Well slap around and call me Susan/Sumayya/Stefania…it’s done! All seventy four strategies in seventy four days, must say I am still getting to grips with the fact that I will get up tomorrow and not sit down and read a chapter, think about it, use it and write about it. It’s a bit bittersweet.
The question that has been popping up in my head for the past couple of days as I was looking back on the music I made during these past two and a half months is this: how different would this album have turned up had I started this project a couple of days earlier or later? My guess is it would have borne some resemblance, but it would’ve been drastically different.
That’s the beauty of making music (or probably any form of art), it’s an extrapolation of who you are at a certain point in time. This album, therefore, becomes an extension of who I was for these past two and a half months moving under the book’s guidance. There’s a huge upside to this besides the huge amount of stuff I’ve learned while going through this, I know that if I am ever stuck for ideas or in a rut again (which will inevitably happen), I’ll have a method that’s tried and tested to fall back on. That’s a comforting thought.
So without further ado, here’s the album. Just like everything I have released thus far, it’s on a pay what you want basis. Unlike everything I have released before, however, this album will be available on iTunes, Spotify, Beats music…etc and with the possibility of a limited physical release.
All that’s left now is to thank Dennis DeSantis for writing this amazing book, Ableton for publishing it, every single person who has taken the time to read it and for every message of support, my wife, her family, my family and friends.
I’ll update this page every once in a while, but if you’d like to keep track of all things Pie Are Squared, you can do so on:
I learned yesterday that a good substitute for pumpkin puree in pie making is butternut squash. Very soon I will have a cinnamon-spicy, “hng” worthy, butternut squash & sweet potato pie coming right out of the oven. Who’s joining me?
Jin: This cutie pie would
probably make you breakfast in bed. He would wake up earlier than you, and
would tiptoe out of your shared room, making the least noise possible. He would
make your favorite breakfast, and set it all cutely on a tray, decorated with
He would walk back into your room, setting the tray down on the bedside
table, and would brush your hair out of your face.
“Jagi… Wake up, breakfast is ready.” He would whisper lovingly, with a
smile playing on his lips. You’d flutter your eyes open, and smile, wondering
what you had done to deserve a boyfriend as amazing as him.
Jimin: He would totally wake
you up by cuddling you, and kissing you all over. He would wake up, and see you
over on the opposite side of the bed, and would get upset by the lack of
physical contact. He would roll over to you, and wrap his gorgeous arms around
you, holding you tightly against his chest.
“Wake up baby… I miss you” He’d whisper in your ear, before kissing the
skin on your neck gently, nipping down every so often until you began to wake
“You know, you can wake me up like this every morning from now on.” You’d
whisper roughly, your voice still heavy with sleep, your eyes still closed, but
a smile tugging your mouth upwads.
J-Hope: He would probably
jump/attack you on you, bouncing up and down, screaming hysterically until you
“WAKE UP JAGI WAKE UP! THE SUN IS UP! IT IS TIME TO WAKE UP!!” He would
scream, jumping beside you, as you groaned and rolled over.
“No. Go away” You’d say, covering your face with his pillow, trying to
go back to sleep.
“But I bought breakfast for you! Your favorite coffee! And it’s gonna go
cold!” He told you with a pout. You smiled, shielded by the pillow, but then
proceeded to sigh heavily and pretend to be annoyed by him.
“Fine, let’s go have breakfast” You said, rubbing the sleep from your
eyes, while he beamed at you, pulling your arm and dragging you to the dining
Jungkook: I don’t think he would
actively try to wake you up, he would be in awe watching you sleep, so happy he
finally got the girl of his dreams, he would probably let you sleep for as long
as you needed.
You would however wake up at some point, feeling someone looking at you.
You’d open one eye first to look at him, and would laugh as he blushed and
stuttered, totally trying to act like he wasn’t staring at you, and definitely wasn’t
a creep of anything.
“I wasn’t watching you sleep or anything.. I swear” He’d stutter, eyes
big like a deer caught in the headlights.
“It’s okay Kookie, you’re just cute.” You’d tell him through a yawn,
covering your mouth with your cute hands. He’d grin at you, as he wrapped his
arms around you, glad you are finally awake.
Rap Monster: I get the impression
Namjoon would be the type of guy to caress your cheeks, and your arms,
whispering your name repeatedly, almost melodically, until you woke up. He would
play with your hair, and give you all the love and affection he thinks you
deserve, unable to keep his hands off you.
“Wake up baby… I want to see your smile” He’d tell you, and almost on
command, you would smile, opening your eyes, and looking at him, his smile
reflecting yours with all his dimpled glory.
“I must have done something really good in my past life to deserve
someone like you.” He’d gently whisper at you, making your heart melt, how
could he be so romantic so early? In reality, you were the lucky one, for
having found a boyfriend so romantic and caring as Namjoon.
Suga: Let’s face it, you’d
probably do the waking up most of the time, because this little cute thing
loves to sleep. However, if he ever did wake up before you did, he would
probably love to wake you up with a shower of kisses, making you feel like the
new Sleeping Beauty.
He’d hover over you, his cute plump lips covering every single inch of
skin on your face.
“Are you awake yet jagi?” He’d ask, a kiss between each word, and you’d
keep your eyes closed, and purse your lips together. You almost shivered at his
sexy gruff morning voice.
“No… I think I need more kisses to wake up” You’d whisper cheekily,
making him laugh.
“That can be arranged…” He’d tell you, his voice lower, darker and
needier, before he attacked your skin, placing kisses all over your face and
down your neck until you finally decide to wake up, but his intentions of
getting breakfast long forgotten already… if you know what I mean.
V: I get the impression TaeTae here would be the most annoying, yet cute
about this. He would wake before you, and would immediately get bored without
you. He’d start off by poking your cheeks while calling your name, his gentle
first attempt at waking you up.
“Are you going to wake up?” He’d ask after a couple of minutes poking
you. You’d groan and gently push his hand away, while covering your face with
“No. Leave me alone, I wanna sleep.” You’d grumble, your eyes still
closed, trying to get back to your peaceful slumber. He’d be shocked at first,
pouting at you, until an idea crossed his mind.
“Oh yeah?” he’d teasingly ask, before straddling your lap, and tickling
your sides. You burst out into a giggle fit, squealing and squirming underneath
him, trying to push his chest away with your hands, and failing to do so.
“Are you awake now?” He’d ask grinning at you with that gorgeous
rectangular smile of his, and you’d huff, blowing a strand of hair away from
“You’re a pain in the ass sometimes Tae.” You’d tell him angrily, but
the smile on your lips would give you away.
“Yeah but I’m YOUR pain in the ass” He’d reply, wrapping his arms around
you and tackling you onto the bed.
A/N: None of these gifs are mine, credits go to their rightful owners.
how many of you can’t wait until matthew daddario does the pie scene
you all know the one
“I did not make a pie,” Alec repeated, gesturing expressively with one hand, “for three reasons. One, because I do not have any pie ingredients. Two, because I don’t actually know how to make a pie.” He paused, clearly waiting. Removing his sword and leaning it against the cave wall, Jace said warily, “And three?” “Because I am not your bitch,” Alec said, clearly pleased with himself.”
“I did not make a pie,” Alec repeated, gesturing expressively with one hand, “for three reasons. One, because I do not have any pie ingredients. Two, because I don’t actually know how to make a pie.” He paused, clearly waiting. Removing his sword and leaning it against the cave wall, Jace said warily, “And three?” “Because I am not your bitch,” Alec said, clearly pleased with himself.
On Saturday night I went to a family friend’s surprise 18th birthday party. I had only been planning on staying for a couple of drinks to be social but ended up trollied on celebratory champagne, dancing on a table, and snogging a rather sexy 19 year old kickboxer down the end of the garden.
I think younger men are definitely the way forward. They are far easier to impress than older guys. You pretty much just have to tell them your age and they are ejaculating in their pants humming ‘Mrs Robinson’.
But then again, maybe I am letting my standards drop a little. My main reason for getting off with him was because instead of leaning in to kiss me like regular guys (giving me a chance to duck and run), he lifted me up mid-sentence (I was giving him a lecture about the benefits of further education and why to say no to drugs I believe), and pinned me against the fence whilst kissing me.
I was so shocked and impressed that he could actual life my huge bulk, that I was putty in his hands!
From what I could tell from our drunken fumble, he has a body to die for and amazing upper body strength that could lead to some amazing encounters another time.
I would have pretty much given in right then if the birthday girl’s mum hadn’t called us all in to cut the cake. We sidled into out places, as my sister did her best to pull twigs out of my hair.
Felt a bit guilty later on that night when I got home to four missed calls from Jayce and a txt from BT saying he was hoping to see me at (family friends) birthday party but he was too tired after a hard day’s pie making.