes, they did that on purpose.

45) The entire subway chase sequence is really great, because it is based heavily on the idea of action = consequence. A ram is running at the door, he gets through and hits another ram. The train goes too fast into a turn, it tips over and Judy/Nick are up a creek. It all works very nicely

46) Honestly, I didn’t figure out Bellwether was the bad guy until just before it was revealed the first time I saw this.

Originally posted by lostchel

47) Bellwether’s line about, “Fear ALWAYS works!” to keep the people in check should not be as relevant in 2017 as it is.

48) Okay, one thing I need to know: Bellwether is in jail, Mayor Lionheart is in jail, and Chief Bogo is still the police chief…SO WHO’S MAYOR NOW!?!?!?

Originally posted by justalittletumblweed

49) I know this film was pretty much a buddy cop movie, but I would be totally fine with a buddy cop movie where Nick is actually a cop.

Originally posted by blueberrycarrots

Lethal Weapon where Nick is Mel Gibson and Judy is…Danny Glover? Okay, that comparison doesn’t really work, but you get me!

50) And of course…

Originally posted by livelovecaliforniadreams


I honestly think Zootopia may be a perfectly written film, and that is not something I say lightly. I made it clear above how I find nothing in the film superfluous, which is an incredible feat I think. And they did it in a way that was never boring, with entertaining characters, an intriguing mystery, and a fun world. Zootopia may be my favorite Disney animated feature film, and it’s definitely my favorite of the “Modern Era” we’re in now (The Princess and the Frog - Present). Just a great, great, great film which deserved its Best Animated Picture win at the Oscars. A true treat all around.

flickr

The World’s First Kosher Pig by Josh Zimmerman
Via Flickr:
My girlfriend’s guinea pig wears my yarmulke even better than I do!

Okay but like, that prank alone costed a couple hundred (at least) to plan and set up. Honestly if Josh’s parents actually monitored Josh’s spendings, the whole prank would have never happened.

Also, way did the credit card company not freeze his accounts cause like. He bought a fake body and two adult pigs. Wtf is josh buying that that wouldn’t raise any red flags?

anonymous asked:

So looking at the picture of the Keller family, I see two of Anna's sisters wearing pants. Are there two sisters who left the cult? Do you know when and why? There was one who got a child without being married right? Thanks!


Hey anon! Your question sent me on a rabbit hole trying to learn about the Keller siblings. You are totally right that there are two sisters who are out of the cult and one, Susanna, did have her daughter before marriage. In case you, like I, was curious, here is what the Keller kids are up to as far as I could find! 

-Admin T

Mike and Suzette Keller have 8 children.

Esther Keller Shrader: born May 9. 1981. Married John Shrader on November 3, 2001. They currently live in Zambia as missionaries. Here is their family photo:  

Rebekah Keller McDonald: born May 15, 1983. Married Joshua McDonald and has two daughters, Annabel and Alyssa. She is known as a free-thinker and took in Susanna, her sister, when she began to leave the cult.

Daniel Keller: Married Candace in 2008, adopted a son, Brighton (after struggles with infertility according to some gossip-y sites). They are also free thinkers: Candace wears pants and has had short hair; Daniel called Josh a pig after the scandal was revealed and offered to take Anna in

Priscilla Keller Waller: Born in 1986, fundie, married to David Waller, has 3 kiddos: Paul, Davia and Phillip.

Anna Keller Duggar: Born in 1988, married to Josh Duggar, with four kids: Mackynzie, Michael, Marcus and Meredith and one on the way.

Susanna Keller: recently engaged to Matt Davis, on January 14, 2017. Daughter’s name is Noelle, born in 2013. She was a bridesmaid in Anna’s wedding shortly before becoming pregnant. She was not married at the time. There are two rumors here: 1) Once Susanna announced she was pregnant, her name was not mentioned on 19KaC. 2) Jill wanted to help deliver Susanna’s baby but was not allowed by her parents due to her unwed status. Susanna was rebellious before getting pregnant and moving away to live with Rebekah.

Nathan Keller & David Keller: Anna’s two youngest brothers. As far as I can tell, they are in their early twenties and live at home.

anonymous asked:

Ayo, since you're a fan of Red Dead Redemption can you do companions as Red Dead characters??

One of the best games ever made really.

Ada: Nastas

Cait: Abigail Marston

Codsworth: Bonnie MacFarlane

Curie: Professor MacDougal

Danse: John Marston

Deacon: Nigel West Dickens

Hancock: Abraham Reyes

Gage: Irish

MacCready: Seth Briars

Nick: Landon Ricketts

Old Longfellow: Marshall Johnson

Piper: Luisa Fortuna

Preston: Jack Marston

Strong: Pig Josh (Multiplayer character+ Red Dead Revolver character)

X6-88: Dutch Van der linde

Maxson: Colonel Allende

Bonus

Father: Edgar Ross

How dare they state that Josh Duggar simply made ‘teenage mistakes’ 

No. Child molesting is so much more than a ‘teenage mistake’ and they really need to think again if they are going to continue describing these horrific occurrences as ‘mistakes’ 

Josh Duggar MOLESTED FIVE UNDERAGE GIRLS 

This is NOT a ‘mistake’ 

And there cannot be enough posts stressing this.