pickle bar

Problem Sleuth: Is the equipment secure?


Pickle Inspector: Check.

Problem Sleuth: Weapon loaded?


Pickle Inspector: Check.


Problem Sleuth: Did you have breakfast?


Pickle Inspector: What? That’s not on the checklist.


Problem Sleuth: I added it because I care about you.


Pickle Inspector: No, I did not have breakfast.

Problem Sleuth: Unacceptable. Look in your pocket.


[Pickle finds a breakfast bar in his pocket]


Pickle Inspector: Hey, there’s little chocolate chips in this.


Problem Sleuth: Yeah, I’m not an idiot. I know how to trick my best friend into eating his fiber.

Pregnancy Fluff- Josh Dun

Request: “Pregnancy Josh Dun fluff?” (Hence my extremely creative title)

Word Count: 1K

You were quickly awoken from your sleep. Well, it was more like a two hour nap, because the urge to pee had you getting up every couple of hours. The bun in the oven decided to practice kick boxing with your bladder tonight. You sighed and sat up. Josh was still sound asleep next to you. Recently, the baby loved to move around a lot at night. They started kicking as if they were already trying to become the next best field goal kicker in the NFL.

“Geez our child is going to be one heck of an athlete.“ 

You placed a hand on your lower stomach and could feel what seemed to be a tiny foot. You tried to whisper gently, but it came out as more of a distressed groan.

 "I love you baby Dun, but momma is trying to sleep…" 

The sound of your slightly pained voice became like an alarm for Josh. He had always been a heavy sleeper; often oblivious to even the loudest thunderstorms. Tour life had trained him to block out most background noise. However, ever since the first night that you woke up sick, sprinting for the toilet, he became hyper-aware of your pregnancy symptoms. Josh’s head lifted from the pillow and his forehead scrunched up in a state of concern. “Y/N? Babe, what’s wrong?” You felt bad for disrupting Josh’s peaceful sleep, so you tried to assure him that everything was alright. “Nothings wrong Josh. Just go back to sleep, love." 

After being married for 2 years, Josh could sense your little white lies. Your fibs were especially sure to fail when it came to your unborn child. Josh was already the most tender loving father, and he became more protective of you as your pregnancy progressed. His hand found yours in the darkness and he gave it a squeeze. "Baby troubles?”, he questioned. Another point of pressure was being pressed below your stomach and you sighed as your eyes squeezed shut. The nonstop kicking made you wince and hold your breath. Josh took that as a yes. You slid out from between the bedsheets and shuffled to the bathroom. “I desperately need to pee,” you muttered. All those bicycle kicks to your bladder really took a toll on your bathroom usage.

—–

After you were done, you opened the door to see your husband sitting up on the edge of the bed. 

“Joshua. It’s fine. Just go back to sleep.”

 But he was at your side in a second, shaking his head and leading you back to bed. “Lay on your side. I’ll give you a massage. I was reading about it online… and I don’t know if you’ll like it, but I heard it could help the baby change position…” Of course. If anyone was going to search the internet for massage techniques just to make you feel better, it would be your husband. You cupped his cheeks and kissed him softly. “You are unbelievable, Josh. I love you" 

You both settled back into bed and pulled the comforter up to your chest. Josh was lying behind you, placing a few kisses along your shoulder. "You are carrying our baby inside of you, Y/N. That seems like a pretty awe-inspiring, alien-like accomplishment to me. What kind of dad would I be not to help you out? I’m pretty sure you do the hard part,” he whispered, gesturing to your 30 week pregnant stomach. Josh’s hands pressed into your lower back and you hummed in approval. “So, I’m happy to be up in the middle of the night, if it means you are a bit more comfortable.” His knuckles ran up and down the sides of your spine, immediately taking your mind off of your aches.

 —-

You awoke to the sound of the front door shutting. You glanced to the side of the bed, and sure enough, Josh wasn’t there. A fresh glass of water sat on your bed side table. He knows how quickly you can become dehydrated, so Josh must’ve left it there before he got up. The ingrained marks of the bedsheets on your body indicated that you slept well. Surely, you wouldn’t have gotten the joy of these sleep lines if it wasn’t for Josh’s soothing touch. The last thing you could recall from the night before was Josh’s hands working on your sore back. The temperature must have dropped overnight, so you slipped one of Josh’s sweatshirts on over your head . Because his stature was naturally quite larger than than yours, Josh’s clothes still fit over your baby bump. For this, you were extremely grateful. 

You shuffled across the cool floor and into the kitchen, where your husband was unloading a few grocery bags. “Josh? It’s still early. Why were you at the grocery store?” Slightly startled by your voice, Josh spun around, revealing a jar of dill pickles in his hands. “Oh. Y/N, you are up! I- uh wanted to get some stuff before you got up, just incase you were craving anything today. You ate the last of the pickles yesterday, and we are running low on the dark chocolate.” He searched through the plastic bags and whipped out an assortment of your favorite snacks. “I know it’s good for you to snack throughout the day so you don’t get nauseous…” You smiled at the thought of Josh roaming the grocery store just to find the right brand of pickles and the exact bars of chocolate that you preferred. Although he tended to get nervous about fatherhood, you had no doubt in your mind that he would be a great dad.

You inhaled the scent of Josh’s hoodie and walked towards him with open arms. “I really just wanna engulf you in a hug right now, but I think that’s getting a little harder for me to do. All this extra weight kinda gets in the way of the usual bear hug,” you joked. Josh slipped his arms around you and buried his head in your neck. "Really? ‘Cause I don’t think it gets in the way.” You could feel him laugh into your shoulder. “I think I have the hottest pregnant wife on the planet.”

5

The Bar Bots Comic

(A very gay and partially-animated webcomic about love and hope at the end of the world)

In the future when robots live together with humans, it’s hard to imagine anything could ever go wrong. But when the mechanical replacement parts of random humans start taking them over and “glitching” them out, everyone in town is lost as to what should be done.

That is until a small group of five robots who work at a back-alley bar accidentally step up to take on the mystery of why this is happening to innocent people.

Armed with bad attitudes and broken hearts, how far can this band of “Bar Bots” go before they have to confront their own problems? Can they help each other out of the holes they’ve dug themselves- or are the Bar Bots out of time?

You can find out that and more by starting here!

And you can even try asking the Bar Bots themselves a question or two here!

Getting to spend time with his wife- he would never tire of calling her that- in and out throughout the entire day was certainly a luxury he would never be willing to give up. Every moment was something he cherished, especially after how long he’d spent his time intent on getting his revenge and after all the time spent fighting villains with no end in sight.

They only dealt the…occasional villain now. Which, quite frankly, was likely Grumpy having gotten himself into a pickle at the bar by drinking too much and getting into some ridiculous fight. “You know,” he started, walking into her office at the police station and perching on the edge of her desk, a small smile curling at his lips, “I believe it’s time for a well-deserved lunch break.” He tilted his head slightly toward the exit of the station. “What say you, love?”

[ @thesaviourblog ]

anonymous asked:

Dude. So I moved from Austin, Texas (the place I love most) to The Woodlands, Texas (A place I love least) and I go to this restaurant (1252 Tapas Bar) and I'm *PRETTY* sure they're using your images for their menu! Is this all okay by you? Is this a place you've frequented ever? HUGE FAN OF YOUR WORK, btw.

Hmm, No, I can’t say I’ve ever been there. (I HAVE been to Austin though - it was awesome)
and no, they don’t have permission to be using my images …

Mr Pickles gives 1252 Tapas Bar the side eye.