ohm: hey del you know what i would love more than anything else? DEL: what? OHM}:you to suck on my pickle ohm: del stop playing with the co..ck del: i couldn’t grab it i was to slippery “giggles” Reblog if you were screaming internally
“I think it throws up notions of free will” “It’s too much…and then they would have had to have done me talking about the blink and it never ends. I think they make a meal of it, to be honest. I don’t know how they get the time. They’ve got to have other jobs…It’s more like a hobby, like stamp collecting, something you do in your free time”
Did you know individually wrapped dill pickles were a thing? I didn’t. But today, a man around the age of 75 came to my register with exactly 15 large, singly-wrapped pickles in little pouches of brine. The only other item he had was a box of heartburn medicine.
For the rest of my day, any time a customer was rude or snappish with me, I thought back to Pickle Man. If he was willing to pursue his intense love for pickles without even heartburn stopping him, then surely I could make it through the last four hours of my shift.
He inspired me.
You go, Pickle Man. Don’t let anything get you down, not even an uncomfortable accumulation of stomach acid. Follow your dreams.
PIP: alright, kids! mama Pip is gonna teach you some sex ed, okay? listen up! when people love each other they… @!#??!*^%@@!>: and !>@?#]£!! so then you #@%*?&!! moist $$£!@??@%% bulbous orifice @##/!!*& abrasive fondling @$$#!!/>£ soggy figgy pudding #@*&!?!$#?@! …and that’s about it!
PANCAKE: oooohmygod, mum! did you forget the internet exists!?
PEPSI: hm, i’ve only seen half of that in my animes. interesting.
Request: Hanbin is busy with schedules and work and that’s why has no time for you.
A/N: i know it’s super cliche and it’s a little short but i actually haven’t written in a while so see this as a warm up lmao. i wanna write a lot in the next days, so i hope you guys look forward to it and enjoy this for now. <3
The moon was hiding behind the dark clouds today as you sat on the bench at the park nearby and breathed in some fresh air. It felt good, even if it was just a little, you tried to swallow the hard feelings that were stretching out in your stomach and cursed at yourself when the tears started pickling in your eyes.
Stop, you urged yourself and closed your eyes for a little while, letting the mild air fill you in along with the comfortable silence the night exuded.
It wasn’t Hanbin’s fault that he had endless of schedules to attend; the amount of songs he’d been writing for the past months and his members he had to take care of each. It wasn’t his fault for barely having any time for you let alone go on a date or do normal things couples usually did. It was alone your fault for falling for a person like Hanbin and it was your fault for not having the heart to leave him.
You loved Hanbin, you really did. Just sometimes you wondered if it was better for the both of you if you parted ways. How it’d feel like to be together with someone who didn’t have a tight schedule like Hanbin did. But no matter how hard you thought about it, it was always Hanbin that crossed to your mind and he was the only person you ever wanted to spend your life with.
“Where were you?”, you hadn’t expected him to be suddenly awake when you entered in the door at 3 am in the morning. He came close enough to make you notice the little wrinkles formed on his face from all the worrying. “Nowhere, just out for a walk”, you gave him a small smile in hope he wouldn’t ask any further questions. You were tired and hurt. You weren’t in the mood for this kind of conversation.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” You were about to turn around and walk past him but Hanbin was quick enough to get a hold of your body and pull you close to his chest. “Nothing”, you held back your tears, just enjoying being in his arms for once. How long had it been? Weeks? Months? It didn’t really matter because you inhaled his comforting scent you could never get enough of.
“Y/N… i know i’m leaving tomorrow and we won’t see each other for a while but– please be patient for a little while. Soon i’ll have more time–”, “You said the same thing before your last tour, Hanbin”, you held him tighter because your voice just didn’t seem to listen to you anymore.
what even is motherhood? you grow this tiny babe in your belly for the better part of a year and worry about it every single day. you try to eat healthy (even though all that baby wants is pickles and donuts) and stop drinking beer, you ask for all the advice that you can, you stock up on diapers, you read the books and take the classes, and you sort through tiny tiny clothes. and then, after so much work and the worst pain and most trying hours of your life, that tiny babe is in your arms. and you have no clue what to do. it’s surreal and weird and crazy and emotions are running rampant. but you’ve never felt as much love as you do in that second. that first second when you finally see his face and time literally stops and your heart explodes and says, “oh there you are! I’ve been waiting for you but I never knew what you look like but now I do and you are so perf!”
the next few weeks are spent learning constantly and it is hard. learning who this tiny person is and realizing that your life is completely changed forever. exhaustion sets in, you feel inadequate, you fight with your husband, and wonder if you’ll make it through the week, through the day even. motherhood is exactly like they told you it would be, except better and harder and completely different. there are just enough sweet moments to break up the hard ones – I’ve said it before and I still stand by it: I am positive babies sleep so much to give you a break from all the crazy and give you a minute to watch them sleep and then you fall in love with em all over again. those moments are so necessary. you cry a lot but also your heart explodes every day and you get through it all, on love alone.
then that tiny babe grows into a bigger tiny babe and starts smiling and making noises and eating food like a normal human. he crawls and laughs and claps his hands and thinks the world of you. he recognizes you and holds his tiny bit chubby arms up to you and gives you open-mouthed kisses. he becomes adventurous and curious about the world, and you get to show him. you are his mama. you are the one he wants when he is scared, you are the one he comes to for comfort and snugs, you are the one who makes him laugh, you are the one who gets to show him the whole entire world. you are his comforter, helper, protecter, adventure-taker, Hobbit-reader, butt-wiper, biggest fan, outfit-picker-out-er, keeper of the boobs, belly tickler, silly dancin partner, sneaker of ice cream, encourager, cleaner of all the messes, ouchie-kisser, listener of all the ideas, master snuggler, best friend. what a hugely significant role is motherhood. what a crazy beautiful hard learning process. what a precious gift.
This is incredibly difficult. My 2 boys. How could you do this😩
Go on a road trip with: Vlasic. We’d go around to animal shelters and save all the dogs on the kill list.
Take to prom: Jonesy. I’ve heard he’s a good dancer.
Get a puppy with: obviously Pickles. And why stop at one? We’d adopt as many dogs as possible.
Let pick music in the car: probably Jones. Pickles is French Canadian so I feel like he would go for French music. Nothing against it, there are several French songs on my playlist, but Jones is from Vancouver so I think our music taste would at least be the same language.
Make cupcakes for: Jones. That boy is way too skinny. He could handle a cupcake or 1000.
Sweatshirt I’d steal: Vlasic’s. He’s 6'1 compared to Jonesy’s 6'4, and I’m 5'4, so it’d fit me better.
as well as the tubbs discourse, i have noticed that another cat is facing hatred, but this time they did nothing wrong.
pickles is a sweet faint hearted cat who just wants a nice place to sit and a small amount to eat. he shares with the other cats, and he gives wherever he can. he even gives you a silent bell because he doesnt want to frighten you or him.
tubbs is a feline menace who eats all of your food but most of the time leaves little in return. this takes food away from the other cats and leaves you less able to provide for the other needy cats.