pie for dessert please

When Bitty and Jack are parents, Jack thinks he’s the greatest in the world at giving shovel speeches when their kid brings home their SO. In reality, he just says, “Treat my baby right, okay? (pause) Um. Do you like hockey” etc etc. and Bitty is the one brandishing a kitchen knife in the background, chopping fruit very slowly and making eye contact with the SO once in a while as he smiles. 

(Bitty: So, I hear you’re part of the lacrosse team at school?
SO: Yeah. Um, wow, you have a, uh, strong grip on my shoulder there, Mr. Bittle.
Bitty: Bless your heart, I know.)

(I wrote this in all of ten seconds, I have neither excuse nor explanation) 

Bitty/Parse (Kitty) - 1k


Kent’s been to this restaurant a few times. He comes by whenever he’s playing the Bruins because it’s close enough to the Garden to be convenient and far enough that no one’s going to harass him. Besides they make a grilled halibut and roast vegetables dish that melts in your mouth and fits his diet plan, so he’s a thousand percent in favour of that. The best part about the restaurant though, is the pie. Kent figures, really, he’s only in Boston once a year, he can afford to eat a slice of pie while he’s there.

It’s a small restaurant, the bottom floor of a larger store, and Kent finds a seat far away from the windows. In Vegas, he almost never goes out. Just when the PR people make him so that he seems more “human” or something. Kent understands that this is code for seeming less like Jack Zimmermann. But that was always Kent’s strongest quality – he can pretend to be a normal human while Jack just kind of…can’t.

Kent sits down at the table with his menu and gives it a cursory once over even though he knows what he’s getting. He looks at the specials board and sees that the pies for the day are peach, plum, and pecan. He mentally debates as a waiter comes to take his order, and then orders his halibut dish.

The waiter disappears and Kent sees that someone else has been seated in the booth adjacent to his. It had been a family of three, but now it’s one guy. He looks tired, his soft honey blond hair is dishevelled, and he’s staring at his phone. Every so often he looks up, looks around at the restaurant, and then back at his phone. Kent watches this happen for a while before he concludes it must be a blind date gone wrong. Maybe it’s worse than that. Maybe it’s an established date gone wrong. Either way, there’s no sense in two cute blond boys sitting alone at their own tables eating dinner, so Kent stands up and slides into the seat across from the other man.

As soon as Kent’s ass is on the bench, he regrets it. The man looks up at him with stunning chocolate brown eyes and tips his head sideways not unlike a confused puppy. There’s a smattering of freckles across his nose and Kent regrets every life choice because he’s fucked.

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Alright so @widowvinter was giving me Dex/Nursey things to think about while i was dying at work and then I started thinking about Dex trying to plan a cute surprise date for Nursey.

Everyone has plans to go to some big party or club or something and Dex isn’t interested so Nursey says he’ll hang back too.

Cue Dex mentioning shyly to Bitty that he wants to use that night to plan something special for Nursey (since half of their dates end up including 5 other dudes).

Bitty is “!!!!!!” and tells Dex to use the Haus since no one will be there. Bitty also starts talking Dex’s ear off with romcom-esque ideas and Dex almost regrets his decision to ask for help.

Bitty gives Dex some nice recipe that they know Nursey will like and Dex tries really hard but bitty sees him struggling and “helps” (tells Dex what to do and does all the hard parts himself).

When Nursey shows up there’s Christmas lights hung everywhere and a table is set in the living room with cheap wine and candles and one of bittys ~romantic~ playlists playing.

And then there’s Dex standing among it all looking fuckin mortified. He’s in a nice button down shirt and his face is bright red. At this point he is well past convinced that his boyfriend is going to laugh about how lame this is.

But obviously Nursey gets this big stupid grin that erases any doubt from Dex’s mind. Nursey grabs him by the face to maul him with kisses and mumbles about how Dex is the cutest, sweetest, albeit corniest boyfriend.

They spend the rest of the night giggling and kissing and Dex’s face doesn’t turn back to its normal color until halfway through their meal.

But then they see that bitty left them a pie for dessert with a note asking them to “please refrain from doing it in the shared living spaces -ERB ❤️” and Dex’s face flares up again when he can feel Nursey whisper against his ear “what exactly counts as shared living space?…”


Cut to the entire Samwell men’s hockey team blowing off whatever plans they had to hide outside the living room window huddled around a cardboard periscope that Holster made for “emergency purposes”. Bitty is off to the side mumbling about respecting their privacy but when Ransom tells him it’s his turn, Bitty practically knocks over Chowder to get a look.