pickup of the week

Hance Week

Day 2: Old Friends / First Meeting

“Are you a parking ticket, becasue you have fine written all over you~.”


“Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it right back~.”

The biggest plot twist of season 2 was that Hunk is the pun master~

Also, I headcanon that Lance suffers from baby face syndrome and he’ll be like 40 but looking 16 forever. While Hunk grows up wonderfully~!

Five Days (Grayson x Reader)

Summary: Requested by anon: “Could I request a Grayson imagine? Maybe where he’s being really clingy and cute xx”
Word Count: 1,393
Warnings: Lots and lots of pickup lines.
A/N: This is probably faaar from what you wanted. But it’s still kinda cute and fun. And he’s clingy af. Hope you like it, sorry for the wait xx


You were standing by your locker, trying not to panic over the test you were having that morning. You really needed to stop studying last minute, but it was honestly just who you were. What you hadn’t expected, was for a boy to bound over, his bodylanguage screaming confidence as he walked toward you. You didn’t bother looking up at him, because you knew who it was.

“If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.” Grayson said and you could almost hear the smirk, completely satisfied with his confidence.

You pulled out the books you would need for class and slammed the locker door shut, looking at him.

“And if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put F and U together.” You answered, doing your best to sound unimpressed.”

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Aunt Carrie

Aunt Carrie was always her favorite aunt.

Well, she was her only aunt, but still, Maggie loved her.

She loved her farm and all the animals that she got to play with. She loved rolling in the mud with the piglets when she was six years old and coming inside to Aunt Carrie fussing over her mucky clothes and running a bubble bath for her. She loved petting the soft lambs after they were sheared and helping Aunt Carrie’s border collie, Bud, heard them all into their pen. She loved picking eggs in the chicken coop and patting the hen’s feathery heads and getting her fingers lightly pecked in affection. She liked how one particular brown hen, Hattie, treated her like a big chick, nuzzling her and sitting on her lap while Maggie giggled. She loved the single horse her aunt had, Cinnamon (whom Maggie had named herself), and how his mouth would tickle her palm when she fed him carrots. She loved how he listened to everything she said and how his trot would become slow and gentle when he felt her start to drift on his back, her cheek resting in his mane. She loved how Aunt Carrie would carry her into the house after a long summer day, slip Maggie’s boots from her feet, and lay her down in the guest bedroom, where she would drift off to sleep.

She loved how Aunt Carrie made five kinds of breakfast food every morning and fresh-squeezed orange juice. She loved how Aunt Carrie let her feed all the animals in the morning and made iced tea to enjoy with sandwiches in the afternoon, as they sat on the porch and looked out at the big blue sky over Nebraska. She loved how Aunt Carrie told her stories about her father as a little boy and made Maggie laugh so hard that her sides hurt. She loved how Aunt Carrie called her Maggie, instead of Margaret like her parents did.

She hated leaving Aunt Carrie’s farm at the end of every summer, because it’s the only time they really ever saw each other that wasn’t a holiday or a birthday, and those were too far in between. She hated watching the farm disappear in the rearview mirror as her father’s country music filtered through the old pickup truck.

She tried to call Aunt Carrie at least once a week, on Sundays. Sometimes she would miss a week, because her father or mother was taking up the line and sometimes Aunt Carrie wouldn’t answer, because she was probably tending to her animals. As Maggie got older, she started spending her Sundays with friends and, specifically, in Eliza Wilkie’s basement, smoking cigarettes and watching horror flicks. Eliza’s parents were cool about smoking in the house (hell, they did it, too) and the two girls would sit close together on the couch and blow smoke at each other and giggle at the hilarity onscreen. Maggie felt her feelings develop quickly and without her permission, but she felt more for this girl than she’d ever felt for any of the boys who’d wanted to hold her hand or sent her notes in class, asking her to be their girlfriend.

It was scary, but she took the risk.

When it landed her with a slap across the face, courtesy of her father, Maggie decided that the risk wasn’t worth it. When her father threw his old army duffel at her and told her to “pack your shit and get the hell out of my house, you pervert”, she decided that she would never take another risk again. When Aunt Carrie was already waiting for her out on the street, she decided to keep her mouth shut and her eyes to the ground. When, halfway to the farm, Aunt Carrie reached over and wrapped her fingers around Maggie’s hand, she finally let the tears fall.

Aunt Carrie was silent as she cried—as silent as Maggie’s mother had been—but she squeezed her hand every so often and played a station that she didn’t particularly have a taste for, but she knew had the kind of music that Maggie liked. And, when they got home, she took her hand back, turned off the car, and stepped out, walking around and opening Maggie’s door for her.

Maggie fell into her arms and sobbed, burying her face into Aunt Carrie’s shoulder and just allowing herself to fall apart a little bit. Aunt Carrie just held her for a long moment, before pulling back and looking her straight in the eye.

“Don’t you ever let nobody tell you how to live your life, Maggie Sawyer,” she said. “Ain’t nobody know how to live your life better than you do. You hear me?” Maggie nodded, tears in her eyes and a quiver in her chin. “Good. Now come on inside. I made us some comfort food.” She reached past Maggie and grabbed that old army bag, hefting it over her shoulder. Then she took Maggie’s hand again and held it all the way to the door.

It wasn’t smooth-sailing after that, though.

Living full-time with Aunt Carrie was nice, because she was somebody who cared deeply about Maggie and accepted her for who she was, but that didn’t mean that she didn’t miss her parents. She’d found herself staring at the old phone in the kitchen, wondering if she could pick it up and call home; if they would even answer. If they would even want to talk to her.

She knew that Aunt Carrie called sometimes. Knew that Aunt Carrie would talk to her mother and give her updates on Maggie, but that her mother never wanted to talk to her, even when Carrie offered to put her on the phone. She knew that her father refused to talk to Aunt Carrie because she’d taken in his ‘blasphemous’ daughter and taught her that being ‘that way’ was okay. Maggie knew that she’d probably never get to speak to her parents again; that their love had dried up as soon as they learned who she really was.

She tried not to cry herself to sleep thinking about that, but she did. Most nights, she did. And most mornings, Aunt Carrie already had a stack of blueberry pancakes waiting for her on the kitchen table, with a glass of fresh-squeezed orange juice.

Aunt Carrie never had children of her own, but she packed Maggie’s lunch with such care that you’d think she’d done it all her life. And while the teenage girl in Maggie groaned at any sort of affection from her guardian, the girl abandoned by her homophobic parents reveled at every little bit of love she got from her aunt. Especially when girls like Eliza Wilkie suddenly acted like she was diseased when she was still showing up at school (just to finish out the year before she started closer to her new home) and spreading rumors about Maggie forcing herself on them.

Maggie ignored them and focused on the notes that Aunt Carrie slipped into her pocket, which she usually found by second or third period. Maggie would smile at the tiny, lumpy hearts that Aunt Carrie would draw and the poorly done sketch of Bud and she’d breathe a little deeper and fight the tears in her eyes, because suddenly everything was alright.

Play Me (Skam - Chris x OC) Part 2

Pairing : Chris x OC (name’s Elin)

Synopsis : Player 1 meets Player 2. The score is tight.

Word count : 3.8k

Part 1 <<< >>> Part 3


He did stop bothering her (sort of). At least, directly. His behavior still bothered her though, and Elin was ready – and more than willing – to break his legs next time she saw him go anywhere near Eva. That jerk had to go and fuck around with her friends – the next best option to her and to get on her nerves? - and now Eva had continuous fights with Jonas. All of that because Chris felt like kissing Eva. It was fucked up enough on his part to do this knowing she was in a relationship but now that Elin knew he was too, she felt like snapping his neck. She wasn’t a violent person, but she was very imaginative and was dreaming about various ways to get back at him.

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  • eiffel making hera judge his air guitar performances on a scale of 1-10
  • eiffel high fives the monitors when they accomplish something
  • the two of them are memelords and they have come up with so many in-jokes about the shit that happens to them. any time anything goes wrong now both of them will go “the plant monster *did x*!” in unison
  • other jokes: mangling hilbert’s name in increasingly insulting ways, “hera has no hands… she will never know the feel of a glass of whiskey…,” their current situation not being NEARLY as bad as that *made up noodle incident* that happened to eiffel when he worked at macdonalds
  • sometimes they get so into talking to each other at night that hera forgets that eiffel has to sleep and she realizes that he hasn’t responded for like five minutes because he fell asleep and she’s like “whoops”
  • sometimes, when he’s asleep, she asks “are you there?”
  • sometimes when he doesn’t answer, she tells him the things that she won’t when he’s awake, like how afraid she is every time she nearly loses him, and how glad she is that if they had to live through this, at least she’s got him
  • bad impersonations of one another
  • every time a new broadcast that Eiffel likes comes through he declares that it’s “their song” and tries to dance to it which goes badly in zero g
  • when he’s down hera always asks him to tell her what he’ll do to show her the world when they get back to earth. they have made many, many plans for crazy nights on the town and trips to disneyworld (eiffel is adamant about going to disneyworld)
  • eiffel spends a whole week telling her cheesy pickup lines (minkowski doesn’t find this funny)
  • sometimes when minkowski or lovelace or kepler is talking to her eiffel will make faces behind their backs at hera’s cameras. thankfully hera has the best poker face, by virtue of having no face. unfortunately this still makes her crack up.
  • canonically, eiffel keeps referencing famous plays and hera seemed pretty into being in minkowski’s musical, so ten to one they have performed scenes together when bored, probably very melodramatically 
A First For Everything

Originally posted by the-walking-dead-art

Summary: Negan takes Lexi’s virginity

Pairing: Negan x Lexi

Warning: Smut, Violence

You were sitting on your bed in your tiny room when you heard a knock on the door. Before you could answer Sasha walked in, “some of Negan’s men are here, Rick told me to come get you”.  “Negan’s men are here?..now?, I thought they weren’t supposed to come pick up their share until next week” you replied. “Hmph, don’t expect people like them to follow their own word” Sasha said as she walked out of your room. You quickly got up and threw on your oversized denim jacket and walked out to find everyone standing by the gate looking at each other in confusion. You joined them and glanced over at Rick who looked just as confused as everyone else. There were four Saviors standing in front of the group, two you didn’t recognize and two you remembered named Simon and Dwight. Dwight was looking around at the group and at the other Alexandrian’s, especially the women, when his gaze fell upon you and remained there as Simon began to speak. “Hello again, you sorry fucks. We’re here for a pickup”, he then gave a big devious grin. “You’re a week early, we don’t have all your supplies yet” stated Rick. Simon chuckled and took a few steps forward, “oh we’re not here for supplies Ricky boy, you see Negan’s getting a little bored of his wives, and no other girls back home are striking his fancy. So he’s relied on me and Dwight here’s good taste to pick out one of these bitches to bring back to him”. You leaned over and looked at the other girls standing around you, who all looked just as shocked as you did, until everyone looked back over at you with even more horror than before. Confused you looked straight again and saw Dwight standing right in front of you now. “Hey Simon, take a look at this one!” he called out. Simon was now looking at you too and strided over, “well hello beautiful, what’s your name?” he asked. You swallowed the lump in your throat and began to speak, “L-Lexi, my name is Lexi”. Simon and Dwight looked at each other and grinned, then they both grabbed one of your arms and began pulling you towards their truck. “Stop!” yelled Rick, as he started to run after them, until one of the other Saviors hit him in the gut and he fell to the ground in pain. Simon and Dwight shoved you into the truck and got in, as the other two Saviors shut the gate behind them and jumped in too.

 The truck was off and awhile later you arrived in front of Negan’s compound.  The gate opened and you drove in. The Saviors jumped out of the truck and Simon grabbed your arm and pulled you out. “I’ll take her to the boss man” he said to Dwight, who nodded at him then gave you a wink before walking off. You looked around terrified, this was the first time you’ve ever been inside Negan’s compound, and the first time you’ve ever met Negan or even seen him in the flesh. Your heart started racing as Simon brought you to Negan’s door and knocked on it. There was a short pause, then a deep, gravelly voice began to speak, “fuck off!”. “It’s Simon boss, I brought your new little playmate”. “Why the fuck didn’t you say so, come in” replied the deep voice. Simon opened the door, pushed you in, and closed the door behind him. Negan was sitting at his desk, looking down at a notepad with a pen in hand; he didn’t even bother looking up. “You found someone fast” he mumbled. “Dwight picked this one, she’s an Alexandrian” Simon replied, Negan chuckled “Rick the pricks probably pissed..good”. Finally he put his pen down and looked up at you with a smirk. You felt butterflies flutter around your stomach, he was gorgeous. You were never really interested in older men, but you’ve never seen one like Negan. Negan stood up and walked over to you and Simon. He was wearing a white t-shirt and jeans, you saw his leather jacket slung over the chair at the desk, and the bat you’ve heard so much about, Lucille, layed against his desk. Negan’s slicked back black hair was starting to unslick itself, and pieces fell to his face which he pushed back. “Hi sweetheart, I’m Negan, what’s your name?” Negan said as he looked you up and down.  “Her names Lexi” Simon said sounding proud of himself. Negan looked over at him, “did I fucking ask you?”. The proud voice slipped away as Simon muttered a low “no, sir”. “Get the fuck out” Negan said and Simon quickly turned around and left.

 Negan looked back at you and smiled, “aren’t you a pretty little thing” he raised one hand and stroked your cheek. You flinched, “p-please I don’t want to stay here, I want to go home” you whispered looking down. “Don’t worry doll, little Negan here just wants the feel of some new pussy, then I’ll have Simon and Dwight take you home”.  You remained quiet and kept your gaze down at the floor. “Look doll, I’m not gonna make you do anything you don’t want to, if you want to leave so fucking badly you can go, I’ll get Dwight and Simon to find me someone else”. Negan gave a disappointed sigh and turned around. “No!” you said loudly, surprising yourself and Negan. Negan spinned around and locked eyes with you. “I-I’ll do it, it’s just that I’m..a virgin” you started to blush. “No motherfucking way” he said with a chuckle. “Oh baby, don’t be embarrassed, don’t be embarrassed at fucking all. I wanted new pussy, I wasn’t expecting that fucker Dwight to find pussy this new, he deserves a fucking promotion”. You felt slightly relieved that Negan was okay with it, but you were nervous that it was going to hurt and that you wouldn’t be able to please him like the other women he’s been with can. You looked down and noticed that he was already getting an erection, the thought that you were making a man like Negan this excited made you unbelievably aroused. Negan cupped your face and brought it up so that he could look into your eyes. “You’ll get to feel him soon enough sweetheart” he said gently. You giggled but quickly stopped when he slipped one of his hands behind your neck and began softly yet passionately kissing you, the feel of his scratchy salt and pepper beard against your soft face sent shivers through your whole body. He slipped his warm, wet tongue into your mouth and you let out a quiet moan. He then picked you up with one arm and carried you over to his desk, with the other arm he pushed his notepad and pen to the floor and placed you on top.  He pulled his lips away from yours and began to take your denim jacket off, which he threw onto his chair with his jacket, and lifted up your shirt and threw it on the floor.  He started to kiss you again, but slowly started kissing and nibbling your ear, then kissed down to your neck, giving a few hard, wet kisses that were sure to leave a bruise. You wrapped your legs around his waist, as you felt his big, rough hands slip around your back and begin unhooking your bra, he unhooked it with ease. “You’ve done that before, haven’t you?” you asked with a giggle. You could feel Negan smirk against your neck. He then continued kissing down until he got to your breasts; he grabbed one of your nipples in his mouth and began softly sucking on it, as you gasped. His hands now moved down to the front of your jeans, he began unbuttoning them and pulled them off along with your now drenched panties, all while keeping your nipple in his mouth. He took a few steps back and looked at your completely naked body.

 “Enjoying the view?” you asked, “baby, you have no fucking idea” he replied.  He placed each hand on one of your legs and pushed them open, exposing your soaked pussy. He slid his face right into it and you felt his tongue flicking your clit. Negan put one of his hands on your chest and gently pushed you down so you were laying fully on your back. His licks were getting faster, and he pushed his face in even more adding pressure.  You gave out a loud moan this time and threw in a “fuck, Negan”.  You looked down between your legs, and saw him looking up at you giving you a little wink, before pulling his mouth away. “I’m gonna stick a finger in baby, just to make sure you’re a little more ready for the real deal. And if you moan loud enough for me, I’ll stick a second one in….you ready?”. You gave a small nod and grabbed onto the sides of the desk as you felt his middle finger slid into your hole. “Fuck your wet” he whispered in a heavy voice. You let out a big gasp as he slowly thrusted his finger in and out of you. It surprisingly wasn’t as painful as you were expecting, it felt amazing. “P-Put the second one in” you moaned, Negan looked up at you and smirked “already? You sure?”. “Just fucking do it Negan, please” you whimpered, “well, alright doll”. Slowly Negan slipped in another finger and gently started finger fucking you and curving his fingers upwards so they were hitting your g-spot. You felt a warm knot form and just when you thought it couldn’t feel any better Negan began sucking on your clit. The knot grew bigger and felt so warm you couldn’t stand it anymore. You started grinding your pussy against his face and fingers and started whimpering “fuck..fuck..fuck” as you came all over him. Negan stood back up and slid his fingers out of you and sucked on them, before wiping the pussy juice residue off of his face and beard. 

“I think that’s the sweetest cherry pie, I’ve ever had the fucking pleasure to try, doll”. He then once again scooped you up but this time carried you over to his huge king-sized bed, that had deep red silk sheets neatly draped over it. He laid you down and pulled off his shirt while you began unbuttoning his jeans as he done earlier for you. You slid his jeans down to the floor and looked and his full on erection that was now only being covered by his white boxer briefs. His ‘little Negan’ wasn’t little at all. Negan pulled his underwear down and you took in the sight of all his love. “Lay back baby, I’ll fucking take care of you” he whispered into your ear. You did as you were told and laid back, at this point you’d do anything he asked of you.  Negan lifted his hand to his mouth and spit into it before stoking himself getting his cock slippery. “Aren’t you going to get a condom?” you asked.  “Don’t worry doll, my pull-out skills are honed”, you didn’t know why but you trusted Negan and let him continue without the condom. Negan grabbed his cock and slowly put it to your entrance and began sliding it up and down over your folds and around your clit, before carefully sliding into your gushing hole. You threw your head back; his cock had way, way more girth than his two fingers. He gently thrusted into you, letting your tight walls adjust to him. You bit onto your finger trying to silence the moans that were flooding out of you. ”I wanna hear it..moan for me” Negan said roughly as he was already breathing heavy and letting out little grunts here and there. You stopped biting your finger and grabbed onto the silky sheets and let your moans pour out. “That’s what I like to hear” Negan said his voice so deep and gravelly yet smooth like velvet. He began picking up the pace and started thrusting faster and faster, the sounds of each other’s moans and his body slapping against yours filled the room. “I’m gonna fucking cum Lexi” Negan roughly moaned. Your eyes rolled back as he continued rocking into you, until he pulled out and finished on your pubic region. He let out heavy gasps as he tried catching his breath, then he flopped down onto the bed beside you. You laid there and looked up at the ceiling as you came down from the ecstasy you were feeling. “Goddamnit baby, that pussy is fucking heaven” he mumbled. By now it was late and you looked over at Negan “should I leave now?” you asked. He looked over at you, “by all means if you want to leave you can you satisfied the fuck out of me doll, but you can always clean yourself off and stay the night, I can get Dwight or Simon to drive you home in the morning, after round two?”. “I’d like that” you replied with a smile as you gave Negan a kiss before going into the bathroom to clean off.

Smart Egg Unwin

I saw this post, and honestly i dont even know if this fic matches it anymore. It changed a lot. This also was supposed to be like maybe 500 words and then somehow became 2200… I am not british, so i’m sorry if this all sounds extremely american. Gonna tag @alethiaii and @notbrogues who contributed to the post (hope you dont mind me tagging you)

Eggsy had gone through extensive training for an additional four months, while taking missions after v-day and after weeks and weeks of lessons about espionage, he was finally getting his first lesson on tailoring in the shop. He handed in his finished written debrief and took the train to the shop, adjusting himself and fixing his tie. He walks up to Dagonet and gives him a smile.“I’m ready for my lesson,” He states. Dagonet gives him a small smile and shakes his head. “Harry is giving you your lesson. He’s late, as usual, but he’ll be here soon,” He nods and returns to what Eggsy assumes is filing people’s order paperwork. Harry and Eggsy had been spending quite a bit of time together, him giving Eggsy most of his lessons even while he’s busy with being Arthur. Apparently, after a candidate takes their place at the roundtable, their proposal agent will continue to teach them and go on some small joint missions for skill practicing purposes. It’s usually only for a couple of weeks, but Harry had only returned in the last month or two and he was slowly getting used to meeting up with Harry every other day or so to learn a new skill, even if he sometimes already knew it.    

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[Why I Love] - Chpt. 1

Negan x Addison

Summary: Addison finally meets the man who killed her friends, and he has an offer that she can’t refuse. 

A/N: Hi guys :3 so  this is chapter 1 of a story I’ve been working. I’ve never posted any of my writing before, but hey there’s a first time for everything right? Hope you like it ^.^ ** chapter 2 has a lot more of Negan :) 

Originally posted by grungedaddykinks

Nothing is the same, not anymore. The people of Alexandria were going about their daily activities but there is no denying the fear in their eyes. Those bastards, they did an excellent job rattling our cage and now we were vulnerable. I hated that we were vulnerable. Losing both Glenn and Abraham put everyone in a grey area. We’re all so disconnected with each other, it’s like everything we’ve been trying so hard to fight for just slipped from our reach.

“Hey” Daryl appeared by side as I made my way back to the house. “You look like you need this” He handed me a chocolate bar, my stomach grumbled at the sight of the purple colored wrapper.

“Thanks” I took it from his hand. A shock ran through my system as I fed my hunger. “Not much luck on the run I heard”

“Nah…but I’m headin’ back out myself. Hopefully I’ll be able to find what ya need” His voice sounded hoarse. I know he must be tired.  

“Take a breather before you do anything ok?”

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Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 4: Packing and Moving All Your Shit

Recently, we received an ask to cover how to best pack for a move and since I’ve covered how to know if you can move out, how to find an apartment, and the kinds of questions you should ask when looking at an apartment, this seemed like a nice addition to the series. So here we go, part 4!

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💋 The signs flirting 💋

Uses their lamest possible pickup line and still manages to pull it off like a pro:

Aries, Gemini, Leo, Sagittarius, Aquarius

Attempts something cute, stumbles over their own words and tries to fade out into the background:

Cancer, Pisces, Virgo

Studies pickup lines like a fricking exam for three weeks and fucks it up at the final hurdle. Spends the next month simmering with rage:

Taurus, Scorpio, Capricorn

Escaped the womb knowing this shit by heart. The messiah is here: