piec e of shit

  • what she says: i'm fine.
  • what she means: i played 4 fuckin games thinking that by the end of it desmond miles would be this unstoppable badass assassin who would single handedly save the world and turn the tide against abstergo - i thought i would get an amazing modern game where we get to jump off skyscrapers and infiltrate businesses and government buildings in abstergo's pocket and walk around hacking computers and stabbing people and then taking a nap in the animus so we could play as anscestors but noooOOOOooooooOooOoO they had to go and fuckin kill him like i didn't just spend the last 4 games getting emotionally invested in a sarcastic piece of shit bartender i cAN'T BELI E VE
youtube

yeah here’s the video that had been rendering for like two millenias 

I filmed this whole thing with my phone and edited it with the program that I illegally cracked just for the purpose of editing this hope you enjoy it 

  • neil: no pls dont put me on tv pls anything but this
  • 
neil, looking riko in the eye on live tv: hi yes riko, me, neil josten #10 i live at fox tower and i go running every morning before classes here is my schedule for the semester anywya,s suc k my nuts u worthlses piec e of shit thank
2p and 1p Allies in.. Road Raging.

2p!America: hEY FUCK YOU AND THIS LIGHT FROM HELL YOU SON OF A BIT-

1p!America: dude. dUDE WHAT THE HELL I WILL RUN YOU OFF THE DAMN ROAD

2p!England: Use your turn signal please! Oh goodness! oH DEAR LORD HELPM-

1p!England: YOUSONOFAMOTHERFUCKER G O THE LIGHT IS G R E E N

2p!France: *sigh* you piece of shit. You waste of fucking life you motherfu-

1p!France: oh come on! Your car can move faster then tHAT!

2p!Canada: YOU MOTHERFUCKING GOO GUZZLING BITCH HURRY UP

1p!Canada: please hurry! C-come oh-!! *is trying to stay calm*

2p!China: I SWEAR I WILL END YOUR LIFE YOU FUCK-

1p!China: Forget this *cuts off everyone* hOW DO YOU LIKE IT

2p!Russia: *poker face* *pulls gun out from glove compartment* *exits car*

1p!Russia: *actually got out of his car to talk to the driver* I suggest you move your vehicle or I will remove your eyes from your head *calm smile*

POKESPE SHIPS IN A NUTSHELL

Specialshipping: i~ know~ you~ from somewhere in once upon a drea- *snoring*

Oldrivalshipping: she stole his wallet and they never parted since he’s constantly tried to get it back and got used to trailing her

Feelingshipping: feel the calm radiate off the blonde. Feel the salt radiating from the boy. Feel bad as she cries cuz her pokemon evolved. The boy is confuse

Luckyshipping: “I’ll take your badges, your moneys, your keystone, your heart, and your soul while I’m at it thanks for contributing to my charity”

Originalshipping: GOIN BAAACK TO THE BASICS*can’t remember the rest of that song for my life*

Jadeshipping: “hay cute lil girl you wanna help me steal things”

Chosenshipping: they are literally siblings d o n t

Mangaquestshipping: NICE LEGS, DAISY DUKES, MAKES A MAN GO cry because he got kicked in the balls

Preciousmetalshipping: *melts some gold and silver ore in a furnace in skyrim* so hot

Specialjewelshipping: the night is beautiful (also Capricorn and Taurus heyy)

Blacksoulshipping: polar opposite feelings also one doesn’t canonically exist but i want her to

manga heartsoulshipping brokenheartshipping: tough kid, lost kid, hay look they hangin out **still desparately wishing lyra will exist in spe future**

Viridianshipping: “hOLLA TO MY VIRIDIAN BROTHA”

Ambershipping: the flutterdash of pokespe

Lazuriteshipping (?): *stares into blue eyes* *stares at expensive looking gold star earrings*

Polishipping: *Gold tosses polibo at poli and Red* “O SHIT WADDUP”

Imperialshipping: “we could be HEDGEHOG OCS TOGETHER ”

Buttshipping: why this name tho

Depressionshipping: WHY THIS NAME THO

franticshipping: how many chapters does it take to get to the shipping confirmed chapter of ORAS? One, two, th-three- *One of them dies* th-the world may never know,,,

Raltsshipping: hey look at that cute boy why did you leave him alone

Tenthshipping: WHY WON’T YOU TWO L O O K AT EACHOTHER

Commonershipping: cinnamon rol thinks princess is p cool

Haughtyshipping: sugarhigh boy thinks princess senpai is bEING A LITTLE PIECE of SHIT WHO WON’T N O T I C E H I M TRYING TO HELP

Absurdistshipping: it’s all fun and games until sOMEONE IS SENT TO THE DISTORTION WORLD

Entourageshipping: the gangs all here

Agencyshipping: “make a contract with me and I’ll get black out of the fucking rock, White”

Corruptionshipping: you’re hot then you’re cold, you’re team plasma, you’re the international police

Mangasequelshipping(i wanna call it pastelshipping for ironic purposes): “I wanna murder you for being a part of the thing that ruined my life but I also have the overwhelming need to protect you from everything???”

fightsthatdragon  asked:

[ - finding sunglasses in groot's size wasn't easy, but he manages to nab a pair of classic ray-bans. no, it's not a ' gift. ' he's finishing an ensemble. can't stop the little guy from looking like a twig. might as well make him look like a cool one. ]

the sunglasses are his only piece of clothing; his only piece and his favourite piece. he thinks it make him look super flarkin’ awesome !  to be honest, he’s taken to wearing them at all times –––– daytime, nighttime, inside and outside. and when he’s not wearing them on his face, they’re hanging from a vine, bound to the front of his trunk alongside a leaf and a blooming flower.

he bounces upon his perch, settled neatly atop the man’s shoulder. if dr house was going to make him cool by dressing him in things like ray-bans, there’s no way he’d refuse ( he’d already received multiple compliments from all his friends ! )

      ❛   i am groot.  

  • Brain: who feel like shit?
  • Me: me
  • Brain: who always say they feel like shit?
  • Me: it's me
  • Brain: who is always shit?
  • Me: iT'S ME
  • Brain: Who tries to get over not feeling like shit?
  • Me: IT'S ME
  • Brain: Who is a trashcan AND ALSO a piece of shit
  • Me: I T ' S M E

anonymous asked:

"Once you get this, please say 5 things you like about yourself, publicly, then send this to 10 of your favorite followers (this is non negotiable!!!) Let's SPREAD POSITIVITY!!!!!!!"

i dont really know what i like about myself though- thats the issue

this took a while to think about-

i guess:

  1. I like the fact i can be open about alot of things.
  2. The fact i try and be friendly to others
  3. I accept others even if they are extremely different.
  4. Im talkative as hell sometimes- when im not being an awkward piece of shit XD
  5. even though im crap at advice, i try and be there to comfort people or at least not be a dick.
  6. purely because i can think of one more- i love my crap humor sometimes