I’m starting to think that Dale’s really already here, in most of the ways that matter.He’s still got his instincts–protecting Janey-E and the bystanders from the gunman, effortlessly detecting lies, etc.. He has his tastes–the love for coffee and cherry pie. He still has his kindness–helping the old woman hit the jackpot, bonding with Sonny Jim, smiling at the photo of his new friend Jade.
The things that make Dale Dale are all there. All that’s missing is his ego–his awareness of himself. He lacks that inner narrative voice that we all impose on our lives to make sense of them. The idea of self, rather than the experience of it.
Dale has always had an uneasy relationship with his own identity. He’s got questions about who he is, deep down–whether he can rely on being a stalwart do-gooder straight through to the core. It’s a story he tells himself, that he doesn’t quite believe. Years ago, he told Audrey as much, when he explained about what happened to Caroline. He doesn’t trust his instincts. So he faced the lodge with imperfect courage, and it destroyed him–he looked at his shadow self, and ran the other way.
But Dale-as-Dougie… he doesn’t run. He faces every challenge with the same open acceptance. This lack of conscious identity is, in a sense, a state of perfect courage. The conscious narrative stripped away, he has the freedom to simply exist. To take in the world around him, accept it, and reflect it back. And even in doing so, he always acts so entirely, purely like Dale.
He’s lost who he is, but he’s also found it. Maybe he’ll come out the other side stronger for what he’s learned, here.
5 Times Pie Would Have Saved the Day in Classic Literature
It is a truth universally acknowledged that pie is beautiful and delicious, and classic novels are full of characters gritting through their complicated, difficult lives. But what if these characters had a heartwarming slice of pie? Things could have been very different…
1. Captain Ahab. Was ever a man more in need of a slice of coconut cream pie? Like the giant whale Moby Dick, coconut cream pie is large and white, but far less likely to induce unholy fury and a life-shattering revenge spree. Plus, Ahab would have to sail to some beautiful tropic isle to obtain the requisite coconuts, and a balmy tropic vacation could only do good things for his chilly temper.
2. Scarlett O’Hara. This feisty Southern belle has demonstrated time and again that she won’t give her heart away easily. The only solution to her inevitable loneliness is a cherry pie as bold, classic, and all-American as Scarlett herself.
3. Dorian Gray. Rich, dreamy, and devilishly smooth. Are we describing Dorian Gray or a chocolate silk pie? You don’t know, and that’s why they’re the perfect match. Perhaps if Dorian had been able to channel the passions of his youth into eating chocolate pies, he wouldn’t have turned out as dark and bitter as a Ghiradelli 86% cacao bar. Just sayin’.
4. Miss Havisham. Jilted at the altar. Left alone with her misery in a rotting home. Surrounded for years by reminders of her thwarted romance. This woman needs some SUNSHINE in her life, for goodness’ sake! No pie is better suited to the task than a cheery lemon meringue. Its pillowy meringue, sunny yellow curd, and buttery crust are enough to make anyone clear out the cobwebs and start spring cleaning.
5. Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy. Look, man. We know you tried. But heading into a proposal with the general game plan of “Insult family, point out her inferiority, bring up class difference, overwhelm her with ardent love” was a pretty poor strategy, all things considered. Imagine how things might have gone over with Elizabeth B. if you had shown up, casually, with a steaming rhubarb pie. You could have told her her that the bold tartness of the rhubarb reminds you of her stinging wit, but that you believe she could also be subtly sweet. Things could have gone so much better for you, Darcy.
But, since you botched the first proposal attempt, maybe you should go practice swimming in the lake at Pemberley. Don’t ask us why.
(bc i’m slightly tipsy and there’s already ppl shooting fireworks outside) (under a read more bc i have no control and must be stopped)
wears bright red lipstick and blue eyeshadow bc she’s feelin p a t r i o ti c
is in charge of the food
her apron says “quit bitchin’ in my kitchen”
actually the kitchen is strictly off-limits while she’s cooking get the fuck outta here
seriously one time she threw a knife at ryan’s head when he tried to grab a potato chip
goes all out for the fourth of july y’all. we’re talking buttery corn on the cob, fresh guac, fried green tomatoes, salted watermelon, mac n cheese, apple pie mmmmMMMMM
follows an old patillo family recipe to make the best goddamn potato salad this side of the mississippi river holy shit like,,, it’s so fucking good god bless the patillos
uses a secret ingredient in her potato salad that she’ll take to her grave don’t even bother asking buddy she’ll laugh in your face
(jeremy thinks it’s white wine)
(gavin thinks its cocaine)
wears leather sandals and american flag-printed board shorts why geoffrey why
is in charge of drinks
imports single malt whisky straight from scotland
then steals 2 dozen crates of bud light from the 24/7 supermarket down the street
geoff there’s literally only 15 people at this party do you really need 10 bottles of tequila
likes making mixed drinks for people who didn’t order them
his “signature drink” is called The Firecracker™
everyone’s pretty sure it’s just fireball and actual gasoline
always ends up ranting about how fucked up the american founding fathers were
“guys thomas jefferson was such a dick i fucking hate that dude”
“we know geoff”
shifts into Ultimate Dad Mode™ on the fourth of july bless his heart
unironically wears USA t-shirts from old navy and a backwards baseball cap
it makes him look * c o o l *
is in charge of the grill
looks way too comfortable using a meat cleaver and a butcher knife
ryan that’s just *beef* in those burgers right?
has an AK-47 strapped to his back just in case they come
“just in case who comes?”
likes to sing 80’s rock music while grilling
there’s a video of him belting jessie’s girl into his spatula
ryan is not aware of this video
it’s saved on jack’s laptop (encrypted and password protected)
is in charge of the music
turns into the biggest Dudebro™ on the fourth
yells ‘merica before doing anything
uses red white n blue spray-on hair color and completely fucks up the bathroom sink with it
his playlist is called “'freedom muthafukaaaas”
songs include: bruce springsteen’s “born to run”, warrant’s “cherry pie”, ELO’s “mr. blue sky” and abba’s “dancing queen”
insists on being called DJ rimmy tim for the whole day
keeps trying to get people to play pool volleyball with him
drinks anything geoff puts in front of him
he and jack end up trying to parachute from the cargobob into the pool
is in charge of the fireworks
doesn’t buy fireworks tho are you kidding me fuck that this isn’t amateur hour sON
spends all of april/may developing homemade fireworks with trevor and matt
has almost lost multiple fingers while testing their creations
also nearly blinded himself while trying to modify a bottle rocket
tbh this is the most dangerous thing he does all year and he’s a Professional Criminal for a living
created a firework that explodes in bright red brocades and makes the air smell like roses
he calls it “the lindsay”
every year there’s an illegal massive fireworks show on mt. haan that gets set up anonymously and is electronically detonated
everyone knows its the fakes but literally every person in town comes out to watch it and it’s basically a los santos tradition so the LSPD are like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
they get a tupperware of potato salad for their troubles
(it’s the best goddamn potato salad they’ve ever had)
likes to remind everyone that’s he’s british and that he’s offended by their patriotism
“congrats on your bad healthcare and shite chocolate”
paints a lil british flag on his cheek bc fuck u guys
but then #brexit rip
has the most insane shit delivered to the penthouse for Funsies™
last year it was a massive bouncy castle that blocked off the whole street
the year before he brought five thousand water ballons filled with ice, blood, flour, and some weird goo he somehow smuggled in from china
jeremy almost had to go to the hospital
geoff was not a fan
literally no one has a clue what gavin has planned for this year and they’re not sure if they should be terrified or excited
(it’s actually a lads vs gents nerf battle with tranquilizer-loaded darts)
(geoff will not be a fan)
just bc it’s a national holiday doesn’t mean they’re not heisting
jack wears his gaudiest hawaiian print
ryan switches his black face paint for blue (sometimes he’ll even add stars)
the lads load up on homemade grenades and bombs that sparkle and whizz as they detonate
they hit every major bank and big business within the city limits as the los santos sky explodes with color
on july 5th, planned parenthood, greenpeace, the national immigration law center, the trevor project, the ACLU and countless other NGOs get their annual summer donation - always impressive, always anonymous
bc the fakes know that they’re country is no longer truly the land of the free
and they may be criminals but goddamnit they’ll do their best to fix it
bc who better than america’s most wanted can give america what it needs the most?
Imagine Mary realizing both of her sons, Sam and Dean, are in love with the same girl, you.
“Morning.” Sam mumbled as he walked into the kitchen and saw you, Mary and Castiel there, you still cooking the pancakes and her setting everything else up for breakfast with Castiel’s help.
“Morning sweetie.” Mary smiled up at him as he leaned down to kiss her cheek before he turned to take a good look at you.
“Wow” he breathed out and you looked at him for a second before in the end giggling as you tucked a few strands of hair behind your ear.
“What?” you asked, looking up at the older man as he blinked rapidly, staring at you almost awestruck. You glanced at his mother that was still there but luckily was not looking at the two of you.
“You just- I never thought you’d look this good in my clothes.” he said with an adorable dimpled smile as he rubbed the back of his neck nervously.
You laughed looking back at the food, after glancing down at yourself for a moment. You weren’t in the mood for trying really hard so along with the messy hair you had stolen one of Sam’s flannels that could work as a dress for you and wore it. It was a nice chance compared to you wearing always Dean’s shirts. There was something similar in this, both their clothes made you feel at peace, they had a certain scent to them that brought the same kind of comfort their hugs did but at the same time that scent was so different. And it reminded you instantly of whose clothes you were wearing.
“Thanks” you bit your lip, opting to look only at the pancakes as you felt your cheeks heat up. You had a soft spot for the younger Winchester, you couldn’t deny that, you were really close and had many things in common. He was sweet and kind, gentle and caring. You knew that when you needed to talk to someone he would always be there for you. You were like a little sister to him, as far as you knew at least, even if for you he meant a lot more than just family. But you weren’t going to do something to risk what you had, you’d much rather bottle up your feelings than ruin all of this.
Besides, he wasn’t the only one involved in all of this.
“But- if you want it back I could give it. I’m sorry I didn’t ask I just- it looked too comfy and I-” you started rambling, trying to find an excuse for yourself but he shook his head.
“No, no no!” he said a little too fast and you bit your lip at his reaction “By all means-” he breathed out “-You can keep it, it looks better on you anyway.” he said adorably and you grinned.
“Thank you Sammy.” you stood on your tiptoes and kissed his cheek, making his smile even wider.
“So- what do you want with your pancakes, you didn’t tell me?” you asked and he paused in thought for a moment.
“Uhm I think I’ll go with some eggs today.” he paused in thought.
“Do you want me to make them?” you asked, ready to start on them already but he shook his head with a laugh.
“No you already do enough for us.” he pecked your forehead “I’ll do that myself.” he winked and started working on them next to you as you still laughed and chatted happily.
“You know I love taking care of you anyway.” you mumbled with a shy shrug and he smiled warmly.
“Yes, and I know it. But it’s not bad if you take a break once in a while and let us do all the work.” he said matter of factlyand you just shrugged “You know you deserve it.”
“Not as much as you guys do honestly I-” you shook your head, flipping another pancake.
“Dare you complete that sentence.” it was Dean’s stern voice but the moment you looked at him he had a small smile on. You sighed, knowing you weren’t going to win this fight against both of them so you just shook your head.
Oh and he also happened to be the other person involved.
“Morning guys.” he greeted as he kissed Mary and came towards you, not missing a chance to wrap his arms around your waist.
A small squeak left your lips as he pressed his body against yours and you both chuckled in the end as he kissed the back of your head “Damn smells amazing.” he breathed out as he looked over at the pancakes.
“Thought you’d like them, and in case you are not really into pancakes today I made some cherry pie for you.” you smirked and he looked at you with a wide grin.
“Gosh” he breathed out with wide eyes that made him look like a little kid on Christmas day “Marry me!” he grinned and you laughed.
“You’d have to take me out first, Winchester!” you said as you heard him laugh as he squeezed you, burying his face in your hair.
“Anytime princess.” he mumbled, nuzzling his face before in the end he leaned down and kissed your neck.
You giggled as his morning scruff tickled you and you turned your head to peck his cheek, making him smile down at you. It felt so refreshing to see him like this. It has been such a long while since you saw Dean so carefree.
Of course you had gotten the chance to see him relax sometimes, when it was just the two of you and he’d let loose, but those moments were rare. It mostly was you holding him as you either sat in silence or he talked to you about a nightmare- or whatever was worrying him at the moment.
Your relationship with Dean was different from that of Sam. While with Sam you were all playful, most of the time, and acted all cute together: watching movies, reading books and talking about all kinds of nerdy stuff your relationship with Dean was more contact and less words. You’d spent many nights in each other’s rooms just holding each other, gazing into each other’s eyes like some love-sick couple – well you were love sick you couldn’t deny it at least to yourself – and only sometimes talking. Dean wasn’t really a man of words so when it came to just the two of you he talked about only the things that troubled him. But even the few words were enough for you to get a look into his world. Heck, the mere fact that he trusted you with his thoughts and feelings was enough to let you know how important you were to him.
Of course there were serious moments with Sam as well, he too trusted you with his worries as well, and as that there were funny moments with Dean. Both brothers were very similar but at the same time your relationship with each of them was completely different. Each one of them completed a side of you that in returned completed them as well.
“Hey you two-” Sam’s voice got Dean’s attention. You looked at him to, luckily, see he had a small smile on his face “You’re not alone alright?”
“Sadly” Dean added and you giggled as Sam shot him a bitch-face.
“Why don’t you prove yourself useful and and prepare some bacon huh?” Sam obviously found an excuse to get him away from you.
“Oooh yes, love me some bacon!” Dean said with a glint in his eyes and you chuckled at how childish he was being.
“But first-” he said cupping your face as he leaned down and kissed your forehead, his lips much like Sam’s previously lingered a little longer than they should have. He looked down into your eyes, exactly like Sam had done, and offered you one last gentle smile before going back to playful him and started working on his bacon.
The three of you still talked and laughed as you had each Winchester on each side of you. Her sons’ laughter caught Mary’s attention and this time she took a real good look at the three of you. For a second she smiled fondly at how childlike you were all being, happy that her kids looked so carefree around you, but when realization downed on her hersmile faded away.
“Mary?” Castiel’s low voice caught her attention as she looked at the angel.
“Are you alright?” he asked with a small frown.
“Should I be Castiel?” she sighed sadly “I mean, how can I even be? At first I was happy about Dean but now- seeing this-Knowing that my one son’s happiness depends on the other’s grief- how can I be happy?”
“What- what do you mean?” Castiel frowned with a tilt of his head and she looked from the three of you to him.
“I thought seeing my sons fall in love would be something great. I just didn’t know it was going to be with the same girl.”