pickled thoughts

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CONSPIRACY THEORY: why hasn’t anyone talked about this helmet Ricks been tinkering with for the past 3 seasons? Whats it for? What can it do? Why show it in over a dozen episodes if it was simply a “background” piece?

^^ that is take off ‘rickandmortytagz'on Instagram i just wanted to be able to spread the theory further :} some people believe it is a suicide helmet because apparently someone in real life has commited suicide with a helmet that looks like the real thing.

reasons why The Party (s1 ep16) is the single greatest brooklyn nine nine - nay, comedy tv show - episode ever made and i’ll probably never ever get tired of watching it:

- strong underlying plot surrounding the discrimination against race and sexuality perpetuated by the NYPD and how awful and hurtful and gross that behaviour is

- zero dancing around the above subject, even going so far as to bluntly describe the perpetrators of the discrimination as “many of whom look exactly like you” to the white cishet male protagonist

- consequent acknowledgement of said protagonist of the crappiness of the behaviour even though he himself has never expressed even a hint of being prejudiced (he doesn’t get defensive, or scoff and brush it off, or say “Well, NOT ME”; Jake’s uncomfortable with emotions, sure, and says so, but not once in that scene does he dismiss Kevin’s concerns as not applying to him - rather, he demonstrates with his actions how much he (and the rest of the squad) care about and respect Captain Holt)

- kevin cozner is unfortunately not the star of danzes with wolvez

- [terrible falsetto] “Raymond, those slacks are a knockout!”

- the entire trope setup of the squad being in a Super Affluent Adult Situation, suddenly magnifying their collective weirdo-ness by showing how whacky their regular shenanigans really are in a normal Real World setting

- a party, no less

- for their boss’s birthday

- oh man

- “don’t move in a group! you’re not gazels!!”

- Charles having to put on Terry’s fifty-sizes-too-big cardigan to hide the massive salsa stain on his shirt

- “this fits so well, Terry, we have such similar physiques!”

- the hecnking. the fact that to any outside observer who did not Know amy santiago and jake peralta, watching them sneak upstairs one right after the other with no context could have only been interpreted as “they’re gonna go bang”, when, in fact, banging was the last thing on either of their minds

- they were instead concerned with trying to either a) back the unfortunate pro-slavery stance they’d accidentally backed themselves into or b) heinously violate the captain’s privacy by cataloguing the presence of “how it’s made: contact lenses” on his DVR, oh my God

- “we’re could have been really cool people! we weren’t, but we could have been!”

Keep reading

trans-pickles  asked:

in america at least, pornographic drawings of any children (real or fictional) is still classified as child porn. so is editing pictures of children to look like they're naked, or photoshopping a child's face onto, say, a screenshot from a porno. idk where you like tho, or what the laws are in other countries (although i kinda do agree that callouts ≠ activism). it's also different for art and literature i think

i’m not exactly focusing on the legal aspect of the issue but that is more along the lines of what i would consider cp. 

what i’m mostly focusing on is the people who pretend like they’re activists by being against a ship or calling out artists who draw age-ups and explicitly state the characters they draw are portrayed as 18+. people who draw lolicon tend to be pretty open about it on their blog, and the stuff they post is like, clearly loli. 

as much as i dislike lolicon, i’m not gonna go around parading how much of an activist i am and start harassing people because they drew something i dislike and i’m too self-righteous to just ignore it.

The Pickle Fic

Note: I wanted to write something bad. I made no outline. I wrote whatever came into my head. This is the result. Things get weird.



“Have you ever deepthroated a pickle,” Dan asked Phil as he seductively opened their brand new pickle jar that they bought from the store on that same day.

Phil swallowed hard, turned on by Dan and the pickle jar. “N- No,” he stuttered to his boyfriend Dan, more commonly known to him as BEAR.

“You should,” Dan replied, pulling out a wet, sloppy pickle with his bare hands. He put it in his mouth, sucking it HARD as it hit the back of his throat. He swallowed the entire thing, not even stopping for a chew. “We should deepthroat a pickle together.”

“But, Dan!” Phil exclaimed with exclamation. “I mean Bear! We are just BFF’s forever and ever,” he said to his boyfriend. “That’s capital G gay. What would the fans of ours think?”

Bear (that’s Dan) shook his head. “They’d never have to know, Phil. We don’t have to do it on camera. We could just… pickle together.”

Dan pulled another pickle out of the jar, waving it around and around. “Pickle for your thoughts, my honeybear,” he said to Phil (that’s Honeybear), once Phil just stood there with his mouth hanging open.

“I, um,” Phil gulped. “I do enjoy a pickle, and I am a little hungry.”

Bear stepped closer to the blue eyed (and green and gray and lots of colors mixed together), black haired (dyed), older (by like four and a half years) man. “This should fill you right up, my sweetheart.”

Dan wiggled the pickle close to Phil’s mouth, letting the juices collect on Phil’s lips. “Open up, Sailor.”

Phil, totally turned on at this point, opened his mouth into an O shape, so he could collect the pickle.

Dan placed half of the pickle into Phil’s mouth, then bit down on the other end.

Cronch.

Cronch.

Cronch.

Dan bit at the other end of the pickle harshly as Phil stood there, shocked, eyes wide and mouth still dangling half a pickle.

“Good pickle,” Dan said, lifting the jar up to his mouth and chugging the juices.

Phil downed the other half of the pickle. “Now our pickles will be all dry,” he said to his Bear, who had brown eyes and brown hair, and dimples. His Bear was also younger than him, by about four and a half years or so.

“I’ll fill it with some water in the sink.”

Dan walked over to the sink, but Phil couldn’t move. His dickle was in a pickle of its own.

“Bear,” he said, as that was Dan’s nickname that he called him all the time. “My dickle is in a pickle,” he admitted.

“Would you like me to cronch it?” Dan asked, letting the jar overflow with water.

“No. No, my best friend Bear, my lover. I don’t want the cronch. I just want… I don’t even know.”

And now Phil was on the floor, sobbing. He was sobbing because Dan, his lover, his best friend for life, was using too much water. Their water bill was going to be so high.

Dan turned off the water, immediately knowing what his lover wanted. He was next to Phil in seconds, caressing his back, but thinking about the rotisserie chicken in the fridge. “I’m sorry for overusing the water, my lover, Phil. I was just trying to get back at you for being so against marriage. That Sims game from like two years ago, I still think about it. I just want to marry you, Phil, my baby.”

“I can’t marry you, Bear. And I’ve been commiting beastiality all along.” Phil’s tears dried, but he needed to let this out.

Dan laughed. And laughed and laughed. “My lover, I’m not a real bear. You just call me that as a nickname, remember? You silly baby, sugar daddy! You’re just confused.”

“Oh,” Phil chuckled, remembering the pickle incident from ten seconds ago. “Dan, I mean Bear, I love you so much. You are my lover. I’m gay, but only for you. I have never been attracted to another man.”

Dan smiled, wiping his pickle hands over Phil’s face. “I’m only gay for you too, Baby. Otherwise, boobs. Now let’s go into the bed and make sweet, sweet love.”

Phil stood up and Dan hopped up beside him. “Alright,” Phil said, walking toward the room. “Bring the pickles.”

Dan already had the jar in his hand.

cozy!!!

Ummm so is it bad I didn't like this episode that much?

Like don’t get me wrong the episode was pretty fucking badass but I just feel like something was missing? I didn’t feel like there was really a lot going on in this episode….

Ok to explain better, with Rick and Morty they usually have two running storylines right? Like the meeseeks and the family/Rick and Morty go on Morty;s adventure.  Obviously, this episode also had two storylines, family therapy and then pickle Rick….Its just with all the previous episodes you sort of remember one part of the storyline then go “oh shit! this happened to then this happened ectect” But with this one, I felt like it was just the 2 things and that was it really, not a lot happened.

Still, don’t get me wrong I don’t hate this episode, I think the animation its great and pickle Rick is fucking badass. It’s just I didn’t really laugh that much and if you asked me about it I can’t really remember much of it off the top of my head.  

I dunno…..send me your thoughts in my asks or reblog the post so I can see. If you just reply to the post I can’t answer since this is a side blog and I really wanna discuss this with you guys.

What I expect my drunken texts should be: Something angry or embarrassing that I will regret in the morning and I’ll have to apologize for

What my drunken texts actually are: “Hey, did you know if you go into the bathroom and turn off all the lights and say “Maybe he’s born with it, maybe he’s high as fuck” 3 times in front of a mirror, 19 year old Pickles will crawl out of the mirror and teach you how to do your eyeliner.”