pickup of the week

Crash & Burn

THANK YOU FOR 1,000 FOLLOWERS! I actually reached it on Lance’s birthday, but I was posting something else to celebrate for that, so here’s my celebratory fic for this.

I don’t know why writing AUs has been my jam lately, but I… decided it’s been too long since I threw some angst your way. So… the majority of my upcoming writing is angsty. Oops. This is the first of two parts, by the way, and it’s a college AU unrelated to my others. Catch it on AO3 if you prefer to read stuff there all my other writing goes up there, too.

Summary: When Keith’s car breaks down, he has to resort to calling Lance to help him out, since everyone else is busy. Keith is suprised that Lance is actually willing to help, but then… he doesn’t show up.

Or the one where Lance gets into a car accident while coming to help Keith, and it’s actually not his fault.

Keith was beginning to think that the universe hated him.

Sure, everybody gets bad luck, but his life was just getting ridiculous at this point.

Of course the car had to break down. Keith was only using it because his motorcycle had stopped working last week, so the old pickup was all he had. And of course everyone else was busy. Then again, that’s why he’d chosen to run errands that night. Because all his friends had plans.

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Pickup Lines // Jay

Requested- nope, just thought it’d be cute

Summary- jay has a crush on the reader and uses cheesy pickup lines on her

Pairing- jay x reader

Evie was going on about all the dress orders she had for the cotillion and you loved your bestfriend, you really did, but if you had to listen to her talk about tulle or pastel colors for another minute you were gonna scream.

“Eve, about cotillion-”

“Did you get a date yet? Cause if not, I know a few guys who’d love to take you!” She grinned and you could practically see the gears turning in her head.

You shook your head, “Haven’t got one, but that’s not what I was going to say. Do you think you could make me a dress? I-I know it’s last minute, but I was looking through my closet and I have nothing-”

Once again, you were cut off, “Yes, of course! Timing will be no problem, Doug and I will work overtime if we have to.”

“Making poor Doug work overtime? Very VK of you, Evie.” Jay teased as he sat on the grass next to you.

You rolled your eyes at his words. You didn’t know what it was, but you just couldn’t stand to be around the son of Jafar. He never did anything to you except continuously use cheesy pickup lines which either annoyed you or made you blush.

Evie ignored the boy and continued to sketch in her notebook, most likely designing your dress since she kept looking up at you before going back to scribbling.

Jay turned his body so he was facing you before speaking, “Your lips look lonely, would they like to meet mine?” The smile on his lips never faltering, even as Evie tried to stifle her laughter.

“It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line.” You mumbled, not bothering to look up from the textbook in your lap. Now that made Evie burst out into laughter and you hoped he couldn’t see the way your cheeks turned a different shade.

The boy momentarily frowned before perking up again, “I’ll get you with the next one.”

You shook your head, “We’ll see.”


The week went on with Jay using a pickup line on you every chance he got, even in Remedial Goodness class which Fairy Godmother was not fond of.

“Y/N!” You turned at the shout of your name and were met with a smiling Jay jogging towards you. “I need a favor,”

You meant to say no, but for some reason the word ‘sure’ came out of your mouth.

Jay stood up straighter and held out his arm which made you raise your eyebrows at him.

“Will you grab my arm so I can tell my friends i’ve been touched by an angel?”

You couldn’t contain the giggle that slipped passed your lips. You quickly recovered by coughing, but you knew Jay caught on.

“I’m not going to break, Jay. You need to try a little harder than that.” You smirked at the boy before walking off.


“Give the boy a break, Y/N!” Carlos begged.

You sighed as you rested your forehead against the dorm room door, “Carlos, please. I only agreed to see what was wrong with your 3D printer cause I need to use it for my next project. Don’t bring up Jay, Evie and Mal won’t give it a rest either.”

Pushing open the door, you were greeted by Jay standing in the middle of the room holding a bouquet of your favorite flowers.

To say you were shocked would be an understatement.

“Please tell me this is a dream..” You mumbled to no one in particular as you stared at Jay.

He chuckled as he walked towards you and handed over the flowers, “Mal said these were your favorites, I-I hope you like them.”

You smiled at the boy after taking a whiff of the flowers which of course smelt amazing. What puzzled you was that this kind of flower didn’t grow on Auradon, at least not that you had seen.

 “I love them, thank you. But, what’s all this? Is it part of one of your pickup lines?”

Jay shook his head,” No, that’s over. T-This is real, this is me asking you to cotillion.”

You didn’t respond for a few minutes which made him unbelievably nervous. What if you said no?

“Yes, but-” You began but were cut off by Jay hollering and wrapping you into a hug.

You couldn’t help but laugh at his reaction before continuing your sentence, “Your tux has to match my dress or this is off,” You playfully pushed the boy who hadn’t stopped grinning.

“You don’t need to worry about that, I got it covered.” He affirmed.

Safe to say, he did have it covered and it was the best cotillion you’d been to since you started at Auradon.

Hance Week

Day 2: Old Friends / First Meeting

“Are you a parking ticket, becasue you have fine written all over you~.”


“Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it right back~.”

The biggest plot twist of season 2 was that Hunk is the pun master~

Also, I headcanon that Lance suffers from baby face syndrome and he’ll be like 40 but looking 16 forever. While Hunk grows up wonderfully~!

Honesty is the Best Policy - Webdog177 - RWBY [Archive of Our Own] >
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
By Organization for Transformative Works

White Rose Week 2017 - Day 6 Modern AU

Super late, but as we can still contribute stuff after the fact, why not?

A flubbed pick-up line surprisingly works like a charm, and now Ruby Rose finds herself in the sights of the charismatic and beautiful Weiss Schnee. Yea, this was definitely happening, but as long as she didn’t suffer from a chronic bout of foot/mouth syndrome, Ruby was going to enjoy every second of the night. [Whiterose, AU, mind the rating]

Five Days (Grayson x Reader)

Summary: Requested by anon: “Could I request a Grayson imagine? Maybe where he’s being really clingy and cute xx”
Word Count: 1,393
Warnings: Lots and lots of pickup lines.
A/N: This is probably faaar from what you wanted. But it’s still kinda cute and fun. And he’s clingy af. Hope you like it, sorry for the wait xx


You were standing by your locker, trying not to panic over the test you were having that morning. You really needed to stop studying last minute, but it was honestly just who you were. What you hadn’t expected, was for a boy to bound over, his bodylanguage screaming confidence as he walked toward you. You didn’t bother looking up at him, because you knew who it was.

“If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.” Grayson said and you could almost hear the smirk, completely satisfied with his confidence.

You pulled out the books you would need for class and slammed the locker door shut, looking at him.

“And if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put F and U together.” You answered, doing your best to sound unimpressed.”

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[Why I Love] - Chpt. 1

I’m Negan 

Negan x Addison

[Summary: Addison finally meets the man who killed her friends, and he has an offer that she can’t refuse.] 

A/N: Hi guys :3 so  this is chapter 1 of a story I’ve been working. I’ve never posted any of my writing before, but hey there’s a first time for everything right? Hope you like it ^.^ ** chapter 2 has a lot more of Negan :) 

|| Masterlist ||

Originally posted by grungedaddykinks

Nothing is the same, not anymore. 

The people of Alexandria were going about their daily activities but there is no denying the fear in their eyes. 

Those bastards…they did an excellent job rattling our cage and now we were vulnerable. I hated that we were vulnerable. Losing both Glenn and Abraham put everyone in a grey area. We’re all so disconnected with each other, it’s like everything we’ve been trying so hard to fight for just slipped from our reach.

“Hey” Daryl appeared by side as I made my way back to the house. “You look like you need this” He handed me a chocolate bar; my stomach grumbled at the sight of the purple colored wrapper.

“Thanks” I took it from his hand. A shock ran through my system when I fed my hunger. “Not much luck on the run I heard”

“Nah…but I’m headin’ back out myself. Hopefully I’ll be able to find what ya need” His voice sounded hoarse; I know he must be tired.  

“Take a breather before you do anything ok?”

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Play Me (Skam - Chris x OC) Part 2

Pairing : Chris x OC (name’s Elin)

Synopsis : Player 1 meets Player 2. The score is tight.

Word count : 3.8k

Part 1 <<< >>> Part 3


He did stop bothering her (sort of). At least, directly. His behavior still bothered her though, and Elin was ready – and more than willing – to break his legs next time she saw him go anywhere near Eva. That jerk had to go and fuck around with her friends – the next best option to her and to get on her nerves? - and now Eva had continuous fights with Jonas. All of that because Chris felt like kissing Eva. It was fucked up enough on his part to do this knowing she was in a relationship but now that Elin knew he was too, she felt like snapping his neck. She wasn’t a violent person, but she was very imaginative and was dreaming about various ways to get back at him.

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Regarding DHL status

As some of you know, Germany has experienced a severe storm (aka Hurricane) last week. Infrastructure took damage mostly (though a few people died as well), but that is the reason why DHL only picked up the last part of our shipment today (we managed the others manually or by single pickup by … “kidnapping” every DHL postman we saw…^^) 

We were on the phone for days coordinating that manual pickup because drivers and trucks are apparently rather scarce since last week.


They -are- ALL picked up now and on their way to the distribution center, and there the automatic scan and update of status will occur. 

Sorry for the delay for some of you, but this is nothing we could influence further :/.

Please check your Mail account (also the spam folder, please!!!) for the mail with your tracking number (if you haven’t seen it yet)!!

There are a few parcels left to be sent out (for various reasons), we’ll get to those within the next days.

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 4: Packing and Moving All Your Shit

Recently, we received an ask to cover how to best pack for a move and since I’ve covered how to know if you can move out, how to find an apartment, and the kinds of questions you should ask when looking at an apartment, this seemed like a nice addition to the series. So here we go, part 4!

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  • eiffel making hera judge his air guitar performances on a scale of 1-10
  • eiffel high fives the monitors when they accomplish something
  • the two of them are memelords and they have come up with so many in-jokes about the shit that happens to them. any time anything goes wrong now both of them will go “the plant monster *did x*!” in unison
  • other jokes: mangling hilbert’s name in increasingly insulting ways, “hera has no hands… she will never know the feel of a glass of whiskey…,” their current situation not being NEARLY as bad as that *made up noodle incident* that happened to eiffel when he worked at macdonalds
  • sometimes they get so into talking to each other at night that hera forgets that eiffel has to sleep and she realizes that he hasn’t responded for like five minutes because he fell asleep and she’s like “whoops”
  • sometimes, when he’s asleep, she asks “are you there?”
  • sometimes when he doesn’t answer, she tells him the things that she won’t when he’s awake, like how afraid she is every time she nearly loses him, and how glad she is that if they had to live through this, at least she’s got him
  • bad impersonations of one another
  • every time a new broadcast that Eiffel likes comes through he declares that it’s “their song” and tries to dance to it which goes badly in zero g
  • when he’s down hera always asks him to tell her what he’ll do to show her the world when they get back to earth. they have made many, many plans for crazy nights on the town and trips to disneyworld (eiffel is adamant about going to disneyworld)
  • eiffel spends a whole week telling her cheesy pickup lines (minkowski doesn’t find this funny)
  • sometimes when minkowski or lovelace or kepler is talking to her eiffel will make faces behind their backs at hera’s cameras. thankfully hera has the best poker face, by virtue of having no face. unfortunately this still makes her crack up.
  • canonically, eiffel keeps referencing famous plays and hera seemed pretty into being in minkowski’s musical, so ten to one they have performed scenes together when bored, probably very melodramatically 

This isn’t much of a fuck customers story, but it does deal with customers and work-related things.
So i work at a local pizza place in a very small town (about 8000 people), but the place i work is the most popular. I started working when i was 15 (i’m 16 now). Most of our employees up front where i work (registers/making subs/deliveries) were high school seniors, but have since left for college. I am now considered one of the higher-up employees because i have worked there for almost a year and we have so many new employees. It is usually my job to train them. Now, during the school year, we get absolutely slammed for the dinner rush on fridays/weekends. I am still training new employees almost every day i work. I worked friday and saturday closing shifts this week, and it’s been absolute hell. Pickup orders were an hour, deliveries were over an hour and a half. We’ve had to unplug phones twice so the kitchen could catch up. Today (saturday) i worked with a new girl, and it was her third day. She is very nice, but she is not just understanding the menu and ordering process. When customers came to pick up food, it usually wasn’t ready. In that case, you would have to circle the slip to remind other employees to check on it from time to time. This girl, M, never circled slips, so pickup customers were waiting for 30+ minutes for their food. Another new girl, K, was answering phones, but the amount of mistakes she made messed up orders way too much. Tonight i was constantly hovering over M and K, fixing their mistakes, helping customers, answering phones, cleaning, and having to explain a million times that “we are very busy and the kitchen is very backed up”. I really love my job, and i enjoy my authority, but i just wish i wasn’t stuck training people every day.


3.4 Fredag 18.08.17 20.58

((( LOVE. - Kendrick Lamar )))

Elias wilted in his seat after yet another wistful glance around the room. The loud thumping of some very unimpressive music and the boisterous voices of people sitting in clusters filled his ears. He found himself searching for one face in the massive crowd. But it was pointless. Eventually, he was joined by the rest of the boys, who were all laughing at some joke Mutta had made. Elias grumbled to himself in frustration. Being at a high school party with a bunch of kids and some shitty music was the last thing he felt like doing right now, but if there was even a slight possibility of seeing Laila, he definitely wasn’t going to say no.

He was resolved on fixing things between him and Laila. No matter what it took. If only she’d let him.

Elias drummed his fingers on the table, refocusing his attention on the conversation at hand. Chris had joined them at the couch and she and Mutta were chatting animatedly. As for the rest, Mikael was in a heated discussion with Yousef about which was better; Naruto or Avatar. Meanwhile Adam and Even laughed at the both of them. Leave it to Mikael and Yousef, the only 19-20 year olds on the planet to have a legit discussion about Naruto and Avatar.

Yousef turned towards Mikael and threw his hands in the air exasperatedly. “Naruto is a 12 year old ninja! It’s so unrealistic?”

“Oh so it’s realistic for an airbender to go around and throw elements?” Mikael questioned.

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