pictures-on-walls

anonymous asked:

how do you just shrug off what they say? whenever i see them say this kind of stuff it make me feel so shitty (and i don't go looking for it but it always ends up on my dash because other clexas reblog it adding commentary). like not to be dramatic but it gives me really self destructive thoughts. i already have a lot of self hatred over the fact that i like girls and when i have to deal with homophobia in my only safe place it gets to be too much. how do i not let them affect me like this?

i think about my four year old self and her inexplicable and overenthusiastic attachment to female cartoon characters like daphne and ms bellum 

i think about my eight year old self making her barbies go on things suspiciously close to dates together.

i think about my nine year old self taking it way too personally whenever certain girls at school didn’t want to be my friend.

i think about my ten year old self hanging pictures of boys on her wall because that’s what everyone was doing but not really understanding why exactly they were doing it.

i think about my eleven year old self finding out my aunt is bisexual and feeling closer to her than ever before for some unknown reason.

i think about my twelve year old self making up crushes on any boys that were nice to her to tell her friends just because she didn’t want to feel left out for not really having any crushes at all (at least none that she knew were crushes).

i think about my thirteen year old self watching marissa kiss alex for the first time on the oc and feeling her heart flutter in a way people always described they’d feel when watching popular romance movies. 

i think about her, and i know her love of girls isn’t dirty or wrong or nonsensical or impossible or toxic, and i have this overwhelming desire to protect her and everyone else like her from those that would tell her otherwise.

i don’t let them get to me because i wouldn’t ever let them get to her.

remember that we (that little girl, me, you, all of us) deserve better than to be told that who we are is wrong.