pickle everything

anonymous asked:

okay so if toaster = octopus then kangaroo equals what?

Kangaroo = PVC pipe, and toaster, and octopus, and you, and me, and the continent known as Australia, and the old tree in front of my house, and the entire known universe, and a pickle.

Everything is connected. Everything is a product of the big bang. Time is relative. My grandpa’s dead, but he was alive at one point. Morals are relative. We are all made of stardust.

anonymous asked:


someone should make a video of that one scene from that Spongebob episode “Big Pink Loser” where Spongebob is trying to get Patrick to open a pickle jar

everything would be the same except there’d be text over things; Spongebob would be “the audience”, Patrick would be “the crewniverse” and the pickle jar would be “the plot”

“Pickles Make Anything Better”Sam Winchester X Daughter!Reader For:@jared-padaloveme Sorry if this isn’t what you want message me back if you want another one!    

Originally posted by awkwardsamw

   “Daddy…" The little girl whispered walking over to his seat in the library, her uncle Dean had been sick for a few days daddy had carried him in the bunker, “Daddy" she repeated louder when he didn’t turn around she started tugging on his shirt sleeve. “Not now Babygirl daddy’s busy” he muttered not looking up from the book he was reading “Daddy” she said a little more sternly placing her small hands on her hips and staring up at him with a disapproving look.


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It was 11:58 pm.

Rummaging through the pantry she groaned aloud, throwing the packet of Honeydukes Dark Chocolate to the other side. Even though she had so much food, nothing was going to satisfy her craving. Pickles. Draco had everything, Green Apple strips, crisps of every variety, every kind of savoury, even green apples, but no pickles. Deciding to search one more time, just hoping she had overlooked them, Draco stumbled down the stairs. With his eyes half open, his favourite green sweats half on his waist and his shoulders slump as he saw the light on in the kitchen.

“Granger?” He walked around the corner, chuckling when he saw her on the floor, continuing to throw around food and completely wrecking the pantry.

“Sweetheart?” He touched her shoulder and she flinched, turning around to see him, her eyes watering and lip quivering.

“Oh Draco, I’m so frustrated.” He helped her stand, petting her hair as the both of them looked at the trashed pantry.

“What’s wrong?” Wiping away her tears she turned to him.

“I’m craving pickles and of course we don’t have any!” With a smile he kissed her head.

“Did you check the fridge? I could have sworn we had some?” With a shake of her head she waddled over to the fridge, opening it and still seeing nothing.

“Hmm,” Draco got on his knees, moving the jars in front of the pickles away and reaching in the back and pulling out the jar, a squeal leaving her lips.

“Thank you so so much baby.” She hugged him, their baby boy do flips inside her belly as Draco bent down to deliver a few pecks to her stomach to calm him down.

“Now eat and come back to bed, I’m feeling a lil’ bit lonely.”



Harry Styles Pregnancy Series

Word Count:

Rated: PG

Authors Note: Sorry this is a quick one but it is gettting kind of har to write these and there isn’t much that I can do with his topic.


You hate pickles. They are disgusting, sour, slimy, and make you gag just looking at them. You feel very strongly about this, when you’re not pregnant. 

You love pickles. 

You literally cannot get enough of them. You wish you could put pickles on everything, but you know that it isn’t healthy for the baby. 

You are currently sitting on the couch with a furry blanket wrapped gently around your legs. A jar of pickles is sitting on your lap and a fork in hand. You are happily munching on your favorite snack and watching some mindless TV. Harry is out shopping with some friends.

This is your happy place right now. In your warm house. By yourself 


Chips would be really nice right now. 

Barbeque chips. 

Before you even realize it your phone is in your hand nad you are dialing Harry’s number. You place the phone up to your ear and wait for the sweet sound of Harry’s voice.

“Hey love.” Harry says as you hear some shuffling on the other side.
“Hi!” You cheer.

“Why are you so happy?” He asks while laughing.

“I’m enjoying my alone time!” You say.

“You don’t miss me?” Harry asks. He pretends to be offended.

“Of course I miss you and it would be really nice if you were here rubbing my feet, but I’m enjoying being lazy.” You say.

“Mmkay.” Harry begins, “Is there a reason you called me?”

“Ummm,” You linger, “Are you on your way home?”

"Yeah, I’m about ten minutes away.” Harry says.

“Could you do me a favor?” You ask .

“Anything for you love.” Harry laughs at your childish behavior.

“Do you think you could stop at the store for me on the way home?” You ask, actually a little nervous for the answer.

“Uhh, yeah. Yeah I can stop.” Harry says, “Is there something you wanted specifically?”

“Yeah! I want Barbecue chips!” You cheer.

“Do you want the chips, or does the baby want the chips?” Harry asks.
“A little for both I think.” You reply. 

“Okay. I will be home in like twenty minutes.” Harry says and almost twenty minutes later Harry walks through the door. There is a distinct sound of the cringing of the bag of chips. “I’m home!” Harry yells.

“Yes!” You yell as you prepare yourself for your chips. Harry appears in the doorway of the living room with a bag of chips and a glass of water in one hand. A cold beer sits in his other hand.

He picks up your legs and sits on the couch. Harry then replaces your legs on top of his lap. He opens the bag of chips and places them on your lap. 

“Here.” Harry says as he hands you the water bottle, “You need to drink more if you are going to keep eating all this salty stuff.”

“How about I take the beer instead?” You joke.

“No, no, no.” Harry says, “The beer is for me, you can have one in a few months.”

“Mhmm I miss it.” You say while eyeing the beer in his hands. You really do miss it. You miss the ability to drink with Harry and laugh, but that time will soon come. And with that you will be watching your little child running around or enjoying a cold beer after a long day of parenting. There will be many beers to come. 

Eggs (Michael Clifford Blurb)

Relationship: Michael x Reader

Words: 379

Requests are open

Author’s Note: You wake Michael up, convincing him to help you cure your pregnancy cravings.   I didn’t have time to proofread so hopefully there’s not too many errors. Let me know what you think! :) 

“Mikey,” you whined. Michael stirred beside you, his hand shooting to your protruding belly. His eyes blinked rapidly adjusting to the dark room. “The baby’s hungry.” Before you could even tell Michael tonight’s pregnancy craving he was out of the bed, pulling on the closets pair of jeans he could fine. “You don’t have to leave,” you said.

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39. “Hey! I was gonna eat that!”

thebestestwifey requested: Hey love are you still doing the writers games? If so can you pretty please do #39 “hey I was gonna eat that” with dean and the reader bring all fluffy and cute and arguing over pie? Thanks sweets.

I’m getting better at these drabbles, I think… They aren’t the length of one shots anymore ^^ 

Also, I finally got the direct Messanger, so shoot me a message if you want to! I’ll reply as fast as I can :)

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