Hello there!! It’s been a long time HAHA 🙈 but I have been being active on my (not exactly newly created) studygram (like a studyblr on instagram) @sashimistudies so you can go and check that out :-) these pictures are from my Korea trip last December holidays HAHAHA hope y'all are doing well!! stay productive 💪🏻💦
It was like there was some sort of voice sounding off internally telling me to do it and though I shouldn’t have been listening to that bad voice considering the good voice inside of me was trying to talk me out of it, I couldn’t stop.
I did it.
I grabbed for his phone that was laying on top of the comforter and fell back to the bed holding the prize in my hand. I never really had a reason to go through Antoine’s phone until now though it could be argued I still really had no reason to snoop through his stuff and invade his privacy but here I was and there was no looking back now.
I had grown tired of his suspicious behavior lately. His persistence on sneaking off to another room whenever his phone began ringing, the constant checking of messages and typing away texts when we were supposed to be spending time together. It all just seemed very odd including his jumpy behavior whenever I interrupted his focus on his phone.
I didn’t want to think there was possibly another woman out there but was it hard to believe?
It wasn’t like it was believable based on how I perceived my boyfriend. I thought he was a fairly honest, trustworthy and faithful partner but there was also the reality that he was pretty desired by women everywhere. I didn’t need much to tell me that. All I needed to do was scroll through his Instagram comments and I’d find plenty of proof of that.
I didn’t want to be now snooping through his messages to try and confirm my worst fear. Part of me would have probably preferred to remain in the dark and ignorant to it all but once my thumb hovered over the home button of his phone, it was too late to cower out now.
The screen lit up with an image of his screensaver, a picture of me enthusiastically holding my hands above my head and clad in my bikini. It was a picture taken from our last random road trip and I felt a lump form in my throat.
He couldn’t possibly live with himself sending flirtatious text messages to another woman while having to lock and unlock his phone to the image of me, right?
I didn’t linger on the thought too long as the unlocked phone allowed me to see the various icons for his apps. I clicked on the messages first.
“What are you doing?”
The sudden sound of a voice startled me and sent the case-free iPhone from my hands and to the hardwood floor in his bedroom. The sharp sound of the contact made me wince. I was focused on the phone being unscathed. Antoine was focused on me.
And he looked pretty pissed. I didn’t think he even needed me to answer the question. He already knew the answer.
I avoided his gaze and bent down to pick up the phone and immediately winced as I assessed the damage. The once flawless screen was stained forever with cracks in the top corner. I was one to always warn my boyfriend that one day he would drop his phone and ruin it. How funny now that it was me who had done the damage to it.
“Shit. I cracked it,” I said aloud as I turned the phone over in my hands hoping that maybe with a few more turns of my wrist, the cracks would magically disappear.
They didn’t and neither did the look of sheer anger on Antoine’s face. He didn’t seem to care at all about the phone in my hands and the damage because when he snatched it from my grip, he didn’t look at it but instead just threw it down on the bed.
“Did you find what you were looking for?” He spat the words so violently I wanted to cry. He looked so disappointed with me and I had no idea of exactly what to say. I honestly hadn’t found what I was looking for because I hadn’t even had the time to look but was I going to tell him that? Definitely not.
“No,” was all I said as I let my gaze fall to my hands in my lap.
“I’m sure you didn’t,” he bitterly chuckled. Antoine turned around and I thought he was on his way out of the door, and he probably did too, but he turned back around and began spewing off everything he was holding in internally.
“I can’t believe you would do that! The person that’s always preaching about trust and giving each other privacy and all of this other crap and you go through my phone? Are you serious?!”
I finally interjected. “You’ve just been acting so weird the past couple of weeks and I knew that if I were to ask you, you would just flip and say I was crazy.”
“Because you are! And you think going through my phone is a better solution? What were you going to do then? Confront me with the evidence you didn’t find or pretend you didn’t even snoop through my stuff?”
He walked over now and grabbed the phone he had just tossed a few moments ago before shoving it into my hands and insisting, “Go ahead. Read it! Read them all. Take all the time you need.” He angrily plopped into a seat next to me and watched, waiting for me to do exactly what he instructed.
I shook my head. “Antoine, I…”
“No. Go ahead. I want you to read them.”
Now I felt incredibly stupid. There was no way he was cheating on me if he was insisting I continue snooping through his phone. I bit down on my lip, feeling my cheeks heat up. We sat like that for a few seconds longer until he grabbed the device from my hand and slammed it harshly to the floor. I was sure then it was shattered even more.
“You already messed it up. Might as well screw it up even more, right?” He chuckled to himself and I would have taken that time to respond but he spoke before I even could. “I feel so stupid for even trying to surprise you with anything. I think that it’ll be a good idea and you end up thinking I’m cheating on you. Great.”
I narrowed my gaze in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“The conversations!” he exclaimed, as if I should have known already what he was referencing. “The phone calls, the secretive messages, always leaving you when my phone rings. It’s my agent. The same person I’ve been talking to for weeks.”
I was still a bit confused and I was sure my expression asserted that. “But why are you…”
That was all he said before he looked at me with exhausted, disappointed eyes. I was still a bit confused until I allowed things to piece together in my mind.
I knew he was possibly set to transfer this summer and the mention of the club signaled to me that may have been the destination he decided on and it made total sense. Chelsea was my favorite club and it was in my hometown, the same hometown I had left to live closer to my boyfriend though that meant missing out on time with my family who were back in London.
We didn’t really bother to talk about the business side of his career. I figured it much easier to stay out of those sorts of things but the more I strung this all along in my head, the more it made sense.
He was planning a move to Chelsea for me…
I couldn’t even begin to apologize in an appropriate way and I think he knew that because rather than getting up, walking away and slamming the door in my face he just sat there.
“I am so sorry,” I uttered. “I…I let my thoughts get the best of me and I’m really sorry. I should have trusted you.”
“Yeah. You should have,” he said sharply but I could tell his anger was beginning to wear off or at least he was making it seem as if it was.
I inched closer to him and took his hands into mine. “I really am sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. You’ve never given me a reason not to trust you. I should have known better.”
There was silence between us for a moment as I waited with bated breath for him to speak. Eventually he suppressed my worries with a response. “Maybe I should have just told you instead of trying to make it some big secret. I don’t know,” he mumbled.
I couldn’t help but ask this next question. “Is it official? Your move to Chelsea?”
He looked to me now and gave off a modest shrug of his shoulders. “There’s still a few kinks to be worked out but it’s pretty much official.”
I couldn’t help the smile that broke my face now. “Wow. I…congratulations,” was all I could begin to say.
The softer side of him was returning. He could never stay mad too long. Antoine reached out and rubbed my cheek gently with his finger, his facial expression forming into a smile. “I guess you should get packing soon, huh?”
“I should also probably work on getting you a new phone,” I giggled. I bent down and reached for the phone that was still on the ground, much more cracked than before. He laughed as well.
Hi, slightly new studyblr here tho I don’t study in the traditional sense anymore but teach. I’m 24 and recently finished my MBA and currently pondering about what I want to do a dissertation on. I’m from the Maldives and I don’t have a nice beachy picture because I haven’t been to the sea in a while (common misconception, we don’t always go to the beach too often, especially living in the capital city which doesn’t have a natural beach accessible 😢) but that picture is from my trip to my aunts island last month.
I enjoy tea and books and have been bullet journaling since last October.
I also love and live marketing and got milk is one of my fav ad campaigns of all time.
Huge fan of Bollywood movies and generally anything Indian. I can speak a bit of Hindi.
Fun fact about Maldives: we speak our own language called Dhivehi. ދިވެހި. It’s derived from Sanskrit, Sinhala, Arabic,Urdu and Farsi 🌸
Haven’t posted anything in a while so here’s some pictures from the last few weeks of my trip including: Delhi, Taj Mahal, awesome hair day, husky cafe in Bangkok, koh kradan (island off southwest Thailand), and my sweet new tank top with floral print.
Pictures from my Japan trip last September in The Expo Commemoration Park in Osaka, I had to go there, natürlich, being a Naoki Urasawa fan.
Basically, the Park is a very very peaceful and quiet place, people take their children there to play and get on a little train that takes you around the gardens. I almost cried, watching all the 21st century boys running all over the place. The only monument left is the famous Tower of the Sun and there’s the Pavilion, where they keep all the posters, souvenirs, scale models and the explanation about Expo 70. Sadly for me, everything in japanese.
People there were quite shocked about my nationality, they asked me why i wanted to visit that place and I explained them my fascination about Urasawa and the 60’s-70’s decades. That made them even more shocked and they gave me permission to write a mesage for him in the entrance of the Pavillion. I’m not sure if he will ever read it, I don’t care. I will carry with me the memory of that day forever and it’s good enough for me to know that this man has changed my life so much he has encouraged me to get on a plane and go visit this freaking vast world I live on, Twice.
And the last picture from my trip to Rooster Teeth. Taken after the recording of the interview with Burnie. Barbara, Gavin, and Jon stayed to listen to the whole thing. It truly was a wonderful experience and I’m so glad I was able to make that video in honor of Kyle, Dale, and Holly. Rooster Teeth is more than a community, we’re a family.